“I just think maybe we're being hasty.” Brenna dropped her gaze. She couldn’t take looking at the men any longer. It hurt. “If we will be in love forever, what are a few years of waiting it out, right?”
Waldrom said nothing.
He didn't have to.
Brenna saw the hurt on his face. In his whole body. The way he appeared crumbled and defeated by the further blow. Brenna didn't have to say “years,” but she did.
“Can we have breakfast together?” Victor asked after a long pause. “Perhaps with food you’ll feel better. The ceremony was exhausting. You’ll feel better if you eat.”
“This isn’t a problem that’ll be fixed with food,” Brenna mumbled. “It won't be fixed with anything but time and communication. I just… I have a lot to think about.”
“Then what do you want to do?” Waldrom asked. “You’re welcome to stay while you think. There are guest chambers you can stay in. Our home is your home. The palace is yours to live in as you wish.”
They didn't get it, and the conversation went around in circles.
“I need to go home,” Brenna said quietly. She couldn’t abandon her commitment to Dr. Kilpatrick, just because she’d met three hot guys. Her soulmates. Life didn’t work like that. “There are things I have to do there. I need to go back to my world and think. Can you take me back, Waldrom? I don’t want to stay here any longer.”
Waldrom’s mumbled yes was the most regretful word Brenna had ever heard. As painful to her heart as the audible sob that came from Corbin.
She knew she'd struck these men a terrible blow. She didn't understand it, but she also felt the pull of the soulmate bond between them.
Fated souls.
To these men, Brenna was more than an easy lay or an obligation. They weren’t only soulmates—the stuff that bound them was tied to their hearts, too. United in spirit and united in love, somehow, Brenna understood it.
They were designed for each other on all levels—physical, emotional, and spiritual—and the men had pledged their devotion in front of countless onlookers. Yet, she was prepared to walk away.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Brenna closed her eyes as the wind pushed back her hair and roared in her ears. She plummeted from the dock toward the water, wrapped tightly in Waldrom’s arms. The sleeves of her t-shirt rustled, displaced by the air current. Then, suddenly, they were no longer falling—they soared instead.
On the ascent, Brenna opened her eyes. She saw sky and Waldrom, and from the edge of her vision, she detected the ocean stretched out. Water as far as the eye could see under a clear, bright sky.
Brenna wondered if it was the last time she’d ever see this place.
Waldrom leveled out and turned gracefully, still coasting on the currents. He beat his wings a few times to drive them higher, then glided the rest of the way to the cliff top. They came to a smooth stop several feet from the edge. Brenna planted her feet on solid ground.
The emotion that saturated the air and sparked across Brenna’s skin whenever she was near him had changed. The rush of excitement and the tender stirrings of affection were still there, but Brenna's uneasiness and shame marred the feelings.
Brenna knew she loved him, but she had to love herself, too. Part of loving herself meant not doing things she didn’t want to do.
She didn’t want to leave the brothers, but if they intended to treat her like a child, Brenna didn’t have a choice. She wanted a partner, or partners, who considered her an equal.
Dirty talk, playing games, and letting the men dominate in their sex life was one thing, but Brenna wanted the respect that came from equality outside of the bedroom.
Waldrom was a prince, and he came from another world. There were differences between them. If those differences proved too great to reconcile, then Brenna had no choice but to walk away, no matter how much it broke her heart.
“You can still change your mind.” Waldrom's voice sounded calm, but there was a note of desperation in his words. “We can still turn around, hatchling.”
They had reached the end of the journey. These woods were undoubtedly of Brenna's world. She could see Dr. Kilpatrick's house through the trees.
Brenna wanted to give in, badly. Would it be all that awful, to warm Waldrom’s bed and be compliant and docile? Would it make her any less of a woman? Less of a feminist? Would she truly be letting her sisters down?
She needed to stay strong. “I have a job to do back in my world. I can't just abandon it and let people down. I am looking after the house I’m staying in—it doesn’t belong to me. Until the owner comes back and takes over from me, I’m bound to that place just like you’re bound to this dimension.”
She hoped that if she put it in the terms the brothers had previously used, he’d be able to understand.
“And after, will you have your decision?” Waldrom asked. They stepped beneath the great tree and appeared in the forest. “Will you come back to me?”
“I…” Brenna trailed off.
Waldrom squeezed her hand.
Brenna was too ashamed to squeeze it back. She’d betrayed a prince. Three of them. She’d promised herself to them, only to deny them. Brenna was guilty of causing hurt. Waldrom expected one thing of her, and she’d come around to do another.
And after the ceremony that was such a public commitment, Brenna felt as bad as if she'd abandoned her husband on the eve of their wedding day.
“I will be waiting,” Waldrom said heavily. The majestic raven prince stood strong. But his eyes showed the great pain he felt. “I'll be waiting here for you, for your decision, even if it’s a no.”
“I…” Brenna sucked in a breath. “I don’t know when that will be. You have a kingdom to look after. It’s probably best you don’t wait. I’ll come back through the dimensions to find you.”
“You’ll get lost,” Waldrom warned. “Or the gods will notice and refuse you entrance. I will wait.” The devotion in his voice was heartbreaking.
Brenna stared at her shoes, torn. It felt as if it were the last chance to change her mind. It wasn’t too late to make the walk back to the raven's world. Waldrom was still eager to take her back.
Brenna could be pampered and loved in a palace by the sea. But that wasn’t what she wanted. Not really. Brenna needed a partnership. She needed to feel valued and important. Being a pampered pet without responsibilities was fine for some, but she needed more.
She needed time.
“I guess this is goodbye, then,” Brenna said. she tried not to let sorrow show in her voice, but she failed.
“I guess it is.” Waldrom squeezed her hand. Brenna squeezed back. “You know where to find me, hatchling. My soul is yours forever.”
Forever. It had sounded so flippant when he had first asked and warned her what their lovemaking would mean. Now, it sounded very real. Solid, like the ground she stood upon.
“I’m sorry for the hassle this caused,” Brenna said. “You had a whole ceremony. I’m sure your people didn’t expect me to go.”
“Neither did I,” Waldrom admitted. His voice didn’t hide the heartbroken sorrow. “But we will rise above. When times get tough, we soar.”
“It’s not forever.”
“Only for now.” A tear rolled down Waldrom's cheek. He ignored it. “We'll talk again soon and reach a happy conclusion. I'm sure of it.”
Their fingers unlaced. Brenna took her first few steps out of the forest. When she turned to look back, Waldrom had already disappeared. A single black feather twisted through the air, spiraling to the ground. Brenna caught it before it fell. Her fingers tightened on the shaft.
She’d made her choice—now she had to live with it.
Her feet felt as if they were in shoes made of lead as she trudged the short distance to the house.
Her heart felt just as heavy.
By the time she reached the door, tears were cascading down her face, and she began to sob.
Inside, Brenna set the feather in a clear glass. She
placed it on a coaster on the coffee table.
Over the next few weeks, she spent an inordinate amount of time staring at it. In a particular light, the feather’s black turned a charming blue-green that reminded Brenna of her princes.
The purple-green shimmer in Brenna’s hair didn’t wash away. Every time she saw it in the mirror, it stayed as a reminder of what she’d walked away from.
Brenna felt miserable.
Truly, pitifully miserable.
She got through the days and weeks in a daze. Existing and functioning but not exactly living. She didn't venture into the forest. She only went outdoors when she had to. Riding the lawn mower barely raised a smile, and only because she thought the princes might enjoy it. And then she thought of flying, and that sent her right back into thinking about the life they might have together.
Damn it.
They needed to date.
To see each other.
How could Brenna make such a momentous decision without getting to know more of what her life with the princes might entail?
She went back to existing.
Mow the grass? Done.
Now, she’d find a book to pass the time. Something big and meaty, like War and Peace. Conveniently, she didn't need to download it; she already had Leo Tolstoy's Russian classic on her eReading device, and she also found it on Dr. Kilpatrick's bookcase. She'd flip between eReader and print.
Weeks later, as she played with her phone, searching for something very light and easy to read, possibly one written with middle schoolers in mind, Brenna accidentally closed the internet browser and hit on her contacts list. How? She wasn't sure.
The contacts list reminded her of all the people she should have contacted but hadn't.
She scrolled down it without purpose. She’d been toying with the idea of calling her parents, but she hated talking to her mom when she felt down. She couldn’t hide anything from her but didn’t want to share details of her love life at the best of times. And certainly, she couldn’t tell her about this.
She brushed her finger down over the screen, liking the way the names rolled in front of her as it whizzed back to the top of the list.
At the top of the list, were Alison and then Alex. There were a few others, but a name stood out, Jade in Beaumont.
Jade’s phone number, she'd sensibly put where they met. There probably wasn't anyone else like Jade in this small town.
Jade had hinted she knew something about the forest. Even if she hadn’t been to the raven's world, she seemed open-minded enough to let her rattle on about what had happened. She was Brenna’s best bet at reaching a conclusion about the raven princes.
Brenna dialed the number. Jade answered almost right away. “Hey? Who’s this?”
“It’s Brenna. We met at West Point. You bought me a drink. You might not remember if you frequently buy strangers lattes in cafes?”
“Of course, different day, different stranger.”
"Does it help if I tell you I'm the particularly good looking one with the dark hair?"
"Tall, dark and handsome, just how I like my boys. Of course, I remember, Brenna. And it's always the chai latte. It gets them every time.” Jade sounded as bright and cheerful as she had before. “I thought you weren’t going to call. Are you still in Dr. Kilpatrick’s house?”
“Yes. For a little while longer,” Brenna admitted.
The return of Dr. Kilpatrick had started to loom. He’d called to give Brenna the details of his flight, which gave the problem a greater sense of urgency.
“But I need someone to talk to, if you’re around.”
“I’m always around,” Jade teased. “What’s your schedule like tomorrow? I’ll be visiting West Point again, around eleven.”
What about now?
“Eleven works.” Brenna didn’t have anything else going on. She fanned her toes and bent them, trying to distract herself from the situation. “I’ll buy your cappuccino this time around.”
Jade scoffed. “Nah, don’t worry about it. You don’t owe me anything.”
“You might not agree after we talk tomorrow,” Brenna said. “I have something to get off my chest.”
Jade giggled. “But seriously, you owe me nothing,” Jade said. “And, no matter how serious it is, we’ll get it all sorted out.”
“I hope so. I'm a bit stressed.”
"Relax. I’m pretty sure you calling right now is fate. Tomorrow’s going to be interesting.”
Fate.
Another mention of fate. Brenna frowned. “What do you know?”
“I know a little bit of everything, and a whole lot of nothing,” Jade replied cryptically. “And I definitely know enough to know I don’t know anything at all.”
Well, that was frustrating. Jade seemed to talk in riddles half the time. Brenna scrunched her nose but didn’t argue. She had a feeling that getting anything out of Jade would take a monumental effort. She’d reserve that for when they were face to face.
“So, meet me tomorrow at eleven inside West Point. I’ll be the pretty blonde by the windows with the chai latte.”
“I’ll be there,” Brenna said. “Thank you.”
“Oh, don’t thank me.” Jade laughed. “At least, not until tomorrow’s over. I have a spectacularly bad habit of putting my foot in my mouth sometimes. You might not like what you hear.”
At this point, as stuck and divided as she felt, Brenna wasn’t sure that would be an issue.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Nothingness didn’t consume Brenna that night. When she opened her eyes, she found herself back at the cliffside palace instead. The scent of something a lot like rain hung thickly in the air. It stirred her nostalgia. Brenna took in a lungful of it and braced herself for what was to come.
A prince must have wanted to see her.
But none come.
Brenna sat amongst the black sheets, waiting. Candles burned, their flickering light casting shadows. She let her fingers trail along the silk, waiting, wondering, and then fearing that this was it—that she would be all alone.
“Victor?” Brenna asked cautiously.
No reply.
She waited in bed for a while longer. Wax dripped down the sides of the candles, marking the passage of time. Brenna watched as a thick glob of it dripped downward, coming to rest on top of the wax already pooled at the bottom of the holder.
“Waldrom?” she tried again.
There was nothing.
Brenna pulled back the sheets. Unlike in other dreams, she was fully dressed. Brenna plucked at her shirt. She was growing used to nudity when in the princes' world or their shared dreams, and to be concealed behind clothing made her itch. It wasn’t right.
“I’m sorry, Corbin.” Brenna stood up. She knew her way through the open doorway in the darkness—she knew it. “I’m sorry we’re so different. I hope you don’t hate me for wanting to take things slow.”
Beyond the light from the candles, Brenna saw nothing. The palace was carved deep into the cliff, and no natural light shone through. She knew she had nothing to worry about, but a chill crept down her spine like a spider down its silk string. It had to be because she was alone.
Brenna hesitated in front of the darkness. her toes remained within the ring of light. Why was she so terrified?
“Victor?” Brenna swallowed the saliva pooling in her mouth. She only needed some reassurance. “I love you. It’s just, it just seems like it’s all happening so fast, and I’m not ready. I need to know you better. I need to know that you’re going to let me into your life as much as I’ll let you into mine.”
Having a conversation with the empty darkness was pointless. Victor wasn’t there, right? Brenna felt like she was being watched, but she’d felt the same way in Dr. Kilpatrick’s house when ravens kept an eye on her. It could have been any raven of the Congress or some other being.
Still, Brenna hoped against hope that her princes could see her and hear her.
“I’ve missed you,” Brenna admitted,
sounding hollow. “You have no idea how sorry I feel about what happened. We’re just from two different cultures, you know? And we’ve got to adjust to one another.”
The darkness didn’t reply, nor did it look away.
“And that’s not a bad thing.” Brenna’s speech was rambling now, and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. “All it means is that we’ve gotta take time to be transparent with each other. We’ve got to do our best to make sure that the other one knows what’s going on in our head, and what’s expected of them.”
Brenna wrung her hands, wondering if it was all a waste of breath.
"I don't understand how I'd fit into your world, into the royal family, I mean. I'm not sure the other ravens, I mean Corax, want a human in their midst. And maybe it doesn't matter, but I don't think they understand what you see in me."
Why would the princes have drawn her here if they didn’t want to talk?
“And in the end, we both want the same thing. We need to decide on the path we’ll take to get there. I want to go slowly, and you… you don’t. That’s not bad. It just means we have to put our heads together and figure it out, right? I’m sorry that I got uncomfortable and told you I needed space. We can talk this out. We can work on our communication.”
Brenna wasn’t sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her, or if she actually saw movement in the darkness. She smiled, at least her speech had moved one of them who was willing to step forward to talk it out.
“We can be happy,” Brenna promised. “We can make a life together. We can raise a family, just as Waldrom said. But… why don’t we give each other time to adjust to life as a couple? No not a couple, whatever a foursome is called. We need to adjust to each other's values, customs, and cultures? There’s no need to rush.”
There was a movement in the shadows, but it didn’t belong to a prince or any corax. From the corner of her eye, Brenna saw as a shadowy tendril forced its way out of the darkness like a tongue pushing through bubblegum. Gasping, Brenna turned to face it.
Ravens_Sons of Olympia_Reverse Harem Romance Page 12