by D. N. Hoxa
The room was quiet once the people got out and closed the door behind them, leaving only six of us in. I sat on the floor in front of them.
“The six of us will continue training every day for as long as we can stand. I said it before—this will not be easy. You will not have time for anything else but fighting. I will expect nothing less than your full attention. This room will be your life from now on until we put this thing behind us. So, if anyone has even the smallest doubt or is even one percent less determined to be here right now, please leave.”
I sat back and waited. The expression on their faces changed as they stared at the wooden floor in front of them, lost in thought. I watched the fear and courage in them fight each other for territory. I watched them look up to one another, asking unspoken questions and trying to gather more courage in the other’s eyes. They measured their choices. There were only two, anyway. Stay and train, or walk out and cower behind others.
I knew the answers before they did. I’d seen it in their eyes. That’s why I chose them. I was hoping to have more of this private group I was building, but I hadn’t seen the right amount of courage in anyone else. And this is one of those things that you cannot push into happening.
“Hell, yeah. I’m in,” Mike said. I stifled my smile because I knew he would be the first. He was the best, right after Aaron. He was the most violent person in the entire group. And his almost square face helped. It looked wild. He had deep set dark brown eyes and a very wide mouth. He was huge. His arms were twice the size of mine. He was a warlock, and his power was X-ray vision. That was a pretty cool and handy thing. He could see through solid matter with just the right kind of spells and concentration. But he needed work on that, too. I’d heard Nick say that he used it to literally undress girls with his eyes so at least he’d had a little practice.
“In.” Next was Naomi. She was pretty big for a woman. Her frame was tall and muscled. A bit too slow, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Her dyed bright red hair was cropped short and her green eyes intense, eager. Passionate. She was a werewolf.
“We’re all in.” This came from Joshua. I had my doubts about him. He was cold, naturally. Half fey, Unseelie. His magic was powerful, more so than any other half-breed I’d ever felt. I was glad he was in. I was glad they were all in.
Carlos’s face broke with a grin filled with mischief. He was one of the fastest vampires I’d ever seen, and his dirty blond hair, porcelain-like skin and honey brown eyes made him a sight to see. I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips. I turned to Aaron who was watching me with the same determination and courage as always, the very thing that made me stop on my tracks when I first saw him. He only gave me a curt nod.
I stood up, prouder than I’d been a second ago. No matter what, the six of us would be the Royal Guards’ equals. We would bring what was left of them down, one by one. Or we would die trying.
“Let’s get ready to kick some Royal ass.”
All of their grins mirrored mine.
4
——————————
It was late and I was breathless. I’d been in the training room from exactly seven in the morning. Fourteen hours. I dropped on the wooden floor to catch my breath before I went at it again. I couldn’t stop. I was exhausting myself, but there was too much energy in me, energy that needed to be released or I’d go insane.
Ella came to see me. She said she wanted to train, too. It was like she punched me in the face with a really big, iron fist. The very thing that I wanted her away from. She wanted to learn how to fight. I had no idea if I should laugh or sit down and cry, seeing her in front of me with that determination in her face. So I just stood there in front of her and stared at her, dumbfounded. She stared right back.
“No,” I said after what felt like hours. Her jaw clenched.
“I want to,” she said, pulling her hands into fists on her sides just like she used to when she was little. For a second, nostalgia hit me in the gut and almost doubled me over, but I held my ground.
“No.” I said again, my voice sharper this time. I was keeping my calm when all I wanted to do was shake her, make her realize just what she was asking me to do. She was asking me to accept the possibility that she might need to fight for her life by teaching her how to. I was prepared for her to shout at me, to tell me I knew nothing, to say she wouldn’t accept no for an answer. I was ready to take it all and still refuse, no matter if I hurt her. But then, something happened.
Her shoulders fell and her fingers loosened and she lowered her head, staring at her feet.
“Please,” she whispered, and I was hit again, but this time by a fucking freight train! I was so stunned, I couldn’t move a muscle in my body. I was frozen in place, so frozen that when she looked up with glossy eyes and then turned to walk away from me, I did nothing. I stood there and watched her. I stared at the door she closed behind her long after she left.
What have I done?
The question kept repeating over and over in my mind. And I didn’t like the answer one bit. I’d destroyed her. I broke her. She said ‘please’! She wanted something so much, and she let it go, just like that! She was nothing like the little girl I left behind four years ago. That little girl would claw my eyes out before she accepted my refusal for something she wanted. That little girl would scream and shout at me at the top of her voice. That little girl would stand her ground and not give up.
That little girl was gone.
And it was all my fault.
I wanted to cry. Instead, I punched and kicked and sliced and punched some more. I was carrying such a weight on my shoulders, and I had no idea how to put it down. She’d been so strong, so determined. She’d been everything I always wanted to be. She had been my role model, although she was younger than me. And now, she was completely transformed.
I kicked the side of my exercise bag so hard, my foot hurt like hell, but I didn’t care.
She looked—seemed—so familiar.
I punched the bag in the chest, left, right, left and then a blow in the gut.
So, so familiar that it was starting to make me sick.
I kicked the bag with my knee on both sides. Again. I punched it with my elbow and then with the heel of my hand.
Because I realized I knew exactly what she looked like.
I jumped on air defying gravity, touched the tip of my foot to the exercise bag’s chest for balance, turned once, twice, kicked the doll again on the head and landed on the wooden floor on my feet.
She looks like me.
She was transformed into exactly what I’d been like four years ago, before I left her. And it made me sick to my stomach. I took two small knives from the arsenal and threw. They hit their target, right in the middle of what would have been the victim’s head.
I wanted to go to her, kick her ass, make her come back, turn her into what she was before I left. But I couldn’t. I was afraid it was too late. And it wasn’t her fault! I wanted so desperately to find something, anything that could possibly give me a clue of what to do. I just knew I wanted her to be the girl I left. Strong. Determined. Independent. Strong headed.
Selfish bitch! I cursed myself for the hundredth time.
The door behind me opened, and I jumped, startled. That hadn’t happened in a long time. Aaron was looking at me, surprise clear in his face. He was again thinking the same thing as me.
Was I losing it?
I stared at him as he recovered from the surprise of my reaction and made his way to the middle of the room. His eyes analyzed every inch of my face as I breathed deeply and tried to mask my emotions as fast as I could. He raised his brow and slightly leaned his beautiful head on one side.
“Match?” he said, and I wanted to hug him. He couldn’t have found a better time. We’d been doing exactly that all day long, but exercise was never enough. Especially when I was overturned by my emotions.
I smiled and took my position. I must have been more tired than I realized because he
took me off guard by doing something I usually do to him. I stretched my left fist, aiming for his jaw when he grabbed me by the wrist, twisted it and turned it so fast, that I was with my back against his chest in less than half a second.
I gasped. He gasped. We both froze. I could feel every line of his muscles against my back as I’m sure he felt mine, too.
“You’re distracted,” he whispered and then let go, pushing me forward. I spun and faced him once again.
“Wow. You must really be a genius to figure that out all by yourself,” I mocked and started to move my feet, slowly circling him. He picked right up and started to do the same. We kept following one another slowly around and around until I ran out of patience and threw my second fist. This time I knew what to expect.
But this time, he knew I knew, too. And he was too smart to go for the same move. So we danced.
We kicked and punched each other, going at it harder than we ever did before. It was exactly what I needed, so much better than fighting an opponent who couldn’t fight back. My mind was on Ella and on his next move. One, then the other. He hit me with his elbow and knocked the air out of my lungs, and I repaid the favor with my knee on his left side. He kicked and punched, harder and harder like he knew that was exactly what I needed. I welcomed it.
We started circling, following each other again. Our eyes never left each other’s.
“So, what is it?” he asked me, slowly pacing behind me.
I said nothing for a while. I wanted to, needed to tell someone—him—about my sister, but I didn’t want to. I had no right to complain. It wasn’t his business. He didn’t really want to know, anyway.
“What is what?” He smiled and my heart picked up the beating. And he jumped at me again.
Another half an hour of kicking and punching and I felt my muscles twitch, telling me they could take no more. But I never gave up in a fight, so I kept going. Ella’s words had burned a scar in my mind. Her weak whisper, her pleading. It was killing me.
We were pacing again. Aaron was watching me. He looked confused, curious even, and then the next second, he stopped moving altogether. My muscles cheered and threw a party, but my face smiled.
“Giving up already?”
But Aaron only sat on the floor. I wanted to drop down right that second, but I held it and I slowly leaned down and sat in front of him. My muscles sent a million thanks to me as they sighed in relief.
“Go on,” he simply said as he leaned back, resting his body on his hands. I tried to fake the confusion again, but his eyes told me he hadn’t bought it the first time, and he wasn’t going to buy it the second.
I sighed and looked away. “It’s nothing.” I said, hoping he’d drop it and hoping he’d ask. Hoping he really wanted to know.
“I want to know,” he said, and my breath caught in my throat. I explored my brain for information, something that’d tell me about any shifter in history who could read minds. I came up empty-handed. But I wasn’t sure he couldn’t, even though that was pretty impossible. I didn’t believe in coincidences. I watched him, genuine curiosity burning in me now as my brows narrowed and my eyes caught every little detail in his face.
“What? I really want to know!” he said again, recognizing the look on my face. I kept waiting for that something, that little emotion on his eyes that would betray his words. That would prove me right. But there was nothing.
He leaned forward, crossing his hands in front of his chest, waiting. The ripped muscles of his arms were so visible that his skin looked like very thin satin covering them. I had the urge to run my hands over the lengths of them. He was waiting patiently and still watching me with that curious gaze. I hesitated. I wanted to spill it, I wanted to tell him, but I wasn’t sure how he’d react. What he’d say. I sighed, holding his gaze. I decided it was worth a try. What could happen, really? The worst he could do was try to humiliate me in front of the others, which would be no big deal. It wouldn’t fill the other’s eyes with more hatred. They were all already full.
“It’s Ella,” I started, and he didn’t laugh or flinch. He said nothing but waited for me to continue. So I did. “She’s…different. Changed. I don’t...” know what to do. What if he thought I was pathetic and stupid? That thought crossed my mind and I stopped.
“Well, what did you expect? It’s been four years. Plenty of time for someone to change,” he said, but it didn’t sound like he was mocking me. He wasn’t being sarcastic. He sounded…normal.
And I wanted to punch him.
As if I didn’t know that it had been four years.
“Of course I knew she’d change! Everybody changes. God knows I’ve changed. But I never thought she’d become...” like me. Again, the thought crossed my mind, and I didn’t have the guts to say it out loud. I wondered what he was thinking, then wished that he’d really drop it.
“Become what?”
With a sigh, I shook my head. “Like me. Like how I used to be four years ago. I mean, she said please!” I wasn’t sure if he realized exactly what that meant because he didn’t know the before Ella, but he could guess based on my panic.
“Everybody says please every once in a while.” Yeah, he definitely didn’t get it.
“Yeah, but not my Ella. She never says please. She wants something and she’s determined to have it. She doesn’t just give up. You don’t know what she was like—”
“Exactly,” he cut me off. “What she was like.”
I stared at him with my mouth open. I stared at him because he was right. Because she was like that when she was thirteen. And four years had passed since then. It broke my broken heart all over again to know that the consequences of my actions were reflected more in the most important person in my world than in me.
“I-I-I…I don’t know what to do,” I whispered, feeling pathetic. I hated myself for opening up to him. There’s no telling what he’d do with this information. A million options crossed my mind, but that moment I didn’t care. I was desperate. I wanted my little sister back.
“It’s amazing how things like weapons, war and destruction don’t even make us flinch, but when it comes to something as simple as human emotion, we break apart,” Aaron whispered, looking at his hands in front of him. I was fascinated all over again by the way his mind worked. He never told me what I wanted to hear. That’s why he always made me so angry. He always told me what I needed to hear. And no one ever did that around me. “Why did she say please?” he asked after a couple of moments, bringing me back to the present.
“She wants to learn how to fight and I said no.” I was pretty sure I’d have his support, at least, but…
“Why not?”
Isn’t it obvious? my expression said, but he kept looking at me and waiting for an answer so he must’ve not gotten the look on my face. “Because,” I said, “she doesn’t have to learn how to fight. Because she’ll be safe, far away from any danger. Because danger is what I had in mind when I left her four years ago, and danger is what I’m keeping her far away from now,” I answered in one breath.
“Don’t you think she needs to learn how to defend herself? The basics at least?” He didn’t understand.
“Of course not! She doesn’t need to learn anything that has to do with fighting. I’ve learned enough for both of us.” I needed him to see it like I saw it—the right way.
“Everybody needs to learn how to defend themselves. And I’d think you, of all people, would want her to learn how to fight.”
“No, because—” but he wouldn’t let me.
“What if she’s in a situation alone and you’re not there?” That made me hold my horses.
“I will be there,” I said, as his words started to burn a hole in my brain.
“Yeah, but what if you’re not?” And I wanted nothing more than to strangle him. Because he was right. I might not be there. And I might die. I might leave her again. I wouldn’t live forever. Mom didn’t live forever.
I jumped to my feet because I couldn’t hear one
more word about this without breaking something.
“Why am I even listening to you?” I spit, throwing daggers his way with my eyes. He stood up to face me.
“Because you know I’m right.”
My fists on my sides were twitching and I wanted nothing more than to punch him, but my muscles protested and I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Instead I closed my eyes for a second and concentrated on the air around me, desperately seeking calmness. When it felt okay to look at him, I opened my eyes again.
“Like you know anything about me,” I hissed at him. But he smiled. He smiled that perfect half smile of his and he leaned in, closing the space between us and making my heart go crazy.
“I see right through you,” he whispered in my ear again. But his time he didn’t back away or leave. This time he lowered his head and met my eyes and held them. Blood was rushing in my ears, and my heart was beating twice its normal rate with anticipation. He was close, but I wanted him closer. I didn’t want a single inch between us. He leaned in. I leaned in. I was sure he could hear the raw beating of my heart as clear as I could hear his. His eyes were filled with desire so intense that I wanted to feel it everywhere on my body. I wanted to sink into it. His right hand gripped my naked arm, sending shivers down my spine. I wanted nothing more than his lips on mine.
I felt his life energy without meaning to. He was so open all of a sudden, showing me so much with his emotions that I felt dizzy. No one’s energy was like that! It was too silent, too sneaky, too graceful, and too powerful for a shifter. It wasn’t warm and natural like…like everybody else. It was like mystery, dark and devouring. It was so strong.