by Janice Lynn
His heart beating faster and faster, his insides shaking, his knees threatening to buckle, he sank down to the floor next to her, placed his hand on her thigh. “Ellie, have you had a menstrual cycle since the night we first made love?”
Her lips didn’t move, but they didn’t have to. The widening of her eyes and blanching of her skin answered for her.
She hadn’t.
Dear Lord, Ellie might be pregnant with his baby.
Eleanor shook. Her entire body shook.
Pregnant.
Was that even a possibility?
Well, of course it was a possibility. She and Ty had had sex. About a month ago.
She had missed her menstrual cycle.
She’d been so lost in thoughts about the night she’d spent with Ty, about this upcoming trip, that she’d never even noticed that she’d skipped a period. Could she be any more naive?
“I’m probably only late due to stress.” Surely that was the only reason she hadn’t gotten her period.
“Are you usually regular?” He sounded so calm, so logical. If not for the tremble of his hand where he touched her thigh, she might think him completely unaffected.
She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes. Usually I’m like clockwork.”
“Have your breasts been more sensitive?”
She so did not want to be having this conversation.
Not while crouched on the bathroom floor. Naked. With Ty. Naked. With her having just thrown up.
Under the best of circumstances she didn’t want to be having this conversation, but definitely she didn’t under the current ones.
A new wave of mortification hit her and she wrapped her arms around her body, trying to cover herself, wishing she could just crawl back into the fantastic dream she’d been having prior to waking and making her mad dash to the bathroom.
“Ellie,” Ty whispered, wrapping his arms fully around her and holding her tightly to him. “Oh, Ellie, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“I … I don’t know. It—it never occurred to me that I might be.” She kept her eyes tightly squeezed shut, hating that hot tears stung her eyelids, hating that she’d stuttered. “It’s possible.” She sucked in a breath, praying she didn’t hiccup or sob. “I’m sorry, Ty.”
She felt his fingers clasp her chin, felt him lifting her face, but she didn’t open her eyes, couldn’t bear to see what was in his eyes.
“Look at me.”
lShe prised her eyelids apart, not surprised that the moment she did so the waterworks started down her cheeks.
“Don’t cry, darlin’.” He wiped at her tears. His hands were soft, gentle, attempting to comfort, but just the thought of what might be had her insides crumbling.
“If you are pregnant, you didn’t get that way alone,” he continued. “I’m as much to blame as anyone. More so.”
To blame. Because this wasn’t something good. Wasn’t something planned for. She might be having a baby and rather than it being a joyous discovery, she sat naked on a bathroom floor, being coddled by a man who couldn’t possibly want to be here but was. He was being sweet and wonderful rather than angry.
Which made her feel all the more guilty that she hadn’t been suave and sophisticated like the women he was used to, like no doubt her own sister was.
“We weren’t exactly thinking straight that night,” she whispered, offering him an out.
“All I was thinking that night was that I wanted you, Ellie, but that doesn’t excuse me making love to you without a condom. All I can say is that I’ve never done that before. I’ve never wanted someone so much that I lost control that way.”
She bet he didn’t want her now. Not after seeing her like this. She probably repulsed him.
But rather than pull away, he just held her to him for long moments, kissing the top of her head and gently rocking her in his arms while she cried.
Which probably only added to how bad she looked.
When he stood, he got another damp washcloth, knelt and gently cleaned away her tears. “You feel like standing up?”
She took a deep breath and nodded, although really she wasn’t sure of anything. Her legs felt weak and her head spun, but they couldn’t stay like this forever.
He took her hand and helped her to her feet. “Let’s get a shower, get dressed, then we’ll go into town and buy a pregnancy test. No use worrying about this until we know exactly what we’re worrying about. Maybe it really is just your nerves.”
He didn’t sound hopeful, but perhaps …
Really, if it was just her nerves, that would be best all the way around. Yet the idea that Ty’s baby might be growing inside her … She placed her hand on her belly. Was there a baby there? Her and Ty’s baby?
Why did she hope not?
But, even more confusing, why did the thought not seem so horrible either?
When he’d suggested taking a shower, she’d thought he’d meant alone. Honestly, she wanted to be alone, to have a few minutes to herself to think, digest the morning’s events. But he must have been afraid to leave her, because he turned the walk-in shower on, tested the temperature then pulled her in with him.
He didn’t say a word, just washed her hair, her body, rinsed her clean, then did the same for himself while she watched.
When he was done, he wrapped her in a large bath sheet and they silently dressed.
She wished she knew what he was thinking. Considering what might be happening inside her body, he’d been wonderful, sweet, very understanding.
But he couldn’t be happy about the possibility of her being pregnant with his child. Of all the women he’d ever been with, he’d surely have chosen someone different to have conceived his child.
What about her? How did she feel about all the things bouncing around in her head?
What if before the end of the year she was going to give birth to Ty Donaldson’s baby?
“You’ve barely said two words since we left the house,” Ty pointed out as he maneuvered Ole Bess into downtown Swallow Creek.
Ellie sat with her hands folded in her lap, staring out the passenger window at the various businesses they drove past. “At this point, I’m not sure what to say.”
She’d been quiet all morning. Somehow she’d made it through breakfast with his family, although she’d barely eaten a thing until his mother had yet again offered to have something different prepared. Red-faced, Ellie had forced down some eggs and a biscuit, but he’d seen the effort she’d put into doing so, had held her hair away from her face as she’d paid for those efforts in the lavatory not twenty minutes later.
Had he done that to her?
“If you are pregnant, we’ll figure something out, Ellie.” Guilt rode him hard. “You have to know I won’t leave you to deal with this on your own.”
“I won’t have an abortion.” For the first time that day her voice had strength and she met him square in the eyes. “I won’t do that.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to.” Ty winced. Had she thought he would when they worked day and night to save babies?
“I’m sorry.” She turned away from him, stared out the window, her hands clenching and unclenching in her lap. “I didn’t mean to imply that you would. I was just stating a fact.”
“I understand.”
He did. If she was pregnant, her entire life would change. His, too, but Ellie’s in a more immediate way as her body grew with their baby.
Their baby. In his mind, she was already pregnant.
Ellie was pregnant.
In his heart, he knew she was. He’d been around animals his entire life, had dealt with nature on the ranch. He should have recognized the possibility of her being pregnant when they’d been on the plane and she’d been sick.
Then again, she’d written off her illness as a nervous stomach so perhaps he could be forgiven.
“Do you even want kids, Ty?”
Her voice was tiny, vulnerable, so full of need that he pulled into the parking lot of a general mart a
nd killed the truck engine, rather than driving to the other side of town to the chain pharmacy where they might have a little anonymity. They probably wouldn’t have, but it had been a thought.
He undid his seat belt and turned to her. “I can’t say that I’ve given much thought to the idea of having kids, Ellie. Maybe I thought I would someday, but up to this point in my life, taking care of the babies at Angel’s has been enough.”
She nodded as if she understood. Perhaps she did. Perhaps she felt the same.
“But if you are pregnant with my child, I will want our baby and I will do right by you and our child. Don’t doubt that.”
“With your …” Her startled gaze met his, wide-eyed and full of shock. “There’s no possibility of my being pregnant by anyone other than you.”
“Not what I meant.” He raked his fingers through his hair, wondering if he was destined to repeatedly say the wrong thing today. “Let’s go buy the test. See if there’s a reason for us to discuss this further and we’ll go from there, okay?”
Her cheeks pink, she nodded.
Of all the stores in Swallow Creek, he would have to choose the one where Nita just happened to be.
“Ty? Ellie?” she exclaimed when she spotted them in the checkout line. “I didn’t know y’all were headed to town.”
Ty considered putting the box behind his back, but figured that would only draw Nita’s attention to what he held. Not that he needed to worry. She noticed anyway.
Her eyes growing huge, Nita’s jaw dropped, her hands clasped together.
“Are you pregnant?” she gasped, much louder than Ty would have liked. Surely everyone in the general mart was now staring, waiting for Ellie to answer.
Ellie’s cheeks glowed a bright pink and she didn’t seem capable of answering. Perhaps she wasn’t.
“Mind your own business, Nita. Besides, if we knew the answer to that question, we wouldn’t have need for this, now, would we?” He motioned to the rectangular box he held.
Looking way too excited, Nita said, “Your mother said Ellie was pregnant, but I didn’t—”
“Mom said what?” he gasped. If Ellie was pregnant, they needed time to digest the news, time to figure out what they wanted, time without his family butting in. His mother knew?
A sinking feeling gripped his gut. If his mother knew, his father would soon know.
Nita smiled, knowing she’d snagged his attention. “Yesterday, after the two of you went upstairs after lunch, she said that Ellie was pregnant, but the rest of us thought she was just doing some wishful thinking out loud.”
His entire family had been debating the possibility of Ellie being pregnant before either of them had suspected a thing?
“Wishful thinking?” he muttered, still trying to wrap his mind around how his mother was so observant she’d figured out quickly what he’d missed. He was a doctor. Then again, she’d lived on a farm or ranch her entire life and was on a first-name basis with Mother Nature. He was pretty sure they sat down for tea on a regular basis.
“You know how she wants more grandkids to spoil rotten,” Nita reminded him, beaming at Ellie.
“So you and Harry give her a few more.”
“Ty?” Ellie’s voice sounded panicky. She reached out, clutched his upper arm as if for support.
His gaze immediately went to her pale face.
“I think I’m going to pass out.”
Then she did.
He caught her just before she hit the floor.
Two blue lines. Pregnant.
Eleanor was grateful she was sitting on the shiny oak floor of Ty’s bathroom, that she was leaning up against the wall, that Ty sat beside her, holding the test so they could look at the results together.
His hand shook as he held it out for them both to read.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and looked at the results again.
There were still two blue lines.
Positive.
Eleanor Aston, the other Aston daughter, the quiet, shy Aston, pregnant out of wedlock.
The media would have a field day.
Her father would have a fit.
Recalling how he’d arranged her date with Ty, perhaps he wouldn’t have a fit. Perhaps he’d find an angle, hand out cigars and ask for votes in his upcoming election. Or he’d take out his proverbial shotgun and demand Ty make an honest woman of her, probably just so he could marry her off to a well-to-do Texan while he had an excuse to push the issue.
Her mother would be mortified and remind her not to eat too much because losing baby fat wasn’t going to be an easy feat.
Brooke would … What would her sister say? Probably high-five her on getting “knocked up by such a scrumptious man.” But that was Brooke. Always thinking in the short term, never the long term.
Then again, maybe she was more like her sister than she’d thought. Because she certainly hadn’t been thinking the long term on the night she’d gone to Ty’s apartment.
Everything had been about short-term pleasure.
Now there were long-term consequences.
She was having his baby.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, for lack of knowing what else to say as she stared at the test he held in trembling fingers.
“Quit saying that you’re sorry, Ellie.” He almost sounded angry that she’d done so again. “I don’t want you to be sorry.”
She winced. Poor Ty. She’d gone out like a light in the general mart and he’d carried her back to the truck while Nita had paid for the pregnancy test. How many times had she apologized for that one? At least a few dozen on the ride back to the ranch. No doubt his entire family knew what had happened by now. Probably the entire town knew. Ty’s hometown, and she’d embarrassed him. She was pregnant with his baby. Her face flamed.
“But it’s true.” She wished she could convey to him how humiliated she felt that she’d passed out, how sorry she was that she wasn’t sophisticated enough to have prevented pregnancy. After all, she knew better, but on the night they’d made love she just hadn’t been thinking. She’d like to blame the champagne, but she wasn’t sure how much had been alcohol and how much had been pure Ty. “I didn’t mean to get pregnant.”
He set the test down on the floor beside him. “I know that, but we’re talking about a human life that we’ve created.” His expression gentled. “Don’t be sorry for a new life. Don’t ever be sorry for that.”
“But it wasn’t intentional.” She needed to be sure he understood that.
“Most babies aren’t intentionally created. You know that. That doesn’t make those babies any less special, any less lovable. We made a baby, Ellie. A new life isn’t a bad thing.”
She stared at him, wondering if she was dreaming. If, when she’d passed out, she’d hit her head and was now living in some fantasy world. “You’re taking this too well.”
He leaned his head back against his bathroom wall, took a deep breath and gave a slight shrug. “Honestly, I’m not sure how I’m taking anything, Ellie. I’m blown away.”
That she understood.
“We’re having a baby.”
Not that she was having a baby, but “we’re.” He’d said “we’re.”
She closed her eyes. “What are you going to tell your family?”
Head down, he snorted. “Nita will already have told Harry and my mother that she saw us at the store. Plus, my mother already knew. Hell, you heard Nita. The entire family was debating if you were or not.”
She dropped her head forward, resting her forehead against her knees.
“I didn’t know.” How could she have been so oblivious? Then again, why should she have suspected? Pregnancy wasn’t something she’d given any thought to. “I honestly hadn’t considered the possibility of being pregnant until you asked about my cycle. I feel stupid that I hadn’t, but I just never … well, you know.”
He laced his fingers with hers, held her hand tightly within his, rubbing his thumb gently over her skin. “I know. Shoc
k was written all over your face.”
“Better you were looking at my face than the rest of me this morning,” she mumbled, recalling how horrid she must have looked on the bathroom floor.
Odd that they were back there now. At least now they were fully dressed and she hadn’t just thrown up the contents of her stomach.
Although certainly the news that she was pregnant was enough to have her stomach pitching and rolling.
Ty squeezed her hand. “I happen to like looking at the rest of you, darlin’. I like it a lot. Perhaps you noticed.
I did a lot of looking yesterday afternoon and during the night.”
He sounded so sure, so sincere, yet he couldn’t be, could he? Yet he had acted as if he enjoyed her body. Maybe he was just one of those men who loved women, period, and it didn’t matter how curvy they were.
“I’m going to gain a lot of weight.” Just the mental image of what she’d look like in a few months made her want to cringe. “I won’t be one of those cute pregnant women who maintain their body with a basketball for a belly. I’ll just look like the basketball. A big, giant basketball.”
His gaze narrowed and he forced her to look at him. “Your body is going to change into the body of a pregnant woman who is carrying my child. Mine. There’s nothing more beautiful, Ellie.”
Her insides quivered, and she found herself wanting to lean on him, put her head on his shoulder and put her trust in him. “I want to believe you, but …”
“But?”
“I know I’m not exactly the stuff of legends right now. How are you going to want me when I’m larger?” The tears had started flowing. Lots and lots of tears. Must be another side effect of pregnancy because she rarely cried, yet couldn’t seem to stop today.
“Of course,” she blabbered on. “That’s making wild assumptions, isn’t it? You might not even want me anymore now. I mean, after seeing me this morning and now.” She hiccuped, wiped at her eyes with her free hand, thinking she probably looked pathetic with her red, wet eyes and runny nose from crying. “I really should just shut up, shouldn’t I?”
Ty stared at her, shaking his head as he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. “Ellie, and I do mean Ellie because you do steal my breath, there is no one I want more than you. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”