He grimaced.
"I thought it was right up your alley," Gloria said. "Good for cocktail chatter. Speaking of that, I would invite you for a drink tonight, but I'm swamped with work. Glad you like the book. Bye."
After she hung up, he stared at the phone for a minute. "Something's wrong. She didn't push for a date."
"She's going for mysterious and unavailable, to see how that works."
"Oh." He replaced the receiver on the phone. "Well, it won't. Now where were we?"
"I think we were at the part where I leave and go back to Gloria's office, a sadder but wiser woman."
"Please don't go yet. You were telling me about some guy who turned into a roadblock. Whatever happened to him?" After that kiss, Will was in deep enough that he needed to know if some ex was lurking around.
"He told me I was stupid to worry so much about grades. When I wouldn't abandon my studies for him, he took off. I have no idea where he is."
"I don't mean to malign your ex, but.. . Cancel that, I do mean to malign him. He sounds like an idiot."
She shook her head. "I was the idiot, thinking I could maintain a love affair, a job, and my studies all at the same time. Something had to give."
"Not if he'd had a better sense of time management."
That made her smile. 'There was no time to manage. If I want to follow my dream, I need to make the tough choices."
She gazed at him. "Thanks for the kiss." Then she started out of the cubicle. "It was lots of fun." "Wait."
She glanced over her shoulder. "You don't understand. I really can't take a chance that I'll sabotage myself."
"What if I commit to making sure that doesn't happen?"
"You can. Keep your distance."
"Ouch."
"I don't mean that to be as negative as it sounded." She paused. "The problem is that I like you too much."
"Damn it, that shouldn't be a problem."
"At this point in my life, it's a big problem. See you later, Will."
He searched for something, anything to make her stay a little longer. "Have you found any more valentines in your desk drawer?"
She paused again, but this time she didn't look at him. "No."
Good thing he'd put his glasses on, because otherwise he might have missed her slight shiver and the way her body went rigid afterward, as if she were bracing herself against another involuntary, telltale movement.
"You must be relieved," he said. She didn't look at all relieved.
She glanced at him. "I am."
Something else was going on. That heated look she'd given him in the outer office had created a bond between them. Sharing an enthusiastic kiss had strengthened the bond, and now his radar was locked in and picking up every nuance. "What's happened, Amanda?"
Fear flashed in her eyes and she hesitated.
"Tell me, please." His gut tightened. He couldn't let her handle this by herself.
She swallowed. "It's probably nothing, but it freaked me out. When I came home last night, there was a message on my answering machine."
He took a breath and tried to stay calm. Getting agitated wouldn't help her. "So he knows your phone number. That's not good, but if you've saved it, we could try and identify the voice."
"There was no voice, only a song, 'Hungry Like the Wolf.'"
All the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "That's creepy."
"I know." She held his gaze. "I live in a first-floor apartment, and I didn't sleep very well after that."
He blew out a breath. "I wouldn't imagine you did. Knowing the phone number is one step from knowing where you live." Although he was dying to ride to the rescue, he held himself in check. "What are you going to do?"
"Well, this morning I'd planned to ask if your boyfriend offer was still open ..."
Yes.
"But obviously we can't consider the idea, now." "Why not?"
She stared at him as if he weren't right in the head.
He shrugged. "Okay, so we kissed."
"Twice."
"That first one barely counts as a whole kiss." "And this one?"
"No big deal." It was a huge deal, but he was ready to minimize it if necessary. She needed someone to hang around and keep her safe, and he was the man for the job.
"No big deal?" She looked crushed.
"Bad choice of words. I meant that we could get beyond our one-point-five kisses if that's what it takes for you to feel comfortable with me. You need me around, Amanda."
She smiled gently. "That's what. I'm afraid of."
"I didn't mean it like that. You need a guy to make it look as if you're spoken for. I'm the logical choice."
"Maybe so, but after this morning, I don't think we can pull off a pretend relationship."
"And I say we can. This weirdo seems to be focused on Valentine's Day, so once that's over, he might fade into the woodwork or crawl back under a rock. Then we can end the charade, and each go back to our regularly scheduled programs."
She still seemed skeptical. "I'm not saying that we could pull it off, but just supposing we tried it. How would we handle Gloria?"
He'd thought about that last night before he'd proposed the idea to her. "You tell her about the stalker and explain that you need me to step in for a few days. She's so convinced of her own sexual attractiveness that I'll bet she won't see you as a threat."
"That might be true. She thinks I'm pretty dorky."
He laughed. "Gloria's perceptions of reality are so skewed that I wonder how she functions."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
It was more than a vote. It was a freaking landslide. But he had to play this close to the vest.
Amanda studied him. "How do you see this working, you being my boyfriend?"
"For one thing, I'd drop by the office from time to time, in case the guy is one of Gloria's clients. And I'd hang out at Geekland, where we could advertise our status to all your regular customers."
"That sounds logical. Anything else?"
He paused. He doubted that she'd go for his other thought, but he'd suggest it, anyway. "Considering that first-floor apartment of yours, I should probably move in." He waited for her to blow a gasket.
She took a shaky breath. "I think so, too."
You could have knocked him over with a paper clip.
All morning Amanda had blocked the terror that she'd felt while lying in her apartment last night, wide awake and listening for every scrape and rustle outside her windows. In the light of day, she'd felt silly being so afraid of a dumb song on her answering machine. But when Will had asked about any new valentine deliveries, all the fear had come rushing back.
Yes, she could install an alarm system, but an alarm system was a cold piece of technology. She needed to hear another human voice, preferably the voice of a man with broad shoulders and more upper body strength than she had, in case someone needed to wield the vacuum cleaner wand or the collected works of Sigmund Freud.
"I didn't think you'd agree with me," Will said. "I didn't know I was going to, either. But the truth is, I'm afraid to stay alone, and Mavis Endicott sleeping on the couch isn't going to make me feel any safer." She felt a stab of guilt. He was at least six inches longer than her couch. "That's all I have to offer you, unfortunately. Or maybe I should take the couch, and you can have my—"
"No way. The couch will work fine. We're only talking about a few nights. I'll head back to my apartment during lunch and pack a few things so I can go home with you tonight."
"Maybe we shouldn't tell Gloria about this part."
"We don't have to tell anyone about this part. Well, that's not quite true. I should tell Justin."
"I would expect that. And I'll need to tell Mavis and Chester."
He nodded. "Right. But don't worry, Amanda. I won't take advantage of the situation."
"I believe you." She thought he might have greater control over his emotions than she did. Maybe his dedication to the cause would inspire her to squelch her lu
sty urges.
"It'll be fine. I'll bet having me on the scene will discourage this guy really fast. He might give up before Valentine's Day."
She hoped so. Will looked better and better with every passing moment, and she didn't know how well she'd be able to resist the temptation of having him in residence. "Bring pajamas, okay?"
He looked startled. "Uh ... okay."
"You don't own any, do you?"
"I'll get some on my way back from lunch."
She was glad she'd mentioned it. She couldn't have a naked Will sleeping on her couch. A pajama-clad Will would be difficult enough to ignore. "Oh, and another thing. I don't have much to eat in the house. If you're used to breakfast, you're out of luck."
"I usually grab an energy bar."
"I'm relieved to hear it. Some guys think the ability to fix breakfast is a gender-based skill."
"I won't expect you to wait on me, Amanda."
"Well, I can brew coffee." Waiting on him didn't sound like such a chore, the more she thought about it. "I'm pretty sure Mavis has instant pancake mix, and she'd loan me butter and syrup, if you'd like to have—"
"Not necessary." He stepped closer. "You don't have to do anything to please me, or make me feel more at home. Just go about your regular routine, and I'll fit myself into that."
There shouldn't have been anything sexual about that statement. The fact that she took it that way didn't bode well for this sleepover routine they were contemplating. What had she let herself in for?
"Look, I can see this plan makes you uneasy, but I promise to be as unobtrusive as possible. You'll hardly know I'm there."
She didn't believe that for a minute. But it would only be for a few days, as he'd said. The days weren't the problem, though. The nights were her chief concern. She took a steadying breath. "Well, I'd better get back."
"So you'll tell Gloria ASAP? I should start this hanging-around stuff soon, so anyone who knows you gets the idea."
"I'll tell her."
Will smiled. "You look as if you're going to the gallows. Hold on a sec." He walked over to his desk and consulted his day planner. "I have some free time. I'll go with you. We'll face her together."
"I'd appreciate that. I have my doubts that she'll love this plan."
"Then we need to soften her up." Will picked up the Titillating Trivia book and flipped it open. "I'll take this with me and let her know how much I like it."
"You can do that with a straight face?"
"Sure." He scanned a page. "Might as well have a few examples to trot out so she'll know I at least glanced at it. Did you know that if you took the total number of condoms used in New York City in a month and laid them end to end, they'd reach to the moon and back?"
"Can't say that I did. Would that be still in the package or unrolled?" Amanda swallowed a laugh. Will might actually like the book.
"Doesn't say. I'll bet unrolled." He flipped the page. "Here's another interesting factoid. An independent study found that the average number of orgasms experienced in a week by the women living in one square block of Pittsburgh was two point four."
"That's assuming everyone told the truth."
"Granted. But assuming they did, in a similar socioeconomic neighborhood in San Diego it was two point nine. I wonder why that is? Sunshine, maybe. Or salt air. The surf produces negative ions, which are mood elevators. That might account for the half percent difference."
"I wonder where they get the decimal points?"
"That happens all the time in statistics." He was already skimming another page in the book.
"But not in reality. You either have an orgasm or you don't." And for her, it was mostly the second option. If they polled her square block, she'd really bring those numbers down.
"Mm." He gave no indication he'd actually registered her comment.
That was a good thing. She had no business discussing orgasms with him, now or in the future.
"Hey, did you know that pigs are extremely orgasmic? And their orgasms last for—"
"I hate to interrupt, but we really have to leave." All this talk of orgasms was not helping her eliminate thoughts of sex, specifically sex with Will. But now she knew why he was so outrageously good at trivia in the bar. No matter whether the subject was baseball or sex, he soaked up facts like a sponge.
"We can leave in a second." He kept reading. "Did you know there's a native custom in the Brazilian rain forest where the women rub—"
"Unless you want me to go alone."
He glanced up. "Of course not." He closed the book. "Let's go."
She eyed the cover. "You might want to stick that back in the box before you parade through the outer office."
"Good thought." He dropped the book neatly into the FedEx box. "Where did she find this thing, anyway?"
"She didn't. I ordered it online."
His gaze was openly curious. "So you buy Gloria sex toys at the shop down the street and order up racy books online. That's some job description you have."
"I may have to package my resume in a plain brown wrapper."
"Do you ever find yourself wanting to try out—" "No."
He nodded. "Right. You're avoiding all that for the time being." "Yep."
"Consider the subject closed." "Good."
SIXTEEN
Will had no idea how he'd spend his nights in Amanda's apartment and keep his hands to himself, especially considering the role he'd be playing during the day. When they were in public, touching her once in a while would help make the boyfriend ploy look real. Like now, as they walked down the hall together, he should be holding her hand.
At least that was how he perceived a committed relationship. He should probably find out her preferences. "Since we're planning to advertise ourselves as a couple, how do you stand on the issue of public displays of affection?"
"That depends. The category stretches from fond looks to doing the wild thing on a park bench."
"I was thinking of a middle ground, like holding hands." "That's fine, I guess."
"Then we might as well get started." He reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. "How's that?" "That'll work."
Her hand was soft, but her fingers felt strong and capable— capable of turning him on if she decided to adopt that native rubbing technique practiced by the women in the Brazilian rain forest. He was still thinking about that custom. They used an ointment made out of indigenous plants, but he hadn't recognized the names.
Her hand became warmer the longer he held it. He could feel the heat traveling up his arm and moving through his body. Maybe she wouldn't need any special ointment, after all. He couldn't remember ever getting turned on simply by holding hands with a woman, but it was happening.
He needed to make conversation. "Going beyond hand-holding, how do you feel about a guy putting his arm around you in public?"
"I don't have a problem with that."
"Kissing?"
She hesitated. "I don't object on general principle, but in this case ... maybe we'd better not risk it."
"You could have a point." Too much yearning was going on, and what might start out as a simple peck on the lips could turn French in no time.
Even the hand-holding had escalated without his realizing it. He caught himself stroking her wrist gently with his thumb. It was involuntary, as if contact with her skin threw him into automatic stroking mode. He stopped.
"This could get a little tricky," she said.
"We'll handle it." He couldn't let her back out of the deal, not with some sicko leaving eighties tunes on her answering machine. "We know the dangers, so we're prepared to—"
Gloria walked out of her office, caught sight of them, and gasped. "What's this'?"
They let go of each other like a couple of school kids caught making out beside the lockers. Will hated that knee-jerk reaction and wished they'd braved it through, but they hadn't, and it couldn't be helped.
"Hey, Gloria, I really appreciate the book." He held up the FedEx box
.
"So I see." Fury glinted in her eyes. "You have the book in one hand and Amanda in the other. How cozy."
"We need to talk to you," Amanda said. "This isn't what it looks like."
"No? Then what is it? Did the building suddenly adopt the buddy system so no one would get lost in the halls?"
"Let's go back into your office," Will said. "We shouldn't be discussing this out here. And we do have an explanation."
"I certainly hope so." Gloria tossed her hair over her shoulders. "Because what I just saw makes no sense whatsoever." She stalked back through the office door.
"As Amanda said, it's not what it seems." William didn't think he sounded very convincing, but he was counting on Gloria's high opinion of her own desirability.
"Come on into my office and close the door," she said. "I prefer not to discuss personal matters in front of my clients, and my next appointment will be here in ten minutes. They had a sexual emergency, so I'm giving up my lunch hour to them."
Amanda went over to her desk. "Before we get started, I want to check this drawer." She opened it and lifted up her purse.
"Anything in there?" Will asked. She pulled out a red envelope.
"Damn!" He was beyond frustrated. "The guy was right here in the last half hour! We need a hidden camera or something."
Gloria looked bewildered. "Who was here? What's going on?"
Amanda walked toward her and held out the envelope. "Someone's been leaving valentines in my desk drawer."
"You're kidding." Gloria took the envelope. "Why would someone do that?"
Will swallowed his indignation. Gloria didn't mean to be insulting. She just didn't understand subtle sexuality, and Amanda was all about that. "It seems that some guy has become obsessed with her," he said.
Gloria shook her head in disbelief. "There must be some mistake." She opened the envelope, pulled out the card, and read the front. " I take the position that you are the perfect valentine.'" Then she opened the card and her eyebrows rose. " You can take any position you want. Your Secret Valentine.' "
After gazing at the card for several seconds, Gloria turned it so they could both see the inside.
My Nerdy Valentine Page 16