I shook my head. I couldn’t imagine that level of desperation. “You took good care of her, I’m sure.”
He smiled. “She couldn’t believe it when I gave them all food and water in the shuttle on the way to the refugee camp. When the medical techs took her and the children to be evaluated, she just kept saying, ‘I’m dreaming. This can’t really be happening. You’re Kalquorians.’”
“We’ve got a lot of wounds to heal between our people,” Esak observed. He squeezed my hand. His hair is growing in pretty fast. It nearly covers the evidence of his scars already. I thought he looked wonderful. All three of them did.
I made Dusa promise they’d look me up when they returned to Kalquor. No matter where I was or who I was with, I told him he’d better come see me and say hello. I gather such things might be inappropriate for a clanned Matara to have former lovers show up on her clan’s doorstep, but I was adamant about the matter.
“I’m not joining any clan who won’t accept there might be other Kalquorians I care about,” I told him. “You guys saved my life and my sanity more times than I can count. I’m not giving you a choice in the matter. You will visit me.”
Dusa laughed and ducked his head, probably to hide the tears in his eyes. “Yes, Shalia. We will come see you when we get home to Kalquor.”
Now Dusa and Esak have gone back to Atlanta. Soon I’ll be leaving too. The transport that will take me to Kalquor arrives in a week. I don’t know whether to cheer or cry. I’ll probably do both. For now, I’m trying very hard to be grateful I got to touch Dusa and Esak one last time. No, we didn’t do anything sexual during their brief visit, but being alive and seeing them again is anything but mundane. I’m not taking that little gift for granted. It will be a very long time before I see them in person again.
November 28
I haven’t written much in several days. I’m trying to spend every waking moment with those I’m about to leave behind, even though Dad and Weln’s work schedules are making that difficult. When I’m not with them, I’m seeing what I can get from the procurement specialists here at the Academy to take with me to Kalquor. I’ve collected clothes for me and Mom, toiletries, little amusements to while away nine months of travel, that kind of thing. They’ll have things I can use on the arriving ship as well, stuff collected from here on Earth.
Plus I’m told my Kalquorian government-issued allowance will be kicking in the moment I board the transport. I can spend it if I want on the way to my new home. We’ll be stopping at different places like space stations, colonies, and planets on our way to the Empire. Candy acts like this is all a big pleasure cruise we’re embarking on, instead of leaving our home forever. She makes me wish I wasn’t such a Gloomy Gus. I’d do anything to trade some of my pessimism for her optimism.
Tomorrow is the big day. Goodbye Earth. Goodbye Dad and Weln. Goodbye Dusa and Esak. Sure, I can com or vid them any time. In fact, Dad has made me swear to check in with him at least once a week.
Since being released from Medical three days ago, I eat my evening meals with Dad’s clan at his insistence. I really like Bitev and Rak. They make me feel like an actual member of their family. I think if I had more time, I’d be calling more than one man ‘Dad’. They all do that caress of placing the palms of their hands on my cheek, which Weln told me is the traditional way fathers greet their daughters. It’s nice to be cared about and damned hard to be leaving it behind.
It’s not like I’m never going to see any of them anymore, not when technology has them only a click away. But it’s not the same as being with them all, face to face. No more hugs from Dad. No more fatherly advice from Bitev. No more cautions from Rak. Most of all, no more lovemaking like Weln and I did last night.
Great, now I’m thinking about last night. It was really, really bittersweet. We went to bed and Weln held me close. After he entered me, we just lay there, kissing and talking for a long time. When we did get around to the actual sex, Weln was sweet and gentle and slow. My climax was like that too. We stayed linked afterward, neither one of us willing to part from the other. I dozed off for a little while, then Weln woke me for more of the same. That was our entire night. We’d love a little while, sleep a little while with him still inside me, then when fresh arousal woke Weln again, we make love some more. When he left for his shift this morning, he told me to expect more of the same tonight. It will be our last night together. I bawled my eyes out after he was gone.
I have all this stuff to pack in my carry case now. Mom’s packing is done. It wasn’t hard to get her things together. Procurement even replaced her knitting needles and scrounged up a few skeins of yarn for her to have on Kalquor. It was so nice of them to make that extra effort.
My belongings on the other hand … I keep looking at that empty case and all my things laying out beside it, waiting to be placed inside. I’m having a hard time doing it. This is finally it. I’m leaving. I’m scared as hell, and I’m sad.
This is really it.
November 29
I have left Earth. I am now on a shuttle with around two hundred other people, if you count Mom in her stasis chamber. Most are the people Weln took care of, the disabled and infirm who will be treated on Kalquor, then sent on to wherever the Galactic Council decides to put them. I’ve figured out that about seven of us are lottery entrants, looking to become Mataras to clans. We are on our way to the orbiting transport that will take us to Kalquor.
My eyes ache from crying. They literally ache. Even happy-go-lucky, can’t-wait-to-go-to-Kalquor Candy is bawling buckets from time to time. Every lucid Earther on this shuttle has cried. We are wrecks, and the Kalquorian attendants are staying busy checking on us, offering drinks and sweets and even gentle pats on the shoulders and backs. They don’t try to talk us out of our misery. I guess they know we need to grieve for all we’ve lost.
I’m doing a little better than when I came to the shuttle first thing this morning. I came apart as Dad hugged me goodbye. I clung to him, my big giant of a Kalquorian father. How many times has this man been the rock I needed? Too many times to count. No matter what craziness I involved myself in, Dad was there to advise me, to hug me, to gently rebuke me. It really, really hurts to have found a father only to leave him behind so soon. I am determined that when he gets home to Kalquor, I will be right there to welcome him.
He wept like a baby himself. It kills me to see that big man cry. It’s wrong for someone as sweet as him to feel pain. Thankfully, his clanmates Bitev and Rak were there. They came to see me off too. They probably did it to make sure Nayun was okay, but I appreciated my other two would-be dads being there just for the strength they offered me along with him. Damn, I wish they all were coming with me.
Then there was Weln. He and I spent last night like the night before, making love as often as possible. There was more desperation to it this time. I felt like I was trying to not just say goodbye to Weln, but to Dusa and Esak through him. To everything I’d found that was good since meeting them. I’m going to see them when they come home too, I swear it. If only it wasn’t so far in the future!
Gosh, we cried. Earth should have a new ocean for all the tears that were shed.
I finally boarded the shuttle. Dad and Weln had to kind of push me into the open hatch because my legs couldn’t seem to carry me away on their own. I finally went and turned around for one last look.
I really wanted to see the green grass and tall pine trees one more time. Unfortunately, the Academy’s landing pad is all asphalt surrounded by tall buildings. At least there was the powder blue sky with a few cotton ball clouds to say goodbye to.
I saw a familiar figure in the distance, standing all alone, watching me. It was Commander Nang. I felt a wave of terror when I spied him, and I wondered if he would try to stop me from leaving. He didn’t move, however. He just watched.
I don’t know how to feel about him coming to see me off. I don’t know if I should feel anything. I didn’t wave or acknowledge him. He is in the past now,
and he can’t hurt me again.
When it seemed Nang would not move, I looked at Weln and Dad again. They smiled at me through tears.
Dad said, “Please take care of yourself, my daughter. Vid me in a couple of days after you’ve gotten settled on the transport. Make sure you visit Medical so they can verify you’re not suffering any ill effects from the smoke inhalation.”
“I will,” I sobbed.
“Make sure you also vid Dusa so he can get your contact frequency,” Weln added. “That way we can let you know when I get to Atlanta.”
“Okay.” The hatch started to close, shutting them off from me. I called out, “I love you, Weln. I love you, Dad.”
They chorused “I love you” back, and then I was left staring at the blank hatch of the shuttle. I don’t remember taking my seat, but I’m sure one of the attendants had to help me. I found myself sitting next to Candy. Our arms wrapped around each other. We clung and cried, like most of the other Earthers on board.
We felt the slight tremor of the shuttle moving, signaling our departure from Earth.
Now I must say goodbye to Earth itself. Right now I can look up at the vid window and see my home planet for the last time. I will never walk on it again, not when it’s been damaged so bad. It will take centuries to clean it up, the initial estimates say. There’s even debate if it’s worth intervention since Earth is so far away from the rest of the Galactic Council’s member planets. I hope they’ll fix it, even though I’ll never get to see that happen. Sentimental me.
Goodbye, little blue world. I’m sorry we fucked you up so bad. You will be missed.
The End
Author’s Note
Yes, I know… this has ended at a place leaving us with no Happily Ever After or even a Happily For Now. When it comes to serial stories, sometimes them’s the breaks, kids. They don’t always end where we want them to.
Fortunately, you don’t have to wait to see what happens next. Shalia’s Diary continues on at the free blog where it is updated twice a week. If you absolutely cannot wait until Book 3 to see what occurs as Shalia begins to make her way to Kalquor, be sure to pick up where we’ve left off with the December 1 entry at http://shaliasdiary.blogspot.com/2013/10/december-1.html. Join in the conversation and fun with the rest of the gang who tune in every Monday and Thursday to see what kind of trouble Shalia has gotten herself into this time.
Putting Shalia’s Diary into book format was not my intention when I started writing it. It was only supposed to be a free serialized story in a blog for the delight of Kalquor’s most ardent fans. I got so many requests to release Shalia’s Diary in books, however, that I couldn’t ignore the demand. That’s why we’re not always going to have satisfying endings as these come out. It’s the nature of the serial beast.
For those of you who prefer to read Shalia’s Diary through the collections rather than the blog, thanks for your understanding and patience. As always, thanks for reading!
Until next time, take care.
Tracy
Want more of Shalia’s Diary? Keep up on the latest free entries at http://shaliasdiary.blogspot.com/.
Other books by Tracy St. John available at Amazon:
Unholy Union
The Font
To Protect and Service: Ravenous Virtue
THE CLANS OF KALQUOR SERIES:
Alien Embrace
Alien Rule
Alien Conquest
Alien Salvation
Alien Slave
Alien Interludes: Clans of Kalquor Short Stories
Alien Redemption
Alien Refuge
Alien Caged
CLAN BEGINNINGS
To Clan and Conquer
Clan and Conviction
OTHER CLANS OF KALQUOR BOOKS
Sister Katherine
Shalia’s Diary Book 1
THE NETHERWORLD SERIES:
Drop Dead Sexy
Blood Potion No. 9
Once Bitten Twice Dead
Please visit Tracy’s website at http://www.tracystjohn.com/
and Tracy’s blog at http://tracystjohn.blogspot.com
Follow on Twitter http://twitter.com/@TracySaintJohn
Shalia's Diary Book 2 Page 21