“You must kiss me, Alice. True love’s kiss will set us both free.” There was a freneticism to him that scared me a little. He really did believe what he was saying. I could see that, and it made me sad.
What had happened to this man? Or had he always been this mad, and I’d simply never realized it before? Our only other interaction had been so very brief I’d not had a chance to study him. All I could vividly remember had been the beauty of his words and his dark, beguiling eyes.
And from that short meeting, I’d built an idea of a man who did not exist. Not really. Not the way I’d imagined him to be at all. He’d been fantasy. A fairy tale. A white knight. Not a broken man who could not tell fact from fiction.
But then I recalled his beautiful miniature people. The lovely woman built of moss and magic; she’d seemed so in love with her man of ice. So happy. Their life had been a good one. And I envied her, even now. I wanted so badly for that life to truly be real, be mine. Ours.
But it wasn’t. It never had been.
“Hatter?” I said his name slowly.
A pained expression crossed his face, and I think he knew, think he heard my truth. I did not know him, not really. And though a part of me ached because of it, I couldn’t pretend either.
His hold on me grew lax, and suddenly the weight of the world seemed to rest upon his shoulders. He visibly seemed to shrink in front of me. Not literally, but figuratively.
He was a man come to the end of all hope.
“I will kiss you, Hatter, and I will save you,” I said, not at all sure I really could, but I couldn’t bear to see him looking like this. “But first I want to ask my last question.”
He blinked, but there was no more hope left in his eyes. They were bleak and shadowed with pain. “Ask me anything.”
“Where were you when I was dying and called out to you? Did you even hear me at all?”
He sucked in a quick breath, shaking his head no, and though he said nothing, what he did say was enough to make me feel a sharp blade of pain pierce my chest.
I grabbed hold of my shirt, clutching so tight I pinched skin between my fingers. But the pain was grounding; it helped clear my mind just enough so that I could focus.
“You were with another, weren’t you? You never heard my cries.”
The answer was so obvious, and though I didn’t know him, that same dark pull deep within me that always came alive whenever I was with him shriveled up and died. I’d had no claim to him in this life, and yet I felt betrayed.
My lips wobbled, and I sniffed back the anguish. Outwardly, I was calm, but inside I was cold, dead.
Plastering on a brave smile, I wiped at my nose with the back of my hand and gave him a lopsided grin. “Now, about that kiss. Let’s save you.”
I was leaning in, but this time it was he who pulled back.
Shaking his head slowly, he said, “No. Not this way. I would rather die a thousand deaths than live another day knowing you did not love me as I love you. Yes, Alice, I was with another. And it pains me to admit that, because I did not know you. And I did not hear you until the very end. Let us always meet each other with a smile...”
I pulled in a halting, stuttering breath, fingers shaking as they covered my suddenly numb lips.
“...for a smile is the beginning of love.” The smile he gave me now was small and soft.
He had heard me. And while I was grateful he’d told me the truth, a part of me wished that had been one truth he’d kept to himself. I wasn’t sure I could hear another word right now. A fat tear dripped off my chin to the ground beneath. I needed to run and hide, needed to lick my wounds in private. And hope that maybe, someday, I could get over him. Move on with my life, or my afterlife as it were.
But I’d be damned if I let him die.
“Hatter, you say a kiss can save you. Then let me do that for you. I don’t know that we could ever be what you claim we once were. All I do know is that I’d be a terrible person if I let you die now.”
“Alice.” He gripped my hands tight in his. “What do you love most in this world?”
The questions. That stupid bloody game. Here I sat with my heart torn to bloody ribbons, not sure of anything other than the fact that the man I’d loved with all my heart and soul had heard me and not come.
I had no right to the jealousy I felt, but I was only human, and it was going to take me time to get over this horrible feeling of betrayal.
Answering with all the honesty in my heart, I said, “I don’t know anymore.”
“Alice, can you ever forgive me? Please tell me that you and I can move past this? Please tell me that. You promised me you’d fight, so fight. Fight, Alice!”
The passionate plea caused me to tremble, but I could no more remember those words than I could remember anything else he swore to me was real. What had happened to this man to make him lose himself this way? I cried for him. For us. For what we might have been.
“The problem is, Hatter, I cannot remember any life with you. You didn’t come to me, and you were with another woman. And I know I shouldn’t take that personally, because we have never been anything to each other—”
“Yes, we have! All I’ve said is true. All of it.”
“The problem is—” I sniffed and finally gave in to my need to touch his jaw. His skin was so cold, and he trembled beneath my touch, and I didn’t know anything about anything anymore. I felt lost and scared and so damned confused about it all.
“The problem is, I just don’t remember a life with you, and I never will. Maybe if you’d come, maybe we could have built something then, but you are a living, and I am nothing but a ghost with form.”
“But you can follow me out, Alice. Hades has promised. As long as you believe in me. In us.”
My smile was sad. “I’m not sure I do anymore.”
Dropping my hands and closing his eyes, he nodded only once and seemed to curl in on himself, as though my words had been a physical blow to him. And I hated to hurt him as I had, but I was simply being honest.
He sat so still for so long that I felt awkward and unsure.
I would return to him, and I would give him the kiss of true love. Because I knew that was what burned deep inside me, whether I wanted it to or not. I could only hope that someday I’d be able to forget him entirely and be happy again. And he me. I would return later and slip him that kiss, his death would not be on my conscience.
“Good-bye, Hatter,” I said slowly.
Rising to my knees, I looked down upon his head, wishing for just a moment that I could run my fingers through his hair. But instead I curled my hand into a ball and gave a hard nod at his continued silence. Then, turning on my heel, I called forth the power of my bird and flew as far and as fast away from him as I could.
Chapter 16
Danika
“Just let him try to keep me out!” I snarled, breaking every godmother code in existence as I forced my way through the underworld.
Slamming open the bony gates to be greeted by that mangy, slobbering beast, I was half tempted to place a killing curse on him.
“Oh, do shut up!” I snipped, then walloped Cerberus with a thick ball of magic so powerful it caused his massive body to instantly seize up and drop to the ground, all three heads fainting dead away.
And then the whole of the underworld shook and trembled. A giant rift tore open in the ground beneath me, and out spewed a magnificent chariot of ebony, led by horses whose hooves caused the earth to rumble with thunder from each strike of their legs to land. Red, glowing eyes of monsters looked down upon me as giant curls of steam rolled through their velvety snouts. But it wasn’t the steeds that caused me to square my shoulders and lift my wand in a threatening manner, rather it was the massive wall of underworld god staring down upon me with murder clear in his almost neon-blue eyes.
“Fairy,” he spat. “How dare you.”
“Before you smite me or do whatever it is you’re thinking of doing, I want to remind you of one thi
ng, Hades. Your success hinges on their own.”
He smirked, staring at me so long that I suddenly felt the need to quiver. I never quivered. I clamped down on my teeth, showing no outward sign of my nerves.
“Your kind. It was all of you. All this, it’s because of you.”
Galeta was not here to defend herself, and I would no more throw her under the bus than I would anyone else, so I notched my chin and gave him my most hateful look.
I was no more pleased with this new life than he was, but he didn’t have to be such a giant, unmitigated ass about it either.
“Undo whatever curse your people have wrought,” he commanded, and I felt the power of his words shiver like quicksilver through my blood.
“Oh, believe me, if I could I would. But there is no magic cure for this. The only way to fix this, any of this, is to simply shut up and do it. I’ve sent a ball of true love here.”
He chuckled. “I found it.”
Swallowing the sudden greasy ball of fury that wanted to spew off my tongue, I reminded myself that I would get nowhere with this officious arsehole if I gave in to my anger.
“You must release it, release that magic, Hades. You can’t stop true love, you must know that.”
“And you know that there was to be no outside interference. If he is to succeed then he must—”
Forgetting my admonishments of just a moment ago, I stomped my foot and snapped, “Damn you, man! What the hell has happened to you? You are nothing like you once were.”
Fire flashed through his eyes, and for just a second, I was prepared to battle for my life, but then he went absolutely still, not even batting an eyelash as he asked, “You knew me? Then? How?”
“Because you weren’t such a rotten bastard then. Aye, I knew ye. Most of Kingdom did. Aphrodite didn’t lie to you, Hades. You did love Calypso, and she loved you with a passion that rivaled insanity. You have a granddaughter who still lives—”
“What!” he thundered, eyes flashing with sparks of lightning, and blue flame suddenly curled outward from the scabbard attached to his hip. “How is that even possible? I have no children.”
“I don’t know,” I said sadly, going from loathing him to feeling pity for a god. What had the world come to that I could feel pity for someone as powerful as death himself? “None of this makes sense to me either. But she lives. And her name is Fable. She is trapped inside a curse flung by the hand of your own wife.”
“No.”
I knew that should Galeta find out what I was doing here today, or for that matter what I was telling Hades, she’d probably be in a right fury. I shivered. I didn’t fear the dark lord half as much as I did the queen of the fae.
I remembered the Galeta of the other life, and she’d been a demon spawned of hell. But I was desperate.
“Yes, Hades. It is as I say. And if there is any part of you that even remotely cares right now, then you must release that orb to them. It is the only way to fully restore her memories. Hatter’s story could only do so much. Alice is scared and cannot suss fact from fiction. You must release my orb.”
I didn’t plead. But I was now. I was on my knees, gripping my fingers tight, begging with wetness glowing in my eyes, knowing I made myself weak before him. But my pride was the very least of my worries now.
I’d given up everything, any chance I had of recovering my Jericho, to save those two. Voice cracking, I said, “You have no idea how much I’ve sacrificed. Please, Hades, don’t let my gift be in vain.”
Looking confused, upset, and even lost, he flicked his fingers, and I felt a great rush go through me. The orb had her wings back, and she was headed like a falling nova toward Alice’s heart.
Hanging my head, all I could whisper was, “It is done.”
~*~
Alice
One second I was back in my nest, and the next I was snatched up violently by an unseen hand and shoved through a portal full of starlight and colors.
Magic fisted me tight in its powerful vise, and my body raged with a rush of fire. My clothing altered, turning from jeans and a shirt to a gown so rich and brocaded it seemed like something out of a fairy tale.
And on the breeze rushing through my ears rang the words, “Listen with your heart, Alice. All will be revealed, just open your heart and trust him...”
Chapter 17
Hatter
There were no words to describe the misery that pinched every nerve in my body, that stole the very life and breath from my lungs at her rejection.
I remembered two worlds in my mind.
One full of emptiness, a stretching of eternity into nothingness, a duty I’d thought I’d needed to fulfill. I’d become so jaded, immune to love. Just an actor playing a role, that of a dutiful lover when I’d felt nothing for Other Alice any longer.
But knowing all I did now.
Having Danika finally show me the truth of who I was and who my truest love was... I clung to my other memories. The only ones I considered true anymore.
I’d been living my life in a daze, in a canvas painted in a watercolor of grays. My real life had been with my Alice in another world, another time.
Twisted, fantastical, and absurdly wonderful memories of a woman who was not only my soul but my life, the beating epicenter of all that I was and all I’d ever be.
Our shared nights of passion.
Laughter.
The madness of our realm that she’d loved as much as I did.
Lost in those moments, I wasn’t at first aware of her presence until a hesitant touch upon my shoulder caused me to look up.
When her gaze met mine, I felt the weight and brevity of our time together. I’d been wrong to let her leave me before. I had only hours left. I would fight. To the very bitter end, I would fight.
She opened her mouth, and I held up my finger. “Don’t. Don’t say anything. Alice, I know I have no right to ask you for any favors.” I stared into the soulful eyes of my beloved, and with a shattered heart asked her only one thing. “But before you leave me for good, may I play for you?”
Gods, she was lovely.
I wasn’t sure when she’d changed from out of her clothes of before and into a dress my Alice would have surely worn. It was made of silk black taffeta and ruffles, and my heart squeezed violently to see her shapely body painted in it.
She had black fingerless lace gloves that ran up to her elbows, a dark scrollwork of art beneath her eyes and upon her cheeks, undulating upon her flesh with a life all its own. Upon her head sat a jaunty little black hat. My gothic rose, the only woman of my heart. There’d never be another for me.
“Alice?” I asked, looking her up and down in surprised shock.
She shrugged, wrinkling her cute little button nose. “I don’t know. I was caught up in a whirlwind a little bit ago, and when I stepped out, you were here and I was dressed like this.”
Looking down at herself, she gave an embarrassed shrug.
“Never be embarrassed, my love. You look beautiful.”
She didn’t look at me, but her lips twitched with pleasure. There was something different about her now. And I wasn’t sure what this whirlwind was that’d caught her up. All I knew was there was magic at work here.
I felt the taste and touch of it all around me.
I would perish without her, but not before I showed her how I truly felt.
The mood was electric, the tension between us taut as a bowstring.
“Hatter, I don’t know that I sho—”
“I’m not asking for forever anymore, Alice, only that you allow me to show you what I truly feel.”
“You’ve told me everything. I’ve heard it. I know... I know you loved me once. In another life. Another time, and maybe... maybe someday I might believe it.” Her voice cracked. “But the misery that comes from loving you, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to bear it again. Maybe the magic that you say separated us is for the good. Maybe we were only supposed to be a short-lived but intense bit of passion. But it�
�s gone now, Hatter. And I do thank you for helping me want to live again, for showing me I could be more than all this—” She gestured to the underworld surrounding us.
The snowy hills were long gone. Now the land lived, kissed by spring, and my heart ached at the thought that I might never again get to enjoy a life of endless wonder and magic with her again.
But no matter what happened to me here, I knew she would survive. Not only survive, but thrive. Alice would be okay.
Grabbing her hand, I clenched it tight, wrapped my long fingers around her delicate ones, clinging with all my might as I pressed our hands to my heart, looking so deep into her dark, exotic eyes that she had no choice but to stare back into mine. Our gazes locked, and our hearts beat as one.
How could she not remember me? After all this? After all the talks. After the magic we’d worked together? Why would those memories not surface? My soul ached, and a yawning chasm of desolation began to spread through my bones.
Because I’d forgotten her once too.
That damn magic had ripped us apart, and I’d never even batted a lash. I wet my lips, and she mimicked my movements.
Our love was trapped within her. And just as Danika had helped me to see mine, I knew with every fiber of my being that I could do the same for her. If she would only let me.
And then I knew. The taste of this magic. It wasn’t mine or Alice’s. It was another’s. And it was intensely powerful.
Danika had given the very last bit of herself to us, her final gift as my fairy godmother. My soul trembled at the thought of just how much she’d sacrificed to make this happen.
What this meant now was that I had a chance. A very real chance.
Alice’s caramel-colored skin beckoned my fingers to touch. My knuckles ached and tingled with the burning need to brush them down her velvety smooth cheek.
I swallowed hard.
“Say yes, my Alice. Say yes. Only once. And then...” I closed my eyes as the tears that’d burned inside them began to slide slowly down. “If you still say no, I will let you go. Forever. You would be free. Free of me and this strange land that has hurt you so deeply.”
The Mad King Page 15