by Jodi Payne
Charging bulls, flying bullets, people everywhere; he wasn’t cut out for this shit. He picked up his phone and opened his travel app again, staring at the flight that was going out in the morning. He tapped it. It was pricey, flying last minute, but if he went while Matt wasn’t home and Jonas was here to watch the girls that would be easiest.
All he had to do was tap “Book Now”.
He could apologize later. Matt might even pretend to understand.
He’d been here twice before today, but this time he could do it. He could do it right now. Click the button, pack his shit, call an Uber.
Tyler sighed, shaking his head at himself. He could do it, but he would be a giant chicken-shit asshole.
He closed the app again. After everything Matt had done for him, everything that had happened, if he was going to go, he needed to stand up to Matt and explain it.
He sat heavily on the bed and looked at the empty half where Matt should be, chest so tight it was hard to get a breath. This place was crazy with Matt here, but it made no sense without Matt in it. What if Matt didn’t make it through surgery? What if he was more hurt than he let on? What if those assholes came back? What if—
What was it going to take to stop his hands shaking?
He looked at his phone once more and scrolled to Matt’s number. He needed to talk to Matt so bad it hurt. His thumb hovered over the number, but he knew this time that he wouldn’t make the call. It was one night. Matt needed his sleep and Tyler needed to…what did Sophia say? He needed to cowboy up.
They’d said goodbye earlier. He’d said, “I love you”. If anything happened, Matt knew. Unlike Will. Tyler would never know for sure what Will thought.
He stood up and wandered out of the bedroom again, leaving his phone behind. There was nothing that thing could help him with tonight.
He wandered out into the kitchen and peered into the stuffed fridge, shaking his head at all the comfort food. These people knew how to take care of each other, didn’t they? God, what a fucking lousy day. Poor Sophia and Emma…what would he have done without those girls?
He wandered up to check on them again, laughing softly despite himself thinking about the determined little look on Emma gave him as she’d said, “We can do this”. Matt’s eyes in a baby face. And Sophia, trying so hard to be brave, to be the big sister, to prove something to him like his opinion mattered. He was proud of them. Genuinely proud, and he realized, with a little awe and a little wonder, that he’d miss them terribly if he went back to New York. He’d miss them because he cared about them. They’d found some little spot in his heart that he never knew wanted children and he loved them.
He stuck his head in Emma’s room to watch her sleep, suddenly horrified to find she wasn’t there. Heart pounding again for a different reason, he hurried down the hall and checked the bathroom, but it was empty.
He opened his mouth to call Emma’s name when Sophia came shuffling out of her room with Emma in tow. “Oh…” Oh, thank God. “Girls?”
“Uncle Tyler.” Sophia moved right into his arms, and Emma followed.
Uncle Tyler… Oh wow. “I’m right here. Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“We can’t sleep,” they said as one sisterly unit, and he couldn’t tell one voice from the other.
“Me neither,” he admitted. Not one wink.
“I’m worried.”
“Can we call Daddy?”
“Oh, I wish we could. I almost did, but he needs his rest before surgery, and we have to be brave for him.”
“I don’t feel brave right now,” Sophia admitted softly.
“You know what? I don’t either. But we can help each other, right? I’ll tell you what. Let’s have a sleepover.”
Emma peered up at him, eyes hopeful. “Yeah?”
“Yes. Get your favorite friends and your pillows and come on downstairs.”
Emma hopped up and down and took off down the hall. “Thank you, Uncle Tyler!”
Sophia let him go and wiped tears from her eyes like she was good and done with that, thank you very much. It was as sweet as it was beautiful. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Go get your stuff and bring Emma down okay?”
“Yes, sir.” Sophia took a few steps away and stopped to smile at him over her shoulder. “Love you.”
Tyler did his best not to gasp, thinking maybe his heart might explode. He managed a slow nod. “I love you too, Soph.”
Nope. No airplanes. He wasn’t going anywhere. Everything he loved in the world was in this crazy house, living this busy life, and taking care of each other just because that’s what family did.
20
“Good eggs.”
Tyler leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping his coffee and watching Jonas eat. It was oh-my-fucking-God early, and Jonas was dressed and about go do…something. Outside. Fix fences. Ranch stuff.
He hadn’t slept except for a couple of desperate hours around four a.m. when his body shut his mind down for him. Otherwise he’d been awake. Like, awake. He’d just given everyone bowls of ice cream and they’d climbed into Matt’s bed and watched Animal Planet. He’d stayed awake until they finally dozed off and then he’d let his eyes close too.
The girls were still sound asleep. He was only up because Jonas had knocked on the door at five thirty and asked for eggs.
“The sausage is almost done.” Just the thought of real food at six in the morning turned his stomach. He was a bartender. He went to bed at four and got up at noon. But Jonas was here to work today and was doing Matt and Krissy a big favor, so eggs and sausage were happening.
Was he a bartender, though? He was pretty sure he was signing on for shoot-outs, bulls crashing picnics, a crazy huge family and milking evil goats.
And Jonas.
Talk about the polar opposite of Matthew—whipcord lean and short where Matt was tall and broad, with piercing dark eyes, fierce and angry where Matt was easy-going and joyous.
Krissy tapped on the door and let herself in. “Lord, man. What are you doing up? You don’t have to wait on this asshole.”
“I’m adjusting to ranch life.” He tried, but he sounded about as enthusiastic as a bartender at six a.m. could be. “There’s coffee. How are you feeling? Shouldn’t you be resting up?” He found her a mug. At least he made good coffee.
“I’m fixin’ to feed. You know you’re not—Matthew didn’t bring you here to cook for folks.” Krissy poked Jonas in the chest. “And you. You need to stop being all imperious. You aren’t the lord of this manor, dickhead.”
“Pardon me?”
“You want to be all macho and shit, you go back to your fancy-assed club and be. You want to cowboy up, cook your own fucking eggs.”
Oh, Jesus Christ. What now? A brawl in the fucking kitchen? “It’s cool, Krissy. I got this.” He said that, but he still backed up about five feet. Maybe six.
Jonas stood up, eyes icy, jaw tight. “Bitch.”
“Fudgepacker.”
“Carpetmuncher.” Jonas stepped into Krissy’s space, then he grabbed her up. “Jesus, girl. Y’all scared me.”
“Sorry. Careful…watch the shoulder.” Krissy’s voice sounded a little tight to Tyler, but she returned the hug like she meant it.
Thank God.
“Jesus Christ.” He exhaled hard and bent over, bracing his hands on his knee and feeling a little dizzy. He’d had about enough of adrenaline for a little while. “I thought you were going to have a brawl in Matthew’s kitchen. I was ready to throw this pot of hot coffee on the two of you. Fuck.”
Suddenly he was moving, Krissy and Jonas putting him on the sofa and stretching him out. “Easy, boy. In and out. We were messing with each other.”
“He’s had a bad time of it,” Krissy murmured. “The boss will kill me if I break him.”
“Yeah, he’s in love, and you know Matthew.”
“I’m not broken, I’m just…” Tired. Worried. Frazzled. Maybe a little terrified. Just a little bit. H
e waved his hand. “Matt’s in surgery. The sausages are burning.” He was fine, he just needed some coffee. He’d texted Matt after he got the eggs going, but he didn’t get a response. That probably meant Matt was being prepped for surgery already.
“I’ll get the sausages.” Krissy disappeared, leaving him with short, skinny, and intimidating.
“Matthew’s going to be fine. The big doofus is too fucking lucky to die.” Jonas didn’t look terribly worried. “What do you think of ranch life so far? You bored yet?”
“Ha.” Bored? Was he serious? Tyler stared at Jonas. “Well, let’s see. In the last three days I got on my first ever airplane, rode in my first truck, had my first queso, met dozens of people—and those are just the ones you guys are related to—and another twenty or so cowboys. A bull tried to break up the cookout, my lover was shot, I got soaked in goat milk, and Matt and I had sex for the first time.” He sighed. “I tried to keep two sweet little girls from fretting over their father. Oh…and then…and then some skinny version of Rambo woke me up at five thirty a.m. Do I sound bored?”
He sounded hysterical actually, and he knew it. He sighed. “Sorry.” He tried a grin. “You’re better looking than Rambo.”
“Fuck, I hope so.” Jonas nodded to him. “You’ll be okay. Trial by fire, and that’s the truth. This whole deal is just the good lord’s way to make sure you got your shit together.”
R u up? Matt. It was Matt.
“It’s him.” Yes, babe. I’m here.
His phone rang. “I want to come home. Send someone to get me.”
“Isn’t your mom there?” He looked up at Jonas, partly relieved and partly worried. “Are you allowed to come home? Are they releasing you?”
Jonas looked up from his own phone. “He’s stoned, man. Just agree. He won’t remember this.”
Okay. That was good. Better. “You know what? Never mind. Yes. Someone will come bring you home. I promise.”
“Okay. I’m real tired, and I miss the hell out of you. Do you miss the city? Do we need to get your things, honey? You got to have important things.”
“Today, all I need is you. Come home, and we’ll rest. We’ll talk about the other things later.” He did need to get his things soon, but God, that sounded so good. Some rest, with Matt. Just a little quiet.
“Sister says she’s going to come to the house to meet you. I told her maybe next week. We need a couple days.”
To meet him? What the hell, Matt was stoned. “Sounds great, babe. I think a couple of days to ourselves will be perfect. Don’t worry about a thing. Jonas is here, and he’s going to handle everything.” He winked at Jonas.
“Jonas is a turd. One hell of a big brother. Oh, they say it’s time, honey.” Matt’s voice got sharper. “It’ll be about forty-five minutes, then recovery, then home.”
“Tell him goodbye, son,” he heard Peg say.
“I’ll be here. You be good and listen to your doctors. Love you.” He was going to tell Matt that every chance he got, whether Matt was going to remember it or not. Life was too fucking short for someone not to know. “Bye, babe.”
“Love you. See you soon.”
He heard a rustle, then Peg’s voice. “It should be quick. He just needs the bullets out and repair done. He’s mostly exhausted. Seriously.”
“Thank you. It was good to talk to him. If he asks again, we’re all fine here.” He took a breath and leaned back into the couch cushions.
“Thank you for hanging in there. He had faith you would have the girls.”
“I do. They trust me. Take care of him and keep me updated? Thank you.” He hung up because too much more of that was going to get him all worked up again.
“Go eat your breakfast, Jonas. We got shit to do.” Krissy handed him another cup of coffee. “Folks will start coming by at nine, dropping off food, looking for gossip. Can you handle that?”
Did he have a choice? “Yep. I’m good.” He sipped the coffee and let the bitterness ground him. “Thanks.”
Gossip. He didn’t have any, so they were going to be disappointed. And where the hell was he going to put more food? He had enough to feed a crowd already, which was handy since by lunchtime it sounded like they’d have one.
“Momma will take them all home with her.” Jonas nodded like he knew something. “I’m staying with her. If the girls want, they can come with us tonight, but I bet you they want to be close to their father.”
“Thanks. I’d bet money Matt will want them home too.” Everybody safe under one roof. He had no doubt. “Thanks for being here to help out. I’m still pretty useless around here.”
“Shit, we need you here. We’re three guys down, and Bubba won’t relax if he thinks those girls aren’t safe.” Jonas met his eyes, so serious. “Those little ones are his soul. He’s trusting you with them.”
He nodded. “I know.” He understood the trust Matt put in him, and he wasn’t scared of it. He was starting to understand why Matt moved so fast too. This life didn’t give you a lot of time to think about anything. He’d been here a very short time but already felt protective of Emma and Sophia.
“Uncle Tyler, where’s Daddy?” Sophia rubbed her eyes, looking like death warmed over, heading for him.
Uncle Tyler. That was just so…he’d never get tired of it. He gave her a smile and fudged the truth just a little. “He’ll be home in a couple of hours.” He patted the couch next to him. “Say hello to Krissy and Uncle Jonas.”
She went to Jonas and Krissy, hugged them both, and then came to him, snuggling right in. He pulled the blanket around her, and she sighed, almost asleep again.
He looked at Krissy and shrugged. “There wasn’t a lot of sleeping in the house last night, so they’re going to need a quiet day. They usually do things with dogs and chickens and… I don’t even know. Can you guys handle that for them today?”
“I can.” Krissy’s smile was warm. “You worry about the girls and making sure the boss is comfy and settled for a few days while he recovers. We’ll handle the ranch.”
“Thanks. Really. That’s really nice of you.” Comfy and settled was about how he was starting to feel. Maybe he could get in a nap right here before people started showing up.
“Come on, lady. Let’s get to work.” Jonas gave her a grin and a pat on the ass.
“I will bite that hand off, Mister, and feed your skanky ho self to Lisa.”
Oh, that was nice. Krissy was quick.
“So I’m a ho because I didn’t show up with a truck and a bottle of tequila, move in and never leave?” Jonas winked at him.
“Yeah, that’s so why. Come on, tell me stories about the big city while I work.” She grabbed Jonas by one arm and dragged him out.
Tyler looked around the quiet room. God, that was so much better. He tucked the blanket higher over Sophia and sipped his coffee. He should probably sleep, but the quiet was just so nice right now.
Did he miss New York? Why did Matt have to ask him that question? He was just trying to keep his head above water here.
But it was good to know the worry was on Matt’s mind. They’d talk. Sometime soon, they’d talk. First they needed to just get Matt home.
21
Matthew hurt something fierce, but he didn’t so much as peep, because Momma was already panicking about him coming home so soon.
He didn’t care.
He needed his house, he needed his family, and dammit, he needed his lover.
“You want anything to eat, son?” Momma asked, and he looked at Rachel, panicked. God no. Barfage.
“How about a limeade after he gets home, Momma? We can go together.”
If it didn’t hurt to move, Matthew would squeeze Rachel’s hand in thanks.
“Oh,” Momma frowned. “I don’t know if we should leave Matty alone. He’s going to need help.”
“Momma, Tyler is there. Krissy is there. Lisa? There. Jonas? The girls? A dozen cowboys? Let. It. Go.” Oh, go Sister!
Momma let out a long-suffering sigh. �
��Honestly, Rachel.”
The car ride was quiet until they pulled into the driveway. “Do you want us to take the girls tonight?”
“Can I call? I don’t know how they’ll be.” If they needed him, he would be there for them.
“We’re home, Matty. Just ask them. No pressure, right, Momma?” Rachel’s tone made it clear there was only one right answer.
“I’m only trying to help.”
“We know, Momma.” Rachel parked and looked at them both. “You okay walking, Matt? You want me to get Tyler to help?”
“I’m okay. Seriously. I could probably have driven, but—” It had been damn good not to have to.
He eased himself out of the truck, breathing through the pain. He’d get in, have a sandwich and a pain pill, and watch TV.
As it turned out, nobody had to go get Tyler, or his girls, or any of the folks already milling around his house. “You’re home!” Tyler’s kiss was sweet and gentle on his cheek, but his girls were a little less subtle, wrapping themselves around him.
“Are you okay, Daddy?”
“We missed you!”
“Easy, girls.” Tyler sighed. “What did we talk about? Easy.”
“Do you have stitches?”
“Did you keep the bullets?”
“Do you want a drink?”
“Or a sammich?”
“Tyler, honey, please.” Help me.
“Girls.” Tyler didn’t shout, but his tone was stern. “Go in and clear off the couch, please. Peg? Would you…?”
“Oh. Yes, of course, Tyler. You heard him, inside, girls.” Momma herded Emma and Sophia away.
“Let me clear out your kitchen.” Rachel gave his good elbow a little squeeze and followed Momma inside.
“Sorry. They’ve been worried. Are you okay? You want to lean on me?” Tyler didn’t wait for an answer, ducking under his good shoulder.
“I know. I’m home now. Glad to be here too.” Tyler smelled so good—like home. He made it up the porch steps, feeling better already. “Lord have mercy, hospitals are nowhere to be.”