by Peyton Storm
“Pan.”
Her piercing glare didn’t quite match her request, but I nodded nonetheless.
“Dick,” she mumbled as she made her way to the kitchen.
“I heard that!” I yelled over my shoulder and dialed.
Presley did everything in her power to keep the conversation, or lack thereof, light. She knew as well as I did that there was much more to say. She just wasn’t quite ready to say it, nor hear it, and that was okay by me.
While she kept herself busy in the kitchen, I shot D a text to check-in. To my relief, he didn’t question me. He didn’t mention Presley at all, actually. He only mentioned an appearance he had signed off on for the following day. A surprise Meet and Greet with some local junior athletes. I didn’t mind one bit. In fact, part of me was kind of looking forward to it. Still, could he at least think to ask me first next time?
“Yes, Mrs. Hannigan,” I replied, then shoved my phone back in my pocket and went to see what Presley was up to.
She still didn’t speak but stepped around me and pulled two coffee mugs from her cabinet. Again, I followed her lead and went in search of sugar and grabbed the half and half from the fridge. She poured, I stirred. We each grabbed a mug, and I followed her out the sliding glass doors that led to the small terrace overlooking her backyard. We left the door open just enough to be able to hear when lunch arrived.
We were side by side, laid back in her lawn chairs, taking in the late morning Texas sun. Add this to the list of things I always loved about Presley, her easy silence. She’d never been one of those girls who had to keep conversation going just for the hell of it, simply because they liked the sound of their own voice. I hadn’t known a calm like hers since the day I walked away, leaving absolute destruction in my path. I’d left her to clean it up, to rebuild. And she did. I had no one else to blame though every fiber of my being wanted to.
Twenty-eight minutes and forty-four seconds later, her doorbell pulled me from my thoughts. I felt the urge to stretch my legs out before I slowly rose to my feet. My body was shit. Surely they had a decent massage therapist in town. I was past due for a deep tissue.
I stumbled through her home and made my way to the front door, all the while wondering why the thought had crossed my mind at all. My time there was all but done. After tomorrow’s meeting, I could head straight to Houston, book a real massage with a therapist who specializes in athletes. Ninety minutes later, I could hop and plane and put this sleepy town behind me. I ignored the sudden ache in my chest and opened the door.
He couldn’t have been but sixteen, seventeen tops. He had his bright red, company logo hat pulled down low, and his glasses slid towards the tip of his nose. He probably weighed a buck o’five on a good day, but he stood tall, and his wide grin seemed genuine. It took about three point five seconds for him to realize who I was, and I had to admit it was flattering. After he picked his jaw up off the front porch, I found myself wanting to know a little more about this awkward kid who worked two full-time jobs.
Presley
For the first time, for as long as I’d known him, Greyson listened. He truly listened, despite my ramblings. The words came tumbling out, and it was a relief I didn’t know I needed. He’d hurt me in a way no one else has or could.
My mother? Well, that was biological, decided by science, nothing more. Greyson had chosen me, above all others, yet in the end, he also chose to give me away. Someway, somehow, that pain ran much deeper. For me, it wasn’t a matter of blood being thicker than water. Family had little in common with biology, but in my case, both had cast me aside. The little girl in me had nothing left to say to my mother but for Greyson, the woman I’d become had a mouthful.
Over time, my bitterness towards Greyson intensified, dug deep into my soul. Truly, out of everyone involved, he’d been the least affected. He would argue the notion, I was sure, but I had been the one left behind. It had been me, not Greyson, that had to face the look in my father’s eyes when he realized my life was forever changed.
It had been me who stood by and watched Carter rearrange his entire future to do the right thing. It was me who witnessed my dance teacher’s eyes swell with tears when she realized I wouldn’t make it out of Ocean Falls after all.
I chose to have sex with both Greyson and Carter that night, but for Greyson to go completely unscathed seemed wrong. He hadn’t been around for my eventful pregnancy. He didn’t know I damn near bled out on the table, or that Paisley had been eight weeks premature and born with her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck.
While doctors could never really pinpoint the reasoning for her early arrival, I couldn’t help but blame myself and my inability to put her first. During my pregnancy, there had been two possible fathers. It wasn’t until I was wheeled into the NICU and caught a glimpse of her ice-blue eyes was I sure. Daddy prospect number one had been long gone while Carter, on the other hand, waited just outside the door every single fucking day until I finally invited him in to meet his daughter. His support saved the both of us. Paisley began to thrive, and I finally exhaled. I would love him for the rest of my life. Only it was a different kind of love, one that most would never understand. Greyson included.
Carter was the most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on, and I couldn’t ask for a better father for my daughter. Ultimately, I had no regrets, and quite honestly, I didn’t believe that was something Greyson could handle hearing.
What the hell was wrong with me? The realization that I was a walking disaster was too much. My eyes stung as I bit my tongue, and the next thing I knew, Greyson’s imposing frame pressed against my back. It would have been so easy to forget about everything and simply melt into him, but I knew what I had to do. I had to create some distance, get my shit straight, and have a long talk with Carter. I owed him that much, if not so much more.
Once you share a kid with someone, no matter what, they’re a part of your forever. We were a package deal of sorts, and there was a lot of unfinished business. I wasn’t yet sure what I wanted from Greyson, if anything, but Carter was a factor, and he always would be. He wasn’t a guy I would finally be rid of once Paisley turned eighteen; he was a guy I hoped to have by my side always. He was my best friend. Of course, Belle would have something to say about that.
I had so much to figure out. Being careless wasn’t an option. I had two hearts on the line. Two hearts that I refused to break. It was non-negotiable. If I were to be honest with myself, the unfinished business with Carter went a little deeper than I cared to admit.
I pulled myself from my thoughts long enough to notice Greyson was no longer sitting beside me, and I could hear the faint sound of noises coming from inside the house. Lunch. My stomach grumbled at the realization and brought me to my feet.
A word here, a word there. By the time I reached them, I was intrigued by the conversation that was taking place between Greyson and the pizza delivery guy. Correction, not guy. Kid. When I peeked around the corner, I couldn’t help but grin.
I never made my presence known. Instead, I listened closely as the young man told his story. Greyson listened without interruption and only asked questions once the kid was done. I no longer cared about lunch and instead watched in awe as Greyson took the kid’s phone and entered his contact info. There was talk of a full scholarship if he kept his GPA up. The kid stood shell-shocked, in total disbelief.
“Keep doing what you’re doing, kid. I myself suck with numbers, computers, but that shit will take you places.”
I could see the kid’s bottom lip start to quiver though he tried with all his might to keep it together. Greyson teasingly punched his shoulder and then dug into his wallet. It was at least a couple hundred dollar bills, if not more. He then whipped out his purple Sharpie and autographed the kid’s cap. It all became too much, and the kid had to pull his glasses from his face to swipe below his eyes.
“Thank you, sir. I’ll do
my best. Promise.”
A firm handshake later, and we were eating cold pizza in sweet silence. I didn’t mention what I had witnessed. I figured it was Greyson’s story to tell if he chose to.
“See me out?” he asked, and when I nodded in return, he took my hand and led me to my front door. Before turning the knob, he turned to me and grinned. It was fleeting but beautiful nonetheless.
“I don’t know what to do or say here, Pres. I just know I’m not ready to say goodbye. It’s messy, baby. A full-on shit show even.”
His chuckle rang hollow.
“Think on it. If you’d consider making a bit of room for me in your life, get in touch, yeah?”
I couldn’t, for whatever reason, look him in the eye, but he continued anyway.
“If not, I promise I won’t leave without a proper farewell. Not this time.”
Torn and finding myself equally unsure, fixating on the words he left with, it just didn’t sit well. He turned to leave, but I grabbed a handful of the hem of his shirt. He didn’t hesitate to spin back to face me. My courage stalled, but only for a second. I had to be honest with myself. I couldn’t say, in that moment, whether or not I could see him in my life in any real shape or form. The only thing of which I was certain was that I needed more if that were to be my final memory of him.
I broke our gaze and glanced down to see I still had a firm grip on his shirt. When I pulled, he came. Willingly but with reservations.
“Can I kiss you?”
I didn’t want to push for more than he was willing to give.
“Yes,” he whispered, and I stole what little breath escaped from his lips.
He tasted like home, familiar and safe. Greyson deepened our kiss, and my body drew taut as the tip of his tongue danced along the roof of my mouth. It was a slow drawl, and he reeled me in with every pull. My hand slipping between us caught him off guard, and through a gasp of air, he managed to pull away.
“Stop. Pres, I beg you. Let me walk out that door before I do something you’ll regret.”
Regret. Such a heavy, soul-crushing word. I took my chance.
“This could be our forever goodbye Greyson. Back then, you were my everything. I put you before myself, and you’ve since been replaced with a little spitfire with bouncy curls and ice-blue eyes. She will always come first. I don’t know who or what will fall into second. What I do know is, if this is goodbye, I need the memory of you to run deep.”
His voice broke when he replied, “What are you saying, Presley?”
“I’m saying that if this is our final chapter…”
I couldn’t finish my sentence and took a second to gather my thoughts. Only they were scattered, meaning my words wouldn’t form into anything even remotely coherent. I was scared of losing my nerve, and so I took a deep breath and let it go. I decided then and there to lay it all out on the table.
“I know I should insert some pretty words here, but I just need you inside me. Balls deep. Like old times.”
I paused long enough to give him an out, an opportunity to walk away. Instead, he stood completely still as his chest rose and fell at a hard, steady pace. Say something, damn it. Only he didn’t.
I reached up, taking the sides of his face in my hands, and urged him closer. Once I felt his warm, ragged breath against my face, all reservations slipped away.
“Can I touch you?’
My heart felt lodged in my throat as I awaited his response.
“Please,” he breathed, and I dropped to my knees.
The picture frames rattled when he slammed his palms against the wall alongside his hips. I reached for him, and in my hand, he was strong, hard, and urgent. I was at the point of no return, and a reminder felt necessary. My fingers dug deep into the backs of his thighs until his eyes shot open and looked down at me.
“I can’t promise you tomorrow,” I warned, and then I took him to the back of my throat.
Chapter 19
Greyson
His name was Howie, and while puberty was kicking his ass from all directions, the kid had two of the many things I had lacked back in high school: smarts and the drive to actually apply them. His home situation was similar to my own, and for that, I guess I was feeling generous.
There had been people who’d seen something in me too but for much different reasons. Until Dax, there’d been no real father figure in my life. Wait, that’s not exactly true. Uncle Jake did the best he could, but he was a man of few words and even less outright emotions. He was old school, an honorable man, but it wasn’t till Dax that I was pushed to say my shit out loud.
No one was really in a position to give me a good head start. Ball was it for me, I had always known that. That kid, though, his possibilities were endless. But he’d have trouble getting where he needed to be, even though he was holding down two jobs.
Dax would have my ass for having already offered my first scholarship before things were finalized. We were focused on the draft. But even if I were to go undrafted, my goal had always been to set up something to help out those kids, who like me, came from nothing. Howie, I’d hoped, would be the first of many.
I plugged an email into his phone, where he’d need to send all of his info to get things rolling. His heartfelt gratitude was so true and pure. It felt good to do for someone else, to play some kind of role in bettering their future.
As I forced down cold pizza, I realized maybe I should continue the streak. I had no right to be sitting beside her. No right to share her space. We weren’t butting heads at that moment, but it was surely just a matter of time.
What I wouldn’t give for us to be able to go back to being those stupid, love-struck kids who lived and breathed one another. Back to before I fucked it all up. I wanted to somehow be a factor in her life, but at the same time, I owed it to her to not complicate her life any further.
Before I opened my big mouth one way or the other, I decided that for once in my life, I’d think before I acted. For that, I would need a clear head. I glanced over just in time to see her dissect the last slice.
Pres could never just pick the damn thing up and simply take a bite. Oh no, that would be too...I don’t know, normal? She was a picker. First was the pepperoni, followed by any and all mushrooms. She saved the cheese for last. She would pinch and pull off a piece only to swirl it around in the sauce underneath before plopping it into her mouth. It was cute. So fucking cute.
It was also my cue to head out. There would be no head clearing as long as I had her near.
She agreed to walk me out, and my mind became more and more jumbled with each step. I didn’t know what to say exactly, so I just opened my mouth in hopes that something coherent would spill out. What happened next could only be described as unexpected. Damn woman had me tongue-tied only to wrap hers around me.
My head dropped back, hands reached down, and her wavy locks coiled around my fingers. It took everything I had not to urge her closer. She withdrew with an audible pop that lingered in the air.
“Do you want me to stop?” she whispered.
“Hmm, I’ve got something else in mind, darlin’.”
I scooped her up and laid her across the first flat surface I could find, which happened to be her coffee table. It wasn’t exactly romantic, but neither of us seemed to care. We made quick work of one another’s clothes, and it was my turn to have a taste.
With each flick of my tongue, her back arched, lifting her off the table. My free hand spanned across her stomach to keep her steady. My mind began to race at the thought of finally being inside of her once I forced away the thoughts of before.
There was no him, it was just the two of us, and it felt right.
Condom.
Fuck my life.
I didn’t have a condom.
I’d stopped dipping my dick in the community pool ages ago, and truth be told, never in a mil
lion years did I think I would actually be back here with Presley. She didn’t panic. Instead, she smirked, slid out from under me, and headed down the hallway. I didn’t hesitate to follow despite the ache in my chest at the thought of her keeping condoms on hand in her bedroom.
I stood close behind as she opened the second drawer of her nightstand. Over her shoulder, I could see the brightly colored squares scattered in her drawer. I tried to do the quick math but couldn’t, for the life of me, remember how many came in a standard box anyway.
While we hadn’t been one another’s first, and I guess my mind hadn’t quite come to terms with the fact that we hadn’t been one another’s only. I was a grown-ass man for God’s sake, and Presley was now a woman. Of course, she had a sex life. Obviously. Though that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
She was stunning, but even more so, she carried an energy about her that would bring any man to his knees. I was no exception.
“Grey?”
My eyes snapped back to her, though slightly, as I was beyond mortified for having checked out for a minute.
“Where’d ya go just now?”
What could I possibly say that wouldn’t paint me the asshole again?
“Are you having second thoughts? I mean, we don’t have to…”
I had to cut her off, and hopefully that train of thought as well. I reached out and linked our pinkies like old times. What I wouldn’t give to be able to go back.
“Pres, no. Trust me, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. I just...”
There was nothing more frustrating than knowing exactly what I wanted to say, only the words couldn’t make their way out. Realization flashed across her face. She thought she had me figured out.
“Oh. I see.”
It could only end badly, and so I braced myself for her tongue lashing. Instead, she smiled warmly and stepped a little bit closer.
“I’m not that shy girl anymore. But just because I have a bowl of condoms in my drawer doesn’t mean I’m hiding something. If anything, it means I was a teen mom who’s still figuring it all out. Hell, you’re lucky I’m not slipping on a hazmat suit right about now.”