Winston looks up at me, as if he’s wondering why I’m holding him back from the crazy looking girl with the knife.
“I’ll check around,” Wade says. “There has to be someone else here with her.”
As Wade turns away, Masana lets the knife drop from her hand. “No one,” she says. Her voice is scratchy and hoarse. “Just me.” She puts out her hand. “Can I play with your dog?”
Winston starts for her again, pulling out of my grasp. After the second tug I let him go. He licks her hand and then nudges himself into her arms. It doesn’t appear as though she’s going to hurt him and he doesn’t act as if he’s in danger, but I keep a close eye on them just the same.
MJ shakes his head in disbelief. “That can’t be right,” he says. “She couldn’t have done it by herself.”
“I was with Deja,” she says, talking about the African-American girl who played the flute. “We ran away together.”
“Where is she?” Ms. Burgess asks. “Tell us where she is now.” Ms. Burgess’ voice cracks.
I stare into Masana’s eyes, which go from wild to sorrowful. And that’s when I know what happened to her. I cover my ears, trying not to hear what Masana has to say. But I do anyway.
“They got her. They got her in Tennessee.”
“Wh…who?” Ms. Burgess asks.
“Ms. Burgess,” MJ says. “We don’t need to hear it.”
“But there were survivors,” she says, her voice rising. “There are other children out there and they’re coming here.”
Wade puts a hand on Ms. Burgess’ shoulder. “You can’t stay here and neither can Masana.”
She clasps her shaking hands together. “But…the children. I can save them.”
“What are the odds of their being others? Masana is a one-in-a-million miracle, Ms. B. It’s not safe and you know it.”
“No, no, no,” she repeats over and over again, seeming not to want to believe what MJ is telling her.
MJ pulls Ms. Burgess into his arms, where she melts and begins to cry. A sound so sorrowful it makes my heart twist.
I hold out a hand to Masana. “Time to go.”
Masana assesses me before she finally stands and comes to me. “I was waiting for someone to come and find me. I thought I would die here,” she whispers.
“Have you gone home?” Wade asks.
Her lips tremble. “I went there first.”
A strong hand clasps my shoulder. Even without looking, I know it’s Jason. There’s a crackle that fires against my skin whenever he touches me. I place my hand over his and rest my cheek against it.
I allow for just a few seconds of warmth and joy before I straighten and move away from his grasp.
“We have to split up now,” Wade says. “It’s getting late. Masana can come with us since we’re meeting up at my house anyway.”
Masana nods. I give her one last hug before I release her to Ms. Burgess. I’m sure she has plenty of stories to tell, but until she feels like opening up, they are hers to keep.
Although we plan to only separate for a couple of hours, that doesn’t stop us from passing out hugs. Ms. Burgess is crying. I know she’s so afraid that something will happen to us, but I don’t think anything will. We’ve come this far, we can survive a few more miles.
I think one of the hardest things to do is to turn around and walk in the opposite direction from the people who have been like my family for what seems like an eternity.
“Sinta!”
I turn to see Wade trotting toward me. When he reaches me, he pulls on my sleeve, ushering me off to the side. “I wanted to speak to you alone.”
“Don’t worry about us,” I start. “I know Ms. Burgess is a little nervous, but we’ll be fine.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not that. I just wanted to tell you…well…I don’t know…”
I put a hand on his arm. “We didn’t come this far to get caught. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
Without warning and catching me completely off guard, his strong hands cradle the back of my head, angling me up and forward. Catching a breath, I hold onto it, too afraid to breathe as he gently presses his lips against mine. I part my lips and welcome him.
His tongue invades my mouth. Instinctively I meet it with mine, circling, dancing, exploring. As if having a mind of their own, my arms lift and wrap around his neck. His arms wrap around my waist and draw me close. I melt against him without a fight. His hand presses firmly against my back, rubbing me.
As he draws away from me, I open my eyes. His grey eyes search mine intently.
“I’ll see you in a few hours, Sinta Allen.”
I nod, because talking right now isn’t something I can do. I wasn’t expecting a kiss from Wade Hill would make me have that kind of reaction.
We’re only supposed to be friends.
He turns to trot away, leaving me to watch him.
Mia tugs on my arm, pulling my attention away from him. “Umm…I didn’t see that coming. But it’s time to go.”
“Right.” I do everything I can to avoid looking at Jason. He’s watching me. I can feel his eyes boring through me. “I’m so embarrassed. I forgot about everyone else. Were they watching?”
Was Jason watching?
“Everyone was watching,” Mia whispers to me as we join Ian, Jason and Jasmine.
I inwardly groan, embarrassed that all eyes had been on Wade and I.
We reach the others and I’m sure my face is as red as it’s ever been before by now. All I want to do is leave and go home. But we all stand there for a couple of seconds of awkward silence. I try to appear normal, while Jason continues to stare me down.
Ian whistles low. “So are we going to stand here all day or go home?”
“Go home,” I say.
* * * * *
I can’t believe what I see. My townhouse isn’t standing anymore. One of the townhomes on my row had been hit with a blast and, since they are all connected, a blast to one might as well have been a blast to them all.
I’ve never thought of seeing my home like this. It just never occurred to me—crazy, I know. But reaching home was what kept me going this entire time. I didn’t think of the possibility that I wouldn’t have a home to go back to.
As soon we get here, Jason holds me back at Mia’s request. She doesn’t explain herself, but I know why. She doesn’t want me to stumble across my mom, just in case she is one of the victims scattered about.
Thank God she isn’t.
That’s one thing I can be grateful for. My mother isn’t one of the poor souls sprawled across the parking lot.
But still, these were people I knew. People I saw every day. I try not look at them for longer than I have to. They’re so bloated and decomposed that I have a hard time making out their faces. I wonder if loved ones had come here looking for them, as I’m looking for my mother, and the thought makes my heart drop to my stomach. No one should have to see a loved one like this.
I don’t know how long I stand transfixed in place, staring at what is before me, in a state of shock.
This is it. All this way for nothing
“I’m sorry,” Ian had said.
“We’ll find her,” Jason had added.
But those are empty promises. I know, because I’ve made them to Mia and to Ian too, after we had gone to his house and found it empty and in about the same state as mine.
“I have to make sure that she’s not in there,” I declare.
And against everyone’s wishes, I try to get inside. I try the door, but no matter how hard I push it, wouldn’t budge. Something on the other side is blocking it. Jason hoists me up to the kitchen window, so I can try to go through there, but there is too much glass, and part of the ceiling has fallen too and blocks it, making that way inaccessible. Next I want to go through the basement window, but one look inside and Jason and Mia pull me back.
“Sinta,” Mia says, trying to reason with me. “Even if she is in there…” I stare at her blankly, tryin
g to comprehend what she wanted to say. “Even if she is in there, she wouldn’t be alive.”
“I didn’t come all this way to turn around on a ‘what if’.” I say. “I have to know. I have to see.”
Mia gently pushes my hair away from my face. “No. You don’t have to see.”
That’s when I ease myself to the ground, sitting cross-legged and with my hands folded in my lap. I’ve made it this far, but now I’m so lost. I expected my mother to be here, waiting for me. Winston plops down next to me, resting his head on my thigh.
Without a plan B I don’t know what to do next.
Jasmine and Jason slowly made their way around the building, picking at this and that. Mia and Ian have gone to another row of townhomes, trying to find water and other supplies to take to Wade’s.
Mom, where are you?
I blow out a hard breath.
“Over here,” Jason calls out.
You are not my mother, I think sadly.
I don’t make a move. I don’t even turn in his direction.
Jasmine passes me, stepping over a window frame. I hear them talking to each other. Their voices aren’t rising so I can’t really tell what they’re saying. It’s just as well. I can’t bother myself with anything else besides waiting for my mom.
“Sin, you’re going to want to see this,” Jason says.
A void fills me, making it almost impossible to want to do anything, especially get up to see what he’s talking about.
After a few minutes, I hear footsteps coming to me.
“Come on. Your journey isn’t over just yet,” Jasmine says. She reaches her hand out for me to take. The void is so great that now I don’t even have the energy to lift my hand to take hers.
When she realizes I’m not going to move she huffs and then steps behind me. She hooks her arms under my armpits and with a grunt, tries to lift me to my feet. “You sure are heavier than you look,” she mutters in complaint.
“I don’t feel like moving. I’m sure you and Jason can handle anything that you find.” I make my body heavier, imagining that I’m a stone and I belong on the ground. Immediately Jasmine’s hold on me weakens and she lets me drop.
“Fine then.”
Fine, I repeat silently, mimicking the snarky tone in her voice.
She starts to walk away. “I thought you would want to see the message your mother left you.”
My mother.
All the air leaves my body. Swiftly I roll to my side and to my feet.
“Thought that would get your attention,” Jasmine says, over her shoulder.
I bolt past her and around the corner to where I see Jason standing, facing a piece of wall that hadn’t fell.
There are five distinct messages, written in spray paint and markers that have been left on the ground at the base of the wall. I search, looking for the message for me. My eyes dart across the words. I can’t seem to focus on one word or even the message. “Where?”
Jason points to a spray painted message.
Sinta, I know you’re out there because my heart tells me so.
I’m in Oxford Township. Go to Arrowwood Equestrian Ranch, East Arrowwood Rd. I love you always, mommy.
I can’t take my eyes off the words sprawled hastily on the wall. It’s her.
Mommy.
Tears well up in my eyes, as I place my hand against the word “mommy”. She’s alive and she’s waiting for me.
“I’m coming, mommy.”
* * * * *
I want to run off to the coordinates right now. It’s Jason who reminds me that we have to go to Wade’s house first. Trekking the few miles to his house is something of a breeze, especially knowing that my mother is really alive and I’ll be seeing her soon. I want to talk about her the entire way. I want to talk about the note she left me. I want to talk about how much I love her. But I don’t, I can’t. Not when I’m surrounded by friends who can’t find their families and don’t know if they are alive or dead.
We take the long winding dirt road leading up to his house, stepping over red painted wood and white broken fence parts. If the pieces of barn that we pass is any indication of what to expect, I expect the worse.
He didn’t find his family.
It’s not a premonition that leads me to believe this. It’s the sight of Wade on his knees staring at what used to be his house. His house is totally destroyed. As in obliterated. There’s a pile of wood were I believe his house used to sit. He never told me if they owned any animals or not, but there are none roaming about. There’s a car tilted on its side in the driveway and an RV that had been torched.
Masana is sitting about an arm’s length away from him. She’s staring off, not seeming to pay attention to anything that’s going on around her. When she turns to see us coming, she holds her hand out to Winston and he bounds off to her. Ms. Burgess and MJ are picking through some of the items, probably trying to find out what can be salvaged for use later.
MJ glances up at us then back down to something that he’s trying to kick out of the ground. “Nobody’s left. Nobody’s left in this whole damn city. We came back here for nothing,” he growls.
“No. We had to see for ourselves. We couldn’t spend the rest of our lives wondering if your families had been waiting for you,” Ms. Burgess says. She turns to us. “There’s no sign of MJ’s family or Shayla’s.” She cut her eyes toward MJ. “He’s not taking it well.”
“We should have gone to D.C. with Ken. Maybe he’s right. Maybe the government moved underground.”
I drop the bag of canned goods that Ian and Mia had found in one of my neighbor’s home. “Ms. Burgess is right. My mother is waiting for me.”
That catches Wade, MJ and Ms. Burgess’ attention. Even Masana stops petting Winston to listen.
“You found her?” Wade asks.
“Yeah, she wrote me a note. She’s in Oxford Township.” I shrug. “I don’t know where that is, but Jason found it on the map.”
“And where is that?”
“It’s about fifty miles north of here,” Jason says. “If we start at sunrise, we should be able to make it there before nightfall.”
MJ puts a hand over his forehead and lets it drop slowly down his face. “So, she left you a note,” he says, sounding unconvinced.
“Yes,” I answer, not liking the way he sounds.
“I hate to even bring it up, but how do you know she’s still alive after writing that note?”
“MJ!” Ms. Burgess snaps.
“I’m not trying to be an ass. I’m bringing up a valid question.” MJ shakes his head. “I’m tired. I’m so tired. I’m sorry Sin, but I don’t want to go on another wild goose chase.”
“I’m going to my mom. You can go wherever you want.”
“Hold on,” Jason says. “I know everyone is tired right about now and emotions are high, but this is the only lead that we have and frankly it’s a pretty good one.”
Wade clears his throat and stands. “I’ll go.” He lifts a shoulder. It seems that all the fight has left him. “There’s nothing keeping me here.”
“Thanks,” I say. Then I turn to MJ and grab a hold of his hand. “I don’t want you to stay here. Please come with us.”
He drops his head and I move closer to him.
“MJ, please,” I beg. “Come with me, and if this doesn’t work out, we’ll all go to D.C. and find Ken.”
“Sure,” he finally says.
I give him a hug. “Thanks.”
Jason slaps him on the back. “Let’s find somewhere to sleep for tonight. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Oxford Township, Michigan
May 3rd, 2012: Day 42
I’ve been up for hours, Winston and I waiting patiently for everyone else to rise. I think he can sense my anxiety, because he doesn’t stray far from my side. By the time Jason awakes, I’m sitting cross-legged, waiting for him.
Leaning over, I whisper in Jason’s ear. “I’m going
to see my mother today.”
A slow smile graces his lips, the dimples that I love so much appearing in his cheeks. “I know. Go wake the others so we can get going.”
True to Jason’s word we leave as soon as the sun rises. I hadn’t even let Mia do anything with my hair; no point in wasting precious time. I don’t care if it’s flying in knots all over the place, I’ll have my mother comb it for me later.
Jason keeps his map out, making sure we’re headed in the right direction, and I’m right by his side, pressing him on. He tries to make light conversation, but I’m so nervous I can hardly follow along. I pray that my mother is where her note says she is.
If she isn’t there, then what? I told MJ we would go to D.C. and I’m sure that we will, but I have to agree with him, I’m tired and I think we all are.
No one has had time to grieve. We’ve basically just pushed our losses down deep and kept moving on, trekking forward. It’s something we’ve all become accustomed to doing. We did it when we lost our band members, we did it when we lost Shayla and we did it when we lost Ken. The only problem with continuing to do this is that, one day, someone will erupt and explode.
How much can a person take?
What will be the tipping point?
No matter that direction we look in, death and destruction greets us at every turn. It’s in every city and town that we pass through. We keep our heads up and eyes in front, trying not to let the bodies and carnage register in our minds. I think pretending to be immune to what we see is becoming harder and harder to do.
And no one wants to be the first to admit they can't pretend any more.
It takes us most of the day to make it to Oxford Township. The sun is setting and casting an orange glow against the sky. It’s a small town that I’d never heard of, but even this place hasn’t been spared by the aliens. When we finally find the road, there’s a sign hanging on a wooden post “Arrowwood Equestrian Ranch”. We walk up the dirt road, expecting to find barns that used to house horses or at the very least pieces of the barns, but so far, the only thing we see are “No Trespassing” signs placed every few feet or so.
Against The Darkness (Cimmerian Moon) Page 22