by M. K. Eidem
“A chance to what?”
“To show you how much I love you.” He watches as pain fills her eyes, before they shut him out. Feeling her start to tremble, he swears. “Come on, you need to eat.” He drags her to the hatch.
“Stop! I can’t go like this.” She gestures to her maintenance clothes. Running his eyes over her, he enjoys her compact curves but realizes he doesn’t want anyone else seeing them.
Spinning, he pulls a shirt out of his closet. “Turn,” he orders then slides the button up shirt up her arms. “There.” Pulling the shirt together, he pulls her close. “You're mine, Victoria. I’m yours. Now you are going to eat if I have to shove it down your throat.”
Victoria’s eyes narrow at his assumption that he can make her do anything. She isn’t a child, he isn’t her man, she can do as she pleases, just as he did.
“Don’t threaten me, Major.” Victoria stresses the last word.
“That wasn’t a threat, Victoria. It was a promise and so help me, if you call me Major one more time...” He trails off as he finally takes a good look at her. She’s flushed and trembling and not with desire. Scrubbing a hand over his face he takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
Victoria stares at him shocked. What’s gotten into him?
“Please, can we just go to first meal? I need to know you’re eating, that you’re safe. When E Deck got hit yesterday...” He finds he can’t go, on his voice breaking.
“I wasn’t there, Lucas.” She puts a reassuring hand on his arm, it’s quickly covered by his and her anger dissolves under the anguish in his eyes.
“I couldn’t be sure. You didn’t answer when I called, weren’t here.”
“I’m fine.” She tells him again, after several long seconds of his eyes searching hers as if he’s trying to convince himself she is, he nods then leads her from the room
Heads turn as they enter for first meal. When she hesitates, he puts a hand on her lower back, guiding her to the line. He frowns, watching what she takes.
“You need more than that.” He criticizes.
“I’ll take what I want.” Knowing she didn’t want a scene, he adds more to his tray for her. Looking for a place to sit, Lucas sees Dodge sitting alone.
“Over there.” He nudges her towards Dodge.
“Dodge…” Victoria sits down next to him, ignoring her food. “What’s wrong?”
“They kicked me out.”
“What?”
“They said I wasn’t family and kicked me out.” Devastated eyes meet hers.
“Dodge, I’ll get you back in.”
“What’s going on?” Sitting across from Dodge, he looks at Victoria.
“Lorre.” Tormented eyes turn to Lucas.
“What’s wrong with Lorre?” He watches Victoria’s eyes go blank.
“She was hurt in the attack,” Victoria tells him. “Dodge brought her into medical.”
“She hasn’t woken up yet, Tori. Why hasn’t she woken up?”
“I don’t know. I’ll go check.”
“No!” Lucas puts a hand on her arm. “You’ll eat first.”
“Look…”
“When did you last eat?” Lucas demands.
Dodge frowns and takes a good look at Tori.
“Tori, Lucas is right. Eat.”
Knowing she can’t fight both of them, she sighs, picks up her spoon and eats. Dodge looks at Lucas as Tori eats, something’s changed here then he looks at his hands.
“You’re feeding yourself.” His eyes shoot to Lucas.
“Yeah, Victoria says I’m ready for light duty.”
“What! In just over two weeks?” Stunned eyes fly to Tori.
“Light duty, no flying. It’ll take a couple more weeks to build his hand strength back up,” she tells him.
“That’s great news man.”
“Yeah. So tell me about Lorre.” Lucas says, noticing Victoria’s slight pause before she resumes eating. While Dodge talks, Lucas moves some food from his tray to Victoria’s.
“Stop that.” Her eyes flash to his.
“You need to eat more.” Instead of answering, she rises.
“I’m going to head to medical, to check on Lorre.” When Lucas grabs her arm she winces, he immediately releases her.
“Victoria…” He’s talking to her back.
“What was that?” Dodge demands.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” Rising they follow her.
Reading the screen, Victoria frowns. Lorre’s internal injuries, while severe, have been efficiently treated. Her meds have been reduced. She should be waking up. Looking up, she checks her vitals everything is within range.
“Checking up on me?” Magnes approaches the bed.
“Friend of a friend.” Victoria replies. “Everything looks good.”
“Yeah, but she’s not waking up.”
“Could there have been a head injury?”
“Thought of that. The scan was negative.”
“Dodge.” Victoria turns, knowing he and Lucas are there. “Grab a chair, sit down, and talk to her.”
“Is he family?” Magnes asks.
“She matters to him. It’s close enough.” Nodding, Magnes steps back. “I’ll make sure he’s cleared.”
“Thanks doc.” Dodge sits.
“Have you got a minute to check the Major?” Victoria turns to Magnes.
Magnes looks from her to Lucas then notices the loosely wrapped, unboarded hands. “Yeah, I’ve got time.” Entering the private exam room, Magnes waits.
“I feel the Major is ready to go back on light duty. He’s responded exceptionally well to the treatments and while he has recovered full use of his hands, he still needs to rebuild his strength. You’re head medical, you have the final say,” Victoria tells Magnes.
“Sit, Major.” Magnes points to the bed as he turns to gather up his supplies. Unwrapping his hands, Magnes eyes widen at the extent of the healing that’s occurred. He’s never seen burns heal so fast. As he puts Lucas through the same drills as Victoria, his respect for the young doctor grows.
“I concur with your assessment, Dr Chamberlain.” He looks to her. “You don’t feel the need for further treatments?”
“Not unless he starts to cramp.” Victoria’s eyes shoot to Lucas. “That isn’t going to happen because he’ll build his strength up slowly. Strength balls would be best.”
“I agree with that. I have burn gloves he can wear while on deck.”
“I thought you would.”
“You’re back on light duty, Major. I expect you to check in daily so I can assess your progress.”
“Yes sir,” Lucas replies.
“Now let me check your arms.” Magnes turns to Victoria. Lucas frowns.
“I’m fine.”
“Lose the shirt, Chamberlain,” Magnes orders. Sighing, she shrugs out of Lucas’ shirt and holds out her arms for Magnes inspection. When he turns them over, Lucas sees the raw patches of skin.
“What the fuck!” Lucas’ eyes are enraged. This is why she’d winched earlier.
“Why weren’t you treating these?” Magnes goes to a cabinet pulling out a tube of cream.
“If any of the cream comes in contact with the burionic solution, it drastically reduces its cell regeneration capabilities.”
“So you left them untreated!” Lucas is in front of her inspecting her arm and while his touch is gentle, his anger is visible.
“Major, I need to treat her.” Magnes nudges him aside, having no doubt about the Major’s feelings for Chamberlain. Lucas moves, but stays close, watching Magnes treat and wrap her arms.
“You know what you need to do.” Magnes hands her the tube. Nodding, she takes it.
“Tell me what she needs to do,” Lucas demands.
“Keep it clean. Keep the cream on it. Change the dressings. It’ll heal in about a week.”
“How often do they need changing?”
“Couple times a day.” Lucas nods.
“It’l
l be done.”
“Excuse me, I know the treatment.” Victoria’s eyes flash to his.
“And haven’t been doing it. I’ll make sure you do.”
“Tori! She’s waking up!” Dodge sticks his head in then is quickly gone. All three rush to follow.
“Well Lorre, nice to have you back with us.” Magnes smiles at her.
“What? What happened?” She looks around and sees the Major, Chamberlain, and Dodge circling her bed.
“You were injured in the attack. You’re going to be fine. You just need to rest,” Magnes tells her
“I… Major?” Lorre looks to Lucas.
“You’re going to be fine Lorre.” Lucas watches his longtime friend hold Lorre’s hand and realizes he’s in love with her. “Just rest. Dodge will stay with you.”
“Dodge?” Confused eyes look to Dodge, who squeezes her hand.
“Hey there. You gave us all a scare.”
“I did?”
“Yeah.” Dodge and Lorre don’t notice as other three quietly leave.
Pulling Lucas’ shirt on, Victoria finds he’s there to help her.
“Thanks,” she murmurs, sighing as his hands rest on her shoulders.
“You should have told me.”
“There was no reason to. You needed to concentrate on your recovery.” She feels his hands tighten.
“Damn it, Victoria.”
“Let it go.” Stepping away from him, she heads for the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“To my quarters. I need to change.”
“We’ll go see if it’s been cleared yet.”
“You’ve been cleared for light duty, Major. You need to report to the flight deck, especially with Dodge and Lorre in medical.”
“I’ll get there. You’re first. And it’s Lucas!” With his hand on the small of her back, he guides her out of medical.
With E Deck cleared, Lucas walks with her to her quarters. Entering her code, she pushes open the hatch.
“There. I’m here. You’ve done your duty. Now go do your job.”
“Duty…” Lucas’ voice is so soft as he closes the hatch. “You think you’re a ‘duty’ to me?”
“I think you’re feeling grateful for my help and you’re confusing it for something else.”
“Confusing…”
“It’s called transference. I should have taken precautions. I didn’t think it would become an issue. Not with you.”
“You think that the only reason I have feelings for you is because you treated me? Healed me?”
“You made your feelings for me perfectly clear before you were injured. You’re not one to change your mind once you’ve decided on something. This is no different.”
Lucas rubs his hands across his face, the hands she’d healed. The reason she doesn’t think he loves her. “You’re wrong.” His eyes meet hers. “You couldn’t be more wrong, Victoria. I’ve waited nine cycles for you.”
“I know, for me to grow up so you can stop avoiding your family. Well I have and you can.” She has to turn away, so he doesn’t see the hurt in her eyes. “I won’t be a problem any longer.”
“Damn it, Victoria! That was never what I meant! You have to know that! I love you!” Gripping her arm, he pulls her around, when she hisses, he realizes he’s grabbed her where she’s injured. “Fuck! God, I’m sorry!” He immediately releases her.
“Major Zafar to the flight deck. Major Zafar report to the flight deck.” The comm announces.
“You need to go, Major.” Victoria’s eyes are shuttered.
“Damn it, Victoria, we need to finish this!”
“We have.” She opens the hatch.
“No, we haven’t.” Gripping her face, he pulls her up for a hard kiss. “But we will. I’m not losing you, not now.” Releasing her, he walks through the hatch and hears the locks engage, shutting him out.
Oh God, Victoria walks over, collapsing on the couch. How is she going to survive this? She knows Lucas is going to come to his senses eventually and realize he doesn’t love her. She just has to stay away from him until he does, because she knows she won’t survive losing him again, not after she’s been in his arms, slept in his bed. Closing her eyes, she remembers the feel of him beneath her, his warmth, his scent. Lifting the hem of her shirt, she breathes in deeply, it still carries his scent.
Dropping it, she forces herself to her feet and looks around her quarters. What a mess. Time to get back to real life. A life without Lucas. Walking around the room, she starts picking up the items dislodged by the decompression.
“What have you got, Tank?” Lucas storms onto the flight deck.
“Major, I’ve got two Blades, badly damaged and a missing deck hand. Lorre.”
“She’s in medical, serious condition. It’ll be awhile before she’s back. Pass the word, everyone fills in.”
“Yes sir. Sir?”
“What?”
“You’re back, sir?”
“Cleared for light duty. Who’s working on the Blades...” As Tank fills him in Lucas realizes they’re in for a long day.
Chapter Seven
“Where do you want me?” Dodge finds Lucas giving orders on the flight deck.
“What are you doing here?” he demands.
“Lorre kicked me out, told me to go do my job.”
“How is she?”
“The same.”
“I want that Blade up and running by 1800, can you handle it?”
“Yeah. How are the hands feeling?”
“Getting sore.” Lucas has to be honest with his second in command.
“Then take a break. Tori will have both our asses if you have a setback.” When he gets no response, he looks at his friend. “Lucas?”
“Yeah, I hear you.” Turning he walks into his office closing the hatch. What is he going to do about the mess he’s made with Victoria? He needs advice. Before he can stop himself, he enters a code and pulls on the headset.
“Zafar.”
“Dad, it's Lucas.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I need your advice.” Leaning back, he tells his father everything.
“Fuck Lucas, could you have screwed it up more?” William sighs.
“I know. I just wanted her to see me as a man, not some childhood hero, and somehow it went wrong.”
“It went wrong because you don’t know what she’s gone through since you left. The crap she’s had to put up with.”
“What do you mean?” Lucas sits up stiffly. “You promised to protect her.”
“And I did! Cassandra did! Nevertheless, you know that only goes so far. Was I able to protect you in the Academy? In the fleet? From the comments, the slurs?”
“You’re telling me Victoria’s had to put up with that crap?”
“It’s worse than that, Lucas. There are those that claim she’s not ‘Carinian’ and therefore has no rights.”
“That’s bullshit!”
“It is, but she’s heard it, there was no way for her not to and we weren’t going to leave her unprepared.”
“You told her?”
“Yes, we couldn’t send her to school not knowing what she was facing. It made her… selective, very selective of who she’d reveal her true self too. She would always interact but few if any became friends. She never brought a friend home and when she excelled beyond what even Cassandra expected, well, that presented a whole new set of complications.”
“Complications?”
“Lucas, she was fifteen competing with twenty-two cycles for positions. Grown men and women, and she was better. It didn’t go over well. It caused a lot of hard feels. Comments were made about why she was accepted. You, of all people should understand that.”
“And you couldn’t have done anything?”
“Would it have helped you?”
“No.” He sighs heavily. “It would have made it worse.”
“Yes, so whenever we sensed it was becoming too much, that she needed some
thing, we’d force you to come home.”
“What? I hardly spent any time with her!”
“But what you did, whether for an official visual or just a valsa, gave her what she needed to survive it. Like you did during the Challenge. Now you’ve taken it away from her. Making her doubt everything and everyone, including herself. Making her wonder if those people were right and she doesn’t belong here, with us.”
“God dad, what do I do?”
“You fix it!”
“How! I’ve told her I love her, she doesn’t believe it. She thinks it’s transference from the treatments.”
“You make her believe you and if she doesn’t you keep telling her until she does, and Lucas, the problem is she wants to believe you, that’s why she’s fighting it so hard. She won’t survive losing you twice.”
“It started because I told her the truth, at least part of it.”
“Then tell her the rest and Lucas, it’s going to take time. You have to regain her trust.”
“I know,” Lucas pauses. “So I suppose I can’t gain it if I fake needing treatments.”
“What do you mean fake?” William demands. “Are you telling me you’ve completed your treatments?”
“Just today, Magnes cleared me for light duty. I still need to rebuild my hand strength, Victoria says a couple weeks. Then I should be back in a Blade.”
“You have full use of your hands?”
“Yes.” His father’s stunned silence has Lucas looking at his scarred hands.
“I owe that girl more than I can ever repay.”
“You tell her that and she’ll say she owes you.”
“Owes me!” Lucas hears the rage in his father’s voice.
“Pisses you off, doesn’t it,” Lucas tells his father. “That she’d think we were keeping score.”
“Fix this, Lucas,” William orders. “I want my daughter back.”
“Trust me, dad, I will. I’ve got a good grip and I’m trusting it.”
“What?”
“Long story. Give Cassie and the boys my love.”
“I will. I expect to hear from you soon.” With that, the High Admiral disconnects.