by Dani René
The moment those two words hit my ears, I shrug my brother off and spin toward Kalyn, whose eyes are wide with shock when my palms hit the table. I lean in, getting my face right in front of hers. We’re inches apart, and what I see in those pretty almond-shaped orbs is fear. She’s scared of me. I would be too. But not for her safety, for that bastard who hurt her.
“Don’t you ever apologize for what you went through.” My words are filled with rage and venom. The violence that’s shooting through every nerve ending in my body twists around my lungs, squeezing the air from me. I’m ready for war with this bastard. “I have to know what happened to you, Kaly.”
“Cass,” Finn’s calm voice breaks through the cloud of pure forcefulness that’s surrounding me, and I push away from Kalyn. “Can you tell us?” He focuses on Kaly, and after a while, she nods.
19
Kalyn
I haven’t spoken about this to anyone. Not even a therapist. The fear of being judged, of having people know I’ve done something bad, made me want to hide away from the truth. But with Cassian and Finn, there is no hiding anymore.
Maybe, just maybe, they can help me.
“Eight months ago, I was in a very low place. Work had been so busy, I hadn’t had time to spend with my folks, and my dad was getting worse. The cancer had spread. But then, something happened,” I finally start, my voice is merely a whisper, but both men are now seated across from me, watching me intently. I don’t look at them because if I do, I’ll break down, and I won’t be able to confess my darkest secret.
“I wanted to go to an after-party to meet with a director, but I’d been feeling sick for a few weeks. I didn’t think anything of it,” I say while trying to keep my voice even, to keep the words from halting due to fear. “It was a busy time for me with both movies hitting the big screen. Paulo was there every single day, watching me. It felt like I was under more scrutiny, more than the paparazzi ever exhibited.
“Where were you staying at the time?” Finn asks, causing me to finally look up at both men. Cassian looks like he’s barely holding onto his sanity at this point, so I focus on Finn.
“One of Paulo’s houses. He kept me there, night and day. If I was in the studio, on location or had an appearance, he’d take me, wait until I was done, and then drive me back to the house.”
“Where were your folks?” Again, it’s Finn who asks this, and Cassian sits silently, his teal eyes turning dark with anger at every word I utter.
“Dad was already in the hospital, and Mom was working night and day at the studio,” I tell them. “I was alone. And I thought Paulo cared, ensuring I got to work when I needed to be. It was…”
“Nice?” Cassian sneers; his hands are twisted on the table as he leans forward. “He was being nice?” I know he’s not angry at me because he would’ve said something to taunt me if he was. He’s angry at how Paulo twisted my perception of him, ensuring I was leaning on and relying on him for everything.
“Yeah,” I admit. “When I started getting sick, he took me to a doctor to get tests done, but now that I recall, the doctor didn’t say anything was the matter. But Paulo met with him alone, after I was done. They were in the office for a long while, and when Paulo took me home, he seemed agitated. I don’t remember much more of that day or the night.”
Cassian is on his feet, pacing back and forth as he tugs off his hoodie, and I get a glimpse of the man under the material. His shoulders are broad, muscled. He’s filled out so much from the boy I once knew. Veins line his arms, pulsing as he fists and releases his hands at his sides.
His torso is lean, but he’s sculpted; the way his body is tapered from his broad chest to his narrow waist makes my mouth water. The black jeans he’s wearing hug his muscled thighs. Everything about him is built for the hunt, a predator, ready to pounce on his prey.
When he finally stops pacing, those teal eyes, now dark as the ocean, pin me to the spot, and my breath catches in my throat. “What happened after that?” His voice is menacing, drenched with something dark, something dangerous, and it makes me shiver. I’m not afraid of Cassian hurting me; I’m scared that he’s going to do something he can never come back from. I’m terrified he’ll kill Paulo.
There are choices you make, things you do in life. You act out, and you don’t think of the consequences, the aftermath. And I pray with all I have that Cassian doesn’t do something stupid that will forever change his life. Not for me.
“I-I think that’s enough,” I whisper.
“Tell me what the fuck happened!” His voice booms across the room, and I expect the windows to shatter from the pure force of it. His hands slam down on the wooden surface, causing me to jump in shock. I’ve seen Cassian in every mood imaginable, but I’ve never seen him so filled with rage before.
“Hey, man,” Finn tries to placate his brother. “We know what—”
“Shut the fuck up, Finn,” Cassian throws back over his shoulder to his brother. “I want her to tell me. I want to hear the words uttered because when I take action, I want the reminder of this pretty little liar’s confession to be my fuel.”
He turns his attention on me once more, and then I see it. It’s only a flicker of emotion, but I read it in those eyes. He cares for me. It may not be love, but there’s something there, and if he cares, perhaps he’ll listen to me. Maybe he’ll hear me out and not do something stupid.
“I-I…” My voice cracks as agony shoots through my chest at the memory. At how callously Paulo had acted when I was admitted to the hospital. Tears burn my eyes, they linger on my lashes, and when I blink, they trickle down my cheeks.
I expect Cassian to laugh, to say something taunting to me. I am certain he’s enjoying my pain, but when he speaks, my heart catapults into my throat.
“I’m going to kill him.” There is no messing around, no humor in his tone, and it’s evident that he’s most certainly going to do as he says. “Tell me, Kalyn, you need to talk about it,” he says gently as he settles into the chair beside me.
His arm wraps around my shoulders as he pulls me closer to his body. I nestle in the crook of his hold, and his strong, firm touch calms me somewhat as he leans in to meet my gaze.
“I need you to say it,” he whispers. “You have to recognize what you’ve been through.” I don’t know why he’s doing this; it doesn’t matter if I say it or not; the truth is, I lost so much, and he has no reason to help me.
“I-I m-miscarried.” More tears fall, burning tracks down my cheeks as I recall the agony. The blood. The pain that I can never hide from. As much as he wanted to make me forget by getting me high every day, keeping me in a fog of whatever he would give me, I remember. Every minute of that drive to the hospital, when two of Paulo’s friends, who are doctors, took me into a private room. Where they administered medication, put me on pain killers that made me lose consciousness. I spent weeks with my head in the clouds.
“Kalyn.” Cassian’s voice breaks through the memories assaulting me, and I glance up to find his teal eyes shimmering as he regards me. “Nobody should go through that alone.” His voice, tender and warm, wraps itself around me, and for a long moment, I bask in his affection.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I whisper, “H-h-he didn’t care. He watched me b-b-bleed,” I choke out the words as pain lances my chest at the memory. “At first I wasn’t sure what was going on, my mind was fuzzy, but…”
“My sweet girl,” Cass coos as he watches me, waiting for the moment I’ve expelled every hurtful recollection. With what Paulo did to me, I could be here all day confessing.
“It was only days later that I remembered what happened, how I had come to lose…” I blink and tears tumble freely. “He and two of his friends, the doctors who treated me after, they…”
Silence hangs heavily as I try to find the words. I want to tell them, tell Cassian, but as my salty emotion burns tracks down my cheeks, I suddenly feel weak.
“Kalyn, you don’t have to—”
Ca
ssian’s voice is tight with feral rage, so I interrupt and murmur the last part of my pain, “They gave me drugs that would bring about the loss. From what I remember, Paulo talking to them about not wanting children and… one of the doctors said he knew how to remove it with a mix of pills.”
A whispered fucking hell comes from Finn who’s voice is tinged with wrath. Cassian cups my cheek, but the anger causes his hands to tremble against me. His eyes burning with vengeance and heartbreak as his thumb swipes over the tears that collect on the pad. He mimics the motion on the other cheek and locks his gaze on mine.
But before he can say anything more, I whisper, “I felt nothing. I was numb for so long.” The plea in my tone is unmistakable. I want help. I want Cassian. But I’ll never be whole. At least, that’s one thing I’m certain of as he takes my hand and brings it to his lips.
“I’m going to make him pay, over and over again.” The promise is filled with conviction, and I don’t doubt him and then he pulls my face to his, our lips fusing with regret and pain.
The softness of his kiss cracks my heart further, and I wonder how he can still be sitting here after knowing everything about me. My life has been a series of mistakes that I can’t come back from.
“Come with me,” Cassian says before taking my hand as he rises from the chair. He pulls me up, and I have no choice but to follow. “I’ll see you in the morning; we’ll talk about the plan.” He glances over his shoulder at Finn, who’s watching us intently, and my cheeks heat at the way his lips curve into a grin.
“Oh, I’ll be waiting, brother,” Finn says. “Goodnight, Kalyn.” He offers a mock salute as we walk out of the kitchen and make our way through the house.
It’s enormous. And with every step on the expensive tiles, I wonder when my phone is going to ring. Paulo thinks I’m with Genevieve, but it won’t be long before he’s looking for me because I haven’t returned.
I need to tell Cassian, but he seems to be on a mission to get wherever we’re going. Down the long hallway on the ground floor, he leads me all the way to the back of the house until we get to the end, where two doors are waiting for us. Both are shut.
Cassian takes a key from his pocket and unlocks one before pushing it open and allowing me to step through first. Inside, I find a double bed that is covered in soft green bedding. The windows are shut, but there’s an icy chill in the air. The curtains are white, with small green flowers on them, offering a brightness to the room even though the overhead light is fairly dim.
“This is where you’ll sleep tonight,” Cassian says from behind me, causing me to spin on my heel. I’m exhausted. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. It’s been a while since I forced myself to think about the baby. Even though it was early in the pregnancy, I still feel this emptiness that shouldn’t be there.
“He’s going to call,” I tell Cassian. “He won’t stop until he’s found me. He thinks I’m with Genevieve. It was the only way I could get out of the house without him following.”
Cassian nods. “Give me your phone.” It’s an order, one that I accept and obey immediately as I hand over the device. It’s not locked. It’s never been because that way, Paulo can see who I’ve been contacting.
All this time, I’ve been stuck in this abusive circle, and I didn’t even think to get out. That’s not true, I have wondered what it would be like to be free, but with my father’s treatment at the forefront of my mind, I didn’t think I had a choice.
“Why are you helping me?” I ask Cassian as he taps out something on my phone. I should look to see what he’s doing, but I’m too tired to fight any more tonight. I’ve been tired for a long time, but with the drugs that have kept me going, it didn’t fully hit me until now.
My hands are still trembling as I stand and watch Cassian. The silver chain that hangs around his neck is so familiar, and I focus on it, trying to recall where it’s from.
But when he lifts his gaze to mine, all thoughts in my mind wash away. He stalks toward me, stopping inches from me. The warmth of his cedar cologne engulfs me, consuming my worries and calming me.
“Because no matter what, I’ll always be your rock,” he affirms before tugging my chin between his thumb and forefinger. His lips brush along mine, and the heat of his breath wafts over me, taking me prisoner.
“I thought you wanted to see me pay for what I did?” I don’t know why I’m challenging him like this, poking the bear while it’s asleep, but I can’t help myself. It’s how we’ve always been—me, a sassy little shit, and him, a demanding bastard.
“I do.” His whisper feathers along my lips. “And I’ll make you pay, on my terms,” he tells me, and I don’t doubt for a moment that he’s telling the truth. “You need sleep. I’ve handled your fiancé for tonight,” he spits the word as if it’s poison on his tongue. “I’ll be back in the morning to bring you breakfast.”
Suddenly, he releases me, pushing away from me as if I’ve burned him. A shiver wracks through me when I realize he’s about to lock me in this room.
“Cassian, please don’t—”
“There’s water in the fridge,” he says as he points to a small under-counter cooler. “And the bathroom is through that door.” I take in where he’s gesturing. “Don’t try anything stupid because I’ll know.” And then he’s gone.
Racing to the door, I bang on the wooden surface, and I wonder if he’s standing on the other side listening to me beg. My mind is whirling with thoughts, fears, questions. My hands are shaking even more now than they were earlier.
The room is comfortable with the enormous bed I’m currently lying on. In my attempt to calm my erratic heartbeat, I focus on my surroundings and take in the off-white curtains and the mirror that sits across the windows.
It’s a lovely bedroom, and I wish I could truly enjoy the space, but my mind is racing. The sky outside is black with no moon or stars in sight. I should get up and close the drapes, but my legs are trembling.
Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply, fisting my hands and unclenching them. “I’m okay. I can do this. Cassian is going to help me.” My stomach twists as anxiety takes hold, and the need for something to ease my nervous energy is at the forefront of my mind.
Usually, this is the time Paulo would give me something to calm me down, to allow me to sleep peacefully. But tonight, I’m going cold turkey, and I’m not sure I’ll survive the night.
20
Cassian
In my bedroom, I’m anxious. Knowing she’s only downstairs, locked up tight, has me aching to go to her, to heal the pain I saw so clearly in her eyes. But if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to stop until she was nothing more than a whimpering mess. And her coming off whatever the fuck Paulo got her addicted to isn’t going to be easy for her.
Pulling out my phone, I hit call on Ulrich’s number. The doctor I’ve known all my life has always been a help when needed, and this time, he’s going to have to be here for my girl.
“Mr. Thorne,” he greets, his voice happy and light.
“Doctor, I need your help. I’m sorry it’s so late, but I have my girlfriend here and she’s been struggling with addiction. I don’t want to send her to the hospital just yet. Would you be able to come and check in on her?”
“How long has this been going on?” I can hear the worry in his tone.
Sighing, I tell him the story, how Kalyn is only now coming to terms with what’s been going on, the abuse, the addiction. And even though she hasn’t asked for help yet, I need him to make sure she gets through this.
“Give me thirty minutes and I’ll be there, I’m just finishing up at the hospital. In the mean time, stay with her, try to keep her calm and don’t let her out of your sight.”
“See you soon.” I hang up before shoving my phone into my pocket. I could taunt her until she focuses on me only. I could take her to the edge, leaving her teetering, needing nothing more than orgasm after orgasm that I’ll bestow on her beautiful body. But that’s not how I want to help her. Because turn
ing her addiction from drugs to sex is unhealthy, no matter how much I crave a taste of her.
My bedroom door opens, and I know it’s Finn. I don’t look away from the garden, my focus on the window in front of me that offers a view of the woods that line the back of our property.
“I have a feeling someone’s gotten way under your skin,” Finn remarks from behind me. I’m not sure how to answer him because I know Kalyn has always been under my skin. She burrowed herself there long before I even realized what had happened.
I spent my youth enjoying the single life. I never once had a girlfriend, and even when I thought about a relationship, the only person who ever crossed my mind was her.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I tell Finn, and the lie tastes bitter on my tongue. We’ve always been close. There’s nothing my brother doesn’t know about me. And I know it’s the same the other way around. But with her, I want to keep her all to myself. “Have we found a weakness in that bastard’s armor?” I ask instead before he has time to talk about Kalyn.
Finn sighs. “Yeah,” he tells me, causing me to turn around. “There’s a criminal organization he’s been running; the clubs are a front, but we need to get the team in, they have to dig into it. If I do it, he’ll trace it back to us. The asshole is slimy at best, but his contacts are fucking mafia and cartel.”
“Jesus,” I bite out, running my fingers through my short hair. “This needs to end. She doesn’t need him in her life.”
“And she needs you?” Finn challenges, his smirk curling his lips, and the flash of amusement in his eyes is evidence that my brother is attempting to taunt me.
“I never said she did. All I’m trying to do is help her, to make sure she’s healthy, and alive. This bastard needs to pay for what he did to her.” The anger in my tone is clear, thick and heavy with the threat of just what I’d love to do to the fucker when I get my hands on him. But as Finn said, we have to get as much information about him before making a move. I don’t need the mafia or the fucking cartel coming to Thorne Haven.