“Sure.”
I read between the lines of what he’s saying, but at the end of the meeting when he asks to see me in his office, I know there must be more to it. And when Kay steps into the room with a folder full of papers, it confirms it.
“I’ve been doing some digging,” she says, sitting next to me on the sofa. “I’ve been trying to find out where he’s been for the last however many years since Kitty last saw him.”
“Okay.” I lean forward and take the folder from her. “What did you find?”
I look up when she’s silent for a beat and find her staring at Ty, a silent conversation going on between them.
“Nothing,” she finally tells me when she turns to face me.
I frown, flicking through the papers and seeing exactly what she said—nothing.
“He was a ghost?”
“Looks like it,” Ty says, crossing his arms over his chest. “I need to follow him.”
Tilting my head to the side, I close the folder and throw it down on the seat next to me. “That’s why you asked him to stay on the compound?”
He nods. “I need to see what he does when he thinks no one will be here.”
“You gonna be close by?”
“Yeah.”
Standing up, I stretch my arms out. “Well I’m gonna head to bed for a few. I’ll be back around midnight tonight.”
I take a step toward the door, but when Kay calls out to me, I stop.
“I have a bad feeling about this, Luke.” Facing her, I raise my brow. “I already told Ty, something seems off, but not in the normal way. I… I can’t put my finger on it.”
I wait, knowing there’s more she wants to say, but she holds back, grasping her hands in her lap.
“You got a feeling?” I ask.
“Yeah… I…” She blows out a breath. “Never mind, just be careful.”
I hesitate, knowing there’s more that needs to be said, but instead of acknowledging it, I say, “I always am.”
I pull my lips up into a smile before walking out of the office and over the mats toward Evan. I’m about to cash in the favor he owes me for fixing Lexi up. I told myself I wouldn’t do it, but it doesn’t matter how many times I try to tell myself I’m not gonna get involved, I can’t not.
“You owe me one,” I tell Evan, causing him to jump in his seat.
“Jeez, Luke! You scared me.”
Rolling my eyes, I then raise a brow. “You’re a pussy.”
“Hey! I am not!”
Laughing, I widen my stance. “Yeah, you are. Remember that time you thought there was a rat in your—”
“Okay, okay.” He throws his hands up in the air. “I get it.”
He turns around, before his fingers fly over the keys of his keyboard, his gaze flitting between several screens at the same time.
“You owe me one,” I repeat. “For fixing Lexi up.”
“Right.”
He doesn’t look at me as I step closer, looking around to make sure no one else can hear me. “I need a cell.”
“So go buy one.”
“I need one I can track, one I can switch on and listen in from my cell, one I can—”
“Yeah, okay, Luke. I get ya.” He continues typing before pressing enter and pushing his chair back. “When do you need it for?”
“Tonight.”
He doesn’t ask anything else as he pulls out a box, and opens it, revealing a cell. “I’ll put everything you need on here. I’ll bring it to you when it’s ready.”
My muscles are tense, watching as he turns it on before connecting it to his computer. I’m antsy, wanting it now before anyone can ask why I want it. I won’t tell them, but I also don’t have a good enough excuse as to why I need it.
Stepping back, I say, “Thanks,” before running my hand down my face and walking toward the door, wondering if I’m doing the right thing. My head says I’m not, but my gut is screaming at me to do more. To push and find out if what we think is happening is true. I need a solution and this is the only answer I have right now.
“Everything okay?” Evan asks when I’m pulling open the warehouse door.
I don’t answer him before yanking open the door the rest of the way and stepping outside.
I have no fucking idea if it is, but I know if I can help, I will. I’m already invested.
LILY
I stare at the sunset, wrapping my jacket around me tighter. I can see the light from my dad’s office shining out of the corner of my eye, and I can’t help but let my mind wander to last night.
The burning sensation still rolls over my skin, the back of my legs sore when I touch them. I’m afraid to look and see what they’re like, afraid it’ll be the end of keeping my composure. If I can’t see the marks, I can pretend they’re not there at all.
I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the way my brain has to work until I get out of there—out of this town, out of that house, out from under him.
Nine weeks. The time couldn’t come sooner.
My gaze flicks down to my watch, counting down the minutes until I have to be home. I’m meant to be at Kim’s but after seeing Luke this morning and watching the way his eyes darkened when he saw I was hurt, I knew I couldn’t be around her.
If he saw it, there’s no doubt she’ll see it too.
I should tell them what’s happening, but there’s only so many times I can tell people what goes on behind that closed door and be laughed at in the face, no one believing me. But that’s okay, because as soon as I can, I’ll be escaping.
Gone, never to be seen here again.
The thought of having a pain-free life brings a smile to my face, but it soon leaves when I hear footsteps come closer.
My palms start to sweat, my fingers shaking. I clasp them tightly in my lap, trying to get them under control, but it only gets worse as the footsteps get closer.
He never comes in this field, but something changed last night. The way his hand hovered over the marks, the noise he made in the back of his throat. It had a red warning sign blasting through my head, louder and brighter than ever before.
I feel him looming over me when he comes to a stop and I hold my breath. Waiting for—
“Lily?”
I gasp at the deep voice; a voice I heard only this morning.
“Luke?” My gaze clashes with his, squinting in the darkening sky around us. “What are you doing?” My voice is a mere whisper as I try to control my reaction.
“It’s Tuesday,” he says simply as he sits down beside me. I gulp when he brings his knees up and rests his forearms over the top of them.
He doesn’t look at me, instead watching the sky I was just staring at. Does he see what I do when I look at it?
The silence wraps around us, neither of us willing or wanting to fill it. My back is ramrod straight, my ass and legs burning from the position I’m in, but my pulse seems to slow the longer he’s beside me.
His sandalwood scent mixes with the smell of the flowers, and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and soaking it all in. Seconds ago I thought I was about to be hurt, but now I know I’m not. At least, not by Luke anyway.
I don’t know why I know that, I just do.
I shouldn’t feel like this with him next to me. I should be worried my dad could look out the window of his office and see us sitting here. But a part of me can’t seem to muster anything up to care. He’ll reprimand me again I’m sure, and more than likely for something that wasn’t my fault. This way at least if he catches me, it’ll be for something I wanted.
“You sit here often?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, afraid to talk too loudly. “My best memories are in this field.”
I turn to face him, swallowing at his side profile. He’s the kind of man that’s ruggedly handsome, jagged edges surrounding him with pain in his eyes. A pain that calls to me on some unknown level.
When his gaze meets mine, the pain is so loud and clear it almost takes my breath away, but I keep it
locked inside, not willing to ask him what it is.
He wouldn’t tell me anyway. He doesn't know me.
So why does it feel like I already know him after only being around him for such a short amount of time?
“Tell me one of them.”
I swallow, not moving my gaze from his eyes, wrapping my arms around my middle, and biting my bottom lip before wincing from the pain of the cut.
He opens his mouth, his gaze zoning in on the action but I don’t let him get a word out before I say, “My mom would spend hours in this field.” I look away, staring at the flowers I can only see the outline of now that the sun has gone down. “She’d run through the flowers, me chasing her, playing hide-and-seek, picking the flowers and making headbands from them.” My eyes close, taking me right back to the last time we were in this field. “The last time she said to me, ‘Lily, know that if you ever need to be with me, I’ll be right here, surrounding you with these flowers.’” I open my eyes, wiping away a stray tear. “At the time, I didn’t understand what she was saying, but now I know. And she was right.” I let out a long breath. “Every time I sit here, I can feel her around me, feel the safeness of her arms, feel the… escape she created for me.”
Luke is silent for the longest time, so long I have to turn to make sure he’s still there, but when I do, I find him watching me.
“You miss her.” It’s a statement, one I nod at to confirm. “I know what it’s like to have a good mom… but I also know what it’s like to have a shell of a mom too.” He runs his hands down his face and back up, grabbing onto his blond hair as he murmurs, “What am I doing?” He shakes his head, standing up and planting his hands on his hips.
I scramble up after him, not wanting this to be over yet, but knowing I only have a few minutes before I have to be back.
“What’s your favorite color?” I blurt out, trying to gain his attention.
It works, because he looks over at me with wide eyes before his lips quirk up on one side. “Right now it’s blue.”
“Mine’s purple,” I reply immediately, smiling and shuffling on the spot, trying to hold back the wince as my skirt rubs against the marks on my legs.
We stand staring, just like we did this morning. So many things passing between us, but nothing spoken out loud before he reaches into his pocket and clears his throat.
“I’m gonna say something now, and I want you to listen.” He pauses a beat. “You don’t need to answer me, you don’t have to ever use it, but…” He tips his head back, cursing under his breath. “I know something is—” I open my mouth, my eyes widening, but when he holds his hand up, his eyes sparking, I close it. “Something is happening. I have my suspicions, and I know it’s none of my fuckin’ business. But… I don’t know that the hell is going on here… I haven’t…” He shakes his head, holding something out to me. “Take it.”
Reaching forward, I slowly take it from his hand, and look down at it. “A cell?”
When I look back up, he nods. “Yeah… you ever need anything, you dial one and I’ll answer.”
“But—”
“It’s there if you need it, my number is programed in as ‘A.’”
I look down at it with both confusion and relief. How can two emotions intertwine and have you feeling both safe and in danger at the same time?
“I…” Staring back up at him, I’m at a loss for words. He knows, he can see it, but neither of us say it out loud. I almost want him to demand I tell him. Maybe he could help? What is it Kim said he did for work? I know he used to be in the Marines, but that’s about it. “Thank you.”
He nods, taking a step back and pushing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “You’re welcome.” He turns around but stops before spinning back and blurting out, “You ever been bowling?” I shake my head, my mouth not able to work. “It’s Mom’s birthday next week, I thought we could go?” He clears his throat. “The three of us?”
Frowning, I turn to face my house, the office light switched off but the kitchen one shining bright.
“We’ll do it on Tuesday,” Luke says. “Meet us at Mom’s—normal time.”
Just as I’m about to tell him okay, I turn around, but he’s walking away, the darkness swallowing him up.
LUKE
My eyes burn from lack of sleep as I wait outside Mal and Cal’s house—Evan’s parents—but it’s a sensation I’m used to. Nights are the worst. When darkness closes in, it gives way for the memories to creep back in, allowing them a space in my mind.
I drum my fingers against the steering wheel, trying to occupy my mind with anything but what will surely happen tonight when I get into bed again.
My gaze flicks to the time on the dash.
It’s been several days since I gave Lily the cell, and not once has she used it. I can’t decide whether it’s a good thing or not. I’m denying that I want to hear her voice.
Fuck!
Pulling my cell out, I shoot off a message to my mom, asking if she’s seen Lily. I know I’m opening myself up to questions I don’t have the answers to, but I can’t stop myself from sending the message as the sound of a door closes. I’m being sucked in, and no matter how many times I try to grab hold of something to pull myself back, it doesn’t work.
Turning my head as I drop my cell on my lap, I watch Evan running down the path and open the car door, saying, “Let’s go,” before slapping his hand on the dash. Pulling away from the curb, I side-eye him, wondering why he wants me to hurry.
The silence wraps around us and I can’t stop my brain from flicking back to Lily. My grip tightens on the steering wheel, my mind running away with me as I think of how fragile she looked a couple of nights ago in the field.
I never thought I’d have to go and find her, but when she didn’t turn up at Mom’s, my gut told me something was wrong, especially after seeing her that same morning and the cut on her lip.
Fuck. I shouldn’t be getting closer to her, but it doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that, it’s never going to happen. I’m already worrying about her and wanting to call the cell I gave her.
What the hell am I doing? I swore I wouldn’t get involved, yet here I am, not able to get her out of my mind.
I shouldn’t be feeling the connection with her that I do; especially as she’s a decade younger than me.
So why is it when I look into her eyes I feel like I just came home?
I flick my gaze over to Evan who is watching me like a fuckin’ creeper.
“What happened?” I growl out, trying to distract myself.
He heaves a breath. “Someone slashed my tires, Eric picked up my car last night, I need to head over to see how much damage is done.”
“You know who did it?”
He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in the seat. “I have an idea, but I need to check my cameras.”
Neither of us say anything as I drive us toward the auto body repair shop.
“What’s up with you?” he asks after the silence has stretched longer than he finds acceptable.
“None of your goddamn business.”
“Whoa.” He holds his hands up. “Time of the month?”
I growl louder before lifting my hand and smacking my fist onto the steering wheel.
This is fucking bullshit! I shouldn’t be feeling like I want to drive over to her high school and pull her out, demanding to know what the hell is going on. I shouldn’t be messaging my mom asking if she’s seen the seventeen-year-old girl today. Fuck. Shit!
“Luke! What the fuck?”
I ignore him, my nostrils flaring as my chest heaves up and down before I slam the brakes outside the shop.
“Luke?” he tries again.
I turn to face him, staring daggers at him as I grind out, “I need to—” I snap my attention to my cell as it beeps, opening up the message but seeing Dean’s fuckin’ name. Dean! Fuckin’ Dean. Throwing my head back, I groan long and loud, needing to get my mind off anything to do with—
“You know you can talk to me,” he tells me.
“I know.” I sigh, scrubbing my hand up and down my face before turning back to face him. I’m about to open my mouth and tell him what’s going on, but what comes out is, “My mom is on my back about...” I swallow, knowing I’m lying. “I need to go and see her.”
He tilts his head. “You need me to come with you?”
“No.”
He shrugs, but I see the way his honey eyes watch me, knowing there’s more to it. I keep my mouth closed, not willing to expose myself to him—to anyone.
“Thanks for the ride, I’ll see you at the compound.”
I don’t acknowledge him as he gets out, and as soon as the door is shut, I squeal out of the lot, my body working on automatic as I drive toward my mom’s place.
Why am I so bothered? So what if she hasn’t called or messaged, maybe nothing has happened. Or maybe something has happened and she can’t get to the cell.
Slamming my palm down on the steering wheel, I curse up a storm before coming to a stop at the red light at the edge of town. This isn’t my problem, none of it is. I need to stay away, I need to not get involved.
Yeah, because that’s been working so far, right?
The light turns green but I don’t move, I keep idling, waiting for my mind to catch up with my body. If I turn right I’ll head toward Mom’s town, but if I turn left, I’ll head back to the compound where I belong.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, centering myself before opening my eyes back up and pressing my foot on the gas pedal.
I turn left, going back home. Home where the only problem to solve is who the fuck Dean is.
I’ve become good at compartmentalizing everything over the years, pushing things away in their own little boxes and locking them up tight.
My dad: locked away in a part of my brain that only comes out on certain nights when I can’t control what I think.
My lost friends from the forces: pushed to the side where I don’t remember over and over again the smell of their burning skin or their screams of pain when there was nothing I could do to help them.
My mom crying after another beating: pushed so far down it’d be impossible to come back up.
Catching Teardrops Page 7