by Shana Abe
"What did you say?"
His tone was defiant, although his eyes slid from hers. "Love is stronger than death." "This isn't love! You can't love me!"
"You can't make me not." He shrugged, drifting back to the hearth, and the embers of coal that shone like rubies through his legs. "Anyway, it's too late."
She gaped at him. She could not think of a single thing to say.
"You know how we are, Zee. All that dragon business about constancy and fidelity, our bonded hearts. One mate for life." He smiled gently, sadly. "For death too, I must suppose."
"No, but—"
"You're unconventional and you're loyal. You don't think or act like anyone else in the tribe, and you don't give a damn about it, either. All the other drakon believe there's ice in your veins but they've got it all wrong. It's fire in you, Zee. You burn so bright inside, you outshine the sun. No one else knows that but me." His smile lost its melancholy. "And you don't like to cook."
"You think you know me? Honestly? A few days and nights tossed together and now we're bonded?"
"Is it James?" he asked, taking a seat atop the table, kicking his feet into the air. "Because you don't love him."
If it would have made a difference to throw something at him, she would have. "Do not presume to think you understand my heart."
"Well," he said with another shrug, "you don't. If you did, you would have trusted him enough to tell him about your Gifts."
She was cold because the kitchen was cold, that was all. The sullen fire in the hearth did little to dispel the chill of September and walls of earth behind stone, and the square of sunlight bore hardly any heat.
"And don't think I didn't notice how you neglected to mention the wallet of the sanf inimicus, either. Were you afraid to let him know how you'd gotten blood on your hands?"
She'd presented a deliberately tame version of the night of the dance hall. She'd made it sound like the two men had destroyed each other, because, yes, it had been easier than the entire truth. And there was a part of her, an appalling, cowardly part, that worried about what Hayden would say if he knew everything she was. What he would think.
That she was mad. That she wasn't Gifted; she was cursed.
Zoe found her voice. "I'm going to tell him. And all this is simply your reaction to my Gifts. You never loved me before, not in all those years. Now that you know who I—what I can do, you've convinced yourself it's more than what it is. It's simple instinct."
"Perchance you're right. But the result is the same, isn't it? We were meant to be together in life. That's our law, because that is our instinct, the natural order of our kind. Strongest mates to strongest."
She took the steps necessary to stand before him. She held out a hand to him and he accepted it, lightly, his fingers cradling hers; the needles of his winter touch crept along her nerves. "This is
not life, Rhys."
"No." He studied their locked hands, the pulse in her wrist, his smoky haze. "But it is still love. Just as I loved you when we were young—"
"Stop it," she whispered.
"My heart beats for you." He released her fingers—the pins and needles of his contact fading at once—and gave her that faint, sardonic smile. "Figuratively speaking."
"I am going to marry Hayden."
"I know. And I'm still going to love you." The smile deepened. "Sorry."
* * *
They arrived back at the house close to dusk. She'd kept her word and not ventured beyond the perimeters of the property. It was more difficult than she'd thought it would be, remaining in her place, exploring themaison and the back garden, thinking of all the avenues and shops and bridges of Paris she'd walked so freely only an afternoon before.
And now to be here. One house. Eight rooms. A bakery down the street offering fragrant croissants and breads and pies, all beyond reach.
Odd how she'd never felt so captive in Darkfrith. She'd never even really noticed the boundaries of the shire beyond the common sort of ways of we don't go south of Blackburn Road; we don't go east past the River Fier. Possibly because those rules affected everyone, young and old, male and female alike.
She'd never before come to dislike the confinement of brick and mortar so very much. And they did not return until dusk.
They were dirty, even Hayden, and brought with them the odor of muddy river. And ... chocolate.
She met them with a lamp at the back door. Hayden touched his lips to her cheek, took the lamp from her, and handed her a paper box. Raspberries gleamed inside it, dipped into rounded jewels of thick chocolate, sprinkled with colored sugar.
He'd remembered. Her sole weakness for sweets, rich dark cacao, the darker the better. And fresh raspberries at this time of year; he must have fair combed the city for them.
Zoe lifted her eyes to his, and smiled.
* * *
Sandu had no idea what Hayden James might be waiting for. It wasn't as if the man wasn't engaged to the most glittering female Sandu had ever seen. And it also wasn't as if he didn't crave her: He could see it in just the way the other drakon's eyes followed her about, how when she was near Hayden simply stopped what he was doing to stare at her, absorbed. The fellow practically radiated heat when she passed.
Not that Sandu blamed him. There were a good many joyful things about Zoe Lane to stare at. He was having a deuce of a time himself keeping his gaze from wandering to certain enticing parts of her.
She'd been with them four days. Four days. Five nights. And now all the rooms of the maison were scented of her, and all of Sandu's clothes were scented of her, and everything she touched— everything—smelled like wonderful female. Like honey and desire.
They'd been engaged for years, Hayden had told him. She was still fresh as a flower for all that time—despite her own efforts to change matters otherwise. He'd heard them that first night in the hallway, even with his hands over his ears. Heard her pretty whispers, her invitation . and Hayden had only walked away.
It was confounding. Honestly. No doubt Hayden was tired—he and Sandu spent each day in prolonged, serious hunt; they had no one in the city yet to aid them—but how tired could the fellow be? Sandu was sixteen years old; one sweet beckoning glance from a dragon-maid as fair as Zoe would have had him tripping over his own feet in his rush to get to her. Especially one so devoted as to chance throwing away her life for his; he knew little about the ways of the English drakon, but one thing he did know was that they were terrified beyond reason of leaving their sheltered shire. That they had rules against it, all manners of rules. And that breaking those rules led to punishments he would not inflict upon even the lowest of serfs in his domain.
For all their similarities to the Zaharen, the English were a different sort of breed. That much was clear.
Yet he was heartened when, in the depths of that fifth night, the smallest of sounds jolted him awake in his bed: the diminutive snick of a latch being released, a door softly opening—Hayden's door, directly across from his. Footsteps on the rug. And then another snick, another sigh of wood pressing air: Zoe Lane's door, just down the hall.
Sandu nodded to himself, glad for his friend, the sliver of jealousy that stabbed through him easily repressed. He pulled a pillow over his head and tried to think loud, loud thoughts.
* * *
Her dreams were darkly blue. She floated amid them, unable to speak, seeing the faces of all the spirits floating with her. Cerise and Thomas, both her young nieces. Hayden. Rhys. Mother and Anton and Zoe's father too—his features flatly identical to the miniature her mother used to carry on a bracelet around her wrist, white-haired, glancing eyes of whiskey gold. Everyone here in the blue was someone she knew. All from Darkfrith. All crying out to her, many weeping. Hands raised, begging for her help, to stop them from all being killed—
"No, no." Hayden's voice came clearest, his cologne choking; she could actually see it, a spangle of silver mist twirling about her, binding her like chains. "No, love. Don't cry."
She
felt herself gasping for air, trying to escape the chains, trying to evade the faces, their pleas and their skeletal hands—
"Wake up," urged Hayden, so close, resonant in her ear. "Wake up, Zoe. It's only a nightmare."
She opened her eyes and he was there, flesh and heat, right above her, seated at the edge of her bed with his hands chafing her cheeks. She lifted her palms to cover his, clutching hard, still trembling, feeling the steady tension of his fingers.
"There," he whispered. In the shuttered dark his teeth gleamed with his smile. "There you are." His hands drew down her face to her neck, to the edge of her nightgown pulled in a taut line across her collarbone because she'd tossed and tossed in her sleep.
She sat up and threw her arms around him. She tucked her face into the curve of his neck and tried to breathe through her mouth, to lessen the reminder of sandalwood and chains.
"Ah, Zoe." He placed a kiss on her temple. "Beautiful girl." Another kiss, his hand sliding up to cup the back of her head; she felt his fingers tighten, urging her to lift her face. When she did, he leaned forward with new intent, his mouth brushing the corners of hers, slight, feathery touches. "You taste like rain."
She felt filled with a slow wonderment. It was like another part of the dream, so much better than the rest, but everything was still strange and disorienting, and he was kissing her more fully now, slow, teasing circles, nothing he'd ever done before.
"Hayden," she managed, breathless. "Hayden, there's something I have to tell you."
"Tell me later," he said, and pressed her back to the warmth of the bed.
He came across her at once, heavy for a moment, too heavy, as if he'd lost his balance against the spongy mattress. But then he lifted up to his elbows, and she could inhale again.
Without the wig his hair hung silky pale above her, a bare tickle against her skin. She lifted a hand, running her fingers through the blunted strands. "No, really. It should be now. Before we... before ."
His response was a lush, deep plundering of her mouth, his tongue a sudden flavor, musk and more brandy and him. Urgency.
"I'm Gifted," she blurted, as soon as his mouth lifted from hers. "All manner of Gifts. I can Turn invisible, Hayden. I can read minds."
He smiled against her cheek, his body stretched over hers. The covers were a wad of quilting between their legs.
"Amazing," he whispered, and pushed his pelvis against hers. "So amazing."
He felt heavy again, oddly ungainly. He was pulling at the ribbon drawstring of her gown.
"Did you hear me?" She caught her hand in his. "Invisible. Like this."
He did pause then, lifting his head to stare down at her, his head cocked. The bedchamber was gloomy but it was certainly enough for him to see her—or not, at the moment—if she could see him. His fingers appeared suspended, curled around the empty space between them.
"That,"he said, husky, "is quite a trick."
He released the ribbon and her hand, found her chin, nuzzled it with his mouth. Heat and sensation: another kiss across her lips.
Zoe felt a tingle of annoyance. "It's rather more than a trick." She turned her face away, visible once more. "I don't understand you. I thought you'd be—angry, or astounded, or at least want to... discuss the..."
He had stilled, that ungainly weight, that sharp sandalwood scent. He lay propped above her, saying nothing, his heart drumming directly over hers.
"No," she breathed, incredulous. She pushed at him, hard.
"No," she said again through her teeth as he rolled off her, right back to the edge of the mattress, where he sat, silent and inert, a block of wood.
"Is it you?" She scrambled free of the covers, shoved a hand against his shoulder; he accepted the force of it, didn't move otherwise. "Is it?"
Without warning, Hayden slumped forward, his hair dangling to his face. His torso lifted into a long, hoarse shudder; when he straightened again, he stared bemused about the chamber. He didn't even see her there, on her knees right there beside him.
"Hayden," she said, composed.
He looked back at her.
"Are you here now?" she asked.
"Zoe." He gave a little shake of his head. "Why are you in my room?
"I'm afraid you're in mine."
He came instantly to his feet. He smoothed a hand down his chest—he wore a nightshirt, his legs bare, and she knew now there were no drawers beneath it—and backed away from her.
"Don't be alarmed." She spoke soothingly. "You were sleepwalking, I think."
"I was? I say, that's . I've never ."
She scooted to the end of the bed, making certain her shins were covered. "How do you feel? Are you well?"
"I don't remember any of it. My dear! I beg your pardon. I fear I must have been far more weary than I even realized. Was I . did I do anything to—er, to offend you?"
"Not in the least. I awoke when you touched my wrist. That was all."
He pressed back against the door. He regarded her without moving, a golden-haired stranger who had embraced her with such passion only minutes before. There might have been a darker shadow beside him, to the left; a trick of the night or something more devious.
The annoyance from before spiraled deeper, twisting more into anger and a curl of unexpected grief, so she added, "But you may stay if you like, Hayden."
"Dearest girl." He reached for the knob behind him, caught himself short and sketched a curt bow. "I apologize most sincerely for all this. It won't happen again."
He was a spot of brighter gloom in his voluminous shirt, there and gone with the closing of her door. Zoe fixed her gaze to where that deeper darkness had been, now vanished as Hayden was.
"No," she agreed, clenching her fists. "It surely won't."
She waited sitting up in her bed, unable to sleep now in any case, an oil lamp burning a small yellow flame upon the bureau in the corner. Outside roosters were beginning to crow; she'd opened the curtains and the shutters, and the skyline of Paris was burning pink and orange. Cathedral bells clanged and clanged, challenging the roosters.
"Rhys." She shaped his name with hardly any sound. She thought it, she felt it, and cast the cloak for him, dragging back a wake of blue nothing.
"Rhys. Come to me."
There were clouds in the heavens. They were green on top, green with fire-painted edges. "Rhys Sean Valentin Langford."
She felt him before she saw him. Felt the air change, felt her body change, tiny hairs standing on end, an acknowledgment of his winter presence.
He was by the window. The colors of the dawn misted through him, mother-of-pearl through his outline of smoke.
"That was unkind," she said, just as quiet as before.
He looked away from her as if bored, toward the daisies on the wall. His arms were folded across his chest. Linen shirt, silver waistcoat. Those leaves of embroidered holly.
Just like Hayden's riding coat, she'd stitched that waistcoat herself. She remembered it well; his sister Lia had commissioned it one Christmas, years past, and Zoe had chosen for it the deep green thread she thought would best go with his eyes.
"Promise me you'll never attempt it again."
He shook his head.
"Promise."
"No. I won't promise." He spoke forcefully. Unlike her, he was free to be as loud as he pleased.
"Why should I?"
Her temper began to unravel. "Because it's wrong. It's wrong to—to toy with me that way. To meddle with my affections. With him, as if he's nothing more than a puppet!"
"I'm not toying. I'm dead serious."
She paused. "Was that supposed to be humorous?"
"If you like." He sounded surly.
"Well, I don't."Her fingers curled against the sheets. "I don't like any of this. I've told you that you need to leave, and you respond like this, like it's all a game to you, like nothing in this world matters to you but what you want, and what you desire." She tossed back the covers and climbed free of the bed, her nightgown a ruffled
restraint at her ankles.
He watched her come close. He watched her with eyes that now better matched the ethereal clouds. "Was it so unpleasant?" He was a lord, or had been, and he looked it still: regal and proud and handsome enough to steal the very light from the sky. "Tell me, Zee. Was it?"
She lifted her hands, frustrated. "It was a lie. So yes, it was unpleasant."
He dropped his gaze. "Not for me."
"You must never do it again, Rhys. I mean that with all my heart. Never again."
He tipped his head without raising his gaze from her feet. His lips made a mirthless smile. "We'll see."
And he disappeared before she could speak another word. The view beyond the window blazed clear again.
* * *
Against his will, by the haunting of his shadow music, he began to dream it: a life with her. Darkfrith, with her. Children, with her. By their living laws she was already his, and Rhys found it easier and easier to slip into the reverie of that notion.
Sitting with her upon the banks of the lake. Walking through the woods with her, the snow. Leaping to the stars with Zoe Langford laughing on his back.
Sleeping with her. Wrapped in long ivory hair every night, skin to skin, heat and pleasure. The taste of her lips.
Zee.
All his. At last.
Chapter Seventeen
Breakfast was a quiet affair. By the listless light of the kitchen hearth, she'd slapped together a meal from the sole items left in the larder: poached eggs and olive oil, a crumbly white goat cheese, and sausage links fried in cast iron. Coffee and milk and the last lemony wedge of the tarte au citron from that bakery down the street, almost half of which she devoured herself while cooking the eggs.
So the eggs were overdone. She'd disguised it by adding more oil to them than they required, but the results were adequate.
If Hayden and the Zaharen wanted an actual chef, they should have hired one.
Both were up and dressed by the time she was finished. She was on her second cup of coffee when they joined her in the dining room. She was seated upon the bench of the bay window with a hand lifted to hold back the lace panel curtain, watching the people leave their houses, sleepy-eyed maids and wives off to buy bread. Footmen walking dogs. Shop girls. Knife grinders hauling clunky wooden carts. Errand boys in ragged shirts and loose stockings. The sun was rising into a sharp new sky, layering shadows tinted lapis across the trees and sidewalks and everyone below.