“Remember what we said? No more doubts, no more guilt? True, with some people, I wonder how they manage to look at themselves in the mirror, but that’s not for us to worry about.”
Rebecca leaned into her embrace tiredly. “I needed that shower hours ago, now I’m not sure I can stand up long enough.”
“How about a bath instead?” Callie suggested. “Let me take a shower quickly, and then I’ll run it for you.”
They’d be okay. They’d been through worse—and the time ahead in the Italian countryside would be healing for all of them.
“That sounds great. I’ll go check on Maggie once more.”
* * * *
Maggie regarded her cautiously, and Rebecca, feeling wistful and a little ashamed, thought she had a point, considering Rebecca’s earlier struggle to hold herself together. The worst was over. Maggie was safe, and they would leave all troubles behind for a few weeks. Maggie wanted time to think. The matter of fact way in which she had declared her intention would be almost funny, but her reasons certainly weren’t. Neither were the events that had piled up to make her come to the conclusion, that she needed a break.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said, sitting down on the side of the bed.
Maggie sighed, the sound heart-wrenching to Rebecca, and laid her book aside.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted to tell you, but…”
“I know. It’s a lot to take in, but I swear—Dad going away has nothing to do with what Andy said. She’s—” Crazy, Rebecca would have liked to say, and leave it at that, but she thought her child deserved better than a worldview where you put labels on people without any clarification. Like what Andy was doing, and what had probably been done to her at some point. “Having a hard time,” she said instead. “Not that it’s an excuse, to hurt someone else when you’re hurting. You know I think everything will look better after we’ve had some sleep. I hope Barney didn’t pee on Jenny’s carpet?”
Against all odds, Maggie started to giggle, the unexpected mood swing relaxing Rebecca more than anything. “Mom! He doesn’t do that anymore!”
“That’s good. Very good.”
“I’m really sorry,” Maggie said.
“I know. Me too. Dad’s going to come visit when he can.”
Which is not going to be very often, but what else is new? Rebecca hugged her close before she got up, still feeling brittle and uncertain despite all the reassurances. She really needed that vacation.
“Good night.”
On the way out, she picked up a pair of jeans that sat neatly folded on a chair, intent on putting it in the laundry. There was a rustling sound and a piece of paper falling out.
“Dear Mom,” it said, “Barney and I are going to stay with Stella tonight. Please don’t worry…”
Rebecca leaned back against the wall, wishing they could pack and leave tomorrow.
Chapter Six
The way Callie had transformed the bathroom, with candles on the side of the rim, soft light and a bubble bath waiting for her, Rebecca already felt better. The facts, however, remained the same.
“She wrote a note and forgot to leave it. Poor baby. After all the adults wouldn’t stop messing with her mind, she packed her backpack and took Barney to have a moment for herself to think it all through. I can’t get over that.”
She felt too tired to even to undress herself, grateful for Callie’s assistance.
“She’s had a tough year,” Callie said. “By which I mean, the divorce, and David leaving, that’s probably the least of it. Or it would be, if Andy hadn’t told her all those horrible things. Maggie wouldn’t get those ideas by herself. She knows neither of us would leave her behind.”
“Yes. I hope so.”
Sinking into the warm water was a relief. Rebecca resisted the temptation to go all the way under, just for a second, like they did in the movies. She didn’t want to scare Callie though, so she opted for lying back as far as possible, and closed her eyes.
“You did nothing wrong.” Callie’s hand brushing over her hair relaxed her even further. “I’m sure Andy will stay away from now. She’s got a lot of trouble of her own to deal with.”
“I know. Maggie never wanted to run away. God. Today sucked.”
Even before the words were out of her mouth, she knew Callie would laugh at them, and against all odds, Rebecca had to laugh too. “Yeah, with Dina around, there’ll be more of this language, I think, and I’m not talking about Italian. I hope it won’t be too tough for her, coming back to Autumn Leaves.”
“I think she’ll do great. It’s only for a year or so anyway, unless you’ll put your foot down regarding the study year in Italy. David can hardly weigh in on that from Hong Kong.”
“No,” Rebecca agreed. “It never ends, does it?”
“Maybe not, but we deserve a little break every now and then. Like now.”
Rebecca had to smile when she realized Carrie’s words were meant literally, because the moment she stepped into the tub, all future decisions they’d have to make seemed very far away.
The next day, they met her parents for breakfast before they drove them to the airport. The subject of conversation was light, their upcoming trip to Italy, and not far after that, attending the wedding of Maggie’s favorite teacher in New York. When Rebecca hugged both her parents before saying goodbye, watching Callie do the same, she felt regret for all the time she’d wasted wondering and worrying. “I hope you come visit us more often,” she said.
“Yes, please,” Maggie joined in, happy with the prospect. Dina smiled in agreement. Another round of hugs, and her parents got in line for security. Rebecca knew she was going to miss them.
* * * *
There was another airport goodbye upon them soon after the last one. Saying goodbye to David was an awkward moment she could have done without. Truth be told, Rebecca wasn’t sad or disturbed about the distance that would be between them in the near future--it would do them some good, maybe, after all the questions, doubts and accusations of the past year. Of course, the same wasn’t true for her daughters, as they were well aware of the consequences.
David’s mother hugged both of the girls, but her greeting to Callie and Rebecca was cool. Susan’s parents and her sister, who had come to see her off to the new life, regarded the scene with curiosity. Absurd, it occurred to her these strangers she’d never met before had without a doubt an opinion about her life and the choices she’d made, because at some point, they concerned someone they cared about.
She’d never asked exactly when David and Susan’s relationship had started, not when she first suspected, or when he insisted he wanted her back—or even when Callie had told her about the phone call Dina had once overheard. It simply didn’t matter anymore. Not to her, in any case.
Watching her daughters saying teary-eyed goodbyes to David, Rebecca wished once more each of them could have done things in the right order. It was hard, almost impossible, to think of an alternative. She couldn’t imagine not having Callie in her life--or her children. David was taking Susan to live with him in Hong Kong, a woman he, as Craig had claimed, had dated well within the time of his and Rebecca’s marriage.
She cast a wistful look at Dina and Maggie who hugged David tightly.
Don’t grow up so fast, she thought. It only gets messier.
When she suggested ice cream, this time, no one disagreed.
* * * *
Before leaving for her hairdresser’s appointment, Rebecca was brewing another pot of coffee, which Callie undoubtedly needed. She had crammed as much writing as possible into the past few days before their departure, determined to provide Asha with a sample before they left for Italy.
Rebecca wasn’t sure how many hours of sleep Callie had gotten in those days, but her bleary-eyed look at the breakfast table was telling.
“Is there anything else I can get you?”
“You’re going by Roz’s?” Callie asked hopefully, her eyes lighting up at the prospect.
“Triple chocolate, I assume.”
“I love you so much.”
“I’m glad. You’re easy to please.”
Callie chuckled as she reached for her notebook, in which pages where filled with notes that didn’t even look like they were written in the English language.
“You’re always welcome to find out.”
“Find out what?” Dina stood in the doorway, laughing at their no doubt guilty expressions. “Wow. Did you stay up all night?”
“Says the girl with the never-ending Skype conversation.” Callie yawned. “Just wake me when it’s time to go to the airport, okay?”
“Didn’t you say you weren’t done yet? Poor baby.” Rebecca brushed her hand over Callie’s hair, glancing over at Dina who had gotten herself a cup of coffee as well. “Don’t let her fall asleep, okay? She’ll never forgive us.”
“Sure,” Dina promised, amused. “Will you be back around noon? I promised Maggie to go shopping with her later, break into Grandma and Granddad’s gift card.”
“I hope they won’t chop off that much. Be careful. There’s a weight limit to how many books you can bring on the plane.”
“Will do.”
Maggie came into the kitchen, bouncing, making Callie who had been on the verge of drifting off, jump.
“I’ll see you all later for some major packing activities. Have fun.”
It was with a much lighter heart than the days before that Rebecca left the house. Some sort of order was returning to their home, and with it, the familiar warm, kind and loving atmosphere she’d always worked for, even under the most difficult circumstances. Now that Dina was settled into her new room and Maggie had been assured that none of the adults in her life, ever, would leave her behind in the way Andy had suggested, there was a new calm. Of course, that had a lot to do with the fact that Andy hadn’t bothered either of them since her appearance at Rebecca’s birthday party.
Amber hadn’t offered any details at the last meeting, and Rebecca hadn’t asked.
In spite of her appointment, she had to wait at the hairdresser’s, and she picked up magazine to leaf through.
In the past year, she had spent time waiting in a police station, the hospital, a lawyer’s office and a children’s counselor’s waiting room—a few minutes more at the hairdresser’s didn’t bother her. In three days, she’d be leaving for Italy with Callie, Dina and Maggie—and all of them would come home together. Life at forty wasn’t so bad after all.
Finally, Cynthia had time for her. Rebecca never knew how much of the talk in town regarding her had reached the hairdresser, since they only saw each other once, twice a year. Actually, the last time she’d come here had been almost a year ago.
“Same as usual?” Cynthia asked with a bright smile.
If she said yes, like all the other times, Rebecca knew she’d be out of the salon in a matter of minutes. Something tempted her though. She held up the magazine to Cynthia, wondering if she would regret her decision. “Can you do that?”
Cynthia’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“You don’t seem to be. You think it will be bad?”
“No. No, not at all. I’m just surprised.”
“Yeah, me too.” Rebecca regarded her mirror image, the long locks falling down past her shoulders, the same style for many years. Did she need an outside change to reflect the change within? Did she want it? “I think I’m ready,” she said.
“I’ve heard that one before in here.” Cynthia laughed good-naturedly. “Trust me. It will be gorgeous.”
“I hope so.”
Cynthia got to work, and the first strands were falling to the floor. “Don’t look so worried. I’m sure your husband will love it.”
Rebecca didn’t comment on that, but she couldn’t suppress the smile at Cynthia’s comment. As it was, she didn’t live her life under glass in Autumn Leaves, an impression that had haunted her for quite some time. There were still people who didn’t pay attention to innuendo and drama--the realization was a relief.
* * * *
Betty was sitting at a corner table of Roz’s Cupcake Delights, reading the newspaper. She didn’t look up when Rebecca passed her by and went to the counter to get Callie the promised cake.
“Triple chocolate. Make that four, please.”
“Coming right up.” Roz looked up at her and did a double-take. “Rebecca!” Her exclamation prompted Betty to put down her newspaper and come over, her expression equally baffled as Roz’s.
“Okay, now I feel terrible. It’s that bad?” Rebecca asked. Truth be told, on the way here, she had stopped at every other window. In one of them she had discovered a sundress she hadn’t been able to resist. Betty and Roz were still staring.
“Wow,” Betty said, patting her on the shoulder. “You look amazing. I’ve got good news too, but now I’m jealous. There’s never any topping your surprises.”
“I agree.” Roz sighed as she closed the box containing the cakes. “Not to mention the fact that you’ll be wearing that pretty new hairstyle in Italy. Come on girls. That calls for a glass of something sparkling.”
“On the house.” Jamie, Roz’s boyfriend and co-owner of the café, had appeared from the office, embracing her from behind. “Sit down with your friends for a bit. I can take over.”
“Thanks honey.”
“No problem,” he said, and they shared a quick kiss before Roz got a bottle out of the fridge and took off her apron. “Hey, Rebecca. Great look.”
They sat down at Betty’s table, which reminded Rebecca of her earlier words.
“What exactly is it we’re celebrating?”
“Before you stole my thunder?” Betty asked, but there was a smile in her voice. “As you know, Callie is doing the reading for the women’s shelter once you guys are back from vacation. With Reynolds not backing down on the craziness, I’ve decided to make us less dependent on his goodwill.” She snorted. “Whatever that means, he hasn’t shown much of that since he came here, but whatever. Charles and I had a good year, business-wise, and we’re going to start our own foundation. Oh, and the good news keep coming. Eric has left the company. Apparently, there were complaints about him harassing co-workers much the same way Andy did. I don’t know if he was let go or left on his own, but for us, the result stays the same.”
“Andy will go with him?” Rebecca asked, baffled as she tried to keep up with all those new developments.
“We don’t know and we don’t care.” Betty raised her glass. “To brave new cuts.”
In the resulting laughter, it seemed that all of them were very much aware that someone was missing in their round, and they missed her badly.
Rebecca thought of what Craig had told her earlier, about Maria revealing Rebecca and Callie’s relationship to him before anyone else knew. Maria had always wanted to believe in the good in people, no matter how often she’d been proven wrong.
Rebecca had admired her for her unwavering faith, but all in all she took a more cautious approach to the world. She couldn’t help being a bit curious about Andy and how she would deal in the future, but as she’d been told by various people, it was not her priority or business in the first place.
* * * *
With a self-imposed deadline looming, Callie finally found an acceptable rhythm--which meant that she got a lot less sleep than usual, but days from the vacation starting, she didn’t care. She was used to these intense writing periods, and finally, the scenery built around her, Vanessa and Sabine’s big day.
In those times when she walked more into their universe than her own, real one, it was easy, even if a few days ago, the same task seemed insurmountable.
Getting this particular story out wasn’t about her, or Rebecca. They would figure things out at their own pace, make their own decisions. Words on paper could inspire the idea of a better, kinder world, even or especially in a love story. After accompanying those two characters for years, from the day they first met, having them end up in this p
lace, succeeding, made her a lot more emotional than she had envisioned.
“Hey, you didn’t get bad news, did you?”
Dina’s worried voice brought her back into reality.
“No. It’s just—” She wondered if Dina was in the mood for hearing about her tearing up over imaginary people after the real life scene at the airport. Whatever tension and resentment had lain between Callie and David, in the end, she couldn’t help feeling for the girls, and him too. “Writing about a wedding. It has that effect, I guess.”
Dina nodded as if she understood exactly what was going on. “You haven’t asked Mom yet?”
“What? Why do you think…” Callie was scrambling for words, taken aback by that question coming from Dina. Sure, she had been okay with Callie and Rebecca’s relationship for some time, but marriage was on a whole different scale, and Dina understood that too. “No, and don’t you worry. You’d be among the first to know,” she promised.
“Don’t you want to?” Dina asked thoughtfully.
“Yes, sure, I totally want to, at some point.” There was no doubt whatsoever. “A lot happened in a very short time, and everyone needs a little time. I think we’re all looking forward to the vacation now.”
“Don’t wait too long.”
“What do you mean?” Callie wasn’t sure whether she should be happy that Dina was obviously relaxed about the subject, or concerned because of her advice. Did she know something that Callie didn’t?
“Well…I know you’re hesitating because everything pretty much blew up into everyone’s faces when you two started out, but you don’t have to worry about Mom. She doesn’t need that much time. She needs you.”
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Damn those fictional weddings making her all teary-eyed in the first place.
Summer Wine (Callie & Rebecca Book 4) Page 10