Breaking Her No-Dating Rule

by Amalie Berlin

  She was just the life raft.

  And that was okay because under any other circumstances she wouldn’t...well, she probably just wouldn’t want to want him. The idea of actually not wanting him was so far removed from what she felt right now that she couldn’t even really picture it.

  He kissed and licked his way down her chest, with detours to kiss and suck. When his teeth scraped her nipple she thought she’d come apart, the growing tension the only thing that held her broken pieces together.

  Even knowing this man was a recipe for betraying herself and her way of life. A gorgeous man with a cause, and standing. And who knew what else? His lifestyle was a complete unknown. He could be the picture of everything she’d hate. But with the way he made her feel she had to consider that he’d still be someone she’d change herself for. Her mother had changed for the love of her father. Even as a child, Ellory had understood that.

  She’d tried to change and make her father love her too—but he still didn’t. He never could, just like Anson never could. She’d never been able to fit into her father’s world, and she couldn’t fit into Anson’s. The best she could manage was a short stay in this twilight zone version of it. The lodge was a deserted island, a bubble away from the rest of the world.

  So he wasn’t really a violation of her resolution. This wasn’t dating. It was sex.

  The desire she felt for him might leave her feeling like a virgin on the cusp, but it was still just sex. Just sex. Much-needed sex, sure, but still... Just. Sex.

  As he kissed and licked his way over her belly to her breasts, the extreme appetite she’d developed for him took over. Lifting her legs, she hooked her big toes into the waistband of his thermal pants and dragged them down, causing his erection to spring free.

  Her toe tracked over a scar on his thigh, which she registered...something to ask about later, when stopping wouldn’t kill her.

  Everywhere his mouth touched her skin became heated. Something she’d never experienced with her past lovers—this need. She ached to the point that the whole thing was becoming unpleasant.

  One hand shot to the side, where she thought he’d dropped the foil packages, and half felt, half banged around on the floor. “Condom...condom.” She panted the word. When he lifted to look at her, there was a question in his eyes.

  “I don’t doubt you’ll remember. And this isn’t a date. And neither of us thinks so, right?” And with her brain functioning at half-power she added, “I’m not supposed to have babies.”

  He reached for one of the condoms she’d pelted him with, bit into the foil, placed it over the head of his shaft and unrolled it with one stroking fist. The bruised knuckles even thrilled her. There was something incredibly erotic about watching his muscled arm complete that motion, and she was never so happy to have massaged someone in her life—gods only knew how this would go if his shoulder still hurt like it had.

  His hands fell onto the mattress at either side of her and he lowered himself until they were pressed together again, his sheathed heat between her legs, though he made no move to enter her yet. “Why aren’t you supposed to have babies?” The words were an effort for him to speak, every one carrying an edge of tension and urgency.

  Had she told him that? “Uh. Well...because I’m not supposed to be alive.”

  She grabbed his head and tugged his mouth back to hers, needing his kisses like she needed air. He pulled back long enough to look at her, a question on his handsome, scruffy, three-day bearded face, but to her relief he didn’t ask. Instead, he reached between them and glided the head of his erection over the little nub begging for his attention, and then drove into her with a single thrust.

  She arched, lifting her hips from the bed, pushing against him in such blatant wantonness she kind of shocked herself, but he wasn’t moving yet—just holding her, pinned by his big body and the frowning concentration in his eyes.

  “Don’t look like that,” she muttered, wiggling her hips again to try and spur him on. “What’s wrong?”

  “You will explain yourself to me after we’re done.” He gritted the words through clenched teeth.

  Ellory groaned then slid her hands down his back to squeeze his clenched butt as he held himself motionless inside her.

  “Say it.”

  “No.” Already flushed and wanting, the heat that stole over her face now was of a very different sort: anger. She was mad at him again. “This is cruel.”

  “Say you will explain it when we’re done or we’re done now.”

  “No.”

  He began pulling away. The madman meant it!

  “Fine,” she growled, now really wanting to hit him. “I’ll tell you but this is blackmail.”

  The savage smile he gave her made her want to hit him even more, but he pressed forward, filling her again and then establishing a rhythm she was too thankful for to remember to be angry.

  Bracing her feet against the bed, she lifted her hips to push at him and he took the hint, rolling with her, letting her be on top. There would be no more withholding anything from her if she was in control.

  She’d just stay sitting up, it was a little bit of distance because he was a big hunky jerk and he didn’t deserve the full-length loving.

  But within a few measly heartbeats she’d leaned down to kiss him again, and his arms locked back around her waist, chaining her to him so tightly that she could feel the instant their heartbeats synchronized. Not every beat, but as they moved it became obvious to her that they were meant to be there together—two heartbeats that overlapped for short intervals that gradually became one thunderous, unified hammering as they built to a climax so fierce and pure she could have cried.

  Ellory believed in fate, and that sometimes things were meant to be. She and Anson, here in this moment, was bigger than her pitiful needs, desires, or resolutions. Their hearts beat together.

  She could only pray hers kept beating when they came apart again.

  *

  The curtains had been drawn before they’d gone to sleep, the extra layer of wind protection also keeping it mostly dark in the room.

  So it wasn’t the light that woke Ellory. It was the foreign sound of the fireplace clicking off. That hadn’t happened since they’d moved into the suite. The wind had been blowing hard enough that the thermostat in the fireplace fought constantly with the wind to keep the room warm.

  But not Ellory. She had a big warm man behind her, wrapping her in heat, and a big warm dog on her feet, keeping them warm.

  Max lifted his head to look at the fireplace, which gave her an opening. She rolled to face the sleeping doctor, who had at some point put his shirt back on. She found the hem and slid her hands inside over the firm male flesh and the crisp tickle of hair against her palms.

  *

  Anson awoke to the feeling of Ellory pushing his shirt up. His chest was bare by the time his mind cleared and he lifted his arms enough to let her push the warm material over his head.

  “I need skin. Why did you put these back on?” she grumbled, her voice just a little bit raspy from sleep. Sexy.

  Just like that, he woke up.

  She nudged him until he rolled to his back and she rolled with him, straddling his hips in a position that reminded him of last night’s activities and made his body respond—intentions forming.

  Wiggling around a little, when she was satisfied with the bare chest-to-chest position, her head turned to press her cheek into his shoulder and her nose up under his chin. “Just so you know, we can have morning sex and it still doesn’t mean we’re dating. We’re still not dating, we’re just comforting each other.”

  “So your resolution is intact?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  He grinned, his hands stroking over her bare back, having not really had the time to luxuriate in her body when they’d been together before.

  The sound of silence cut through the sexy haze settling over his brain. No hissing from the fireplace.

  No wind.

 
No wind!

  Light reflected up onto the ceiling in a pink band above the curtains.

  “The storm...” He rolled her off him immediately and stood up to look out the window. Deep snow, at least five feet, had been dumped on them, but it was calm now and reflected the soft pink hue of sunrise.

  Ellory joined him at the window, pulling her thermals back on. He didn’t look, he was still waiting for his body to catch up with his brain and give up on the idea of sex so soon after it had become ready for it.

  “It’s over?” she asked.

  “We can go back out.”

  *

  Ellory looked toward the brand-new snowsuit laid out like a deflated person-shaped balloon on the sofa. She’d already purchased the thing, not wearing it would be even more wasteful than wearing it. Plus, if she wanted to go out with the team and help look for Jude—which she really did—she’d have to put it on.

  While Anson was on the radio, waking everyone up, Ellory got dressed in her new gear.

  “You have to eat something before you go out there.”

  “The kitchen staff are going to make breakfast now,” he said, turning to look at her by the door. “Where are you going?”

  “I was going to talk to Mira for a minute before we go out.” She said the words casually, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on her meaning until she was actually out with him and he couldn’t...

  “You’re not going.”

  Do that...

  “I want to go.” He should know how badly she wanted to go considering her getting dressed in the new—and worrisomely awesome—snow suit. “I want to help.”

  “I know you do.” He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “But Mira is going to need your help. Chelsea isn’t going to want to leave, but with the snow past, you can get her and Nate to the hospital. Have Mira call for a chopper or maybe another crew to come up. Do they have a snow coach or something here? Multi-passenger? Preferably enclosed. I’d rather keep Nate out of the cold wind as much as possible and Chelsea can’t wear her boots while her toes are swollen.”

  Ellory frowned. “Mira’s a doctor too, you know. She can handle this stuff. Plus she knows how things work here and I don’t. If I come with you, I can maybe get places you couldn’t. I’m smaller.”

  “How big is Jude?”

  Okay, she didn’t know how big Jude was. He could be Anson-sized for all she knew. “Probably bigger than me.”

  “It’s dangerous out there. I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”

  “If I stay with you—”

  “Ellory? I’m not having your life on my hands too. That’s how it is out there. I have to find the one who is lost and keep my crew and Max safe. That’s seven lives on my shoulders. I’m not adding to that weight with one more person who won’t be of any help and who I don’t need.”

  She flinched and hurried out the door before he could say something else negative. No, she didn’t know what she could do, but it was doing something. An extra pair of eyes would be helpful. When she was just here, just waiting for them to return, it had been bad enough when she hadn’t even known him.

  *

  Even when someone was as on the ball as Mira was, it took time to ready the snow carriage to transport patients down the mountain. If they waited until tomorrow the workmen would’ve had time to inspect the cables leading from the resort down to the town, but just jumping into an aerial carriage and hoping for the best would’ve been colossally stupid after the couple days they’d had.

  Since Mira was doing the organizing, she waited with Chelsea. “How are you doing?” She dragged a chair up to Chelsea’s wheelchair and sat, offering a hand should the woman need some support.

  “Bad,” she admitted, and then took Ellory’s hand. “I know that I need to go to the hospital, and Nate needs to go too—we probably all need checking over, but I want to stay. Even with the power situation as it is, I just want to be here for the instant that they find him.”

  Her hand felt dry and tight, still chapped and rough from her time in the storm. Spotting a bottle of lotion across the room, Ellory stood and went to get it. She made a conscious decision not to check the chemicals, poured some into her hands and set about rubbing it into Chelsea’s hands, working the muscles as she went.

  “I pray that they find him today, but if they don’t, we’ll make sure you get regular updates.”

  “Regular updates?” Mira said from behind her, having entered quietly. “Absolutely. I’ve got my cell and I will call your hospital room several times a day to keep you up to date.” She gestured to what Ellory was doing and asked, “Almost done?”

  “Yes, just rubbing the lotion in. Are we ready to go?”

  “They’re out plowing the lot now and someone shoveled a path to the snow carriage, so we can go as soon as we’re ready.”

  *

  Anson had a plan, but he didn’t have a good feeling about it. Normally, out on the mountainside, doing his job, he felt peace. There was purpose to it, the extreme focus and need to push himself cleared his mind of anything else. Even the cold air he breathed exhilarated him.

  Today every breath burned, both going in and out. Which was how he knew it was in his head and not him coming down with whatever Nate had been ignoring for his ski vacation.

  There was no thrill from zipping around the mountainside on his snowmobile, though he usually loved it. Snowmobiles triggered avalanches easily, and because the day before the snow front had arrived had been sunny and warmer than usual, it had weakened the snow supporting the thick, deadly mantle they were all riding around on. Even without them making any mistakes or pushing any limits, that layer of snow could slip at any time.

  Six people on his crew meant he had enough to split up in to three teams and work on the buddy system, driving far enough apart that if the ground started to slip it was less likely that both searchers would be swept away in the snow, and all were wearing locator beacons in case the worst happened. Even Max had one on his collar.

  Anson looked behind him in the mirror again and caught sight of his buddy, and then Max’s big head filling up the rear view, panting in that way that looked like a smile.

  Having the Newfoundland with an insanely talented nose made their searching easier.

  Anson stopped outside South Mine, got one of Jude’s shirts from a plastic bag he carried, and opened Max’s cage. By the time his search buddy reached him, Max was already snuffling the shirt and taking off for the mine. Both rescuers grabbed their lights and followed him inside, but the dog didn’t stay.

  Jude wasn’t in there.

  He sniffed in a circle in the entrance, and then headed back outside to sniff the air, looking for an air trail to follow.

  The wind was blowing from the northwest—the direction of the lodge—and Max got nothing. No excited yips that would indicate he’d found a trail.

  Anson pulled his radio off his belt and called it in. “Search team one at South Mine. It’s clear.”

  The radio crackled and it became immediately clear that Ellory was still considering herself part of the search, even if he hadn’t let her come out.

  “What does that mean? Where are you going now? Did Max pick up which way to go from there?”

  She didn’t even know how to use a radio properly.

  “No, he didn’t. Would’ve been hard considering the storm, hard winds and deep snow.”

  “Oh.”

  He heard the disappointment in her tone. And since he’d already disappointed her once today he added, “If he found a scent, it would probably mean Jude was outside in the snow, and that would be bad news. The other teams are going by foot through the woods to try and pick up his trail where we couldn’t search. And to hit the cave between. We’re going northeast.”

  “But that’s away from the lodge.”

  “I know. I’ll call when we’ve reached the next stop.”

  He ended the communication and stashed his radio again, getting Max back into his cage to go.<
br />
  He’d probably given her false hope. If the other two teams didn’t find Jude where the snowmobiles had been unable to travel, it was unlikely they’d find him alive. Everything else was outside the direction he should have traveled, which was why they were heading off in the wrong direction.

  That’s where he and his mother had gotten lost: Down the wrong side of the mountain.

  CHAPTER TEN

  TWILIGHT HAD ENDED thirty-seven minutes ago, which meant it was officially dark. So dark Ellory could probably see the Milky Way if she looked long enough.

  They were supposed to stop searching when it got dark. It was a rule. The other two teams that made up Anson’s crew had returned to the lodge, but he and Marks? Still. Not. Back.

  Ellory didn’t need to ask why they weren’t back yet. Anson was pushing it to the last possible moment in order to find the missing skier. Or past the last possible minute...

  Because they hadn’t found even a trace of Jude. Yet. Yet, yet, yet. She mentally scolded herself for her pessimistic thinking. As angry as she’d gotten while waiting for them to return—and being mad at Anson again just underscored the fact that they were incompatible—she knew Anson would be beating himself up more than she could ever stand to do.

  With the snow that had fallen the risk of avalanche was incredibly high. The teams had managed to trigger two different small slides today without getting trapped in them, which was why they didn’t bring in a helicopter for air searching yet. They’d been lucky that the slides had happened in areas where there weren’t caves or mines where Jude could be hiding.

  Headlights bouncing off the blue night-time snow told Ellory they were back, and no one else would have to say boo to him about being out there after dark. She was going to confront his handsome and well-toned ass, and she didn’t even like the idea of it.

  In her new suit—which she loved even more after a couple weeks of Colorado winter in equatorial clothing, she stayed inside the breezeway leading to the lobby, opening the outer doors from the inside when Max got there, and then again when the bipeds caught up.