“What do you want me to do?” she asked him.
Now Kyle’s gaze swiveled, meeting his. It took him a long time to respond. “I want you to be happy,” Kyle said. “Just like Tris said. However we have to make that happen.”
* * * *
Yes, if giving up the ability to legally marry Tris meant removing her objections to keeping their baby…fuck yeah.
It didn’t matter to him whose name was on the birth certificate. It didn’t matter to him if they were married to each other and he…wasn’t.
All that mattered to him was the tiny, weak hope that this could end happily for the three of them, together, without any of them hurting on the back side of it.
“No,” she said. “You tell me. Tell me what you want.”
Tristan’s brown gaze bored into him from her other side. He’d given ground to Kyle. A lot of ground.
Because Tris loved him.
Since being an adult sucked and hurt and sometimes ripped the heart right out of you, so would he.
Kyle refocused on her. “No, sweetheart. I’m not going to do that. We want this to be your decision. There is no…no wrong decision. It’s your body, and your life, and he and I already fucked this all up. I never wanted you put into this position, of making this choice. If you don’t keep it, I’m still here. Both of us are. If you keep it, we’re both still here. You tell us what you want. In a perfect world, if there were no excuses, what do you want?”
He hated that they’d put her into this position, caused her this much agony.
He loved her.
He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and with Tris.
Tears filled her eyes. “I want to be with you guys.”
“That’s guaranteed on our end, no matter what.”
Her voice grew even softer. “I want to be collared to both of you. I want to be your slave.”
At least one tiny thing to coax a smile out of him. “We can do that, too.”
“I want you to tell me what you want, Sir.”
His smile faded. Tris might hate him for this later, but it had to be like this. “You really want to be collared to both of us as our slave?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He sensed Tris shifting position, about to move, to protest, but Kyle held up a hand to silence him. Hopefully, Tris trusted him.
Kyle snapped his fingers and pointed at the floor in front of him.
She slid off the bed onto her knees and stared up at him.
Tristan spoke up. “Ky—”
He held up his hand again and kept it there to silence him. Still, Kyle kept his gaze on her. With his other hand, he reached down and fished the necklace out from under her shirt, her tag warm in his fingers. He closed his fist around it, taking up the slack in the chain until his knuckles touched the flesh of her throat.
“You don’t have to be our slave to be with us, baby,” he said.
“I want to be your slave.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you. You wouldn’t have come out here if you didn’t love me.”
He finally dropped his other hand, to the back of her head, gently fisting her hair and tipping her head back. “We’re going to have rules, baby.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You’re going to move in with us when you get home. In fact we’ll start doing it while you’re still out here. We’ll get your key from you.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You might not like all our rules. If you’re our slave and not just our submissive, beyond your hard limits, you don’t get a choice unless we give you one.”
“I know, Sir.”
He knew damn well what she was doing, but he wouldn’t give it to her.
And it would possibly piss Tristan off when he realized why Kyle was approaching it like this.
He was willing to risk it.
“Okay, then. From this point on, we officially collar you as our slave. You’ll change your Fet profile and everything. So will we. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“There’s just one last thing before we make this official.”
“Sir?” God, hearing her call him that, even in this situation, made his cock twitch like crazy, wanting to bury himself deep inside her.
He steeled himself, hardening his heart and hoping he’d made the right decision to handle it like this. “We need a yes or no answer out of you—do you want to keep this baby?”
Her eyes widened. “But…that’s your decision now, Sir. I want you and—”
“No. Stop speaking. Do not speak again until I give you permission.”
It made Kyle more than a little sick at heart to know that was probably the main reason she’d asked this of them, to take the choice from her.
He would give her anything within his power to provide. He’d give her his heart, his love, his body, his money and time and every last possession he had. He’d give her any- and everything…except that.
“This is your first task as our slave,” he continued. “There is no wrong answer, there’s just an answer, and that’s your answer. I’m going to ask you again, and I’m only going to ask it this one time as your Master. When I ask, if you do not answer me, immediately, with the answer that is in your heart, we’re going to withdraw our collar until you can truly submit to us and follow our orders.
“It does not matter which answer you give me, sweetheart. Seriously, it doesn’t. Nothing else matters but your answer—not the logistics, not the expenses—nothing. You will let us handle the future, regardless of how you answer, and you will trust us to take care of you and whatever happens based on how you answer. Because we are ready to handle it, either way. If you can’t do that, answer a question and trust us to take care of you, then you aren’t ready to be our slave.”
She trembled, he could feel it, see it, and it threatened to shatter his resolve.
But she was a strong woman. She would bend without breaking—they all would.
She just wanted to be pushed to let go, and he knew it. Just like she wanted to be pushed in a scene.
She needed permission to be her, to be herself.
To truly be free to choose.
He waited until she stopped glancing over at Tris, who sat there, silent, his expression schooled into an unreadable mask.
He tightened his grip in her hair and pulled her forward a little, forcing her to lean closer.
“Nod if you understand me. Shake your head if you want me to explain again.”
He felt her throat work beneath the fingers holding her necklace, but she nodded as much as his grip would allow.
“I will repeat myself—the only thing that matters in this moment is you trusting us. That means you believe me when I tell you we will take care of you, no matter your answer. I want you to be totally selfish. I want you to pretend that the only thing that matters is you and what you want. Because as far as Tris and I are concerned, that is the only thing that matters. We are strong enough to love and support you either way, so remove our feelings and opinions from the equation. Understand? Nod or shake your head.”
She nodded.
“I mean it—you will still be our submissive and our girlfriend if you can’t answer me right now. But if you really want to be our slave, you have to be able to trust us in all ways, and follow our orders in all ways, and that starts with the basics. You ready? Nod if you understand, or shake your head if you want to stop and discuss this as equals.”
His heart skipped when she nodded.
He kept his gaze on her but tipped his head to the side and motioned with it, knowing Tris was watching, wanting him sitting right next to him.
Fortunately, Tris was paying attention. He eased over until their thighs touched.
Tristan slipped one arm around Kyle’s waist and squeezed.
With his other, Tristan reached down and closed his hand around the one holding her necklace, their fingers lacing together.
They were in this together, all three of them.<
br />
“Nod or shake your head, baby—are you ready to answer our question?”
She nodded.
Kyle took a deep breath. “Again, we want the honest answer that’s in your heart, and you will answer me immediately.” He paused, waiting, knowing Tris was right, that it had to be her choice.
She’d just needed to be pushed to understand it was only her choice to make.
Yes, he’d love her either way, even if it gutted him. Sometimes being an adult sucked, claiming to be a Master even more so.
He deliberately chose to keep his voice soft, forcing her to listen, channeling Tris. “Yes or no—do you want to keep this baby?”
“Yes, Master.” She burst into tears. “I want to keep it.”
Despite the pain in his knee, he slid off the bed to the floor so he could wrap his arms around her. Tris moved with him, curling around her back, his arms around both of them.
Kyle was crying, too, and he wouldn’t hold it against her that she’d said more than one word.
Wouldn’t have held it against her if her answer had been no, either.
“You’re going to marry Tris as soon as we can get you guys hitched,” Kyle said. “You need to be added to his insurance ASAP so we can get you to the doctor.”
“Yes, Master.”
Tris gently rocked both of them. “That’s our good girl,” Tris said. Kyle felt his fingers slide up, cupping the back of his head, holding him, too. “We’re in this together, baby. All three of us.”
It took her a few minutes to pull herself together. Then she excused herself to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Kyle’s attention was on her, still looking at the closed bathroom door, when Tristan punched him hard in his left shoulder.
“Ow!” He rubbed at it. “What the fuck?”
Tris grabbed him and pulled him in, kissing him, teeth scraping and tongue flicking everywhere at once. When he broke their kiss, he stared at him for a long moment with dark currents churning in his brown gaze.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, but why’d you punch me, asshole?”
“We should have talked that over first.”
“Yeah? Well, you were right. It had to be her decision.”
“You didn’t know she’d say yes.”
“Honestly? I thought she’d say no.”
Tris cupped Kyle’s face in his hands. “How can I show you how much I love you right now? I wanted to marry you.”
“Both of you change your last name to mine. It’ll be easier for you to do it when you get married.”
Tris smiled. “Tristan Lind, huh?”
“Or Tristan Chapman-Lind. I’m fine with that.”
“Nah. If I’m taking my guy’s last name, I’m taking it.” His smile faded. “I like your parents better anyway. Maybe they’ll adopt me and Jess.”
“You know they will.” Kyle hugged him. “Especially since we’re giving them a grandbaby.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jess reveled in the panic and fear and longing, the freeing feeling of suddenly giving in, giving over.
Being honest and letting go.
She knew two things with certainty—she wanted to spend the rest of her life with these two men, and she trusted them with her life.
No, three. Three things.
The look on Kel’s face as he talked about Mal. The pain in her old friend’s eyes as he talked about what might have been.
She knew if she spent the rest of her life with these two men and chose not to have this baby, there would always be a part of her soul which would regret it and wonder what if? and forever mark in an indelible way a point in time where she hadn’t trusted them.
Would make her recall her mother’s words to her and feel less-than for having chosen that path, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it.
Would always make her look at other babies and wonder if they would have had Kyle’s gorgeous blue eyes, or her red hair, or Tristan’s sweet smile.
These three points formed an interlocking life raft, each depending upon the other. No way in hell would she want to keep a baby if she couldn’t see herself growing old with Kyle and Tris.
No way in hell would she keep their baby if she didn’t trust them.
No way in hell would she keep their baby if she wasn’t with them.
Her men were right. Choosing to not get pregnant, and choosing to end a pregnancy, were two different things.
But…
She did trust them. Being forced to choose forced her to strip away everything else and admit it. And she was with them—they were with her. Hell, they’d flown here. Without even knowing if she’d talk to them.
Brad couldn’t be bothered to so much as go to the store for her when she was sick.
The trust these two men had in her, to hand over their futures to her, their unconditional love knowing her decision could go either way, took her breath away.
It didn’t hurt that peace now filled her. Could it be possible they’d still betray her down the road?
Maybe.
But she was done trying to live her life in fear, done listening to her mom’s voice in her head about what a failure she was professionally and as a daughter, and done reliving her father’s words to her, his “helpful” advice.
Done.
Today, she closed a door on all that. Today, she made the active choice to step forward, into the waiting arms of her men.
Hers.
She finished in the bathroom and returned to find the men sitting on the bed instead of on the floor.
“Come here, baby,” Tris said, holding a hand out to her.
Helpless, she went.
She couldn’t resist them—didn’t want to. With them, the world righted itself and her mind cleared, her soul calmed.
She climbed onto the bed with them and they curled around her, holding her.
Safety surrounded her.
Love.
Peace.
“I’m so scared.”
She’d ended up facing Kyle. Tristan nuzzled the nape of her neck.
“So are we, baby,” Kyle said. “We’ll be scared together. That’s the point. But you let us handle the fear. You don’t have to be scared to be alone, because you won’t be.”
Kyle’s blue eyes, so deep, so expressive. She lost herself in them.
“How far along do you think you are?” he asked.
“I don’t know. My periods have been irregular since before I left Houston. For years. Can’t be more than, what, seven or eight weeks? However long we’ve been sleeping together.”
“We’ll need your key and alarm code before we leave.”
“When are you leaving?” she asked.
“I don’t know. We both have to work Monday. Probably Sunday sometime. We’ll find out from Mark.”
Hell, they were there, she was…
I’m going to have a baby with them.
Her fingers laced with Tristan’s and she pushed his hand down, between her legs, and squeezed.
He took the hint and started massaging her through her jeans. She immediately felt his cock harden, pressing against her ass through their clothes.
Kyle smiled and rolled onto his back. “Help get me naked, baby, then climb on. Let me eat that sweet pussy while he fucks you.”
She didn’t need to be asked twice. Minutes later, they were angled across the bed, with her sucking on Kyle’s cock while Tristan slid his bare cock inside her cunt.
Her eyes fluttered closed as Kyle’s tongue played with her clit and traced the opening of her pussy, where Tristan’s cock slowly fucked her.
In her mouth, Kyle’s cock twitched with every suck and lick, already leaking pre-cum for her.
Tristan stroked her back, able to talk without his mouth full. “Ohhh, fuck, man. That feels so fucking good. “ She loved watching them together, had one night spent thirty minutes tied up with a vibrator pressed against her clit while she watched the two of them sixty-nine in a playful torture. The
y’d been trying to get each other off first, the one left standing, so to speak, with the winner’s rights to fuck her pussy.
Tristan had won that one.
Making love with them was always fun, easy, sexy and sweet, hotter than hell and like heaven on earth.
“That’s it, baby. Let him suck your clit and get you off for us.” He pressed down on her hips to get her closer to his mouth. Kyle’s lips wrapped around her clit and he lightly sucked, setting off an explosion in her pussy and making her moan around Kyle’s cock.
“Oh, baby, I felt that one.” Tristan squeezed her ass, nails lightly raking up her body. “Dammit, you’re so fucking beautiful. Perfectly gorgeous, and I’ll deck anyone who makes you feel otherwise.”
Kyle reached down and found her nipples, started rolling and pinching them, making her squeal before another orgasm slammed into her and turned her muffled squeals into long, needy moans.
“Yeah, he’s taking good care of our girl, isn’t he? Get busy and suck a load from his balls, baby. You know you want it. Put one in each end for you, his and mine.”
It was hard to focus with her limbs now feeling like jelly, but she tried. Even when Kyle started flicking her clit with his tongue and went for orgasm number three.
Tristan slowly started fucking her again. “Be glad when his knee’s feeling better so I can fuck you and he can fuck me at the same time. Or you can spit-roast me between you, he can fuck me while I’m eating that sweet pussy out.”
If Kyle could nearly make her come with a sexy look, Tristan could practically explode her panties with his dirty talk. Every damn time.
She let out another moan as Kyle’s tongue once again traced the sensitive flesh around her pussy where their bodies were now joined.
“Come on, baby,” he gasped. “Make your Master come.” He slapped her ass with both hands, driving her into another orgasm. She wasn’t a massive masochist, but the men had discovered a light level of impact play, combined with orgasms, nearly drove her out of her mind in a good way.
Including right now. The orgasm spiraled through her, making her try to rock on top of Kyle, but Tris slapped her ass again and held her hips still with his cock deep inside her. “No, baby. No more joy for you until you’ve been a good girl and swallowed his load. Come on. Behave for me.”
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