by Jodi Payne
Knowing that didn’t make anything easier, it just made him feel less…stupid. He sipped his beer and paced the room. He was starting to feel anxious and tried to make himself breathe.
“If your boss lets you, and you need to, come now. Come and stay for a couple of weeks. I can help with rent. You can rest your soul for a bit, breathe and relax.”
“I can’t think about that right now. I just need some sleep. It’s the middle of the night is all. I’m fine.” He could take something. All of Will’s shit was still in the medicine cabinet.
“It is. You rest hard. I’m going to have a long shower, I think, and then decide what to do next. You take care of you, honey. I miss you.”
“I’m sorry you can’t sleep.” He sighed. “I miss you too. I do. So much.” He’d take a shower too, and crash, and think tomorrow.
“Get some good sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Later today. You know what I mean.”
“I do. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, Matthew.” He hung up, because otherwise they could be saying goodnight forever.
A hot shower would help him calm down. And then he’d sleep. If not, his hands just might shake until the Fourth of July.
6
“Emma, did you check for eggs?” Matthew rolled his eyes as she came out of the house wearing a ladybug costume and a rainbow tutu and her tap shoes. Oh, no. Those damn shoes would fill up with chicken shit in a second. “You can’t wear those shoes.”
“Daddy!”
“No. Turkey. Go change them and tell your sister to feed the dogs and give them water.”
Jesus, he was hot as hell, and he needed to make some lists.
Go get groceries.
Pay bills.
Have one of the guys build a ramp down from the porch.
Hire a pool guy.
Meet with Krissy re finding milk goats for Sophie’s 4-H project.
First, though, he needed a big glass of tea. He grabbed his glass and got some ice, grinning at Emma who came back through with her galoshes on. That worked.
“Sister says she’s doing her hair right now, but when she’s done, she’ll feed them.”
Matthew didn’t roll his eyes. “Is she crying yet?”
“Uh-huh. She wants fishtail braids…”
“Daddy!” He’d heard his name called every which way possible, but that long, drawn-out version with the sob at the end was the one he liked the least.
“Ooh. Good luck!” Emma ducked out the kitchen door.
“Coming, baby. Don’t tug yourself bald-headed.”
“I hate being stupid! Everyone else does it!” She threw her brush down on the bathroom sink. “I’m so mad, Daddy.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t mind helping you out.” He met her eyes in the mirror. “Hand me your brush, and I’ll fix you up.”
She handed him her brush with a sigh. “I tried. I watched the YouTube video that Sheri sent me, and I combed my stupid curls straight so it wouldn’t tangle and everything. I hate my hair.”
“I love your hair. It reminds me of your momma’s. It’s like the sunshine.”
“Aunt Rachel says the chemicals in the pool are going to turn it green, and I need a special shampoo. Did she tell you? She told me she would.”
“You’ve done great with Mamaw and Papaw’s pool. I’ll find out what she has you wash your hair with there.” Lord knew what it would do to his. “Have I ever told you I was still in high school when I found my first gray hair?”
“High School?” Soph sounded horrified. “Well, thank God I have Momma’s hair. Poor Em.”
“Right?” He started the braiding process, being careful not to pull. “Did I tell you my friend from New York is coming for the Fourth?”
Did I tell you I think I might be in love? Did I tell you I’m a little stupid for him? How about how worried I am that he’ll get out here in the sticks and hate it? Hate me?
“You have a friend from New York? Like the big city?”
“Yes, remember? Tyler?” He remembered. He ached with missing the fine son of a bitch.
“Oh, him. Little Tim said he thinks Tyler is your imaginary friend.”
“Little Tim needs to learn to keep his mouth shut. He’s not imaginary, just a long ways away.” Just in a sweet little apartment. Just at a bar. Just not here.
Yet.
“Well he’ll know better when Tyler gets here right? You never have friends over. Is he nice?” Sophia patted the braid he was making.
“He is. He so is. He’s a good guy. He likes to talk to people.” Matthew liked talking to Tyler.
“Will he talk to me? Does he like kids? Does he have any? How old is he? How long is he staying? He can have the trundle bed in my room. If you need it.” Sophia beamed at him in the mirror.
“He will talk to you. He asks about y’all all the time, but he doesn’t have any babies of his own. I think he’s going to need to stretch out, so I’ll let him decide where to sleep, but your trundle bed is only little.” Hopefully Tyler would sleep in his room, but that wasn’t a prerequisite to being here.
“Okay.” Sophia looked at him again, eyes shining in the mirror at him, “I’m glad you have a friend, Daddy.”
“Me too. I’m so excited for y’all to meet him. Now you got braids, so get on and feed the dogs before they eat your sister.”
“Oh is that a thing?” Sophia hopped up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m gooooiinnngggg, Daaaaddddyyyy.” She moved off in a slow running motion, then giggled and took off. “Thank you for the braids!”
“You’re welcome, baby. Go on.” He headed out to check on Emma and the eggs, finding her sitting on the ground with two hens on her lap, talking to them.
Good lord and butter.
His phone chimed softly, the special text tone that he’d set up for Tyler. It was early in New York, Tyler usually slept long past this hour.
Can I come now? Don’t call. Just say yes or no.
Yes. What the fuck? Like he’d say no.
I’m packing. I’ll get the next flight. Sorry, we’ll talk when I get there. Don’t worry. I’m fine. I’m good. I miss you.
What airport? Text me when I’m supposed to pick you up. Oh Jesus. Groceries. He needed groceries. Hopefully Momma and Daddy could take the girls.
I’ll text you when I get a flight. Soon. Thank you.
See you soon.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Okay.
He picked up the phone and called Momma. “Hey, Momma, y’all busy? I need some help. I got company coming in and I got to get ready.”
He had to do…everything. Today.
Because Tyler was on his way.
7
On the ground. We’re taxiing.
Tyler texted Matthew and then looked out the airplane window. Just hours ago he’d been standing in his apartment in New York after another sleepless night, and now he was in Texas. His first plane ride ever, and he wasn’t nervous; he’d never felt better, breathed better in his whole life.
Something about the air, it even looked hot in Houston. But he didn’t care that the sun was shining, and it seemed like a gorgeous day. Not really. He cared about the guy in the cowboy hat that would be waiting for him in baggage claim.
Waiting for you down here at baggage, honey. Just like that. He’d known Matthew would be there, but to know he was right? That was even better.
Soon.
God, he probably looked like hell. He ran his fingers through his hair to straighten it out, blinked his eyes to clear some of the tired out of them.
It took forever to get off the plane. Tyler tucked his backpack higher on his shoulder as he hurried up the breezeway and into the busy airport, then followed the signs and the crowd and eventually found where he was going. For some reason he’d thought Matthew would be easy to spot, but tall and in a cowboy hat described nearly every man as far as he could see.
“Hey, honey. You look like a breath of fresh air.” He turned and there was Matthew, two cups of ice
d coffee in his hands. “I brought you something to drink. How was your flight?”
He looked up into those deep gray eyes and smiled. “Hi.” Oh, God. You’re more beautiful than I remember. “It was good. Long. It was my first flight ever.”
“I’m so glad to see you, honey. You ready to come home with me? You hungry?” Matthew held his gaze, watching him, drinking him in.
“I’m ready.” He nodded and reached for his coffee, swallowing hard. “I just packed… I have a suitcase.”
“Good deal. Let’s grab that, get the truck, and we’ll get some food on the way home. You must be starving.” Matthew winked at him. “Houston’s traffic is hell, but once we get outside of town, it’ll be a nice drive.”
“Food sounds good. A nice drive sounds better.” He jumped when the horn blared, and the baggage belt started moving. “Jesus. Is the place on fire?”
“Possibly. This is Houston.” Matthew rolled his eyes. “Crazy busy place. The ranch will be a change of pace. I bought steaks for supper tonight. The pool’s done, and the outdoor kitchen is back in business.”
Matthew led him to the baggage claim, staying close, offering him slow, happy smiles.
“You have an outdoor kitchen?” Is there anything Matthew didn’t have on the ranch? “Steak sounds amazing. It all does. When do I get to kiss you?”
“When we get out of this crush of people. I want to be able to spend a minute or two on it.”
“Okay. Perfect.” Tyler smiled at that. He’d like a minute or ten too. He grabbed his bag off the belt as soon as he saw it, so ready to get out of this crowd. “Thank you for the coffee, I needed it.”
“I always am thirsty to death when I get off a plane. I thought it would be a good pick me up.” Matthew took his bag like it weighed nothing and led him out into blazing heat. “The truck is right over here. The big gray dually.”
“Big man, big truck. Totally what I expected.” He started making a list in his head of all the firsts he’d had since he got up this morning. He had a feeling it was going to be a long, long list by the end of the day. “This will be my first ride in a truck.”
“No shit?” Matthew looked utterly shocked, gray eyes wide. “That’s…this is going to be the best truck ride ever.”
“You know it.” He laughed as Matthew put his suitcase in the back and then climbed in. He still couldn’t believe he was here. “Whoa. This is nice. Fancy truck.”
“Thanks, honey. I like driving it.” Matthew leaned into the truck and put his hat brim up on the dashboard. “I like seeing you in it. So much.”
“Where are we headed? How long is the drive?” He got comfortable and studied all the bells and whistles in the dash. “I’m not usually in the front seat of a car, either. This is so weird.”
Matthew settled in his seat and started the engine, turning the a/c up on high. “Can I kiss you, honey? Please?”
“I’ve been waiting all day.” He braced an elbow on the console and leaned across it.
That huge, warm hand cupped his face, and Matthew brought their lips together, kissing him like he was precious, like he was welcome and necessary.
He whimpered into the kiss and tangled his fingers into Matthew’s shirt, holding on like he needed proof that this was real even though that strong hand and the cowboy’s rich scent made it difficult to doubt. He’d made the right choice. He knew it when he looked into Matthew’s eyes and he knew it even more now. Matthew was what had been missing.
“Oh, honey. God, I’ve missed you.” Matthew’s voice was rough as a cob, and it felt amazing, to hear how much Matthew needed him.
“It doesn’t make sense, but I’ve decided I don’t care. This is right.” He took another quick kiss and smiled at Matthew. “I can’t wait to meet your kids. See the ranch. Everything.”
“Lunch first, hmm? What sounds good? Mexican? Barbecue? Burgers?” Matthew put his seatbelt and his sunglasses on, then backed out of the parking space and into the sunshine.
He pulled his seatbelt back on as well and dug his sunglasses and a Mets cap out of his backpack. “All of that sounds good. Man, the sun is bright.” He leaned on the console again and tapped Matthew’s thigh with his fingers.
He could hardly believe this was happening. This morning he was an exhausted wreck and now he felt great. He was even hungry.
“Let’s grab some Mexican then. I have a craving for chips and salsa.” It didn’t take any time for them to be away from the airport. “Lord, it’s good to see you. My babies are so excited to meet you they can’t hardly bear it.”
“You told them about me? I mean…what did you tell them?”
“That you were my very good friend, and that I love to talk to you. Sophia offered to let you sleep in her trundle bed. I told her I thought you needed more legroom.” Matthew glanced over at him. “I had a guest room made up for you. I want you to know, you’re welcome in my room, but I wanted you to have the choice.”
Beds. God, he hadn’t even considered the whole bed situation, but of course Matthew would have had to with the girls and everything. He knew what bed he wanted to be in, he didn’t come all this way to sleep in the guest room. “Oh, the trundle bed. Definitely. Sophia and I will do our nails and talk about boys.”
“Sophia would love that. Bone deep. Her daddy might need someone to keep him warm, though.”
“Don’t you have a dog? What’s a ranch without a dog?” He grinned and drew a hand over Matthew’s arm from shoulder to wrist, teasing.
“I have Lucys. Westley and Buttercup are my breeding pair. I have three other bitches that I stud out—Lily, Rosie, and Marigold.”
“That’s a lot of dogs. What are you breeding? I bet Westley and Buttercup would keep you plenty warm. Great names, by the way. One of my favorite movies.”
“Mine too. You know about Lucys? Some folks call ’em blue lacys? They’re the smartest dogs on earth. Born and bred in Texas. I train them up to work the cattle and the goats.”
“I have never heard of them, but I like dogs. No dog is taking my place in your bed tonight, though. Sophia and I can have a slumber party some other time.”
Matthew grinned and reached out, stroked his leg. “Good. I want you like all get out.”
Oh, that was good to hear.
“That’s what I needed to hear you say.” He took Matthew’s hand and tangled their fingers.
Matthew held on until they turned off onto an off-ramp and pulled into a little building with a sign that said La Senorita. “Lunch.”
“Yeah? Awesome. Wow. This is kind of the middle of nowhere, huh?” He climbed out of the truck and looked around at all the open space. “This is a lot of…parking lot.”
“Yessir. There’s a lot more space everywhere here than you’re used to. I love holes in the walls. Hole in the walls? Holes in the wall? Little restaurants.” Matthew held the door open for him, and it was a little place decorated in wild colors and ancient Dos Equis posters, but it smelled like spicy heaven.
“Thank you, sir.” He smiled at Matthew and went in. “Oh wow. What a neat place. Smells so good.”
“Right? I need to decide whether I want those enchiladas or a combination plate.” Matthew beamed at the young man that came over. “Table for two please.”
They were the only people in the place, and in seconds they had a huge basket of hot chips and a tub of salsa, plus iced waters.
“What do you want to drink, honey?”
“Oh, just a Coke please.” He dove right into the chips. “These are warm!” He took a bite. “Oh. Yummy.”
“One Coke and an iced tea, please, sir. And can we get some queso and some guacamole? I’m starving.”
He watched the server hurry off and dipped another chip into the salsa. “This is so good. I want whatever you’re having. I have so much to learn here, I don’t even recognize most of what’s on this menu.”
“Combination plate it is then—enchilada, taco and a tamale. You can taste it all.”
“Perfect. I
’m so happy to be here with you. I’m up for anything. Whatever you want me to know, see, do, learn. I want to feel like I can do this, you know? I mean, you’re not going to move to New York, so…” He was terrified. He felt like he was on another planet and he’d only been here an hour. But it was okay, because this was Matthew’s world.
“I’ll show you everything.” Matthew held his gaze, those eyes smiling for him. “I want to give you a space to breathe, to heal. I want to—shit, honey. I want to love on you and make you happy.”
He nodded as the server brought their drinks. “I’m sorry. I’m just slower at this than you are. It’s never been because I didn’t want to. I want you to know that. It’s never been you that I was questioning.”
“No apologies. We’ve spent a day and a half together. I’m the one that jumps in. Always have been. My brother is fixin’ to swallow his own tongue.” Matthew looked up at the server. “Two number ones, please, sir. Thank you.”
“So everybody knows? I hope he likes me.” The most important thing was to make sure the girls did, but it would be nice if he could make a good impression on the rest of Matthew’s family, they were all so close.
“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t been graphic, especially with my folks, but yes. I wouldn’t ask you to be here if I was ashamed. That’s not good for anyone.” Matthew sighed softly, expression serious. “I think about this stuff a lot. One of the things about being a father, everything has a bit of worry about how your babies read things from you. Is it important for them to know I’m bisexual? Is that strange? Do I lie to them? Do I not? What would their momma think? I want to do what’s best for them first, and I tell them to tell the truth, first. I need to tell the truth.”
“I’ve worried about this too. I’ll do whatever you want. Tell them or don’t, wait and let them ask, whatever you think is best. Do they know about the other people on the farm? Your cowboys?”
“They know that Krissy has a wife. They know that Ben and Little Tim kiss and are in love. They’ve known them their whole lives, though. Hell, Krissy’s Lisa? Was my Deb’s best friend in high school.”