by Lisa Daniels
“Adrik,” Fayina’s voice was low, the tiredness and despondency taking over her.
“Yes?” He sounded wary in his response.
“Please do me a favor.”
There was a pause. “It depends on what you want.”
“Please leave me alone.”
Silence filled the room, and this time she had no desire to fill it.
The sound of him rising was the only sign that he agreed to her request.
Pressing her eyes shut, Fayina tried to keep the tears from falling. When they proved too persistent, she rolled over and buried her face in the pillow. After a while, the silence helped lull her to sleep.
Chapter 7
A Long Night
Fayina slept fitfully. The first time she woke, her eyes were swollen shut, and she knew it was because she had cried before falling asleep. When she had been young, that was common, but she could not remember it happening since her brothers had nearly killed her. It had made her much tougher and less prone to showing any outward emotion, even in private.
When she wasn’t able to open her eyes, she must have made some noises because Adrik called out her name. “Fayina?” His voice was barely above a whisper, and he was not close to the bed, so she was not entirely certain that he was awake.
In case he was actually trying to talk to her in reality, Fayina had no desire to let him see her in her weakened state. Nestling down into the bed, she made it look like she was having a nightmare and was finally settling down from it. The trick was one that she had repeatedly used over the years to fool her family into thinking she was soundly asleep. They expected her to have nightmares—most of them did—and they would leave her alone as long as they believed it. That left her free to meet up with lovers, then to leave to talk with Iliya. A part of her felt guilty about using it against Adrik, but she refused to allow herself guilt for doing something to anyone else. She had enough problems to contend with.
She did not hear him call her name again, and Fayina fell back into a light sleep. Dreamless, her body jerked her awake too frequently to feel well rested a few hours later.
This time she felt thirsty. Adrik had made a point of telling her to drink, and she knew that to persuade her, he would have left several drinks near her. All Fayina wanted was water. Trying to force her eyes open, the princess found that she could manage more than slits. She moved her head a little in an attempt to see where the drinks were, but the world was too out of focus. Deciding it wasn’t worth it, she pressed her face into her pillow and coaxed her brain to go back to sleep.
The sensation of burning in her throat forced her awake. Only able to open her eyes a little more than previously, Fayina knew that she would just have to feel for the drink.
Reaching out toward the nightstand, she misjudged the distance to the closest drink. Her hand knocked it, sending the glass tipping to the side. A nightmarish scenario unfolded in front of her as the glass hit another, and they both knocked other glasses. The sound of crashing and splashing was impossible to miss.
“Fayina!” The voice sounded alarmed. Large arms wrapped around her. “Hold on. Hold on.” It almost sounded like he was panicking, but Fayina knew that was just her brain playing tricks on her.
Fighting to speak, the princess managed to utter, “Alone.”
“What?” Adrik was so close she felt his breath on her face. “Hold on. I have something for you to drink. I’m putting it to your lips.”
He propped her up with one arm while gently touching a glass against her lips. “Drink this.”
Fayina turned her head away, a hand coming up and knocking the glass from his hand. “No,” she uttered before moving away from him. Her body felt heavy, and her movements were sluggish.
“No, no, no,” his arms were around her, “you have to drink. It has been hours, and your temperature is still going up.” Again, a cool glass touched her lips.
Fayina’s hands shot up. “No!” Her cracked voice echoed around the cave, reverberating with the desperation she felt.
Adrik’s voice was soft and pleading. “Please. Just drink. I promise you will get better.”
He lifted her again, but Fayina did not wait. Flinging herself toward the other side of the bed, she reached the edge and began to roll over it. Large arms caught her before she hit the floor. “No. Please,” she begged, covering her face with her hands, her throat feeling like it was on fire.
He did not wait for a response. Something small and thin pushed between her lips, then a cool liquid squirted into the back of her throat, relieving some of the pain.
Tears began to roll down her face as Fayina began to drink.
She felt Adrik brushing away the tears. “Oh, please don’t cry. It will undo any fluid you manage to get in your system.” He pulled the small tool from her lips. “Hold on a second. I’ll get more.”
Fayina heard a strange slurping noise, then the thing was back at her lips. Pressing them together, she tried to resist, but even if he hadn’t been a bear shifter, the princess was too weak to put up a real fight. Tears continued to flow down her cheeks as her body betrayed her, continuing to drink. Whatever tool he was using was not able to give her much liquid at one time, but she refused to drink when he offered her a glass. When Adrik felt she had drunk enough, he gently placed her on the bed. “Let me know when you wake and I will give you more. In the meantime, that should be enough to help bring your temperature down.”
Too tired to fight, Fayina shivered. The blanket was pulled over her. “Get back to sleep. That should slow the effects, giving your body more of a chance to deal with it.”
Something in his words sounded off, but her mind was in no state to properly consider what he meant. Shivering more, the princess fought to get back to sleep.
The next time Fayina woke was to the feel of someone gently shaking her. Too hot and weak to do much, she mumbled something.
“Thank the gods. Hold on.” Again she was lifted up and the small tool stuck in her mouth. “This is a dropper,” he explained as she sucked on it. “We usually use it on babies or in the case of this one, cooking, but since you don’t seem able to drink, I thought it best to help you in any way I could.”
Offended, Fayina turned her head to the side.
“Hold on.” Adrik repositioned himself so that he had a better hold on her head. “There. Now you shouldn’t worry about your head lolling to the side. That’s good. Drink up. It will start to help you this time. It has to.”
Fayina tried to push the dropper with her tongue, and liquid spilled out over her lips. “Uh oh,” Adrik said patiently. “Looks like you are having some trouble. Is your tongue swollen now, too?” The dropper was pushed back into her mouth, and the liquid shot against the back of her throat. Surprised, Fayina began to cough, her back racked by the effort.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Something soft was wiped against her face. “I’ll be more careful.” He tilted her head to the side, then used the dropper to fill her mouth. Tilting her head back, he gently stroked the front of her neck to get her to swallow. “I’ll help in any way that I can. Just please get better, Fayina. Please.”
Again, tears began to flow down the side of her face, but this time she was too weak to try to hide her face. The nightmares started as soon as she fell asleep.
She woke often, and every time Adrik was near her, giving her liquids and gently speaking to her. He never spoke of anything important, but after a while, Fayina found herself no longer caring about what had happened. For now, he cared about her. He could argue with her and be mad at her later. For now, she wanted to enjoy the comfort he offered.
The night seemed to stretch on forever, an endless repetition of drinking, crying, and sleeping.
If Fayina was going to die, no matter how miserable she was about the way things had ended with Adrik, no matter how much pain and suffering she was enduring, at least she would have experienced what it was like to be cared for like Adrik did that night. None of her lovers had ever made her fee
l so important, or so important to them.
Adrik had known her for less than a week, yet here he was, taking better care of her than anyone in her life ever had.
Is it worth it to keep going? Should I just let go? What is the point of going on? Who will even care that I’m gone?
Her hoarse voice replied, “No one.”
She heard Adrik beside her, but she could not make out the words. “No one,” she muttered before drifting off to sleep with the full belief that she would not be waking again.
Chapter 8
The Cold Morning
A cold shiver went up Fayina’s spine, but not for the reason she had expected. Her eyes opened as far as she could manage, and she found herself sitting in a bath full of cold water and ice. She took a deep breath to scream, but found that Adrik’s hand was faster. Covering her mouth, he murmured in her ear, “It’s okay. Your fever has finally broken, but you gave me quite a scare before that happened. I will get you out of there. Just hold on a minute while I grab a towel.”
Fayina looked at the cold water in the bath, and a memory from two nights ago came to mind. Attempting to shake it away, Fayina fell sideways. A large hand stopped her. “Careful, Fayina.” The alarm was quickly replaced with an apology. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you. Let’s get you out of there.”
The water flowed over her as Adrik’s strong arms encircled her. Fayina was vaguely aware that she was naked, but at the moment, she simply didn’t care. Let him see all of her scars now that he was sober—it wasn’t like he took an interest in her. And she had more pressing problems. Her teeth chattered as the cold air enveloped her. This was quickly replaced by the soft sensation of a large towel and Adrik’s arms. He moved over to the bed and put her down.
“There,” he smiled down at her apologetically. Adrik began to run his hands up and down her arms and legs at an impossibly fast pace. “I’m going to warm you up, so if you will just bear with me for a moment, you will feel better. Of course, I can always stop if you prefer.”
Immediately, the princess said, “Please stop. It isn’t necessary.”
He sat up, a hurt expression passing over his face, but it didn’t last. Adrik’s face resumed a more neutral expression, but the concern still shone in his eyes. To avoid seeing him attempting to hide the hurt, Fayina rolled over and got under the covers, completely indifferent to her nakedness. “Thanks, Adrik. I’ll be alright now. We can get going whenever you are ready.”
“We need to wait until you—”
“I just need to rest a bit more. By the time the sun is immediately overhead, I’ll be ready to move. I should probably get home.”
“I’m not taking you home.”
Fayina pulled the covers up over herself. “I have to go home. My parents are going to blame Iliya’s family for my disappearance. And her family will blame my family. They are just looking for a reason to fight, of course, and I refuse to give them another one. With both Iliya and me home, perhaps our families will opt to fight the bandits instead of each other.”
“What about them trying to marry you off?” There was a tinge of something in his voice, but Fayina couldn’t place it.
Wanting to disappear under the covers, she pulled them over her head, making a small opening where her face was. “After being kidnapped to be given out as a womb so that the shape shifters can infiltrate my family, I would rather let my family pick someone for me than to keep fighting the inevitable. Thanks, though.”
“What do you mean?” Adrik remained close, and she could feel his weight on the bed. Whether he was leaning or sitting on it, she didn’t know.
“Thanks for worrying about me. It’s unnecessary.”
“Of course I’m worried, Fayina. Everyone is precious, and your family clearly does not believe that. I can’t be party to such blatant disregard—”
A cold laugh escaped her lips. “Everyone is precious, huh? I wish that you were right, but that is not the world that I live in.”
“And that’s why I cannot take you back to it. You are precious, and letting you wilt in that kind of environment—I’m simply not going to return you to your family.”
Feeling too tired to argue, Fayina balled up in the fetal position. “Please, Adrik, just leave me alone. I need to rest.”
There was a pause before his weight lifted from the bed. “You are right. You have been through enough for now. Rest.” He patted her head.
Tears sprang to Fayina’s eyes, but she quickly forced them back. The time of weakness had come and gone. Now she would need to return to her home with or without Adrik’s help.
Fayina spent the next few hours thinking as Adrik moved quietly around the room. The only way she knew he had not left was the gentle breeze that his swift movements caused. A weak smile flitted across her face as she thought how he probably wasn’t even aware of the way he affected the world around him. It summed up the way he had made her feel and how fleeting it had been.
If only it could have lasted longer.
A cold laugh echoed in her thoughts. You asked for one night, and you got it. That’s the problem with getting comfortable; it is fleeting and makes you weak.
Her thoughts remained gloomy as she shivered under the covers. No longer because of the cold, but because she knew that the life she was returning to was exactly what she had been trying to flee when the bandits had taken her. Trying to better her situation had failed, and now she would just need to accept that her future was not as bleak as it could have been.
When her body had warmed up and she felt more in control of herself, Fayina pushed the covers off and sat up. The feel of the cool air whisking across her skin was more pleasant after the freezing sensation of the ice, but it still made her shiver. She pulled the sheet up over herself to combat the cold. Almost as soon as she had moved, Adrik was by the bed. “How do you feel?”
“I’ve recovered.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed, the sheet held close to her chest.
He pushed her back. “That is not a good idea.”
Fayina knocked his arm out of the way. “I don’t need your pity.” She had adapted the cold tone reserved for lovers when their time was over. Fayina was never the one to express a desire for her affairs to end, but she never allowed her feelings of loneliness to make her beg. If they thought they were done with her, then she had no further emotions for them. The cold demeanor protected her from further hurt, and made it impossible for anyone to try to win her back.
Fayina refused to pine for something she couldn’t have.
Adrik appeared torn in how he should react to this new attitude, but as soon as Fayina tried to stand, he knew what to do. Her weakened legs couldn’t hold her weight, and his arms were there to catch her before she hit the floor. Carefully, he guided her back onto the bed, making sure to touch her as little as possible. “You will need at least a couple more days. A few regular meals will be required to restore you back to your full health. Then we can discuss departing.”
“I’ve had worse illnesses,” Fayina insisted. “I will be fine to leave soon. I just need a bit more rest.” Despite not being tired, she crawled back under the covers. The princess had no idea how she would manage to pass the time since she knew sleep was impossible. Her mind was fully awake, even if her body seemed unable to do much.
Behind her, Adrik spoke her thoughts. “You aren’t going to be able to sleep now. Just as you haven’t been able to sleep for several hours.”
Fayina turned to look at him, annoyance clear on her face. “If you knew I wasn’t asleep, why did you pretend that you thought I was? What could you possibly gain from that kind of deception?”
“I was not pretending, and I certainly was not deceiving you. You asked me to leave you alone, so I did. I didn’t even realize that you were pretending to sleep. It seemed you just had a lot to consider, and at this point, I cannot make any decisions for you.”
Fayina gritted her teeth. “That hasn’t stopped you up to this point. Why start payi
ng attention to what I want now?”
The hurt in Adrik’s eyes pierced her heart, but Fayina remained cold on the outside as he answered, “I have only gone against what you wanted when it came to your health.” He ran a hand along the back of his head. “It’s my fault you were unwell. That it was so severe that you nearly burned to death. Since you could not counter it—you didn’t even know what it was that was causing your illness—I felt it necessary to try to shield you from the truth.”
Fayina gave him an incredulous look. “You weren’t the one who threw me into a dungeon and starved me. Don’t try to take the blame to…” Usually people were insincere when they tried to take the blame for something that happened with her. She knew that Adrik was not trying to do that, though. He had nothing to gain from her being a member of the royal family; he had nothing to gain by trying to soothe her at all.
He leaned forward, but did not take her hands as he said, “No, I didn’t lock you up, but that only made you weak, not sick. The amount of time you spent in the dungeon was not enough to expose you to anything serious. None of the prisoners had any obvious ailment, so there wasn’t anything for you to contract in that amount of time. No, your illness,” he took a deep breath, “you were ill because I made love to you while the toxins were still coursing through me. Unchecked and still very potent.”
Fayina’s mouth fell open. In an attempt to process what he had said, she asked, “You remembered?”
He frowned, “Of course I remembered. I have not been with anyone since I lost my wife more than a decade ago.”
Closing her eyes, Fayina found it difficult to process all of the new information Adrik had imparted in a single sentence. “You were married?” She opened her eyes and watched an elegant parade of expressions cross his stunning features.
“Does it seem so impossible to believe that someone would want me for more than a night?” He gave a derisive laugh. “Perhaps you are ready to leave me so quickly—not that I blame you—but there was a woman who fell in love with me once.”