by M C Beaton
"Naff off!" shouted Agatha with such venom that the woman scurried off down the street.
Why did I ever come to this place? thought Agatha, as she trudged along the promenade beside the restless sea. At the end of the prom, she could see the hotel. It looked like a prison. What were they all doing? Playing Scrabble and talking about the weather?
Tired as she was, before she got to the hotel she turned and walked along the pier. There was a fascination in piers, those Victorian structures on the British coastline whose elegant spindly structures led out over the waves with their theatre or dance hall at the end, with their souvenir booths and slot machines. Her heels clacked on the boards. Someone had shovelled a clear pathway through the rapidly melting snow. She longed to be able to go up to her room and pack and get in that rented car and drive as far away as possible. She stood at the end of the pier looking down at the surging waves racing each other toward the shore until she began to shiver.
Wearily, she turned and walked towards the hotel. Mr. Martin was at the desk.
"No calls," snapped Agatha and went up to her room. Scrabble purred and mewed while Agatha prepared cat food and a bowl of water. She wanted a hot bath but she was so very tired. After Scrabble had been fed, Agatha climbed into bed without undressing, pulled the duvet up to her ears and plunged down into a dreamless sleep.
The Red Lion in Carsely was busy that lunch-time. Publican John Fletcher pulled a pint of Hook Norton for James Lacey and said, "Our Agatha's in another mess."
"What? There was nothing in the papers this morning," said James.
"Heard it on the radio this morning," said John. "Some colonel died at that hotel Agatha's staying in. Agatha's been pulled in. Helping police with their inquiries, it said. You should go down there and see if you can help."
"Her fiance will look after her. He's a police inspector," sad James grimly and moved away from the bar.
Sir Charles Fraith was driving back to his estate when he heard the news about Agatha on the radio. "Silly woman," he muttered. When he got home, he phoned the Garden Hotel but was told that Mrs. Raisin was not taking any calls.
What on earth was going on down there? he wondered. Might be fun to find out. Life had been a bit boring recently and the girl he had thought had fancied him like mad had just got engaged to someone else. He packed an overnight bag, got back in his car and headed south.
Agatha did not awake until evening. She soaked herself in a hot bath, washed her hair, then put on a night-dress and dressing-gown and phoned down to the desk and asked for sandwiches and coffee to be sent up. She did not feel like facing the others. She wanted to pretend they didn't even exist. The night porter had just come on duty. "I have a note here to say you don't want any calls to be put through."
"That's right," said Agatha.
She switched on the television, which was showing an old James Bond movie. When her sandwiches arrived, Agatha settled down in a chair in front of the television with the cat on her lap to watch it.
Charles strolled into the Garden Hotel at nine that evening. The desk was empty. He peered into the lounge. It was empty apart from a tortoise-looking old man.
"Do you know where I can find Mrs. Raisin?" he asked.
"I think she's in her room," said Harry.
"Which one's that?"
"Number nine. Top of the stairs and turn left."
Carrying his bag, Charles tripped up the stairs and turned left. There was a mirror in the corridor. He stopped and brushed down his smooth fair hair and studied his neat features. Then he went along and knocked on the door of number 9. No one answered but he could hear television noises. He tried the handle. Locked.
"Aggie! It's me!" he shouted. A dyed blonde woman with a blotchy face passed him in the corridor. Charles grinned at her. "She must be deaf," he said. He knocked again. "Come on, Aggie. It's me, Charles!"
Agatha opened the door. "Oh, Charles," she said, "I've been having such an awful time." And she burst into tears. He took her in his arms.
"It's all right. I'm here."
Charles saw the blotchy-faced old blonde was watching them and propelled the weeping Agatha into the room and kicked the door shut behind him with his foot.
"What mess have you been getting yourself into?" He stroked her hair. "Real hair, too."
"It-it g-grew back," sobbed Agatha into his shoulder.
"You're wetting my jacket. Any drink in this place?"
"Phone down for something."
Charles picked up the phone and ordered a bottle of brandy. "Which room?" asked the suspicious voice of the night porter.
"Mrs. Raisin's room."
"On her bill, sir?"
"Of course," said Charles cheerfully.
He sat down on the bed. "Now, come here and tell Charles all about it."
Agatha dried her eyes and sat beside him. She told him everything from the beginning, only breaking off to answer the door and take in a tray with a bottle of brandy and two glasses.
"This is good of you, Charles."
"Actually, it's on your bill."
"You never change," said Agatha. "Here's thanks to me." She continued her story while the brandy sank lower in the bottle.
"What a peculiar set-up," said Charles. He lay back on the bed and clasped his hands behind his head.
"If you're staying the night," said Agatha, "then you'd best go and get yourself a room."
"I've got a room," said Charles lazily. "Let's go to bed."
"I don't like casual sex, Charles."
"Who said it was casual?"
"You've proved in the past that it was casual."
"Then let's just cuddle up."
Agatha felt tipsy and tired and suddenly reluctant to be left alone.
"All right, she said. But vanity made her go into the bathroom and put on some light make-up. When she returned, Charles had put on his pyjamas and was lying tucked up in bed, fast asleep.
So much for romance, thought Agatha, getting in beside him. Scrabble, curled up on a chair, watched her curiously. The bedside light on Charles's side of the bed was burning. She leaned across him to put it out but before she could, his eyes opened and he smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her.
"None of that," said Agatha, trying to pull free. He kissed her and then said mischievously, "None of what? None of this?" He kissed her again. Janine's voice that Agatha would never have sex again suddenly sounded in her ears.
She told herself later that it was only to prove Janine wrong that she did.
Inspector Jimmy Jessop drove to the Garden Hotel. The results of the autopsy had come through. The colonel had died of natural causes. It was nearly midnight but he knew Agatha would thank him for letting her know as soon as possible. He wanted to tell her in person, to see the relief in her eyes.
He parked outside the Garden and walked in. Daisy came up to meet him, her face still swollen with crying and her eyes glittering oddly. Behind the desk, the night porter snored gently.
"Going to see Agatha?" asked Daisy.
"Yes."
"Just go up," said Daisy. "Her room's number nine."
Jimmy hesitated and looked towards the desk. "I should phone first."
"She's not receiving calls."
"Oh, in that case ..."
Jimmy headed for the stairs. Daisy gave a little smile and went back into the lounge.
Jimmy knocked softly at Agatha's door. There was no reply. He tried the handle. The door was unlocked. He opened it quietly.
The tableau that met his eyes was illuminated by a bedside lamp. There was a pair of man's striped pyjamas lying crumpled on the floor and Agatha's night-dress was hanging off the end of the bed.
Agatha herself was naked and wrapped in the arms of a man Jimmy did not know.
He retreated ever so quietly, closing the door with great care. He walked stiffly down the stairs and shook the night porter awake and demanded writing paper and an envelope.
Then he sat down and wrote Agatha Raisin a blistering letter,
telling her exactly what he thought of her. A certain fairness prompted him to also tell her that the colonel had died of natural causes. She was therefore free to leave Wyckhadden and he never wanted to see her face again. He asked for his ring back. He sealed the letter and told the night porter to take it up and slide it under her door.
Agatha was the first to awake the following morning. She twisted round and looked at Charles's sleeping face, her first weary thought, Oh God, I've done it again. She pulled her night-gown up from the end of he bed and slipped it on. It was then she saw the envelope. She picked it up and sat down on the end of the bed and opened it.
She turned brick-red with shame and mortification. She pulled the letter down and pulled off the engagement ring and put it on the bedside table. Jimmy's letter made it perfectly clear that he had seen her in bed with Charles. There was no way she could lie herself out of this one. And yet, at the root of all her shame was a little feeling of relief.
She prodded Charles in the ribs. "Wake up!"
Charles struggled awake. "What's the rush, dearest? I drove through this dismal little town last night, you know. Not the sort of place you leap out of bed for and with a glad cry go to explore."
"Shut up and listen," growled Agatha. "Jimmy walked in last night and found us in bed together. He's broken off the engagement. He wants his ring back."
"Let me see it."
Agatha handed him the ring. He held it up to the light, squinted at it, and handed it back. "Let him have it. Not worth keeping."
"It's all your fault," howled Agatha, goaded by his indifference.
"Show me the letter. Come on. You never even loved him, so don't pretend."
Agatha gave him the letter. He read it carefully. "Sounds like a good straight decent man. Not for the likes of you, Aggie."
"How dare you!"
"And you're off the hook. You can come back with me."
"Charles, do you not feel any remorse?"
"No, not a tittle, and neither would you if you hadn't been caught out." He rose and strolled into the bathroom and closed the door.
Agatha reached for the phone to call Jimmy and then decided against it. What could she say? How could she explain herself? To say that she felt nothing for Charles would make her seem even more of a slut.
The phone rang. She picked it up gingerly as if it might bite and said a cautious "Yes?"
"This is Mr. Martin, Mrs. Raisin."
"How can I help you?"
"I believe you have a man in your room."
"So what?" said Agatha crossly. "This is the nineties."
"It was booked as single accommodation. I must charge you double."
"Go ahead, and get my bill ready. I'm leaving today," snapped Agatha and replaced the phone.
She looked in the mirror and let out a squawk of alarm. He hair was all tousled and her unmade-up face looked old. Charles was at least ten years younger than she was. Then she sat down wearily. What did it matter? She wasn't in love with Charles. When he came out of the bathroom, she took his place and ran a bath and then found to her fury that he had used all the towels. She rang for fresh towels. No doubt those would go on her bill as well.
Charles, unconcerned and deaf to her complaints, was watching a morning television show.
Agatha finally bathed and changed and made up her face. Then she fed the cat and switched off the television in the middle of a game show. "Now I'll never know who won the car," complained Charles.
"We'll have some breakfast," said Agatha, "then I'll return my own car and buy a travelling cat box for Scrabble and you can run me to Carsely. I'd better drop in at the police station and return the ring." She sat down at the desk. She would need to write to Jimmy.
"Okay," said Charles indolently.
"By the way, how was it you just walked up to my room? Why didn't the desk phone me?"
"There was no one at the desk and when I looked into the lounge, there was a tortoise-looking old man who told me to go right up."
"Harry," said Agatha bitterly.
"I think he's mad, Agatha. In fact, they're probably all mad in this hotel. Did that ever occur to you? All of them sitting here, year in, year out, their old brains fossilizing?"
"Murder makes everyone seem mad," said Agatha wearily, "including me." She wrote a brief note of apology to Jimmy, and put the ring in its little box. Then she stood up. "Let's go. We'll ear later."
Agatha, followed by Charles, drove to the car rental firm and turned in the car. Then she got in beside Charles and directed him to the police station.
"Want me to come in with you?" asked Charles.
"No, I won't be a moment."
Agatha went into the police station. The police sergeant at the desk was talking to policewoman Trul and Detective Constable Tarret. They watched her in silence as she approached the desk.
Agatha handed the letter and jeweller's box over to the sergeant. "Would you be so very good as to give this to Inspector Jessop?"
He silently took the box and letter. Agatha turned and walked out. "Bitch!" said Trul loudly to her retreating back.
Her face flaming, Agatha got into the car beside Charles. "It was awful," she said. "Jimmy must have told everybody."
"What do you expect, you harlot?" laughed Charles. "Where to?"
"I'll direct you to the car-park in the centre of the town. I've got to buy a cat box."
After she had purchased a cat box and Charles was driving sedately back to the hotel, he suddenly let out an exclamation and braked. "Look at that!"
"What?"
"Casablanca's showing at the cinema."
"So?"
"I adore Casablanca. I want to see it. Showing at two this afternoon."
"We're checking out at twelve."
"One more night. I'll pay. Come on, Aggie."
"Oh, all right. But you go on your own. I can't bear to see that old movie again."
"And I'm starving. You didn't let us stop for breakfast." Mr. Martin agreed that, yes, she could have the room for another night. "He's paying," said Agatha, jerking a thumb at Charles. "We'll have lunch."
They put their coats and the cat box up in the room and then went down to the dining-room. Jennifer, Mary, Daisy and Harry stared openly at them.
"What a bunch of freaks," said Charles cheerfully. "Very Arsenic and Old Lace."
They ate their heavy lunch in silence. Then Charles went up to fetch his coat and go to the cinema. After he had left, Agatha began to feel the silence of the hotel oppressive. She wished she had not agreed to stay another night. What if Jimmy called and made a scene?
She realized the heavy meal and her activities of the night before had made her feel tired. Agatha lay down on the bed next to Scrabble and soon was fast asleep. She did not awake until six o'clock. She struggled up. Where was Charles?
James Lacy walked into the Garden Hotel. The morning television news had reported on the death of the colonel and that Mrs. Raisin was helping police with their inquiries, but there had been nothing further in that morning's news bulletin. He felt it was his duty for old time's sake to go down and see if he could help Agatha.
He was approaching the desk when the slim neat figure of Sir Charles Fraith walked past him.
"Charles!" called James.
"Hullo," said Charles cautiously.
"I came to see if I could help Agatha."
"She's all right," said said Charles. "That old boy died of natural causes. I'm just visiting."
Suddenly Mr. Martin was next to them. He said to Charles, "As you are paying for the room you are sharing with Mrs. Raisin, I would like you to sign the registration form."
"What? Oh, sure," said Charles, wilting before the blazing rage in James's eyes.
James turned on his heel and walked straight out of the hotel.
Charles miserably signed the registration form. Then he decided to go out and get a drink somewhere. If Agatha heard that her precious James had arrived and found out that they were sharing a room, she
would be in a terrible rage.
Agatha had unpacked a few clothes. There was a knock at the door. "Come in," she called.
The door opened and Daisy walked in, staring round her curiously.
There was a hissing sound from the bed. Agatha turned and looked at Scrabble. The cat's eyes were blazing and its fur was standing on end.
Agatha looked at Daisy in a sort of wonder.
"It was you, wasn't it?" she said. "It was you all the time."
NINE
"THAT'S Francie's cat," said Daisy. "What are you doing with Francie's cat?"
Agatha, hearing the odd crooning sound in Daisy's voice and looking at the vacant expression on her face, thought suddenly, she's mad. She's been mad all along, and none of us even noticed. But she said calmly, frightened that any loud sound or movement would tip Daisy over the edge, "I found it wandering on the beach." Scrabble was still hissing and spitting, green eyes ablaze.
"Sit down, Daisy. We have to talk."
Daisy sat down. Agatha picked up Scrabble and shut the cat in the bathroom. "The cat's seen you before. Come on. Out with it, Daisy."
"Out with what?" She moved her head from side to side.
"Francie was blackmailing you."
"It wasn't that," said Daisy in a voice of mad reason. "It wasn't that at all. She took my money."
Agatha sat down on the bed. She wondered why she felt so calm. "There's just the two of us, Daisy. No police. Tell me about it."
"It all happened so long ago," said Daisy on a sigh. "You won't tell anyone?"
"No," said Agatha, thinking bleakly as she had no witnesses and no proof, there was nothing she could do about it. The door was a little ajar. She thought of rising and closing it, but did not want to do anything to stop Daisy telling her story.
"My husband had died. I felt guilty. I suppose someone always feels guilty when someone dies." She let out a girlish giggle, more horrible to Agatha's ears than if Daisy had ranted and raved. "We had just had a terrible row, you see, and I felt it was my fault. He accused me of being in love with the colonel."
"And were you ... at that time?"