by Monica Burns
Tobias suddenly released a soft growl and rolled away from her to sit on the edge of the bed. The loss of his heat made her skin grow cold. A shiver raced through her, and she wrapped the sheet around her to ward off the chill. Her gaze fixed on Tobias’ back, she saw how rigidly he held himself. Was he remembering how he’d yielded to her and the pain that followed? She’d asked for his forgiveness, but he’d yet to give it. Fear coiled inside her at his stillness.
Slowly, she moved across the bed to press a kiss against his shoulder. He flinched at the touch, but didn’t move. Uncertainty flared inside her, and her hand grew still against the warmth of his muscular back. With a vicious jab of his fingers, Tobias shoved his hand through his hair. It was an angry gesture that made her touch the back of his head in silent comfort. He quickly brushed her hand away.
“This should never have happened. It was a mistake.”
The harsh words echoed in the room like the quiet thunder of an approaching storm. She immediately jerked back from him as pain sliced through her in one fierce blow. The numbness spreading its way through her limbs was even more painful than when she’d learned the truth about Barnaby. She stared at Tobias’ back for a long moment and tried to convince herself she’d not heard him correctly.
Jane bit down on her lip until the taste of blood swept across her tongue. For the first time, she realized tonight had been nothing more than a game of chance. Unconsciously, she’d gambled on Tobias recognizing her in the silent hope he’d do so because he cared for her. He hadn’t. Until this moment, she’d not understood what she’d been up against. Mystère had held all the cards the moment she’d entered the room.
The knowledge that she’d been fighting a losing battle with herself only made the loss more humiliating. Without questioning him, she let the sheet drop from her hand and slid past him to get off the mattress. She’d taken only one step away from the bed when a strong hand snaked out to wrap around her wrist. Jane jerked her head to look over her shoulder at him.
“I might have allowed you the freedom to control me in bed, but you are still in my world, Tobias,” she said coldly.
As her gaze met his, she directed a pointed look at his hand. His eyes met hers for a brief instant before he dropped his gaze and his fingers uncurled from her wrist. Jane walked stiffly to the chair where she’d laid her clothes and proceeded to dress. The silence in the room was heavy with tension as she heard Tobias dressing behind her.
With a furtive glance over her shoulder she saw he was facing her, and his handsome features were like a roughly hewn granite statue. Their eyes met for a split second, before Jane immediately turned her attention back to her dressing. The man was blind. He’d kissed Mystère and Jane. He’d stared into the same pair of eyes, and yet he still couldn’t see what was standing right in front of him.
The realization cut deep. He believed their joining just moments ago was a mistake, and the knowledge was almost enough to crush her, but not quite. Jane forced herself to ignore the heartache that threatened to bring her to tears. She refused to let Tobias see her cry. She’d experienced enough humiliation for a lifetime with Barnaby.
Her fingers fumbled as she tried to close the buttons on her gown. A second later, a warm hand singed her skin as Tobias brushed her fingers aside to finish doing up the back of her dress. Her heart skipped a beat as the raw, potent maleness of him flooded her sense and rekindled the emotions he’d stirred in her earlier.
The memory of their lovemaking sent fire dancing across her skin. It was the same white-hot flame that had engulfed her just moments before as her body had throbbed beneath Tobias’. Then with a brutality that had left a jagged wound in her heart, he’d dismissed what they’d shared. The soft warmth of his breath against the nape of her neck made her shiver. Already the strain of being alone with him in the same room was making her long to obey the voice in her head that screamed at her to run. She ignored the sane warning and turned to face him. Tobias appeared completely unaffected by her, but his close proximity made her wish he would take her in his arms and recant his savage words. But he didn’t. He simply stared at her in a tense silence that did little to ease the sudden misgivings assailing her. Jane’s breathing grew unsteady, and she swallowed the knot in her throat as she reached out to touch his arm.
“Tonight wasn’t a mistake, Tobias,” she whispered.
“I beg to differ.” His expression was cold and implacable. Her heart sinking fast, she shook her head.
“No, it wasn’t. You honored me with your trust tonight and gave me a pleasure I’d never experienced before.”
“Trust. I wonder if you comprehend the word.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you?”
The silky note in his voice belied the crushing weight of steel underneath as he studied her coldly. He was angry. His entire body vibrated with a ferocity that alarmed her. The sound of her heartbeat thundered in her ears, and her throat closed as she met his furious gaze.
With a deliberateness that made an invisible vise wrap around her chest, his beautifully shaped hand captured hers. As his mouth brushed across her fingers, the air in her lungs evaporated. Slowly he pulled her forefinger into his mouth, his gaze locking with hers. His tongue swirled around the digit before he released her finger to caress the center of her palm with his mouth.
The seductive touch renewed her desire for him like a flame sparking in a bed of embers. Every part of her wanted to give way to the sensations bombarding her. But the small smile curving his mouth was far too cynical for her peace of mind. Dear God, even when she knew his attentions were meant solely to control, he was still devastating to her senses. His tongue flicked across the sensitive flesh of her wrist, and she quickly pulled her hand free of his grasp.
“Do not try to manipulate me, Tobias,” she said as she eyed him with determination.
“The way you’ve manipulated me?” His eyes narrowed as he folded his arms across his chest. His grim, unyielding manner filled her with apprehension.
“I’ve done no such thing,” she said as she shook her head at the accusation.
“Haven’t you?” The contempt in his voice was visceral in nature, and she flinched.
“Instead of cryptic comments, perhaps you should simply tell me why you’re angry with me.”
“By all means, my lady.” Rude and sarcastic, his words cut her like a shard of ice as his gaze held her hostage. “Remove your mask.”
“I beg your pardon?” Jane’s brain stumbled over his direct command.
“You heard me.” A quiet savagery vibrated through his words that made her jump with a growing dread.
“But—”
“Do it,” he snarled. “Show me your face, Jane.”
For a moment, she thought she’d imagined him speaking her name. Dazed, Jane stared at him in silence as she struggled to comprehend the fact that her world was collapsing around her. One emotion after another raced through her like quick bolts of lightning until she swayed slightly on her feet.
He knew.
It was the only coherent thought filtering its way through the fog that had settled in her brain. Slowly she reached up to untie the ribbons at the back of her head. As the domino fell away from her face, Tobias drew in a loud hiss of air then released it just as quickly.
“Fuck,” he said with a restrained fury that made her jump.
With a violent movement, he wheeled about on the edge of one heel and began pacing the floor. His reaction suddenly made her realize he’d not been all that certain that she and Mystère were the same woman.
The silence in the room was fraught with tension as she watched him prowl back and forth across the room. He moved with the beauty and grace of a large predator stalking its prey. Jane trembled at the image then stiffened her shoulders. She’d already made Tobias surrender to her commands. She could easily do so again. The instant the thought materialized in her head, the dark scowl on Tobias’ face made her question her optimism.
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br /> Tobias came to an abrupt halt and turned to face her. The stranger watching her had the hard, implacable visage of a man accustomed to dealing with the worst riff raff the East End could offer. This man would never yield to her bidding. Her heart sank as she met his cold gaze, while a knot formed in her throat as she waited for him to say something.
“You lied.”
Two words had never sounded so harsh or brutal in her ears. Uncertain how to respond, Jane stared at him helplessly. The contempt in Tobias’ dark brown eyes made her mouth go dry. Her worst fears were quickly becoming her reality, and she’d not even had the chance to explain.
Jane flinched. She’d had numerous opportunities to reveal herself and explain. She’d simply chosen not to. Mocking laughter echoed in the back of her head for thinking there was something to explain. An explanation meant revealing the truth. The thought terrified her. If she confessed her love for him, it would make her as vulnerable as the day Barnaby’s deceit had been revealed to her. Her stomach roiled as the painful past flooded her head.
Her father’s scathing words of condemnation. The terrible blow to her heart when she’d begged Barnaby to take her away and his cruel laugh as he revealed he was already married. Then the final humiliation when Barnaby coolly demanded money to remain silent about their liaison. The bitter taste of bile filled her mouth as Jane barely managed to keep from being sick. When she didn’t respond to his accusation, Tobias’ lips curled slightly in a thin, bitter smile of self-recrimination.
“If I’d confronted you last night, none of this would have happened,” he snarled and gestured toward the bed with a vicious sweep of his hand. “I wouldn’t have made the mistake of allowing my cock to lead me here tonight. But I did, and I accept blame for my role in this sordid little drama. But you, Jane. You deliberately kept the truth from me.”
Jane closed her eyes at the cold vulgarity of his words that revealed he held himself in contempt just as much as he did her. Guilt slid through her veins leaving remorse in its wake. With growing desperation, she tried to think of an explanation that would satisfy Tobias while sparing her the agony and humiliation of telling him the real reason she’d kept her identity a secret. A revelation she’d only come to understand last night. She shook her head as regret and dismay welled up inside her.
“I was going to—”
“What? You were going to reveal yourself after I’d fulfilled your need for amusement?” His bitter words sent an icy stream of fear skating down her spine.
“Amusement?” she whispered.
“This evening’s entertainment. My confession. Did I perform to your expectations?”
“My expectations…” She stared at him in horror as she realized he was accusing her of taking pleasure in his pain-filled confession. Horrified she took a step toward him, her hand outstretched to him. “No. How could you think such a thing?”
“You’re Culverstone’s daughter. I can imagine quite a bit.” The cruelty in his voice made her head jerk backward as if he’d slapped her. He could not have injured her more if he’d actually hit her. Despite the nausea threatening to bring her to her knees, Jane straightened her spine and shook her head in denial.
“I am many things, Tobias, but I am nothing like my father,” she said with a soft, yet fervent, conviction. “I’ll not deny that my sin of omission is the same as lying. I should have told you the truth from—”
“The truth,” he sneered. “The same kind of truth you demanded of me a short time ago?”
The scorn and bitterness in his voice lashed its way into her heart with the strength of a viciously wielded whip. In that same instant, she realized how terribly she’d wounded him. She’d betrayed him in the worst possible way. She’d demanded of him what she’d been unwilling to give herself. Trust. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest until she wanted to cry out from the pain.
In her short-sightedness, she’d destroyed any hope of earning Tobias’ love. She doubted even their budding friendship would withstand her betrayal. The knowledge filled her with a grief that threatened to cripple her. Desperately, she fought back the unshed tears watering her eyes. There was nothing she could say that would excuse her betrayal short of the one truth she didn’t have the courage to share. And even that would mostly likely be scorned by Tobias as another lie. Jane’s fingers curled tightly around the domino she held, the silk fabric of the mask giving way to her fierce grasp. Jane trembled as she met his unforgiving gaze.
“I’m sorry, Tobias.”
The apology was simple and forthright, but she knew it wouldn’t be enough. He was too furious to forgive her so easily, if at all. The chilly expression on his features didn’t change, and it made her realize her apology had possibly made matters worse.
“What, no demands that I believe such a seemingly sincere apology?”
“Despite what you think, my remorse is genuine.” Somehow, Jane managed to choke out her reply beneath his icy glare. “I cannot justify my actions, nor do I expect your forgiveness.”
“And yet you still haven’t shared your reason for lying to me.” The glacial note in his voice only reinforced the depth of his anger and unwillingness to give her absolution.
“Because I doubt you would find my reason an acceptable one,” she gulped as she suddenly realized there was one explanation that might satisfy him, while not exposing her heart. Her hands trembled as Tobias’ penetrating gaze swept over her.
“Let me be the judge of that,” he snapped. “Explain.”
The sharp command reminded her that a power shift had occurred between them. Despite her earlier efforts to gain the upper hand, Tobias was now the one in control. Jane’s hands shook beneath his fierce gaze, but she held her head high in the face of his anger. She refused to yield to him completely.
“I was afraid.” Her quiet words seemed to take him aback. Surprise flashed across his face before his unyielding expression softened to become something bordering on chilly granite.
“Have I ever given you any reason to fear me?” Although his voice was harsh there was a note of puzzlement threading its way beneath his question.
“No, but as my husband, you would possess the legal authority to keep me from coming to La Maison des Plaisirs Sombres.”
“I see,” he growled through clenched teeth. “As I recall, I agreed to our leading separate lives once we were married.”
“But you didn’t know I was a member here when you made that agreement.”
“So you concluded I would be selective as to what part of our arrangement I’d honor.” His voice cracked through the air with a raw fury that frightened her.
“I…no…I don’t know.” She shook her head as a sense of helplessness engulfed her. “I only knew I couldn’t bear to lose what little freedom I have. I couldn’t give up my right to choose.”
Tobias gaze didn’t stray from her face as he studied her in silence. There was a steely glint in his eyes that made her shiver. From his demeanor she was certain he knew full well how unsettled she was. She jumped the instant he moved toward her. When he stopped mere inches from her, the raw male scent of him filled her nostrils, and it was impossible to keep her heartbeat from skidding out of control.
“Put your mask on. I’m taking you home.” The autocratic declaration made Jane bristle.
“I’ve already made arrangements.”
“I said I’ll take you home.” His voice was inflexible steel, and in the far reaches of her mind, Jane experienced a small twinge of arousal.
She ignored the sensation. With a shake of her head, she stepped back from him. She might have yielded some of her power to him, but she would not surrender all of it. There was also the matter of the hansom cab waiting for her in the mews behind the club to consider as well. The last thing she wanted was to find herself alone with him in the close confines of the vehicle.
“I’m confused, Tobias. First you tell me tonight was a mistake then you express your contempt for me and my deception. While your anger is
justified, your determination to continue playing the role of Lancelot where I’m concerned is not only puzzling, it’s unwelcome,” she snapped. “There is no need for you to escort me home. I am quite capable of taking care of myself.”
“Just as you, capably, handled that bastard, Edward, a couple of weeks ago?” he said with harsh disapproval. While his concern for her was clearly genuine, it didn’t change the fact that she was in control of her own destiny. Tobias was questioning her ability to command him, or any man, and it infuriated her.
“Now you’re simply being insulting. I know better than to be alone with that man.”
“And what about me?”
There was a dangerous edge to Tobias’ voice that vibrated its way along every nerve ending in Jane’s body. The blithe retort that hovered on the edge of her tongue vanished as she stared up into his dark eyes. Fire burned there in the brown depths of his gaze, but she wasn’t sure if it was anger or passion. Jane swallowed twice in an attempt to allow air into her lungs.
“I knew you for the honorable man you are, Tobias. I trusted you.”
“But not enough,” he murmured in a fashion that suggested his anger was abating. At his reference to her duplicity, she bowed her head as guilt and regret swept through her.
“No. Not enough,” she whispered as she stared at the floor. A strong hand cupped her chin, and Tobias raised her head to look into her eyes.
“Then trust me now to see you home safely.”
It was neither a command nor a plea. It was simply a request to be of service, and her heart wept that it didn’t mean more. With a reluctant nod, she covered her face with her mask and allowed Tobias to escort her out of the room. The shadowy hallway was quiet as Tobias guided her toward the rear of the house.
“Your carriage is in the mews?” It was an observation more than a question, but Jane nodded nonetheless.
“I have a hansom cab that waits for me on the evenings I visit the club.”