“Let’s go.”
I don’t move when he steps back, my feet glued to the ground. I feel like if I take a step toward him, I’m making a major decision. A decision for what I’m not sure, but it feels like it’ll change everything. Am I ready for things to change? To take the leap in my own life and not look back? The answer is a resounding yes, but my plan sticks out above all the rest. Seven weeks until I can legally escape this life I’ve been living, run away from the pain and anguish.
He waits, his gaze connected with mine, silently telling me to move toward him.
“Okay,” I breathe out, taking a step and feeling a weight lifting off my shoulders.
We both walk to his SUV in silence, and he opens up the back door for me when we get there. Slipping inside, I then lean forward, trying to shake what just happened. There’s always something with Luke that has me thinking there’s more behind his looks and the way his body moves. Maybe I’m imagining it, but whether I am or not, it’s making the days a little brighter, making me feel more like me. The me I used to be before… everything.
“Happy birthday, Kim.”
Turning her head, she smiles wide at me. “Thank you. I’m so glad you’re coming.” Taking my hand, she squeezes it. “I haven’t been bowling in years.” She laughs, the sound a tinkle in the air. “Last time I went, I couldn’t get the ball to knock even one pin over.”
Grinning, I lean back and put my belt on, moving my gaze to Luke as he looks in the mirror to reverse out of the driveway. I swallow at the intensity in his eyes, squirming in my seat.
Kim fills the silence, talking about anything and everything while I look out the window.
The conversation between Luke and Kim is easy, her talking about what has been going on in the flower shop she runs, while Luke grunts and murmurs at the appropriate times. I can’t help the grin spread on my face when he acts as if he knows all of the different kinds of flowers. I can tell he doesn’t know and that he’s just going along with it.
The bright lights of the bowling place shine as Luke pulls into the packed lot and parks toward the back. My hands twist in my lap as I spot a group of teenagers laughing as they walk inside.
I never thought about seeing someone from school here. What if—
“Lily?”
My head whips up at the open door, Kim and Luke standing watching me, a worried look in Kim’s eyes but understanding in Luke’s as he spots the same group of teenagers.
“Come on.” Kim shakes her arms out. “I need to get my bowl on. Can’t let this big guy beat me… again.” She spins around, moving her arms forward and backward.
“She’s right… I will beat her again.” Luke’s lips lift up into a small grin and I can’t help but want to sit here for the next few hours and just stare at him. “Come on, the lane is booked for eighteen thirty.”
I raise a brow at the way he says the time before shaking my head. “Right.” Jumping down from the SUV, I wobble slightly, but Luke’s hand reaching out for my arm steadies me. “Thanks.” He grunts in response before closing the door and pushing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he walks beside me.
“So, erm… you used to be in the Marines?” Turning my head, I watch Luke, his step faltering a little as he looks at me, his eyes guarded. Clearing my throat, I start, “You said…” Shaking my head, I try again. “You told my… dad.”
He nods, pulling one of his hands out and scrubbing his face with it. “Yeah, I was the medic among other things.”
“What was it like?”
He stares at me, but the film shuttering over his eyes tells me he’s not right here with me, he’s inside his own head, remembering something.
Placing my hand on his arm when we make it to the door, his body jerks, his head whipping back and forth, a lost look working its way over his face.
“I shouldn’t have asked.” I wait a beat before whispering, “Sorry,” and pulling open the door, stepping through it.
The feel of Luke’s warmth settles on my back, his hand grasping my wrist, firmly but not so much it hurts, more to get my attention than anything. “I’m gonna say this once, and once only,” he whispers in my ear, his breath skirting across my neck as he breathes deep. “You never have to apologize to me.” Pulling back, he turns me slightly. “Got it?”
“Ye-ah,” I stutter.
“And you never have to be afraid of me.” His gaze flicks between my eyes, the ice blue turning a shade darker. “Ever.”
Nodding, I don’t move my gaze from his, feeling like he’s pulling me into his web with no intent of letting me go anytime soon.
“Come on, kids! Let’s get our bowl on.”
Neither of us look away at the sound of Kim’s voice, instead Luke steps closer, bringing his point home, and I understand him fully. He can see it, he saw my reactions on Sunday... he knows. The thought of him knowing has me relaxing, my shoulders slumping and my body swaying toward him because one thing shines through his otherworldly eyes: belief.
He breaks the connection as he lets go of my arm and tilts his head. I swallow, nodding and turning around before walking toward Kim who’s standing at the shoe bar with her bowling shoes already on her feet.
I tell the guy what size I am before slipping my ballet flats off, grimacing when I spot another hole on the side. Pulling the socks out of my pocket, I then pull them on before sitting down next to Kim and pushing my feet into the shoes.
“I’m so excited,” she says, the grin on her face uncontrollable. “Tonight is the night I’m gonna beat him.”
“Unlikely,” Luke grunts from the other side of her, pulling his own shoes on before standing up and checking his cell. “Fuck.”
“Everything okay?” Kim asks him, standing up.
“Yeah, just… work.”
Pushing his cell into his pocket, he rolls his shoulders back and tilts his head. “We’re lane five.”
Kim rubs her hands together. “Five is my lucky number.”
She skips off ahead, Luke behind her and me trailing behind him. I feel like now would be the time to speak up and tell them I’ve never done this before, but instead I watch with keen eyes as they set up and both take their turns.
As soon as Kim tells me I’m up, I start to panic. What if I accidentally fling the ball into someone else’s lane? The kids are using ramps at the start of the lanes, maybe I should—
“Lily? It’s your turn.”
“I know.” I nod at Luke, my hands smoothing over all the balls lined up, different sizes written on them. What do they mean? Picking up the pink ball—because I figure pink means girl and girl means not as heavy—I don’t expect the weight of it and nearly pull my shoulder out of its socket. “Crap.”
Not letting the weight of it distract me, I use my other hand to hold it too, bending my knees slightly and letting go of the ball with a little push. It gets a third of the way down the lane before going into the gutter, rolling slowly before it gets to the end.
“I erm…” I bite my bottom lip, turning around and looking at Kim and Luke. “I’ve never been bowling before.”
Kim’s eyes widen before a sad look comes over her face and I just know she’s going to say something I don’t want to hear right now, so I focus my attention on Luke. “Can you teach me?”
He’s silent a beat, his ice-blue eyes focused entirely on me before he steps forward and picks up a green ball, handing it to me. “You need to go with a lighter ball.” He points at the number written on it. “That size is perfect for you.”
“Okay.”
He grabs my hand, separating my fingers, first gripping my thumb and then my two middle fingers. “Use these in the holes.” Once I have them inside the holes, he places his large palms on my hips, spinning me around so we’re both facing the lane. His hand covers mine, his front against my back, and every breath we take causes us to touch. “You’re gonna swing your arm back.” He swings it back and then forward. “And then you’re gonna let the ball go with force.�
�� He does it once more before saying, “Next time let it go.”
I nod, the top of my head rubbing against his chest at the movement before he swings both our arms back and then forward.
I let go, putting some force behind it and watching the ball as it flies down the lane and knocks all but two pins down.
“Oh my God!” Spinning around, I fling my arms around Luke’s neck, squeezing as I shout, “I did it!” There’s a beat before his arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me to him, chuckling as I say it over and over again.
He lets me go and I practically skip over to Kim, her hand raised for a high five. “I can bowl!” I tell her, a stupid grin on my face.
“You can,” she replies softly, but her attention isn’t on me, it’s on Luke, and when I turn around, I see him staring at me, his brows pulled down into a frown before he looks down at his hands, shaking his head.
LUKE
Mom displays her winner badge proudly on her chest, her grin so wide I’m sure she’ll break her face any second.
“Told you I’d win,” she says, winking at me as she pulls her boots back on.
“Yeah, yeah.” I don’t tell her I let her win, same with Lily for that matter. What the hell is wrong with me? I never let anyone else win, but for some reason, I didn’t want to see the looks on their faces if they both lost.
Damn. Something is going on inside my brain and I have no control over it.
“Let’s grab dinner here,” Mom says, turning toward Lily. “Is that okay? We should still be back in time.”
“Sure.” Her soft features pull me in and I find myself staring at her for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. She pulls me toward her with an invisible thread, her haunted eyes calling out to me. And even when she looks at me—her blue eyes the same shade as the ocean—I don’t look away. My instincts tell me she’s feeling whatever this is between us too, and when her eyes flash and she looks away, I curse myself. Nothing can happen between us.
I shake my head when I start to wonder when she’ll turn eighteen and walk off, my stride quick and impatient as I barge through the groups of teenagers laughing and being rowdy.
I feel Mom and Lily behind me, but I don’t turn back around, instead I order my food before moving to the side for them and finding a table we can sit at.
My gaze skirts across the seating area as I pull a chair out, assessing who’s around and if there’s any danger. There’s not, we’re at a bowling alley for God’s sake, but it doesn’t stop me from checking. It’s ingrained in me as much as my organs are a part of my body. It’ll never go away, and I don’t want it to either. I want to be on high alert to protect those closest to me.
We eat in relative silence when our food comes. I’m in a world of my own, chowing down my food as fast as I can so I can get out of here and get home sooner. The quicker I’m away from Lily, the better. I can’t keep thinking of her, I can’t keep wondering what she’s doing, what she’d sound like if I pressed my lips against hers. Fuckin’ goddammit, I went there. Shit.
Gripping my head, I throw the few fries back on my plate I had been about to eat, leaning back in my seat and scrubbing my hands over my face. I need out of here… now.
“I’ll just head to the restroom before we go,” Lily’s soft voice announces, and I grunt in response, not willing to look at her.
As soon as she’s out of earshot, Mom leans forward, practically growling, “What is wrong with you?”
“Me?” I point at my chest, raising my brows in question. “What have I done?”
“You’re doing that thing again,” she huffs, shaking her head.
“What thing?”
She points at me, twirling her finger in the air. “That… broody thing.”
Rolling my eyes, I stand up and pull my wallet out of my pocket. “Okay then.” She mumbles something under her breath but I ignore it as I walk away to pay the bill before heading toward the restrooms.
I’m about to push open the door when I hear her voice, but it’s not that that stops me, it’s the stressed tone as she asks someone to move.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, my hands clenching at my sides as I step back and toward the sound of Lily’s voice.
“Please, Jonah. I need to—”
“You don’t need to do anything but be here with me,” a nasally voice replies to her.
“No, stop. I mean it.”
He laughs, the kind of laugh that has my hackles rising more than they already were and I find myself moving at a faster pace, turning the corner and seeing a guy a foot taller than Lily blocking her in a corner.
“Come on, Lil. You know you want to. We wouldn’t want Daddy knowing you were here—”
“You better get your motherfuckin’ hands off her right now,” I thunder, my nostrils flaring as I step even closer.
“Luke,” Lily squeaks, but I can’t tell if she’s glad I’m here or even more terrified.
The guy turns around, his green eyes shining under the lights. “And you are?”
“Your worst fuckin’ nightmare if you don’t get your hands off her. Right. Fuckin’. Now.”
“Jonah, please just—”
His head whips around to face Lily, his voice lowering as he whispers something to her that has her face paling and her panicked eyes finding mine.
Counting to three in my head, I try to calm the raging bull inside of me, but as soon as I see his hand move up her arm, I lose the tether I’m holding onto and go storming ahead, ripping his hand off her and pulling her behind me in one swift motion.
The movement has my t-shirt rising slightly and if his widened eyes are anything to go by, he can see the gun sheathed there. Not that I’d ever use it on this grimy piece of shit, but he doesn’t know that.
I don’t move, standing stock still as he pulls his shoulders back and quirks his lip up into a sneer. “You’ll regret that, Lily.”
“Go near her and I’ll break your fuckin’ hands,” I growl, telling him with my eyes that I mean every word of it.
“Whatever.”
He tries to barge past me, but at the last second he moves, walking down the hallway with a swagger in his step I want to knock right out of him.
“Why did you do that?”
Spinning around, I look at Lily, seeing the fire in her eyes that wasn’t there a few seconds ago.
“Huh?”
“I don’t need you to come and save me, Luke.” She huffs out a breath, shaking her head. “Forget it, I need to get home.”
I open my mouth, about to reply, but she’s already halfway down the hallway before my brain catches up with my body.
What the hell just happened?
Following her, I go over and over it in my mind, wondering what I did wrong. Was I not meant to go and save her? Okay, so save is a little extreme. He was a grimy teenage boy probably wanting to get his hands on her. He wouldn’t have been any real danger, but just seeing his hands on her body had my temper fraying and snapping with force I’ve only ever felt once.
I don’t say anything when I get to the table, instead I walk out, heading to the SUV and jumping inside, my head elsewhere as I start to drive us back to Mom’s house.
Maybe it’s me? Maybe I lose it too quickly? Should I step back and really see what’s going on before barging in there? I don’t want a repeat of that night.
Memories flash in my brain, and when I look down at my hands clutching the steering wheel, all I can see is them covered with blood.
My eyes widen, my breath catching in my throat as I pull up at Mom’s. She says something to me, but I can’t really hear what over the white noise buzzing in my ears. All I know is she leans over, kisses my cheek, and then gets out of the car. But still I can’t move, can’t stop staring, watching as the blood flows through my fingers, dripping onto my jeans and soaking into the fabric.
It was my fault, it’s all my fault.
A hand landing on my arm has my instincts kicking in and I move my arm out, takin
g their wrist and looking up into the face of… Lily.
I let her wrist go so fast. “Shit. Sorry, angel.”
“It’s…” She clears her throat, her gaze batting over my face. “It’s okay. I just wanted to say thank you for tonight.”
Nodding, I turn the engine off, my body working on automatic again as I get out of the car and say, “I’ll walk you across the field.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she rushes out.
I don’t reply as I shut the car door, instead, I start walking, hearing her quick footsteps as she catches up to me, the top of her head coming to my shoulder.
We walk in silence the whole way, only stopping at the edge and out of sight of her house when we come to another little alleyway.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, surprised the word is coming out of my mouth.
“What for?” Her brows furrow as she looks up at me.
“For barging in with that guy. I should have—”
“I don’t need saving, Luke.” She stares up at me, her blue eyes telling me something different. I want to tell her I see the front she’s putting on, but I can’t find the words. She’s trying to be strong, and I won’t be the one to knock her down.
“I know.” I step closer. “But if you ever do then you call me.”
“A regular superhero, huh?”
I chuckle. “Something like that. Eli says I’m Thor.”
“Eli?”
A smile works its way on my face as I think of the little guy who barged into our lives. “My boss, Ty, his stepson. We have this thing with superheroes.”
“I love it when you smile.” My attention whips back to Lily, seeing the open look on her face and watching it shutter as I stare at her. “Sorry.” She shakes her head, turning around. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’ll—”
Taking a giant step toward her, I wrap my hand around her wrist, pulling her back toward me. Her body comes flush with mine before I cup the side of her neck and brush my thumb back and forth on her cheek.
I tilt her head back and stare down at her.
I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t want to do this, but I can’t stop myself… I don’t want to stop myself.
Catching Teardrops Page 9