David remained silent.
‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’
‘Gee, Dad, I don’t know what to say. I never really thought about you getting seriously involved with anyone else.’
‘I didn’t plan it this way. I’m not a very good husband as you well know,’ Richard shot his son a wry smile, remembering, as he was sure David was remembering, the time his son had once attacked him physically for forgetting Kathy’s birthday. Kathy had been unable to hide her hurt from her son, and David, who was only ten, faced his father fearlessly and pummelled him with his small fists, sobbing, ‘You are the meanest man in the world. I hate you.’
‘Can you be sure you won’t hurt her?’ His question surprised Richard. He and his son hardly ever spoke of deeply personal matters.
‘No,’ he answered honestly.
‘Why did you do it, Dad?’
‘What? Be thoughtless? I never meant to be, it’s just the way I am, I guess.’
‘But why?’
Instead of brushing the question aside as he might have done in the past, Richard took the opportunity offered by David to have an adult conversation.
‘I really couldn’t say. I was brought up differently to you. My mother was always too busy with her committee work to show much affection. My father was hardly ever home. I grew up believing that affection was not to be shown at any cost, it was not the done thing. My mother once told me it was lower class.’
David was not about to let his father off the hook that easily. ‘You hurt Mum a lot. Why? Didn’t you love her?’
Richard swallowed the rush of irritation when he heard the sincerity in David’s voice. ‘I loved her, David. Very much. She always knew that. She understood why I was like I was. In fact—’ he glanced across at David, wondering how far to go, then decided to go the whole way, ‘—in fact, son, your mother drew me out to a degree. She taught me it was okay to have a softer side.’
‘I never saw it.’
Richard grimaced. The boy was direct, he had to give him that. ‘No,’ he admitted, ‘I wasn’t all that crash hot on showing it to anyone but your mother. And even with her, I could only do it in private.’
‘That’s weird,’ David said.
‘You would think so. Your mother showed you a lot of affection. You have her softer nature.’ ‘You don’t approve of that, do you?’
Ouch! But he pressed on. ‘I find it hard to deal with, yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Jesus, David, how should I know. I just do. Maybe because it’s so different to me.’
David changed the subject. ‘Do you love this girl?’
‘Yes.’
‘How old is she?’
‘Twenty-eight.’
‘What’s her name?’
And Richard, without even knowing it, broke his son’s heart. ‘Steve.’
Steve! It had to be her. There was no way there could be two Steves.
‘She’s an Australian photojournalist,’ Richard went on, oblivious to David’s sudden pain. ‘We’ve been up to Kariba together and she’s staying at the farm. I think we’ll get married. I wanted to ask her but decided to wait until she’d met you and Penny.’
David was in turmoil, knowing his father was waiting for a response, unable to think of anything but the wonderfully beautiful girl he had carried in his heart for ten weeks.
‘When did you meet her?’ he finally managed, his voice scratchy.
‘The night you flew back to school. She was staying at Meikles.’
God, no! The night after we’d been together.
Richard laughed, not yet having picked up on David’s silence. ‘Actually, son, I have you to thank in a way. If you hadn’t been going back to school I might have missed her.’
‘What does Penny think of her?’ David was stalling for time, trying to get the chaos in his brain together.
‘Penny hasn’t met her yet. She has been very busy in Harare lately, I haven’t seen much of her.’ Richard frowned, as he usually did when he was talking about Joseph Tshuma. ‘She and that bloody Tshuma are coming up the day before we go to Tuli. They’re joining us on the hunt.’ Then his face cleared. ‘Penny will meet Steve then. I’m sure she’ll like her, it’s impossible not to like her.’
His words acted like a buzzer. David’s heart, so full of adolescent love until then, turned to black hatred. He felt betrayed and cast aside. He hated Steve and he hated his father.
‘So what do you think?’ Richard asked.
‘Do whatever you like,’ David said coldly, ‘It’s never stopped you before.’
Richard slammed on the brakes and skidded the car to a stop. ‘Jesus H. fucking Christ, David, I just don’t understand you,’ he shouted, exasperated. ‘What’s the matter with you, anyway? I thought you’d be adult enough by now to understand that a man needs a woman at his side. Your mother has been dead five years. Why can’t you accept that I might fall in love with another woman?’
And David, from many years of practice, went into himself and refused to allow his father to see what he was really feeling. ‘Sorry, Dad.’ Richard recognised the tactic and knew he would never get through it. He pulled out onto the road again and drove dangerously fast, convinced his son was being difficult out of respect for Kathy’s memory. They drove to Pentland Park in silence, each one busy with his own thoughts.
By the time they reached the farm, David had regained his composure. He was ready to be introduced to Steve, he was even looking forward to it. ‘Does she know?’ he wondered. The initial shock and hurt had been replaced by anger and a burning need for revenge.
At the sound of the car approaching, Wellington went to Steve in the study and said, ‘The young master has come.’ Then he went outside with Elizabeth and their son, Thomas, to greet David. Steve was walking through the lounge when the car swept up the drive. Through the window she saw the passenger door open and Richard’s son jump out, greeting the servants in rapid Shona. Her steps faltered and she gave a small gasp of shock. David saw her through the window. She was standing stock still, one fist pushed against her teeth, her eyes wide. It’s her all right, the bitch.
Steve felt rooted to the floor. She hadn’t given much thought to the young man at Meikles all those weeks ago. She had a normal appetite for sex, and she’d felt lonely on her first day in a strange country. She had not seen any harm in the encounter. If she’d really thought about it, she might even have excused it away as a bid for freedom from a relationship which had lost its lustre. She had not caught the young man’s last name in the din of the dining room, had not made the connection between a casual dalliance with a young inexperienced boy and the man who caused the depth of feeling in her that Richard did. God, what will I do?
Richard came into the house and, with a pounding heart, she took a deep breath, put a smile on her lips and went to greet his son. ‘David, I’d like you to meet Steve Hayes. Steve, this is my son, David.’
She put out her hand and said, ‘I’m pleased to meet you, David,’ her eyes pleading with him not to give her away.
David took her hand and shook it. ‘How do you do.’ His eyes, and the set of his mouth, told her how angry he was.
Richard, behind his son’s back, raised his own eyes in a ‘don’t mind him’ attitude.
Steve stammered that she had to get back to her writing. ‘I’m sure you’re tired after your long trip,’ she added. Then she said to Richard, ‘I’ll see you at dinner,’ before taking refuge in the study.
Once there she paced the floor. The situation was impossible. Of all the rotten coincidences. ‘Serves me right,’ she muttered to herself. ‘Serves me bloody-well right. What am I going to do?’ She knew she could not carry on as though nothing had happened between David and herself. She had to tell Richard. What would he do? She felt sick at the thought. What if she lost him? How could she keep him? David was his son and she had slept with him. God, what a mess!
Richard popped his head around the door and found her paci
ng. ‘I’m just off to see Samson.’ He thought she was having trouble with her work. ‘Be back in an hour or so. Then we can have a drink with David. Don’t worry, he’s a bit upset but he’ll get over it. The news that his old man is in love came as a bit of a shock I guess.’ He kissed her briefly, leaving her shaken and scared.
As soon as the sound of his vehicle died away she went upstairs and knocked on David’s door. ‘Who is it?’ he sounded sullen and angry.
‘It’s me. Steve.’
‘Go away.’
‘Please, David, we have to talk.’
‘There’s nothing to say.’
‘Please, David,’ she begged.
She heard him moving to the door. When he opened it her heart went out to him. His face was so young and vulnerable and so very, very white. ‘What do you want?’
‘Can I come in?’ He stood back and let her in.
‘What do you want?’ he repeated.
‘David, I’m so, so sorry,’ she said softly. ‘I had no idea.’
‘I’ll bet.’
‘I didn’t, really I didn’t. I missed hearing your last name that night.’ She wrung her hands in her anguish. ‘What are we going to do?’
‘That’s your problem.’
Steve ran her hands through her hair, dislodging the knot. Distracted, she secured it again with a pin but bits of it floated down around her face. ‘I’ll have to tell him,’ she said, finally giving up on her hair. ‘We can’t keep it from him.’
‘He won’t hear it from me. I just want to forget it.’ His hurt made him want to hurt her but his youth did not give him the means. Steve was not insensitive to this. She had a younger brother in Australia and knew how betrayed David must feel. She tried to find the words to make things right between them, realising how badly she must have broken his heart.
‘David, what we shared that night is something many people share. You find yourself alone, wanting company, and along comes someone you like. You’re not looking for it but the time is right, the mood is right and sometimes nature takes its course. As you gain more experience you’ll realise that time we shared together was natural but it doesn’t necessarily lead anywhere.’ He was listening so she went on. ‘We shared a beautiful evening together. I will never forget it. But that was all there was to it. The difference in our age alone would make anything else impossible.’
‘What about the difference between you and Dad?’
‘That’s not the same thing. We’re both adults.’
He sneered at her. ‘You seemed to think I was pretty adult that night.’
‘I think you know what I’m saying, David.’ She still had his attention so she continued. ‘Even if I hadn’t met your father nothing could have developed between you and me, can’t you see that?’
‘Yeah, right. Keep talking. You’re bound to make yourself feel better.’
His angry words hurt. ‘I want to make things right between us.’ She sighed. ‘As for your father and me, that’s a different matter. What happened between you and I is likely to break us up.’
‘Like I said, that’s your problem.’
‘Are you so determined to hate me, David?’ she asked sadly.
His resolve nearly cracked at that point. The trouble was he liked her, really liked her. He pushed it away. ‘I just want you to disappear.’
‘I will. After the hunt. Your father has his heart set on it. I’ll tell him after the hunt. Can you give me that much time, David?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Please try, if not for me then for your father.’ It was the wrong thing to say.
‘I don’t give a shit about my father! He can disappear as well for all I care.’
Steve went to the door. ‘I don’t think you mean that.’ She looked back at him. ‘You must do what you must do, I respect that. I will tell your father after the hunt. If you want to tell him before, it’s up to you.’ She left the room, closing the door softly behind her.
David stared at the door as if it held the answers.
The next week was a nightmare for both of them. Richard, totally unaware of the real reason for the tensions between them, was puzzled by his son’s obvious dislike of Steve. It was not like the boy to be so rude. He could only put it down to David’s disapproval of his father wanting to remarry. As for Steve, she appeared distracted to the point of disinterest in Richard. She had even moved into the guest room saying it was for David’s sake. When he tried to visit her she turned him away. He knew she was working but sometimes it seemed she used her work to avoid him.
Thoroughly disgruntled, he made the final preparations for the safari, wishing he could call the whole thing off.
On the morning of the 2nd he told Steve she would have to move back into his room. When she opened her mouth to disagree he said, ‘There’s no choice. Penny and Joseph Tshuma arrive this afternoon and so does Greg. I don’t have enough space as it is.’ She nodded reluctantly, wanting to be with him but wanting to spare David any more pain. Richard tried to reach her. ‘What’s wrong, Steve? We were so close, where have you gone?’
She nearly blurted it out then but, at the last minute said, ‘It’s David. He resents me, he needs more time.’
He caught her to him and held her, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head. ‘Thank God. I thought there was something wrong between us.’
He felt a tremor run through her. When she spoke her voice was muffled against his chest. ‘I love you, Richard. Always remember that.’
‘And I love you, beautiful one. Always remember that.’
Her heart nearly broke. You won’t. You couldn’t possibly once you knew.
Greg Yeomans arrived just after three in the afternoon. ‘He here yet?’ he asked as Richard greeted him.
‘Not yet. They’ll probably get here around six. They only finish work at four.’
Steve greeted Greg warmly. It would be a relief to have him here, diffusing the David situation. David was nowhere around. He and Thomas had started going back into the game reserve every day, returning just on dusk.
‘All set for the big trip?’ Greg asked her.
‘Can’t wait,’ Steve replied, knowing that the end of the trip was the end of her happiness.
Greg looked at her closely. She looked different. Not the carefree young woman, happy and in love, he had seen last. He wondered what Richard had been doing to make her unhappy. He knew that Richard’s restlessness made him appear irritable and impatient and that he seemed incapable of showing affection. But Kathy, a woman he had liked and respected, had loved Richard to distraction, so he knew there had to be more to the man than he was prepared to show. He looked across to Richard to see if he too wore the same sadness. But Richard looked as he had on Greg’s previous visit, guiltless and in love.
Maxwell bounded up, eyeing Greg’s boots hopefully but Greg tickled the puppy under the chin and carefully placed his boots on an old table outside the kitchen door. Two small strips of leather, chewed to a pulp, were all that remained of his old boots. Judging by the condition of the table’s wooden legs, the puppy was trying to eat his way to where all the boots and shoes were now kept.
With Steve there Richard had to curb his impatience and wait to hear what Greg had found out. The three of them sat on the verandah, sipping beers, talking and joking. Steve relaxed and began to look and behave like her old self. It was so good to have something else on her mind. They spent several happy hours, just the three of them, waiting for David to return and for Penny and Tshuma to arrive.
They saw the Land Rover bumping along the flatland. The vehicle was making slow progress and, even from a distance, appeared to have seen better days. Steve left them, saying she would see them shortly. David’s imminent arrival had ruined her lighter mood.
‘What have you been up to?’ Greg asked as soon as she had gone.
‘Not me, David,’ Richard growled. ‘The boy’s giving her a really hard time.’
‘He’ll get used to the idea.’
‘He’s going to have to,’ Richard said darkly. ‘And the sooner the bloody better.’
They could hear the Land Rover grinding up the road to the escarpment. ‘Did you learn anything?’ Richard asked quickly.
Greg looked towards the noise of the labouring vehicle then said, ‘It’s starting up all over again. We have to talk, I need your help. Tshuma’s in it up to his ears.’ He had no time to say more. The Land Rover chugged along the drive and shuddered to a stop. David hopped out and joined them on the verandah. Thomas went to the back of the house. In the complicated way of things in Africa, it was one matter to be good friends with the son of the house, quite another to sit socially with his family.
‘What’s wrong with the vehicle?’ Richard asked as David sat down.
‘Don’t know.’
‘When did it start making that noise?’
‘Today.’
‘Have you checked it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you have any ideas?’ Richard asked irritably.
‘Nope.’
‘I’ll get the mechanic to have a look at it,’ Richard said, defeated by his son yet again.
Greg was looking at the vehicle in disbelief. ‘We’re not going all the way to Tuli in that, are we?’
‘Nothing wrong with it, it’s an old friend.’
‘So’s my sainted aunt but I wouldn’t ask her to run a marathon.’
Richard laughed. ‘Relax, I have a long-wheel base Landie in the garage. It’s fairly new.’
‘Oh, thank Christ.’ Greg winked at David. ‘That old girl couldn’t pull your foreskin back.’
David nearly choked on his beer.
‘Or the skin off a rice pudding for that matter.’ Greg’s humour diffused the sourness between father and son.
David had met Greg at Kathy’s funeral but did not remember until Greg called him Goliath. He and Greg talked a while about Scotland and school and David’s plans for the future. Listening to his son’s voice, Richard hoped the safari would help him get over his surliness. Being forced to live closely with each other for a week must surely show David how good Steve was for him. He really wanted his son’s approval but, if the boy persisted with his rudeness, Richard intended to ask Steve to marry him anyway.
Storms Over Africa Page 18