by Marie Skye
He stood up frowning. "Where the hell did you get that from?" He stepped closer to me, and I backed up. "No, Gwen. Do not walk away from me. Where did you get that from?"
I took a shaky deep breath. "From you."
His eyes darkened, as a look of confusion passed over his face. "I've never said that."
"The morning, I was joining the girls on the deck at the pool. I left my sunscreen in the room." I took another deep breath, preparing for what I was about to say next. "When, I got to the room, you were on the phone, and I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you." I started to feel the tears pricking my eyes.
He stepped closer, and grasped my face in both of his hands, so I had to look at him. "Heard what, Gwen? Say it."
I shut my eyes briefly as I recalled his exact words. "You said I wasn't the type of person you would want," I whispered. A single tear fell as I said it. His thumb moved to catch the tear, as he slowly nodded.
"Is that all?"
I nodded. "I left after that."
He tsked. "Your ornery girl." He leaned and kissed the tip of my nose. "If you stayed about two seconds longer, you would've heard the rest of that conversation. Yes, I said that you weren't the type of person I would want. But, I also said that you were exactly the type of person that I needed. You're the only one I want, that I'll ever want." He shut his eyes briefly, as if the next words were hard for him. "I've fallen in love with you." He looked at me shyly.
My eyes grew big at his admission.
"I was so angry when you thought I might hurt you. I never want you to think I would lay my hands on you like that. I want to protect you, but you can't keep things from me."
He gently kissed the top of my head, and I fell into him. "That wasn't my mom that called, it was Blake." I felt his body tense. "He's called or texted quite a few times." I felt Hawkins pull back. “He said he needed someone to talk to,” I rushed on.
Hawkins’s nostrils flared, and his hands went to his hips. I could see the anger just pouring out of him, as he shook his head. “No, Gwen. I don’t want you around him. I don’t want you talking to him. He’s dangerous.” He led me to the edge of the bed, and we sat. “I do not want him anywhere near you, and I’ll make sure he doesn’t come anywhere near you. Your protection is my priority, Gwen. You have my word. You have me.”
His sincerity brought a whole new level of emotion through me. I wrapped my arms around him, and he pulled us up against the bed, and he held me against him. “You’re stuck with me, Dove, there’s nothing you can do to change that.”
I smiled into his chest. “I kinda like being stuck with you, too.” I cringed at the fact that I knew I had to tell him the rest. “Those flowers were from Blake, he came to see me..." I didn't even get to finish before he was up, and out the bed.
"He what?! And you're just now telling me?" He started pacing, and I quickly got out of bed
"What are you doing?"
"Did he hurt you?"
"Hawkins, you need to calm down..."
"I asked you a question, Gwen. Did. He. Hurt. You?" Hawkins asked through gritted teeth.
My mouth opened, but no words came out. He didn't hurt me. Sure, he squeezed my hand too tightly, and he said some words, and the bruises on my arms. But that was Blake being Blake. That was him. That was always him. Wasn't it? I wrapped my arms around myself.
"Your silence says it all, Gwen.”
My eyes darted up to his, and I shook my head. “No, he was just being himself. He wanted to talk, and I listened. That’s all. He talked.”
Hawkins stared at the ground, not saying anything. I felt wetness fall on my arms, and I reached up to touch my face. Tears. I was crying. Why was I crying? I quickly wiped them away, and that’s when I saw it. The faint bruise around my wrist. I knew my hand felt a little achy before, but I thought it was from holding a tray wrong. I was wrong. So very wrong. I moved to pull my sleeve down, when another hand reached out and grabbed mine, and lifted my arm back up.
Hawkins stared at my wrist closely, before finally looking at me. “These are finger marks.”
It wasn’t a question.
“I think he was distracted.”
Hawkins shut his eyes. “Don’t make excuses for him, Gwen. You’re used to that, because that’s how he trained you. He warped you to do that.” He cupped my face in his hands. “But not anymore, do you hear me?” His hands trailed down my arms, and I hissed from a sore spot. Before I had time to react, his hands shrugged off my cardigan, and his eyes widened. “Jesus, fuck, Gwen! He did this to you?!”
I felt myself shaking as I jerked away. "It's not what you think," I whispered. Even as I said it, I didn't believe myself. The words felt foreign on my own tongue. And just as quickly everything started to seep in. I shut my eyes as the room started spinning. Or maybe I was spinning. Faster, and faster. Next thing I knew I was falling. Arms reached out and gently caught me. My eyes barely lifted to the speculating eyes of Hawkins. He looked worried as he gazed down at me. I smiled. At least I think I did. But, that's when I realized something. Even though he made me happy. He also made me sad, because now I knew. I didn't deserve him.
Twenty-Seven
Hawkins
“I’ll kill him.”
I’d said those three words at least a hundred times already, and each time I said it, I meant it more and more. After Gwen passed out, she was out the rest of the plane ride home. I took her straight to my apartment.
Garrison peered at me over his shoulder as he assessed Gwen. Since Garrison had medical training, he was the first person I dialed.
“Hawkins, I need you to give me space. I can’t work with you hovering over me so damn closely.”
I took maybe half a step back. I was freaking the fuck out. Garrison rolled his eyes. After a few minutes, he finally turned to me. “She’s fine, she just fainted.”
I scowled, and whispered, “No fucking shit! Why?”
His eyes narrowed as he looked back at her. “I imagine she was a bit overwhelmed by whatever you guys were doing.” He pulled something from his pocket, and I tensed as he waved it over her face a few times. I watched as Gwen’s head rolled a few times before her eyes started to flutter, and she finally opened them fully, and stared at Garrison with fear.
I quickly stepped forward. “It’s okay. He’s a friend.”
Garrison, stood up looking triumphant. “My work is done.” He slapped me on the back before heading out the door.
Gwen covered her face as I sat down next to her. “Hey, you okay?” I gently rubbed her back, and she nodded. It took a few minutes before she finally looked up at me, and then at her surroundings. One minute she was on a plane, and the next she was in my bedroom.
“Do you know where you are?” I handed her a glass of water, which she took graciously, and downed it in seconds.
“Your house?”
I nodding, affirming that fact. “You passed out on the plane, and essentially slept the rest of the flight over. What’s the last thing you remember?”
She rubbed her eyes, and took a minute before finally catching my gaze. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I’m embarrassed. I lied to you, I’ve lied to everyone around me for years, and I’ve always just brushed it aside like it was nothing.”
I brushed the tears that fell from her face. “He will not come near you. No one will come near you, do you understand? He will not lay a hand on what’s mine. I’m handling it from here.”
She looked at me worried. “What do you mean, handling it from here? What are you going to do?”
“That’s not your concern, Gwen. I just need you to trust me on this.” I stood up, and she watched me wide eyed. “Few things are going to change, Gwen, and you’re going to agree to them.”
* * *
She nodded seemingly to agree with that. “Okay.”
“No more contact with him. I mean it, not a single text, anything.”
“Okay.”
I took a deep breath for the next one. “And you’re moving in with me.” I started to walk out of the room, not wanting to wait for her reaction, when I heard her response: “Okay…. Wait, what?”
I smiled, as I headed into the kitchen, with Gwen quickly on my heels. “What do you mean, move in with you?”
I ignored her briefly, as I looked in the fridge, grabbing a container of juice. Not looking at her, I held up the juice carton. “You already said ‘okay’, Gwen, you agreed just now, so what’s the problem?” I finally glanced up at her. Her eyes were still wide as saucers as she stood there.
“Because you said it so nonchalantly!”
I shrugged. “I’m making us something to eat, anything you want? Also, if there’s anything in particular you want grocery wise, just let me know, and I’ll be sure to grab it.” She stood there staring at me, as if I came from another planet. I was enjoying this far too much. I finally sighed walking over to her, pulling her into my arms.
“What’s wrong?”
“I understand you wanting to keep me safe, do you think me moving in with you is a good idea? I don’t want to disrupt your life Hawkins.” Before she could say more, I sealed my mouth over hers.
“Do you remember the first night I took you home?” She slowly nodded, eyeing me curiously. “I wanted to pull a Grayson, and thought about finding a way to get you to move in with me. I’m not saying this is the perfect time, because of the circumstances, but because I fucking love you, and want you in my bed, because I know you’ll be safe there.” I cupped her face gently in my hands. “So, do you agree to that?”
She let out a soft sigh, that sigh that always made my dick hard.
“Okay.”
Twenty-Eight
Hawkins
I’d been watching Blake Conrad for three days now. I knew everything I needed to know about him. Married, with a child on the way, but of course that didn’t derail him from fucking other women. Fucker couldn’t keep it in his pants if he tried. Computer engineer, and worked for one of the top ten software companies in Chicago.
I watched the cocky bastard finally leave his building, just past two in the morning after telling his wife he was working late. He kissed someone that most certainly was not his wife. Exactly how many women was he cheating on his wife with? Fucking asshole. I started following him as he made his way into the car garage. Luckily for me, it was practically empty. Not that, that would've mattered. The garage could've been packed to the rim, and that still wouldn't have stopped me.
He was whistling as if he had just had the best fuck of his life, twirling his keys as he made his way toward his shiny Porsche. He had just clicked the button to unlock it when I raised my pistol and took a shot.
He stopped cold as the driver’s side window of his car shattered, and he let out a high-pitched scream, ducking. I almost laughed at his scream.
He turned around as I casually walked toward him. He eyed the gun in my hands, and instantly held his hands up. "What the fuck, man?"
“You’re lucky I purposely missed your head. I never miss.” I aimed my gun again at the tires on the driver’s side, and the rear, taking them both out before meeting his eyes, and pressing the gun to his temple. "You know who I am?"
He slowly shook his head, he was practically shaking. "Well you're about to find out, fucker. I'm your new fucking best friend, and you're going to get to know me extremely well. See, I have problems with men like you. Men that think it's okay to use, and abuse women. You think that's fun for them, Blake?"
He stood there shaking. I pressed the gun further into his temple and he winced as he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that?"
"No," he grumbled out.
I stepped closer into his space. "You touched my girl. That's where you fucked up.”
Suddenly realization reflected into his eyes, and the fucker had the audacity to smile. “You’re with Gwen. I should’ve known. Tell me, are you jealous?”
My eyes blazed at his fucking question as my fist locked into his jaw, sending him spiraling back into his car. The fact that he had the balls to try and goad someone, with a gun in their hands no less, was almost impressive. Or just really fucking stupid. I took him by the neck and his eyes bulged. It would be so fucking easy to end his life right now. So, fucking easy. His hands clutched at my arms as I squeezed tighter. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught something on the front seat of his car. A little stuffed duck. I felt myself starting to go back.
“Positive? A baby? You and me?”
Rebecca nodded enthusiastically. I jumped up, wrapping her in my arms.
“You’re not mad?”
I looked at her stunned. “Mad? Why would I be mad? We both wanted kids, right?” I watched her face, as she looked a little uncertain before smiling.
“Yeah, it’s just sometimes you’re gone a lot.”
“I know, but this changes things. I’ll take on less missions, I swear it. I want to be here for you and the baby.” I caressed her stomach. “Our baby.”
* * *
This gel is going to feel a bit cold, Rebecca. I smiled down at Rebecca, as the gel was placed on her stomach, and we both eagerly watched the little screen come on. After a few clicks, the doctor finally spoke.
“There it is, your baby.” Rebecca’s eyes gleaned as she looked at the screen.
“Can you tell what it is?”
The doctor shook her head. “Not yet, it’s too soon. Usually when the mother is eighteen to twenty weeks, we can get a better look at the ultrasound to determine the sex. Lucky for you, you’re almost there.”
I furrowed my brow, glancing at the doctor. “What do you mean?”
“Looking at the size of the fetus, you’re about sixteen weeks pregnant.”
I felt my body freeze. After that everything became robotic. I smiled alongside Rebecca, when the doctor handed us the picture of the ultrasound. I said ‘thank you’ at the congratulations, but none of it was real.
As we drove back home, it was quiet. Rebecca was oblivious to my sudden change.
“Did you hear what I said?”
Of course, I didn’t hear what she said. I was too busy replaying the words the physician just told us.
I turned to Rebecca briefly, before focusing back on the road. “What was that?”
She sighed petulantly. “We’re going to need a bigger house, I think our place might be too small. And, I know this kid isn’t even born yet, but it’ll be best to move to a neighborhood with nice schools. I don’t want our children in public schools.”
I phased her out. We finally got home, and I went straight for the bar, pouring myself two fingers of whiskey, followed by two more. I tensed as her arms wrapped around me. “I know a great real estate agent, I can give her a call this afternoon.”
I set my glass down, and turned slowly around. “You’re four months pregnant.”
Her smile diminished only for a second, and she rubbed her stomach. “I know, that’s what the doctor said.” She started to turn, and I grabbed her arm.
“How long?” Her back was still turned to me, and she peered at me over her shoulder.
“How long what?”
“How long have you been fucking around? Did you think I wouldn’t know? That I wouldn’t realize that I wasn’t even fucking here four months ago!”
She started to appear flustered. “Sure, you were, you just don’t remember.”
I grabbed her by the arms. “No, I fucking wasn’t, Rebecca, and you fucking know it! Whose is it, ‘cause it sure as fuck isn’t mine?”
She jerked herself from my grasp, shuddering. “It didn’t mean anything. I was lonely, and scared, and needed someone.” She suddenly pushed me back. “And you weren’t there! I need someone who’s there.”
I backed up, feeling disgusted. “I need to go.”
Go, I did. For two weeks. I needed to think. By the end of the second week, I finally made my decision, that, someway, somehow Rebecca, and I
could work this out. That baby was mine, the moment I saw the ultrasound. Heading home for the first time, I stopped and bought a little stuffed duck for the nursery.
Rebecca was in the kitchen when I finally came back home. It had been two weeks since I’ve seen her.
“Hello.”
Her eyes didn’t meet mine, as she gave me a wave. “Rebecca, we should talk.”
She held up her hand. “There is no baby, Hawkins.”
My eyes widened, as I stepped toward her. “You got rid of it? Rebecca, that wasn’t your decision to make, that was our decision, that was our…” I paused at the word our, even if it wasn’t true. “That was our baby.”
She stared up at me, chin held high. “There’s no baby for you, Hawkins. This baby will be raised by parents, but both of its parents, you just won’t be the other one.” I watched as her eyes took on an almost malicious look. “I need to be with him, he’ll give me my status. I’ll be known in the world, Hawkins, this is big for me. You have to let me have this.”
I looked at her in pure disgust, before turning my back and walking away.
* * *
“Fuck with what’s mine again, and I’ll make sure you feel every agonizing torment, before I steal your last breath.” I jerked him away from me, and turned to walked away. After a few steps, I stopped and turned back to him. “And Blake?” I waited until I had his attention. “Careful who you talk to, it would be a shame if anything happened to that beautiful family of yours.” I smiled callously as I walked away.
* * *
After a quick change into my, regular clothes, I headed straight home. Gwen had been arranging for the movers to have her things brought over.
I looked around at the four boxes in the living room, before finally finding Gwen hanging a few items up in the closet. I looked at her confused. “Where’s the rest of your stuff?”
She turned around, with a hanger in her hand. “What do you mean?”