My lips traveled all over that gorgeous tapered sex, kissing it like a long-lost lover. I kissed and licked just as I’d promised, stroking both heated lengths with my hands. More pre-cum dribbled from his primary cock, and I sucked hard, dimpling my cheeks as I accepted each lovely offering. I groaned in gratitude each time, eager to please him so he would make good on his promise to fuck me. My pussy wasn’t as close to cataclysm as it had been while he played with me, but I was desperate to feel Nang inside me.
The commander’s breathing grew louder and faster as I made his cocks engorge. He uttered noises of animal satisfaction until at last he pushed me backwards, making me lay back on the couch.
“Hold yourself open for me,” Nang demanded, lowering himself to lay on top of me. “I’m going to fuck this sweet body now.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. I grabbed the backs of my knees and splayed myself wide for him. I’d apparently pushed him to his limit because he had his cocks in one fist, positioning them for entrance instantly. I cried out to feel him hard and ready at my pussy and ass. He snarled at me, showing fangs.
Nang sank into me with a long, drawn-out groan. We were both so wet that he immersed himself in me in one smooth motion. He threw his head back and tensed all over. There was a ripping sound by my ear, and I looked over to see him tearing into the couch cushion with his desperate grip.
“No,” he moaned. “Don’t move, Shalia. If you do, I’ll come right away.”
I ached to buck beneath him, because I was right on the verge myself. I heaved for breath beneath him. “It’s okay. I’m ready too,” I said.
Nang shook his head viciously. “I have waited too long for this moment. I will not have it end so quickly.”
So we lay there, trembling and trying to calm ourselves. After a few minutes, the commander began to move, taking slow, careful strokes. My senses reeled after only seconds, my body stampeding for that gorgeous realization.
“Ah … ah … ah…” I wailed.
“Don’t you dare,” Nang growled at me. “Not until I tell you to.”
My body wound tight, tighter. “Oh please, Nang,” I begged. “I need to come.”
“Not yet. I will punish you if you do.”
Thoughts of being spanked only made the need to climax more insistent. I cried out, clawing at Nang’s shoulders.
He hissed. His hips slammed hard, and his cocks hit every good part I had. I yelped and bucked against him, driving him deeper. Oh God. I wasn’t going to last.
Nang made a low howling noise and lost all control. He pounded wildly against me, fucking me for everything he was worth. My pussy clenched tight then tighter and my control broke.
I came with a shriek that could have woken the dead. An instant later Nang bellowed and I felt the surge of hot, liquid pleasure filling me. His cocks pulsed hard, pumping his seed into my body.
“Fuck,” he groaned as we came down. “That was over much too fast.”
“It was good though,” I sighed. “Damn, was that ever good.”
The first pangs of guilt were sneaking in, and I was desperate to hide from my conscience. I stroked Nang’s perspiration-sheened body, enjoying all the muscles under my touch. “What is with you Kalquorians and control?”
He looked into my eyes, his expression relaxed, his kitty-cat eyes dilated. “It’s just the way we are. You disobeyed me, naughty girl.”
“I couldn’t stop myself. Consider it an ode to your sexual prowess.”
He chuckled. “Even so, I’m going to punish you for it next time we’re together.”
Next time. Oh boy. As much as the idea gets my motor running again, I can’t get the guilt out of my head. I love Dusa and Esak. I’d probably feel the same for Weln if we had time and I let myself consider him. It’s much too soon to replace them with anyone, especially a snake like Nang. Yet I probably will never see them again. I’m supposed to go to Kalquor and find a clan. Plus Nang makes me feel safe.
Damn it! What do I do?
November 10
I couldn’t handle the guilt of having sex with Nang. I broke down and told Weln about it last night.
I don’t know what I expected. Would he be angry on his clan’s behalf? Would he be disgusted? Sad? Disappointed? I wouldn’t have been surprised by any of these reactions. Weln knows Dusa and Esak care about me and that they wanted to clan me. Surely he would have something to say that would make me feel even worse, but I was choking on my conscience.
Imagine my surprise when Weln chuckled instead and wrapped his arms around me. “Poor, poor Shalia,” he whispered. “Is that why you are looking like the world has ended?”
“It has ended, remember? Dead planet? Evacuate everyone?” I was babbling because he looked at me with such warmth and compassion I couldn’t think straight. Wasn’t he going to tell me off or rant at me for being fickle?
“Right. Bad example,” he said. Weln hugged me close. “Shalia, you aren’t clanned. You are not my clan’s Matara. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“But – but Dusa told me right out that he loves me. I adore him and Esak. Why would I turn to another man if I really care?”
“Because you need the strength of a man like Nang. You need the escape from responsibility he offers. These last months with Armageddon happening have put you under more stress than I can imagine.” Weln smoothed my hair as if soothing an upset child. “The last few weeks in particular have been really horrific, starting with your mother’s stroke. Even the toughest Nobek I know would falter under such pressure.”
“I still feel like I’ve done something terrible.”
Weln shook his head. “Dusa told you to find a clan on Kalquor. With that, he released you from any and all expectations of fidelity. You are a free woman. You have every right to have a sexual relationship with Nang, especially if it allows you to explore all your needs and wants. How else can you expect to find the most compatible clan possible?”
My eyebrow rose. “Just a sexual relationship with Nang?”
Weln scowled. “The commander hasn’t promised more, has he? His clanmates are not attracted to women. He can’t clan you, not without a full clan devoted to your needs.”
“I know that.” I was starting to feel a little better. “Are you sure Dusa and Esak won’t be hurt?”
The Imdiko gave me a sad smile. “I can’t say that. They do love you, so there will be pain involved. But they know they can’t have you, so they accept that you will experiment with other men and ultimately become the Matara of a clan that will take proper care of you.”
I blew out a breath. I still felt a little weird, especially since I’d turned to Nang so quickly after Dusa and Esak had left. But Weln acted as if I wasn’t the horrid person I’d thought I was. Not even close.
Since I was coming clean about everything, I told him the truth of how I felt about him. “I know you’re Dusa and Esak’s Imdiko now. You’ve been so good to me and Mom that I feel I owe you something. I’ve been keeping a little distance though. I knew I was going to hurt over losing the other two, and I was right. I don’t want to hurt any more than I do, Weln. It has nothing to do with you. You’re absolutely wonderful.”
His grip on me tightened. “I feel the same way, Shalia. I’m doing everything in my power to not get more attached than I already am. It’s actually a little bit of a relief for me that you’ve gone to Nang for some of your needs. It makes it easier for me to not see you as a potential mate, one I’ll have to let go.”
That was a huge weight off me to know Weln and I were on the same page. When we made love last night, it was with a sense of freedom and none of the pain that had gone before with our shared loss of Dusa and Esak. We laughed. We romped around like a couple of teenagers. We had fun, something there is just not enough of these days.
I’m still a little shaky. I still feel plenty guilty, but I know no one is thinking ill of me. Life is going on. Not the way Dusa, Esak, or I want it to, but it is going on. I’ll keep trying to convince
myself of that.
November 11
I just can’t stop getting the opinions of others, especially since Nang has been leaving messages on my com asking me to come see him. He tells me stuff he wants to do to me, things that make me all squirmy inside. He keeps reminding me he owes me punishment for climaxing without permission. The way he talks about it makes me want to run straight over and offer myself for it. Damn, I’m so screwy.
I went to sit with Mom today. She’s really, really improving. I almost think she’s good enough to stay with me again, if I wasn’t camped out with Weln. I asked Dad if he thought I should get her and I a room assignment.
He shook his head. “What’s the point? By the time we’d be comfortable enough to release Matara Eve, you’ll be only days from getting on the transport to Kalquor. She’s fine right here where we can administer her therapy and keep an eye on things.”
The way Dad said that made me instantly alert. “Things?”
He gave me a gentle look. “Your mother is elderly, my daughter. It’s apparent she hasn’t taken good care of herself over the years, plus she’s had so many setbacks recently. Once on Kalquor, they’ll be able to reverse a great many issues, but we have to get her there first.”
I swallowed. “Are you saying she might die before she gets to your planet?”
Nayun hugged me close. “If we believe she is in imminent danger, we will place her in stasis. Cryo-freeze will allow us to get her to the treatment she ultimately needs to enjoy as much as another forty years of life. I just want you to realize she is not in very good shape as far as longevity is concerned.”
“More good news,” I grumped.
“I know, sweetheart,” Dad said. “So tell me how you are doing. Still depressed?”
I had no intentions of discussing my crazy sex life with the man. I mean, I know we’re not actually related, but in my heart Nayun is my dad. No way I wanted that conversation.
I was still anxious for his opinion. I said, “I’m hanging in there. Weln is really supportive. We kind of lean on each other when things get sad.”
“Good.”
“I was wondering, though. What is your opinion of Commander Nang?”
Dad blinked. Then his face scrunched up and he groaned, “Oh Shalia. No. No, no, no, no. Tell me you are not considering him in a romantic way.”
I got hot all over in embarrassment. “Not romantically. That bad, huh?”
He shook his head as if to say what am I going to do with you, Shalia? Then Dad slumped back against the wall behind him.
He told me, “Look, if you’re just exploring your sexuality and getting comfortable with it, there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I would encourage it.”
I made a face. “Gross. That is not the kind of thing an Earther dad tells his daughter. We shouldn’t even be talking about it with each other. It’s too weird.”
Dad grimaced. “Do you think this is comfortable for me? By the ancestors, Shalia, my first instinct is to beat the shit out of anyone who looks at you wrong.”
Aww. That was kind of cute.
He went on. “Look, Clan Nang is not a fit match for you. His Imdiko and Nobek are homosexual. When it comes to women, they are completely disinterested.”
“I know, I know. I’m not interested in joining Nang’s clan. Even if the other two liked women, there’s something about Nang that bothers me. He’s – he’s kind of slimy.”
Dad’s lips twitched as if he wanted to laugh and was fighting not to. After a moment, he said, “He’s a very good officer. But yes, he has been known to be less than … respectable. He is not above achieving his goals using underhanded methods.”
I sensed good gossip there. “Why? What has he done?” I asked.
Dad shook his head and let a smile creep out. “Nothing you need to know, my daughter. Just be careful around him.” His smile faded. “By the ancestors, I never imagined being a father could be so difficult.”
“You could always disown me,” I pointed out.
He shook a warning finger at me. “Don’t say such things. I wouldn’t trade you for a hundred well-slept nights.”
Gosh, I love that guy.
Later, I talked to Candy about my dilemma. She loves hearing from me about anything to do with sex. She still hasn’t taken that step yet, as titillated by the idea as she is. Lately, I feel like I’m fucking for the both of us.
“Ooh, Commander Nang,” she breathed. “He is hot. So masculine and strong. Is he really going to punish you?”
“If I decide to have another encounter with him,” I said. I was amused that she seemed to find the idea of Nang disciplining me so exciting. I had thought she would tell me to run the other way. But no, she was biting her lips and breathing fast at the idea. It’s no wonder we get along so well.
“I think you should enjoy yourself while you can,” Candy said after actually being quiet for a few moments and thinking about it. “We may not find anyone worth our time on the trip to Kalquor. Weln says it’s okay and that Dusa and Esak will understand. Dr. Nayun seems to think as long as you’re careful, you should be fine. You like having sex with Nang. So he’s something of a manipulative jerk. As long as you keep that in mind, why not enjoy yourself?”
She has a point. Other than vid communications, I’m not going to see Dusa and Esak again. I really should move on, as much as I hate the idea. Maybe Nang will be good to help me get past the loss and prepare for the future. Or maybe I just want to get laid and want to find a good excuse to do so.
To thine own self be true.
November 12
I slept with Nang again. Was there any doubt it would happen? Damn it, maybe I should walk around with a scarlet ‘A’ on my chest.
I do get points for trying to keep it from happening. A few. I showed up at his office with no warning, kind of hoping he’d be too busy to entertain me. However, I was ready for him, sexually speaking. The closer I got to his office, the more my heart pounded. I was trembling all over by the time I got there, and my thighs were soaked. I didn’t wear panties, thinking I’d like to keep the few pair I’d managed to scrounge up. Nang tore up the last pair, so I reasoned it was both sexy and practical to not wear any.
A couple of security Nobeks were just leaving as I arrived. They looked me over with obvious lust, bowed, and grinned before going on their way. Then Nang stood in his doorway, looking delighted to see me. It’s nice when people are happy you’re in the room, even if it’s simply because they’re about to get some action.
“Come in, Shalia,” he said, stepping aside to let me walk into his office. He closed and locked the door behind me.
I was so nervous and aroused I couldn’t say a word. All I could do was stand there like an idiot with my eyes wide enough to nearly pop right out of my head.
Nang stepped up to me and leaned down. His kiss was gentle and sweet. His hands cupped my breasts and he traced his thumbs over my nipples. I moaned and swayed. Just that little bit was enough to make me feel I could come right then and there before he got anywhere near my pussy.
“Sweet girl,” he whispered against my lips. “But you were naughty last time, weren’t you? I would be remiss if I didn’t correct your behavior.”
Juices ran down the insides of my legs. I shivered hard.
“Just a little pain, and it will be over,” Nang said, taking my hand. He tugged me across the room to his desk. He sat on its surface. “Lay over my lap for your discipline. That’s my girl.”
I leaned over those rock-hard thighs, feeling the muscles beneath my stomach. Nang placed his hand between my shoulder blades, holding me in place while the other hand lifted the skirt to my waist. His groan of appreciation as my naked ass came into view made me worry he wouldn’t be so harsh with the punishment. I wanted him to be thorough, as if it would somehow alleviate some of the guilt I still carried.
His calloused hand caressed my shuddering flesh. I moaned again, feeling how rough his touch was. How hot. In a few seconds, I thought
perhaps I would find whole new levels of rough and hot.
Nang felt along the crevice, discovering how wet I was. His lascivious chuckle made my hair stand on end. “Excited, are we?” He rubbed my folds with enthusiasm that made me clench and writhe. “Shall I hold back for this first chastisement? Give you a small demonstration while showing a little mercy?” His voice deepened. “Or should I make you take the full brunt of my displeasure with your lack of obedience last time? Would you like my handprints left on this exceptional ass?”
My sex gushed a flood at the threat in his tone. I made a sound that was half-sob, half-groan as my guts lurched in excited response.
Shalia's Diary Book 2 Page 14