by Apollo Surge
He was spent. If he hadn’t been so tired, if he wasn’t sleeping for the first time in what felt like weeks, then he was sure that he would have noticed.
He would have heard Joseph’s vehicle on the road. He would have been able to smell an alpha coming from miles away. His nostrils were flaring when Joseph had arrived in the cabin, and he thought that he was just having a dream, especially because he was so hard that it almost hurt when he woke up. That happened before the week, as if his body was preparing him for it, but there was nothing to prepare him for.
Not in this particular case. He had gotten away from anything that he needed to have been prepared for. He was staying away from his pack, even if he felt the pull of returning, even if he felt his body betraying him in the most basic of ways.
He didn’t like to think what his life would be like right now if he had stayed with his pack. At least there was the small consolation that it would probably be worse than getting caught by the alpha.
So far, he didn’t seem too bad. Not for an alpha, in any case. Of course Wes could smell him on the sheets, in the toiletries left in the bathroom, on the towels—but the smell was faint, slowly wiped away by time, and Wes had, mistakenly, thought that he wouldn’t be back for another few weeks yet.
At least not until the season was over.
But the season hadn’t really started and Wes couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of spending the season with this alpha. He wondered if the alpha was going to try and give him a choice—his pack or him.
He didn’t think so, because he didn’t seem like the kind of alpha that would enforce that, but the season hadn’t really happened yet and Joseph might be the kindest, nicest person in the world and the worst wolf ever. When a wolf was in heat, no one could ask him to be reasonable.
No one could ask him to be anything. No one could ask for anything from them, because they were nothing but animals. They were simply there to follow their biological imperatives.
Their top most biological imperative was to procreate.
He shuddered as he thought about that.
Maybe he would be able to get away from Joseph soon enough too.
He just needed to plan it. He needed to decide how he would be able to get away from him and then plan it, seriously plan it, so that it didn’t fall on the same night that the season started.
The last thing that he wanted was to be caught by the pack when he was trying to escape from them, especially on one of the nights when they would already be in heat.
He didn’t even want to think about facing that prospect. There were five of them, only one of him, and he didn’t like thinking about fighting them off.
With one alpha, well, he didn’t feel like he was going to be good at it, but at least there was something of a chance. Joseph would be stronger and faster than him, but Wes was smart and resourceful and… maybe he wouldn’t even have to defend himself from Joseph.
Hadn’t Joseph said that he was going outside to get a pig? Wes wondered what he’d meant.
Joseph walked back inside and Wes looked up, his jaw dropping open. Joseph had been speaking plainly, which was apparent from the pig wearing the Christmas sweater that he was holding in his arm.
“He would never forgive me if I made him stay out for too long,” Joseph said.
“Right.”
“You don’t believe me? Pigs never forgive.”
Wes tilted his head. “Okay.”
“Anyway, hold on. Let me just get him settled and then I’m all yours.”
Wes nodded. “Sure.”
Joseph smiled at him. It was the first time that Wes had seen him smile, and he couldn’t help but stare a little when he did. Joseph was a good-looking man, that much was obvious just from taking a cursory look at him. But there was something about the way that his face looked when he smiled. His eyes lit up and his teeth—fuck, there was something about his smile, about his slightly crooked teeth, about his canines.
He closed his eyes.
No, this wasn’t—this wasn’t him. This wasn’t a part of himself that he wanted to listen to.
This was the part of himself that was drawn to Joseph, to the lifestyle, to his pack. The very thing that he was trying so desperately to run away from.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He heard Joseph doing some things, though he didn’t want to open his eyes to see what they were. He knew that there was no way that he could outrun an alpha, so he wasn’t going to try.
He would have to plan his next move carefully.
“How do you take your tea?” Joseph said.
Wes opened his eyes and looked around the kitchen. He saw Devin Bacon in the corner of the room, bundled up in what looked to Wes like a dog bed and a couple of blankets to cover his curly tail. The front of his body was covered with a Christmas sweater so he would have been nice and warm without the help of any of the blankets, but it was clear that Joseph was a careful pet owner.
Or he really liked playing with his food.
“Wes?”
“I don’t know,” Wes said. “I’ve never really… had tea.”
Joseph watched him for a second, then he nodded. “Of course,” he said. “I’ll make it how I make it for myself, then you can decide how you like it. How does that sound?”
Wes nodded. “Sounds okay.”
“Good,” Joseph said. “So normally, I have a little tea and a little sugar. Picked up the habit from when I studied in England. Really helps with the cold.”
Wes watched him as he walked over to the stove, put the kettle on, grabbed two cups out of the cupboard and then grabbed two teabags from the cupboard above the sink.
He wiped them with the edge of his shirt. “You haven’t used the kitchen?”
“I told you,” Wes said. “I didn’t want to inconvenience you. Any more than I had to.”
“You really did think that you were going to crash here until I was gone?”
“Yes,” Wes said. “You have to understand. I’m not homeless…”
He trailed off when he said that. He supposed that he was homeless. That was the easiest, most accurate way to describe his situation.
“I guess I am. I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ll be out of your way soon. Just need to get my stuff. I have enough to repay you for the window and—”
“Wait,” Joseph said. “Stay. I’ve already put the tea on, so really, you might as well. It’s freezing out there and I’m willing to bet money that you don’t have a vehicle to drive away in. Otherwise, I don’t think you’d be here in the first place.”
Wes nodded. It was clear that Joseph could read him extremely well. He didn't know if that was because he was an alpha, or if it was because he was the kind of man who could just read people. Wes was a particularly easy target, because he wore his emotions on his sleeve.
It was something that his pack had frequently made fun of him for, and he couldn't see a way around it, though it would have been unfair to say that he hadn’t tried.
Wes had definitely tried.
He had tried to practice, so that it wasn't as obvious that he was upset, but they teased him mercilessly even when he gave himself slightly away, so he let it go. It didn’t matter if he tried, anyway. At least that was what the pack said.
They said it was in his nature. That because he was an Omega, he couldn't fight it, he couldn't pretend that he wasn't emotional and vulnerable. He had stopped trying, then, and he was sure that it showed, even to a stranger like Joseph.
Because Joseph might have been a stranger, but he was also an alpha, so he could probably read Wes extremely easily.
Wes nodded. “Yeah, I don’t have a car. But still, you don’t have to take pity on me.”
“I disagree,” Joseph said. “Pity is working very much to your advantage right now.”
Wes smiled, a little dryly. “I guess that’s the truth.”
“So tell me,” Joseph said. He was finishing up the tea. He walked over to where Wes was, and Wes took it,
smiling at him gratefully. His hands had been cold, but now they were warming up, and his entire body was grateful because the central heating had started to kick in.
“Tell you what?”
“About you,” Joseph said. “Why are you here?”
Wes swallowed.
“You don’t have a pack? Are you trying to find an alpha? Because if you are, you should know that I—”
“No,” Wes said, holding his hand up to stop him. “No, I'm not looking for a new alpha, and I'm not looking to sleep with you.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You might as well have, Joseph,” Wes said, sighing impatiently. He brought the tea to his lips, took a sip and felt the sweet warmth in his mouth. “This is good.”
He closed his eyes and took another sip. Joseph watched him for what felt like a very long time, but it turned out that the tea was exactly what he needed.
It made him feel less adrift, like maybe everything was going to be okay.
Or like maybe he was only so paranoid because he’d been hungry. He had been living off scraps lately, cutting corners, and he was almost down to his last slice of bread.
He hadn’t realized just how much something warm and homey would help him. He finished it all, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and sat back in his chair.
“Thank you for the tea,” Wes said.
“You’re welcome. How was it?”
“It was… good,” Wes said, closing his eyes. “It reminded me of something, though honestly, I can’t remember what.”
“Good,” Joseph replied. “I’m glad you liked it. Would you like some more?”
“No,” Wes said. “I feel a little lightheaded. I think that’s the most food I’ve had in a little while.”
“That’s not food,” Joseph said, clearly scandalized.
Wes felt a tug at the corner of his lips. He had heard of nurturing alphas, but as far as he knew, they were all myths. Omegas getting together at the end of a horrible day and trying to make themselves feel better told each other stories of sweet, nurturing alphas, stories of alphas that weren’t real and only existed in the imagination of omegas who were fed up with the abuse they were subjected to every day.
There was no way that Wes could blame them, but he knew better than to believe in fairytales.
He wasn’t an idiot.
He knew that the man whose house he had decided to crash in might be very nice to him right now, but that didn’t mean that he was always going to be nice to him.
His ability to be sweet had an expiration date. Still, Wes could see the pull of believing it, the idea that this sweet and good-looking man might not want anything from him after all.
He doubted it. He knew better than to believe it. He still felt the pull of it. It was a very tempting lie. It was a comforting lie, the kind that he could wrap himself with like a blanket, the kind that he could see himself believing because it was good. Because it was convenient.
But convenient wasn’t true. Wes knew that. He knew it from experience, knew it from the fact that he could feel his body reacting to his alpha and knew that the alpha would be reacting too.
He would be able to feel it in his body. He would be able to feel it in his core, even if he was trying to get away from it all.
“Wes,” Joseph said, bringing him back to the here and now. “What are you trying to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“By staying here,” Joseph replied. “What are you doing in my house?”
Wes bit his lower lip, his gaze darting away from Joseph’s. He didn’t think that he would be able to look right at him when he answered. He fisted his hands up next to him. “I'm just trying to get away from my pack, that's all.”
Joseph nodded. Wes could see his movement from the corner of his eye.
“They won’t come onto private property?”
Wes shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Joseph said. “Do you mind if I ask you about them?”
Wes’ eyes widened, his heart beating fast in his chest. He had heard of alphas taking over packs before. He was only trying to get away from his pack, he wasn’t trying to harm them. If Joseph went after Griffin…
“I just want to know so I can be prepared if they come over here.”
“Don’t worry,” Wes said. “I’ll be long gone before they come here.”
“Even then,” Joseph replied. “I imagine that finding another alpha so close near their territory won’t be something they tolerate very well. You know that they’re not going to just go looking for you, they’ll be able to track you here.”
“They won’t come inside,” Wes offered.
“Maybe when they’re not in heat,” Joseph said. “You have to tell me what they’re like so that I can be prepared. You know one of us could end up dying if you don’t.”
Wes glowered at him. He was probably being dramatic, because it wasn’t as if this was a hundred years ago and they were barbaric, but he got what Joseph was trying to say.
Not telling him who his pack was would put both his pack and Joseph in danger, especially if Joseph was stupid enough to challenge Griffin when he came over looking for his omega.
“Okay,” Wes said. “Fine. That makes sense.”
“Good,” Joseph said. “So more tea?”
Wes shook his head.
“Then you won’t mind if I get some for myself.”
“No, of course not,” Wes replied. “Go ahead, please.”
Joseph nodded. He got up, served himself some tea again, and brought it to his lips. He had a small beard and Wes couldn’t help but watch him, wondering if he was wetting his beard when he was drinking his tea.
“I’m listening,” Joseph said.
Wes nodded. “I don’t know what you want to know.”
“Everything,” Joseph replied. “Everything that you can think of. Let’s start with why you’re here. You’re an omega, so surely you’re highly prized by your pack?”
Wes shook his head. “I mean, I guess in a way I am. Just for what I can do I am, but I don't want this.”
“What don't you want?”
Wes sighed again. He could feel his eyes getting filled with tears as he started to speak. He was almost positive that Joseph would tell him to stop being such a baby, that he needed to suck it up and fulfill his purpose as an omega.
But Joseph didn’t say anything. He was watching him, “I don't want to have to live as a being in service of the other wolves in my pack.”
Joseph blinked. “Huh?”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Your experience is clearly very different from mine.”
Wes shook his head and scoffed. He looked away from Joseph when he answered. He didn’t want Joseph to see just how deeply this was affecting him, exactly how upset he was about it all. “I don't want my child to have the life I had.”
He hoped that would be enough for Joseph to let it go. He hoped that it would be enough for him to understand exactly why he had decided to smash a window and use his summer cabin as a place to hide away from his pack.
But the silence wasn’t empty and it was clear to Wes that Joseph wasn’t satisfied when he looked up at him again.
“Look,” he said, wiping his tears from his eyes and feeling like an absolute idiot. “I get it.”
Joseph watched him. “What do you get?”
Wes scoffed again. “I understand that it's my biological imperative to carry a child to term.”
Joseph said nothing to that, but he didn’t need to.
Wes was getting a little too riled up to be stopped by the way that Joseph was looking at him.
He waved his hands in front of his face. “Look, I get it. I’m supposed to be the omega and be there for the rest of the pack so that I can carry their children.”
Joseph’s eyes widened. “That’s how they do it in your pack?”
“That’s not how they do it in yours?”
&
nbsp; Joseph licked his lips, but Wes noticed that he declined to answer. He was curious about the alpha’s pack, but he supposed if he didn’t want to talk about it, he couldn’t force him.
After all, he was the one that had been caught in Joseph’s house. He didn’t have the right to ask any questions, because he didn’t get any privileges. His status as both an intruder and an omega made it so that he was the lesser of the two of them, regardless of how praised his position was.
“I came here because I needed to get away from them,” he said, his voice a whisper.
“Before the season started?”
Wes nodded, the tears in his eyes sliding down his cheeks. God, he hated this. He was exactly what Griffin said he was. Useless and always showing his hand. He sniffled a little and wiped his tears with the back of his hand.
“It’s okay,” Joseph said. “You’re safe here.”
Wes glared at him, but then Joseph extended his hand, and he patted Wes’ own. That was it. That was all that it took to get him from crying a little bit to crying like a bitch, which was exactly what he wanted to avoid.
Before he could stop himself, he was sobbing. It was embarrassing and he wished that he could stop it, but it was as if everything that he had been bottling up for the last few years was coming out.
He knew that there was a chance that Joseph might use it against him, but right then he didn’t care that much.
All that he cared about was getting it off his chest. He was sobbing, great big sobs, his shoulders moving up and down, as if he was a child.
The only thing that he could hear apart from his own pathetic sobs was the pig, and the heat, and the way that it was shaking the walls of the house. He couldn’t help but draw a comparison between himself and the house, though he knew that it was stupid.
By the time he was done, his eyes hurt, his nose hurt, and his throat hurt.
Joseph was watching him curiously, saying nothing still. Wes waited.
He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. Part of him thought that he was waiting for Joseph to tell him to man up, that this wasn’t a big deal, that he needed to grow the fuck up.