by Dani René
Shaking my head, I offer a small smile. “You were too young to even know what those kinds of emotions were.” I reach for her face, my hand cupping her cheek, and she nuzzles into my touch as if I were her anchor to this world, rooting her to the here and now.
“Perhaps. But I also knew that my heart was stronger when I was with you; I felt at ease in my own shoes when I walked beside you, more than any other time in my life. And I breathed easier when you were around. The only person who understood me was you.”
This time, when Kaly looks at me, there are no lies, there’s no fog of a high in her pretty eyes. She’s not lying, and it does things to me. Things I don’t want to admit or allow myself to feel. But I don’t have a choice because all I can see or smell, or feel, is her.
“I may have been young, sort of innocent, but I knew what I felt in my heart, Cassian,” she admits softly, her lips capturing my thumb, and I watch with pure lust coursing through my veins as she sucks the digit into her warm mouth. Her teeth scraping along the flesh, sending desire straight to my hardening erection.
“Kaly.” Her name is a warning. “Little liar,” I say, calling her the nickname I’ve given her since that night. “Don’t tease me.”
This time, I see the girl I once knew when she locks her gaze with mine. “Why? Because you’ll finally give in to what you’ve always wanted?” she teases and bites down on my thumb hard until my cock throbs against my zipper.
My mind is awash with all the ways I can make her cry and scream. Pushing her back until she hits the mattress, I’m on her in a second. My body looming over her smaller one.
Thankfully she’d already gotten dressed because if she’d been in the towel, it would’ve fallen open, and I would’ve been knocked breathless by the sight of her naked beneath me.
“This isn’t the way it should happen,” I tell her earnestly.
Kaly shakes her head. “Why? Because it’s against the rules?” This time, it’s another one of her sassy remarks, those that always got her into trouble around me.
I watched for years as she came into her own with the boys at school. Though none of them were confident enough to take it too far because I had my Haven boys, along with my two brothers, watching her like hawks.
But there was always one or two guys hanging around, hoping to get lucky. They never did. I made sure of it. Kaly doesn’t know what I did in school to keep her virtue safe. Deep down, I wanted it for myself, but now that I know that ship has sailed, I know I can’t be her first, but I’ll most definitely be her last.
“I never wanted you to hurt, to feel pain, but when your grandmother died, and you went over the edge, all I could do was be there for you,” I tell her. I recall those dark days easily because they will always be stuck in my mind, reminding me of just how difficult loss is.
“You could’ve healed me.”
“By what? Fucking you?” I bite out as frustration takes hold. I spent nights alone thinking of her then. I would drop her at home after the parties she loved to frequent, and when I did, I always wanted to follow her inside. I wanted to see her flop onto her bed and fall asleep. I didn’t need those cheerleaders who so clearly wanted me; all I craved was Kalyn. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re right. There wasn’t anything else you could offer me,” she grits as the anger drips from her words. Shoving away from her, I put distance between us. The cold of her not being snug against me hits me hard. And I miss it. I miss her softness.
I glance at her from over my shoulder. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it like that,” I murmur. “I just didn’t see a way out of the darkness.”
For a long moment, she’s silent. I watch as she slides onto the bed, tugging the comforter over her body. Her eyes are still on me, watching me as if I’m about to disappear. But I don’t. I settle in the wingback chair and keep my attention on her.
“There was a lot of darkness back then,” Kalyn says. “But there’s so much more now. If you would’ve just admitted what you felt back then.” It’s not an accusation, but it still bites right down to my gut. Perhaps if I had told her how I felt, things wouldn’t be so fucked-up.
“Maybe,” I acquiesce. “Go to sleep.”
She lifts her head for a moment before asking, “Will you stay?” She doesn’t reach for me, and I don’t go to her, but I realize she doesn’t want to be alone. I ponder her request. Her expression pleading silently, and I nod.
“Yes, I’ll be here all night.” I shouldn’t stay because if I do, the temptation to finally taste her will be too much. But I can’t leave her alone. Not when she’s struggling.
She’s trembling as she slips under the covers, and I realize it’s going to be a tough night.
“How long has he been feeding you that shit?” I ask, praying she says it’s nothing too serious.
But then she responds, “All the time I’ve known him. Pretty much every night to get me to sleep.” Her voice is soft, broken, and my chest tightens both with the need to protect her and the ache to kill Paulo with my bare hands. I want to rip him to shreds.
Her head hits the pillow gently before her lashes flutter along the apples of her cheeks. Silence descends, and I’m able to finally take her in.
Her beauty has always astounded me. She’s a natural. She doesn’t need makeup, or injections, or any of that other shit girls in this town think are what men want. Kalyn is pure, in every fucking way.
My jeans tighten as her soft breaths escape her plump lips, and I have to shut my eyes to focus on something other than how good her warmth would feel right now.
Her phone buzzes on the nightstand, and I quickly push to my feet to grab it. Swiping the screen, I open the message and grin.
When you get home, we need to have a talk. I’m not happy.
Don’t worry, motherfucker, I’m coming for you, and I’m not happy either.
23
Kalyn
When I wake up, I’m alone. For a moment, I’m confused about where I am, but the moment I look around, I realize I’m still at the Thorne mansion. Last night was exhausting. My need for a high hit me, but Cassian walked in and offered me solace in the form of confessions. He finally openly admitted it; the truth was in his words, in his affection. He wanted me as much as I did him, and even now, he still wants me.
There’s no longer a doubt in my mind that he is the one. Only, I have so much baggage to deal with before I can even think about being with Cassian. The tension in the room from last night still lingers, and I wonder just how long it’s going to be before I can go home.
He wants me to stay here, but I have to face Paulo. I can’t disappear and expect him to just accept it. There’ll be anger, threats, and violence, I have no doubt. But I wonder if Cassian’s going to do something. Last night, he vowed to kill the man.
Ice takes hold of my veins, and I close my eyes once more, focusing on my breathing before a panic attack takes over. I don’t want Cassian to get into trouble because of me, again.
He may have helped me last night, but it’s time I fought my own battles. I’d love to lie in bed all day and ignore what’s happening around me. But I can’t. I have to be an adult and face this. No matter how difficult.
I push to my feet as the door slides open and Cassian steps into the room. He’s dressed in a black suit with a white button-up that’s undone, offering a view of smooth, tanned skin.
His eyes are sparkling with something I can’t quite put my finger on. He sets down a tray he’s holding that has breakfast on it, including a mug of steaming coffee and a bottle of chilled water.
“I thought you might be hungry,” he says with a smile that steals my breath and has my heart thudding wildly against my ribs.
“Thank you,” I say, padding barefoot to where he’s set down the tray. I grab the water and quickly swallow down a few mouthfuls before looking at Cassian who’s watching me with amusement. “What?”
“I just like looking at you,” he says.
Narrowing
my gaze, I ask, “What happened to making me pay for my lie?” I pick up the mug of coffee and bring it to my lips as I wait for his answer.
Cassian shrugs it off before walking to the chair he sat in last night. He settles in comfortably before saying, “I will ensure you’ve paid for that, but for now, we’re going to sort out the other shit going on in your life.”
“Has Paulo called? Has he figured out I’m here?” I sit on the bed, facing Cassian as he shakes his head. “Then what’s happened? Is my father doing okay?”
“Yes, he’s fine. I’ve got my men watching him. Don’t worry so much. The first thing we do need to sort out is Paulo. Once he’s out of the picture, you’ll be mine. Without any other complications.”
My mouth falls open; shock must be clear on my expression, judging by Cassian’s chuckle. He rests his left ankle on his right knee before pulling out his cell phone and taps out something. When he’s done, he lands his focused gaze on me.
“So, tell me more about this man you agreed to marry,” he says. “I’ve done some research, and it seems he’s settling into the Narro home as if it’s his.”
I was afraid Paulo wouldn’t want to sell. My folks need the money. And the only way for them to get free of his hold is if they can pay back the money Dad owes Paulo. The problem is, when he saw the house upon our arrival, he said something that clicked in my mind—It could be a good base for us.
“He wants to ensure we’re forever indebted to him. I’m not sure why. My father owes him a lot of money. They’ve known each other for a while, but I don’t know why Paulo is holding my family hostage.”
“You think perhaps your father had a gambling problem? Or something more… sinister?” Cassian asks, and my throat closes with anxiety. I didn’t want to admit it, but the moment Dad introduced me to Paulo, something felt off. I didn’t allow myself to think about it too long. But now that Cassian’s said it, I can’t deny it any longer.
“I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t put it past him. Dad’s always been a prideful man, and when he lost all that money, he said he’d do anything to get it back. And that’s what makes me wonder if Paulo didn’t step in before he met me.”
Cassian nods slowly, his expression filled with thought as he pulls out his phone once more and taps on the screen. “I’ll have the men look into it. I didn’t consider that possibility until you mentioned it.”
“What are you going to do about Paulo?” I ask before sipping the hot liquid, enjoying the warmth as it fills my belly. But even though I’m enjoying the coffee, nervous energy flutters along with the warmth.
“I’m going to make him pay,” Cassian says nonchalantly as if he’s talking about the weather. “He’s coming here for a meeting under the impression we have a deal for him. Once he’s in my house, on my property, I’ll ensure he doesn’t leave until I’ve questioned him and got a confession about what he did to you.”
“What if he doesn’t confess?” I don’t doubt Cassian’s good at what he does, and the men he has working for him will probably get the job done, but deep down, uncertainty sits like a lead weight on my chest.
The corner of his mouth tips upward, and ice trickles from my neck down to the base of my spine, causing me to shiver. I’ve never seen this side of Cassian before. All the years we’d been friends, he was always level-headed, calm and relaxed. But right now, I’m seeing the other side of him, and it’s feral.
“I’ll ensure the bastard talks,” he assures me. “I have my ways. It’s best if you don’t know what we’re doing.”
“Are you…? Are you going to hurt him? Like, would you kill him?”
Cassian glances at me, his stare dancing with answers I probably don’t want to know as he regards me, and I can tell there would be no lie in what his response would be.
“I’ll do whatever I must to ensure you’re safe again,” he confesses before he pushes to his feet. I want to grab him, to keep him here with me. But I don’t. I watch him move through the room before he stops at the windows. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks, but doesn’t look at me.
“Last night was difficult, I had some strange dreams, nightmares, but this morning I do feel better. I think I can do this.” My admission has Cassian turning to face me, his expression filled with pride, and my chest aches for him to come to me, to finally claim me like I know he wants to.
“Good,” he says. “I know you can. Since I first met you, I knew you were strong, Kaly.” A small smile dances on his face before he looks away, robbing me of his handsome face. “I need to go,” he announces suddenly and turns from the window.
“Wait,” I call out as he reaches the door. I pad quietly over to him, stopping inches from his body, feeling his warmth without meaning to. Cassian’s always been warm to me, soothing as if he were a security blanket, and without him, these past few years have been hell.
Cass glances over his shoulder, his hand on the doorknob as he watches me. His brow arches in question, waiting for me to speak, and suddenly, I’m nervous. I haven’t felt the butterflies in my stomach for so long; it’s strange.
“Come back to me,” I finally tell him, hoping I don’t sound like a stupid little girl who’s still holding onto a teenage crush.
The corner of his mouth tilts into one of those familiar smiles. The same one that used to turn me into a bumbling idiot when I was lucky enough to be gifted with it. Cassian is older now, all grown-up, and yet, he still makes me feel like that sixteen-year-old girl falling for her best friend.
“I’ll always come back for you,” he affirms before disappearing, leaving me with thoughts and memories that hold me hostage. Cassian Thorne may have the self-control of a priest, but that night, he admitted to wanting me. It was the only time he ever let go of his restraint.
The sun is high in the sky, and lunch is almost ready. Thankfully being invited to the Thorne manor isn’t as scary as it used to be. The first time I walked into the enormous mansion, I felt so small, as if I was invading a sacred space. But now, I’m here, and it’s as if I belong.
Damien saunters from the kitchen, his blue gaze catching mine. “Little Kaly,” he says with a smile that sends my stomach tumbling wildly. All three Thorne brothers are beautiful, breathtaking, and even though the eldest one looks like an Adonis, it’s the middle brother, my best friend, who has my mind running wildly.
I offer a shy smile. “Hello, Damien,” I greet him. Most girls at school can’t get a word out when he’s around. And I can see why. He’s dressed all in black, reminding me of a vampire about to feast on my blood.
“He’s out back,” he informs me, knowing I’m here for Cassian.
“Thanks,” I mumble as I rush by him, my cheeks hot from embarrassment. When I reach the back porch, I take in the number of students already at the pool. At first, I didn’t want to come here, to be surrounded by people I didn’t fit in with, but Cassian promised to look after me.
As he always does.
“There she is,” he says when he sees me, leaving the grill to Finn. When he reaches me, his arm snakes around my neck, and he pulls me into his hold. Since I turned seventeen a couple of weeks ago, he’s been holding me more often. Being affectionate, whereas when we first met, he never came close to me.
“Quite the party,” I remark, watching the girls in tiny bikinis as they splash around in the pool, and I’m jealous, wanting to be that comfortable in my own skin.
“It is. But you’re here now, so it’s even better,” Cassian whispers in my ear, sending heat coursing through my body. If he only knew how I truly felt. “Want something to drink?”
“You have the hard stuff?” I tease, looking up into those endless teal eyes.
He chuckles, and I bask in the vibration from his chest. “You can have one drink, but only one.” His warning is clear. Cass knows I drink and get high. He’s been there on more than one occasion when I’ve been out of my mind. He’s been my rock, holding me steady.
When he hands me some fruity drink, I can’t help b
ut roll my eyes, earning myself another chuckle. I sip the fizzy drink and linger around, keeping close to Cassian because the rest of the kids are all a year older than me, which has me nervous to talk to any of them.
The darker the sky gets, the rowdier the party, and as soon as the sky has burst with a prickling of white stars, there are couples skinny dipping in the pool, some have taken to the hot tub. I lean back in one of the loungers when a couple of guys surround me, one has a joint, which he offers me, and I thankfully accept.
After a few pulls on it, I feel the high hitting my veins, taking me to a place where my anxiety no longer exists, and soon, I’m shimmying out of my jean shorts and tank top. Underneath is a bright green bikini that barely covers what needs to be hidden.
I’m about to head for the pool when a firm grip on my hips startles me, causing a yelp to tumble from my lips. The warm breath of someone is at my ear in seconds, and then his voice cuts through my high.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Cassian hisses with a threat of danger in his voice. His lips send electricity zipping down my body like sparks from a firework setting off to burn me alive.
“A bikini,” I sass him, tugging away so I can face him. When I do manage to spin around, my breath is knocked from my lungs when I take in his thundering expression. “What?”
“You’re not fucking wearing that,” he grits as his hand snags my arm and picks up my clothes with the other before he pulls me into the house, all the way up the stairs until we’re in his bedroom. Alone. The word trickles through my mind, and my thighs squeeze together at the possessiveness in his eyes.
“What’s wrong with this? The other girls have similar—”
“You’re not the other fucking girls,” he says, pushing me up against his bedroom door. I’ve only ever been in here once before. And right now, I’m practically naked while he’s still fully clothed. I’m at quite the disadvantage.