by Marie Skye
I smiled. "Thanks, Grayson. I leaned over the console to give him a hug. "It's about time," I whispered to him. "No one loves her as much as you do. And I know you'll take good care of her."
He shook his head slightly. "I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm damn sure not letting her go." He looked up, and pointed. "I think Hawkins is staking his claim."
I shyly smiled as my door was opened, and Hawkins’s hand grabbed mine, helping me out. He nodded at Grayson, then held me close as we walked through the lobby and toward the elevator. He looked me over closely, not saying anything, until we reached my apartment.
"Are you sick?"
I wrapped my arms around myself, and looked down at my feet. "No."
He stepped closer. He had a slight frown on his face, and it was only then, I noticed a small bag, at his side. "I brought you soup just in case." He held the bag up, setting it on the kitchen table.
"I'm not that hungry." I turned to walk away, but he grabbed me first.
His gaze pierced mine. “What’s going on?”
I gave him my best smile. The one I did for my family, that always passed. “Nothing, I’m great.”
He frowned, as he looked me up and down. “How about you try again, and this time don’t lie to me.”
I sighed, as I stared down at my hands. “I think I’m just tired. It’s been a long day. It was busy.”
He nodded. “Okay, well why don’t you take a hot shower, relax your muscles, and I’ll make you some tea.”
I smiled. “That actually sounds good.” He gave me a chaste kiss, as I went and started the shower, and focused on washing away the day’s drama. Blake showing up, and trying to get into my head. I felt myself starting to relax under the spray.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I was startled to see Hawkins in my bedroom, peering over my things. He turned when I walked in, and held up the mug of tea, setting it down on my nightstand.
"I didn't really get a good look at your room, the few times I've been here."
I smiled as I stood near the door watching him linger. My room was hella small compared to his. I watched as he studied the few pictures I had on my dresser. He gave a small smile as he carefully touched one, before moving onto the next item. He paused at the guitar in the corner, before carefully picking it up, and turning to me. "You play?"
I nervously swallowed, and played with the belt on my robe. "Yeah," I whispered out. "Sometimes."
The corner of his mouth turned up in a grin. "How much is sometimes?"
I cleared my throat, not wanting to make eye contact. "Whenever I get the chance. At least two hours a day."
He looked impressed as he glanced back at the guitar. I stepped forward, taking it from him. "I missed the last few days." I put the guitar back in the corner, where I kept it hidden. "Someone had me occupied."
He pulled me to him. "Well, I would say I'm sorry, but that would be a lie." We both got into my bed, and he gently handed me my tea.
"I can't believe Grayson is finally popping the question."
Hawkins sighed. "I know. The man has been on edge the past week trying to get everything in order, all the while keeping Emmalin in the dark. He's hot headed, everything has to be perfect. Otherwise, you're on the end of his wrath. And trust me. I make it a point never to be on the end of Grayson's wrath.”
I set my cup down, snuggling closer. "Emmalin handles him pretty well."
Hawkins yawned, pulling me in tighter. "She's the only one that can." He turned toward me. "But enough about them. I want to talk about us." He motioned between us, and I bit my lip holding back a smile. "You withdrew from me today. At least it felt like you did. Am I wrong about that?"
I sighed, and started to pull myself from him, but he held me firm, and grasped my face to look at him. He looked at me, as if he would wait all night for my answer.
"You weren't wrong," I finally whispered out. His grip loosened. "I think...I think I was confused." He brushed my hair back from my face, and I took a deep breath, and smiled. “But I’m fine now. I promise, it was just a long day, and I think I was overwhelmed.”
He sighed. “This might be all happening a bit fast for the both of us. I didn’t even think about how you would feel about it. We pretty much jumped into it, didn’t we?” He pulled me closer. “Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know that I like you. A lot.”
Hawkins was way different than Blake. In fact, there was nothing about them that was similar. Blake, barely showed any affection towards me. If he did it was rare, and always seemed forced. I wasn’t allowed to have any problems, that would disturb him. His priorities were his family, school, and anything that had to do with a video game console. But Hawkins. Hawkins, makes me see the world. He makes me proud to be who I am. I smiled. “I like you, too.”
He laid us both back. “So, we agree then. We like each other. We want to be with each other. I think we’re good.”
* * *
“So, when are you leaving again?”
I stretched before taking my apron off. “In the morning. We’re going to be there I think a day or two before Grayson and Emmalin arrive.”
“Damn, that’s so cool. Well, be sure to have lots of fun, and I’ll see you when you get back, hun!”
“Will do, Sheerah. Give that baby a kiss for me.”
I grabbed my things, eager to meet up with Hawkins later. He was going over a few last-minute details with work, so I was on my own for the night, which was fine with me. He offered to give me a key, so I would be in his bed waiting for him when he got home, and as tempting as that was, I declined.
I figured a key was too soon. I was making sure I had everything packed in my suitcase when there was a knock at my door. I smiled. Maybe he got off early anyway. I did a quick check in the mirror, and bounced to the door, opening it with a big smile.
That smile grew wider at the huge bouquet that greeted me. I started to step forward, and faltered when the bouquet lowered, and my eyes widened at who was behind the fresh cut flowers. Blake.
“What are you doing here?”
“Do you like them?” He didn’t even wait for me to invite him in. He pushed past me, into my apartment. I sighed, turning to face him, crossing my arms. My defenses were high.
I watched as he walked into the kitchen placing them on the kitchen table, fluffing the flowers as if it was an ordinary thing. No. More like he lived here.
I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here?”
He walked over to me. He reeked of scotch. I hated scotch, because of him, and I shuddered at the smell. “Is that how you greet someone? Let alone thank them for the flowers they just bought you?” He motioned toward the flowers. “These were over two hundred dollars, Gwen. A little appreciation would do you some good. Surely you didn’t forget your manners in the time we’ve been apart?”
His tone was condescending. I hated when he was like this. He was mocking and belligerent. He stepped even closer, as I backed into the wall. “I said, show your appreciation, Gwen.”
I swallowed. “Thank you,” I whispered.
He suddenly smiled, as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re welcome. There, now was that so hard?” He turned back to the flowers, fluffing them a bit more, before taking a seat.
He took that moment to gaze around my apartment, while I stood off to the side. “It’s quaint. I suppose this was all you could afford after you moved out.”
“I like my place. It may not look like much to you, but it’s mine.”
He smirked as he loosened his tie.
“Look, I didn’t invite you here, so you need to go. In fact, I don’t want you around anymore.” I started for the door.
“I agree. That’s what I came to tell you. Seeing you the other day was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it, and the things I said could’ve been taken out of context.”
I didn’t care, I just wanted him gone. In fact, I didn’t care if he meant for a string of unicorns to be
at his newborn baby’s birth. He just needed to leave. I reached the door, and jumped as his hand slammed it shut.
“Why are you so jumpy? I wasn’t done talking to you.” He turned me around quickly, slamming me against the door, causing my head to hit, and I winced.
He slightly frowned, digging his hand into my hair. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to be so rough with you. It’s just…you didn’t want to listen to me.”
I worked on calming my breathing. I couldn’t let him see how scared I was. He was only acting this way because of the scotch. It was always because of the scotch. That’s when he scared me the most, always had.
“My…my boyfriend will be here any minute.” I tried sounding sure and confident as I spoke.
He smiled sardonically at me, as he gripped my arms, and I gasped from the tightness. “You’re nothing to him. That’s what you’ll always be. Nothing. He can’t give you what I can give you.” He squeezed tighter and I yelled out.
“You’re hurting me!” I tried struggling to get him off, but whenever he was in this state of mind, I was powerless.
He suddenly let go and stepped back, as if realizing what he was doing. I wrapped my arms trying to soothe where he hurt me. His eyes widened.
“I didn’t mean it, Gwen. I promise. You know how I get when I have a bit too much to drink, I didn’t mean it. You know, that, right? Tell me you know that?”
I flinched as his voice raised. “I believe you,” I whispered.
He softly smiled, and caressed the side of my face. “I did love you, Gwen,” he said gently. “I did, and I’m going to make it up to you. I promise. I will make it up to you.”
And just like that, he was back to the old Blake. The Blake I knew. The one that wrapped me in. I slowly exhaled.
He frowned as his phone vibrated, and he looked at the screen. He sighed. “It’s Celia.” He held up his phone, and he lightly laughed. “She said we’re out of peanut butter. She’s been craving peanut butter, and probably eats more peanut butter than a family of four.” He typed out a message before putting it back in his pocket. “I should go, but I do want to see you again. Even if it’s just to talk, I feel comfortable just talking to you. We make a great team.”
He leaned in giving me a hug, and a chaste kiss on the cheek. “I do miss you, Gwen. I know I haven’t always shown it, but I do.” He finally moved past me, and left.
I quickly locked the door, and put the chain on the door. I felt myself tearing up, as I ran to the bathroom, and turning on the hot water in the shower. I stripped down. I felt the sudden need to scrub off his touch. I rested my forehead against the tile of the shower.
“You were a bit rough last night.” Blake, didn’t glance up from his laptop. “I didn’t like it. I don’t like when you’re like this. It scares me.”
He shut his laptop with a bang, and stood up so fast, he almost knocked the chair over. He crossed his arms, as he glared at me. “So, I was a little rough last night. Then that’s your problem. You need to learn better to handle it.”
I started to turn, but he reached me and pushed me against the wall, and caged me in. “When I want to fuck, I fuck. Which means you need to always be ready. I don’t give a damn if you want to fuck or not. Who takes care of you?”
I felt tears pricking my eyes, and he banged the wall, so close to my head, I almost thought he would’ve hit me instead. “I said who takes care of you?” he said through gritted teeth.
A tear escaped. If there was anything Blake hated was to see me cry. He also enjoyed it, because he says I’m weak when I cry. “You do,” I whispered out.
“That’s right. I do.” I flinched when he brought his hand up, to brush the tear off. “Just do what I tell you to do, because it satisfies me. If, I want to come home after a long day with work and school, and want to fuck, then you need to be prepared.”
He walked back to his laptop. “Unless, I get some pussy elsewhere of course.” He smiled as he said it, and went back to whatever he was doing on his laptop.
I should’ve left then. I should have gotten up, and went out that door, and never looked back. I wanted to. I thought about it quite a bit after that. I even tried talking to my mom about it, hoping, that for once, she could offer me some advice. When I went to her, she brushed me off before I could even utter a complete sentence.
“He’s the best you’ll ever do Gwenivere. You should be lucky a man is interested in you at all. So, if I were you, I would do everything, and anything he wants to make him happy. Otherwise, it’s you that will suffer in the end. Don’t ruin this.
She always made sure, her advice were words, to hurt me.
I woke to the constant ringing of my phone. I threw my pillow back over my head to muffle the noise out. The ringing finally stopped for a few seconds, before starting back up again. I groaned and pushed the phone off the nightstand. A loud banging sound followed. Was that the front door?
I threw another pillow over my head. Why can't anyone let me sleep? Suddenly I jumped up. Oh crap! I searched the floor for my phone. I had eight missed calls from Hawkins, and thirteen texts.
We had a plane to board.
I ran to the door and swung it open. Hawkins peered at me with his phone in his hand, and a concerned look. I held my hand up, as I shoved my suitcase at him. Luckily, I had packed the night before. "Give me two seconds."
I shut the door, hightailing it to my room, and threw on a sundress, and was about to put my hair in a topknot when I paused as I walked past the mirror. I had bruises on my arms.
"Gwen! You about ready?"
I turned toward Hawkins’s voice, quickly shut my bedroom door, and grabbed a cardigan from the closet, as well as several more. I finally came out, while stuffing them into a bag, and Hawkins was standing in the kitchen looking at the huge bouquet of flowers. Crap, I forgot about those.
His brow was crinkled. "Hey," I said, as I slowly walked into the kitchen.
He motioned toward them. "It's not your birthday. Secret admirer?”
"It's nothing." I headed for the flowers, took them from the table, and dumped them in the trash. I turned toward Hawkins. "I'm ready." I started for the door.
I didn't wait for him to follow me as I headed to the door, making sure my cardigan was on tightly around me. He reached the door first, and held it open for me, then took my keys, and locked it up. He took a moment making sure the new lock he installed was to his standards.
We rode silently for a few minutes to the airport, before he finally spoke.
"Should I be concerned?"
I kept my gaze focused out the window. Yes. Because I think I'm scared. "No."
"If only that sounded convincing.”
My eyes shot to his. I didn't have a rebuttal, because his response was true. I shrank further in my seat. We finally reached the tarmac, to one of two of the chartered planes waiting for us. All of this was unreal to me.
Isabella walked up to our car, waving wildly. The car barely stopped before she opened the door. "Change of plans! All the men are riding in one plane, and all the women are riding in the other."
Hawkins frowned. "Said who?"
"Don't even argue with them, man. I spent the last hour dealing with them, and was already ganged up on by two Mandrake women." Chace came up behind Isabella, pointing his thumb at Grayson's sister, Meredith, and Grayson's mom, who stood not too far away.
We both looked at Isabella who was trying to stifle a grin. Hawkins narrowed his eyes. "Are you fuckin’ with me, man?"
Chace finally smiled. "I at least had you, there, right?" He slapped him on the back. Isabella took my hand leading me away.
"You have some explaining to do. A relationship with Hawkins, and I'm the last to know about it?"
I fake scowled. "A relationship with Chace, and I'm the last to know about it?"
She paused. "Touché."
We made our way onto the plane, and I gawked at everything around me. I’ve been on planes before, but holy crap. This wasn’t
your average plane. The seats were all plush, with each headrest featuring the M monogram. Grayson definitely spared no expense when he was flying high in the sky. This was like a flying hotel.
We settled in our seats, preparing for takeoff. I looked around me, noticing the rest of Grayson’s family weren’t on the plane with us. I looked at Hawkins in confusion. “Where are Grayson’s parents, and his sister?”
“They’re on the other plane. Grayson figured the more privacy the better.”
I frowned, looking around the plane. This plane could easily hold over a hundred people. Chace and Isabella were a couple of rows away. We were able to move around once we were given the okay from the flight attendant. I rested my head on Hawkins’s shoulder. After about thirty minutes, the fasten seatbelt sign went off.
Hawkins looked down at me and smiled. “Do you want anything? Food, anything to drink?” I shook my head. “Do you want to take that sweater off?” He reached for my lapel, and my arms, wrapped around me, and he frowned.
“I’m okay. I get cold easily.” I quickly stood up. “I’m going to stretch my legs a bit.” I felt his gaze on me as I walked away. It’s not like I could go too far. I sat on a sofa not too far away, and peered out the window. A few minutes later, I felt the couch dip beside me. I turned, expecting to see Hawkins. To my surprise, it was Chace.
He held out a glass toward me. “Ice chip?”
I smiled shaking my head, as I pulled my sweater more tightly around me. He shrugged taking a few pieces and popping them in his mouth and chewing away as if they were popcorn. “You eat a lot of ice chips.”
He nodded. “They help.”
I looked at him curiously. “Help with what?”
He was silent so long, I didn’t think he was going to answer me. “The cravings with my former drug addiction.”
My eyes widened at his revelation, before looking down at my hands. After a few seconds, I finally cleared my throat. “I…I didn’t know.”
He finally met my gaze, and shrugged. “It was kept under wraps mostly, but it was getting out of hand, to the point where I had some hard decisions to make.” I watched as he ate a few more ice chips. My attention was briefly diverted to the soft laughter of Isabella, and Hawkins playing a card game. I imagined that this wasn’t something Chace talked about often, so I was willing to absorb as much of this as possible.