We stared at each other as Tessa held the door open. I licked my lips, she swallowed hard, and I leaned down just as my phone in my pocket started to ring.
“Fuck,” I muttered and pulled it out of my pocket. Once again, the moment was lost. “It’s Paul,” I said out loud.
She smiled warmly up at me. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
I nodded and swiped my screen to answer it as I walked toward my door. “Yo.”
“I’m getting married!” Paul shouted into my ear.
I stopped walking. “What?”
“I’m getting married,” he repeated.
“To who?”
“Andi. I mean, Joss.”
I blinked and tried to clear my head. He wasn’t making sense. The last I’d heard from Paul a few weeks ago, he was taking his roommate Andi on a date. Then he told me he thought he was falling in love with her. Now he was saying a different woman’s name. “Who’s Joss?”
“Andi.”
I slipped my key into the lock of my room. “You’re not making any sense.”
He sighed. “Shit went down last week. I’m not at liberty to tell you except Joss is FBI.”
I stopped walking again just inside my room. “FBI?”
“Again, I can’t tell you details, but yes, she’s FBI and was using an alias.”
The door closed behind me, and I moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “She’s FBI and was working for S&R?”
“Undercover.”
“What?” I breathed, drawing out the word.
“Again, I can’t tell—”
“Whatever. I get it, but I want to know everything when you can tell me.”
“Of course. It’s crazy, man, but yeah, the case is still going on, and actually, her best friend from D.C. is here to help.”
“She’s still undercover?”
“Yeah, and shit, I probably shouldn’t have told you her real name until I cleared it with her. I’m just so excited.”
“I won’t tell anyone. Congrats, dude.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Did you set a date yet?”
“Not yet. It all depends on the case.”
“Right. Well, let me know when you do.”
“You going to bring Tessa?”
“What?” I snorted.
“Don’t play coy. I know you have a thing for her. You’re in L.A. now with her—”
“As friends,” I stated—or lied. I wasn’t sure. Tessa and I were getting closer, but at the same time, we were still just friends.
“Did you fuck her yet?”
I rolled my eyes. “No. It’s not like that.”
“But you want to.”
“Of course I want to. Who wouldn’t?”
“Well, seal the deal, man. Bring her to my wedding.”
“You don’t even know when you’re getting married.”
“If it’s up to me, it will be soon.”
“Let me know.”
“I will.”
First Gabe got engaged, and now Paul was too? And I was starting to have feelings for a woman, too? What the fuck was in the water at Saddles & Racks?
The next Friday, Shelby booked an evening with me. She was my first regular client and lived in L.A., but she came to Vegas at least once a month. When she did, we both knew what the date was all about. We’d meet at a bar, have a few drinks, and then go back to her hotel room where I’d give her several orgasms before calling it a night. It was easy, familiar, and I knew exactly what she wanted and liked. It helped that we’d had a relationship for almost ten years.
Most of my other dates were a shot in the dark when it came to pleasing them in the bedroom. Some wanted to be in control; they knew what they wanted. Some wanted me to figure it out on my own and made me try everything until I got them humming. Others wanted shit that their exes or whoever would never do.
One chick told me her ex never went down on her because he didn’t like it. I told her that all straight men loved eating pussy, and it wasn’t because we were eating pussy. It was because it made us feel good to make the woman feel good. We were in control and making them squirm from the pleasure we were giving to them.
They say women are complicated, but when she was grinding against your mouth and holding your head against her pussy, you’d just figured out what made her tick, and it was only a matter of time before she came with the swipe of your tongue. Even though I’d never been in a relationship before, I knew that if I were to ever get in a fight with a chick, I’d just have to make her come with my mouth and the fight would be over. So, ladies, if a man says that he doesn’t like going down on you, that means he doesn’t like pussy.
End of fucking story.
I walked inside the Velveteen Rabbit in the art district. It had an eclectic vintage feel to it and was where I met Shelby every time. I spotted her in the back against the wall, sitting on one of the velvet couches. When she saw me approach, her eyes widened, and a smile graced her face.
“Hey,” I greeted as she stood, and I pressed my lips to hers.
Shelby was in her forties with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes, with a little meat on her bones. Over the years she’d had many relationships, but none were the forever kind. It was better for me that way because it meant she’d keep coming back—and had. “Hey, Duane, I ordered you a Bacardi and Coke.”
“Thanks, honey.” I took the drink from her and then sat next to her on the couch, resting my arm on the back and turned slightly toward her. “How’s work?” Shelby worked as an entertainment attorney and did a wide variety of things such as labor law, intellectual property law, and reviewing contracts. Being in L.A., she worked with a few actors, filmmakers, and musicians.
She sighed. “Busy.”
I grinned. “Busy’s good, right?”
“Means I have a job.”
“Exactly.”
“What about you? How are things?”
I smiled, thinking of Tessa. “Things are good.”
“Who is she?”
I balked. “What?”
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Come on. I’ve known you for at least a decade, and I’ve never seen you smile like that.”
“You’ve seen me smile.”
“Not like that.” She motioned with her finger at my face.
“Like what?” I took a sip of my drink.
“Your eyes twinkled.”
I threw my head back, laughing. “They did not.”
“They did.” She took a sip of her drink. “So, there isn’t a woman?”
I grinned again. “Well—”
“See. Told you. Who is she? A client?”
I shook my head. “No. Just a friend. Met her a little more than a month ago at my buddy’s bachelor party.”
“You didn’t seem this glowy the last time I saw you.”
I shrugged. “We’ve gotten closer.”
“Tell me about her.”
“You want to know about another woman?”
She took a sip of her vodka and cranberry. “I want to know about the woman who has gotten into your heart. I’ve never known you to have a girlfriend before.”
“Well, she’s not my girlfriend,” I corrected.
“But you want her to be?”
I shrugged and took a sip of my drink. I wasn’t sure if I wanted a girlfriend, but I knew I wanted more with Tessa. “I’m not sure,” I replied.
“What’s holding you back?”
“My buddy who’s getting married quit S&R—”
“And this girl will make you quit?”
I lifted a shoulder again. “I’m not sure.”
Shelby took a sip of her drink, and after a few moments she said, “I hate to say this, but if I was interested in a guy and found out he was an escort, I don’t think I’d be okay with it.”
I bobbed my head. “I know that. I’ve seen it through the years with friends of mine.”
“Maybe she’ll be different?”
“Maybe,” I replied, b
ut I knew better.
Even if I was a straitlaced escort and only gave them dates, I wasn’t sure if Tessa would be okay with me dating other women and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to give up the game for someone I’d only known a month.
Even if she was all I could think about.
The weekend with Vinny was amazing. The Giants won two out of the three games, I won the bet between Vinny and me, and I was on cloud nine. Something was changing between us. I’d always been attracted to him, but now, with Vinny was making me fall for him.
But I was still keeping it to myself.
I wasn’t okay with him working for S&R and starting any kind of romantic relationship with me. He hadn’t mentioned anything about his clients, but I had to assume he was still escorting. I was scared to bring it up to him because I wasn’t sure if he wanted more with me, and if he was still working for S&R, I couldn’t bring myself to be okay with him sleeping with other women. I knew he was attracted to me because of how turned on he was when I gave him a lap dance, and because he’d tried to kiss me twice. But that didn’t mean he wanted a girlfriend, and I wasn’t looking for a friend with benefits. I was just going to see what happened.
And that was what I told Melony when she came over on Tuesday while Colton was at school.
“Hey,” she greeted when I opened the door. “Brought you your favorite salad from Peppermill.”
I sucked in a breath, and my eyes bulged with excitement. “I love you.”
She laughed and walked inside my apartment. “I know.”
“Thanks for bringing me lunch. I’m starving,” I stated as I closed the door then followed her into my small dining room next to the kitchen.
“I was craving a giant salad, so I figured I’d bring you one too.”
I slid into a chair across from her. “Is that the only reason?”
She furrowed her brow. “Yeah, why?”
I tsked and rolled my eyes.
“What?” she asked with a smirk. “I’ve brought you lunch before. I’m being nice.”
I chuckled. “I know you have, and you are, but I also know you, and I know your real motives.”
“And what are those?” She handed me the box with my favorite salad—spring greens with chicken, blue cheese, slices of pears, walnuts, and a pear vinaigrette.
“You want to know about yesterday and Sunday.”
She grinned. “Well, I was here when you were freaking out before he showed up Saturday night.”
“I was not.” I totally was. I’d never gone on a weekend trip with a guy before. It didn’t matter that we had two separate rooms because I wasn’t sure what to expect. But being with Vinny was like being with someone I’d known my entire life. He made me feel comfortable. He made me happy. He made me excited, and he made me feel like a woman and not another pair of tits to stare at.
“Please. You couldn’t sit still while you waited for him to pick you up. You like him, and I know you like him as more than a friend.”
I took a deep breath and sighed. “I do.”
“I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.” Melony stabbed a piece of chicken from her salad.
“But I can’t do anything about it.”
“Why not? Because of Colt?”
I took another deep breath. “No. He’s great with Colton. I mean, of course he is since he’s a special ed kindergarten teacher.” After I found out about Vinny being a teacher, I’d told Melony. Hell, I’d told her everything because she was the only true friend I had in Vegas and I could trust her with anything.
“Then why not? He’s hot.”
“I know he’s hot.”
God, he sure the hell was. His buzzed, short brown hair looked soft, and every single time I saw him, I wanted to run my hand across his head. I swore his chocolate brown eyes twinkled when he looked at me. I wanted to feel his fucking perfect lips pressed to mine. Even his thick neck and Adam’s apple turned me on. I had no idea why. Maybe it was because I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck while he fucked me against a wall—any wall. I knew he’d have no problem because his arms looked strong. I also knew—even though I’d only seen it in pictures on the S&R website—that he had at least a six-pack, maybe even an eight-pack, and said abs were dusted with dark hair that went all the way into his pants. And the V. Good Lord, the V. I wanted to run my tongue down his entire body as I explored every inch of him and found where that V pointed to.
Melony snapped her fingers in front of me. “Did you hear me?”
I blinked as I focused on her. “Um, no?” I was too busy daydreaming about the man who seemed to be perfect in every way.
“I said that since you know he’s hot, and he’s obviously interested in you, why aren’t you riding him?”
I forked a piece of lettuce and a piece of pear. “Because other women do.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders fell. “Right.”
“Yep. Just thinking about it makes me sad because I would want to be the only woman even if he doesn’t have feelings for any of them.”
“I totally get it,” she agreed around a mouthful of food. “But let’s say he quits and is just a teacher. Do you think he’d be okay with you showing your tits and giving other guys lap dances every night?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Usher seems to be okay with it.”
Melony stared at me for a beat, and then we burst into laughter at my reference to Usher’s song, “I Don’t Mind.” “Maybe you should talk to him?” she suggested.
I took another bite of salad. “I can’t.” I wasn’t sure if I’d be okay if he didn’t sleep with his clients and only took them on the dates.
“Why not?”
“What if he only wants to be friends with benefits?”
“I think he wants more than that. He’s spending time with you and Colton. Friends with benefits is just what Bailey and I are.”
Melony wasn’t looking for a relationship. She and the guy she was sleeping with had an understanding that it was only for sex. Melony was okay with that because she was going to school to become a nurse and didn’t want to get involved with a guy until she was set in her career. I had nothing to fall back on, and if I found a guy who wasn’t okay with my stripping, then I didn’t know what I’d do. And if that guy was Vinny, it would break my heart if he was okay with me stripping because I needed the money.
“I’ll just see what happens,” I replied.
“Okay. Now, tell me everything that happened from the time you left until he dropped you off last night.”
I laughed and took another bite of salad before I told her what she wanted to know.
After I picked Colt up from school on Friday and made sure he and Sophia were good for the night, I went to Red Diamond. Having my talk with Melony made me realize I needed to do something other than strip because I wasn’t going to be able to do it forever. Hell, I didn’t want to do it forever.
When I walked in through the side door, a feeling of sorrow washed over me. This was all I had to survive. Most of the girls were stripping to pay for college, medical school, whatever. I was doing it to pay therapy bills and to put food on the table for Colton and me. I wasn’t hurting by any means; stripping was good money. But I wanted more even though I wasn’t sure what more was anymore.
Sommer walked into the dressing room not long after me. I was sitting at a vanity doing my makeup, and I smiled tightly at her. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I replied, and she sat next to me at an open vanity.
“You seem gloomy or something. Sure hope that doesn’t affect your tips.”
I rolled my eyes. “It won’t.”
“Whatever. More money for me.”
“Do you not listen? I said it won’t affect my tips.”
“Bitchy much?” she barked.
I turned toward her and glared. “I always give my best performances because not all of us get extra perks from the boss.”
Sommer threw her mascara down and turned toward me. “What th
e fuck does that mean?”
I snorted and rolled my eyes again. “Nothing.”
“That’s what I thought.”
I stood, scooting the stool back as I did. Sommer was a friend, but because I was in a bad mood, not wanting to bite my tongue anymore. “Tell me, did he pay you for your extra time?”
She stood and got within inches of my face. I faintly heard the other girls trying to calm us, but we didn’t pay them any mind. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say, but whatever it is, it’s none of your business,” she hissed.
“You’re right. I don’t give a fuck whose dick you suck.”
Her eyes widened, but before she could respond—or slap me—Melony stepped between us and pushed me back. “What the hell are you doing?” she asked. “This isn’t like you.”
“It’s shark week or something,” Sommer jabbed.
“Is it?” Melony whispered.
I rolled my eyes. “No. That was last week.”
“Then why are you all—”
“Bitchy?” Sommer cut in, still seething as she glared at me.
I groaned and stepped around Melony. I left the dressing room and headed straight into the restroom that was only for dancers. Melony followed me. “Okay, what’s going on? Vinny said he only wants to be friends with benefits or something? Broke your heart?”
“What? No,” I groaned. “I haven’t said anything to Vinny, just like I told you I wasn’t going to.”
“Well, it seems like you need to get laid,” she teased. “Release some of that sexual tension.”
While that may be true, it wasn’t the reason I was in a bad mood. “I need to be a better mother.”
“What?” She arched her brow and placed her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. “You’re the best mother I know besides my own.”
I sighed. “How do you think it will go over when Colt’s in high school and his forty-year-old mother is a stripper?”
“You’re not going to be a stripper that long.”
“I’m not? What will I be doing?” I challenged, crossing my arms over my bikini clad chest and making her drop her arms.
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