by Lori L. Otto
“I know,” I tell her. “But I love him, Mom.”
She’s silent for a few seconds. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?” she asks simply, closing the trunk after the cookies are carefully secured.
“Yeah,” I say back to her, happy that she’s not angry at me for saying it, or mad that we kissed in front of her. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, just telling her how I feel about Jon. She gives me a hug before we go back inside.
When I sit back down at the table, the cookie Jon had been working on is set directly in front of my chair. His gingerbread man has brown hair like he does, pretty green eyes like his, and a huge smile– I glance over to see him grinning at me. The cookie has on jeans and a white t-shirt that simply states “JON ♡S OLIVIA.”
“That is awesome,” I tell him and lean over to kiss him again. This time, it’s just us in the room, and I can kiss him like I really want to.
“Was she mad?” he whispers as we take a breath together.
“I think she’s happy for us,” I tell him as I put my hands on either side of his face and pull him toward me once more. “And I’m going to save this cookie forever.” I get up to find a plastic container and put it inside carefully, sealing the lid. I’m pretty sure I have some shellac in my paint supplies somewhere and will preserve it later. “I’m going to take this to my room. She doesn’t think my dad will be so happy about our sweeping declarations of love.”
“Really?” he asks, biting his lip briefly. “Good to know,” he says as he holds on to my arm and stands up, pressing his lips to mine once more. “I love you, though, and I think the world should know.”
“I love you, too.” I take his hand in mine and pull him along with me downstairs to the basement. I know it’s not allowed, but we’ll only be down there for a second. If I can get in one more kiss, I will.
“I see the painting’s still up,” he says as he waits at the doorway of my room.
“I’m not taking it down until I’ve done a better one,” I tell him. “It’s still special to me, even now that I can see some flaws.”
“That’s great, Olivia.”
“This way I can study it a little more before we go this weekend. I’m planning to give it a shot.”
“I can’t wait to see what you do. I’m sure it will be spectacular.” He walks toward me and puts his arms around me. I can hear my mom and brother upstairs in the kitchen, which is right above my room. I know she’ll come look for us in a few minutes, but that means we have a few minutes.
All of a sudden, we hear the front door slam. Not shut, but actually slam. That never happens in our house. I can’t make out the words, but I can hear my dad and my cousin yelling at one another. Jon and I look at each other, knowing we have to get out of the basement before Dad catches us down here. Sadly, since it sounds like the argument is coming from the foyer, that means he’ll see us coming up together.
I release Jon’s hand when he tries to hold mine.
“I just think it’s best for now.” Jon nods in understanding. The yelling continues, and we can decipher the conversation as soon as we get to the staircase. He follows me slowly upstairs.
“Well, you’ve got two options, Brandon,” my dad says loudly. ”You either pay me back for the legal expenses and whatever settlement we agree on, or you start seeing your little girl, once a week.”
“I can’t pay you back,” he says. ”I didn’t even ask you to help. That was Mom’s idea.”
“Then that leaves you with one option. Be a man. Get involved in your daughter’s life. You’ve missed two full years of it already.” Jon and I stop at the top of the stairs behind Brandon. Dad looks at us curiously.
“I never wanted a baby.” This makes my dad even angrier, and he focuses his energy back on my cousin, who looks pretty bad in tattered pants and a shirt that’s clearly too small. He’s unshaven and looks extremely tired.
“Well, your actions said you did. That’s what unprotected sex will get you. Why couldn’t you wrap it up, huh?”
Embarrassed for Brandon, I duck my head as my cheeks redden. Jon shuffles his feet nervously.
“Oh, my god,” Brandon mumbles. ”I’m twenty-eight, Jack, you have no right to question–”
“I have every god damn right to question you. I don’t care how old your license says you are, because you sure as hell aren’t acting like a man right now.”
“What, because I screwed up one time?”
“One time?” My dad laughs. ”Because you continue to screw up, son.”
“Don’t call me son,” Brandon seethes. ”You may think you’re the patriarch of this family, but you are not my dad.”
“No, and your dad’s just about given up on you entirely. That’s why I’m here today, and not him. Do your parents know about Sylvie?”
“No,” he says.
“When are you going to give them that news? They’ll want to know that a grandson’s on the way as well. Either you tell them, or I will.”
“I’ll tell them tonight!”
“Are you going to marry this girl?”
“Ummm.”
“And do you intend to raise that child?”
“Yes, Jack.”
“And how will you support him?”
“I’ve got a job–”
“Not one with health insurance. Not one that even pays enough for you to have your own place to live! Do you know how expensive kids are? Do you have any clue? Oh, right. No, you don’t, because you abandoned your other child before she was even born!”
“I didn’t know about her until last year.”
“That’s not good enough. That baby needs a father. You need to get involved in her life. You need to do it today.”
“Well, that’s gonna be a little difficult,” Brandon says.
“Why is that?”
“Because she lives a good thirty miles away and I kinda messed up my car last night.”
“You what?”
“I wrecked my car.”
“Were you drinking?” Dad asks. Brandon doesn’t respond. If there’s a cardinal sin in my family, it’s driving under the influence. My mom appears at the other side of the foyer, behind my dad, with her arms wrapped around Trey. “Answer me. Were you drinking?!”
“Yeah, Jack, I was. You think I was looking forward to today?”
“You son of a bitch,” my dad says, taking Brandon by the shirt collar and pushing him against the wall.
“Daddy?” Trey asks, clearly scared. Jon starts toward my dad and cousin, but I hold him back, not wanting him to get involved. I’d never seen my dad so angry and I didn’t want him to take it out on Jon.
”You selfish, disappointing son of a bitch. You’re the oldest grandchild in our family, Brandon. Look at the example you’re setting for your sisters and brother and cousins. What an embarrassment.”
“Go ahead! Hit me! I dare you, because I will sue your ass for everything you’re worth!”
“Jacks, let him go,” Mom says, putting her hand around dad’s bicep. ”Both of you, calm down.”
Dad glances quickly over at me and Jon and takes a deep breath. Standing up straighter, looking at Brandon eye-to-eye, he pushes into his chest and responds angrily. ”You’d have no chance against me, son. None whatsoever,” my dad says in his ear, letting him go.
“Brandon, you should go,” Emi says.
“Yeah, and you let me know if I need to get my lawyers working on a case against you. You either pay me back every penny, or you see your daughter.”
“You’d never sue me. You wouldn’t do that to my parents.”
“Funny. It was your mom that asked me to do this. So take it or leave it.”
Brandon just stares at Dad in contempt.
“Get out of my house.”
Brandon starts toward the door. ”How am I supposed to get back to Piscataway?”
“You say you’re a grown man. Figure it ou
t,” my dad says, walking past my cousin and opening the door for him.
“You can get a train at Penn Station that’ll take you to Edison,” Jon says suddenly, ignoring my dad’s stare. “I think there are buses that go to Piscataway from there.”
Brandon turns around, unaware that we were behind him. “Like I have cash for a train.”
“Sorry, man,” Jon answers, shaking his head. I know for a fact that he has cash on him–he always does–but I’m pretty sure my dad would throw punches if any of us did anything to help my cousin out.
“Let’s go,” Dad says, motioning for Brandon to leave. “And I don’t want you to come back here until you get your life back on track.”
“You won’t need to worry about that.” Dad closes the door behind him and looks at the four of us, the shock still evident on all of our faces.
“His behavior is unacceptable. Irresponsible and reprehensible. I won’t tolerate it in my family.” He looks directly at Jon when he says it, but doesn’t wait for a response. He goes up to his bedroom, his face red, his arms tensed.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him like that,” I whisper. Jon simply raises his eyebrows and heads toward the kitchen. The rest of us follow, Trey in my mother’s arms, holding her tightly.
Jon grabs on his backpack, putting the camera inside, and holds my hands. “I’m gonna take off for a bit.”
“No, don’t go.”
“Livvy, I think it might be a good idea right now,” my mom says. “The invitation’s still open for dinner, though. We’ll probably eat around seven.”
He looks at me. “Why don’t you call me and let me know if–” He glances to the third floor of our house. “You know.”
“He’ll be fine,” Mom assures him. “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
“Oh, no, don’t apologize. I can tell he just wants to protect his family.”
“Yeah,” she responds softly with an understanding smile. “I hope you’ll come back tonight.”
“Thank you, Emi. Walk me out?” he asks me. We walk out the front door together. “You think any of that was for us?”
“Huh?”
“Maybe he was using it as an opportunity to scare us. You think, maybe?”
“I don’t think so.” I hadn’t had time to process most of what just happened, though.
“I don’t ever want to get on his bad side,” Jon says.
“You won’t,” I tell him. “Brandon’s had that coming for a long time. He hasn’t really done anything right since he flunked out of college.”
“Well, maybe this will open his eyes to his responsibilities or something. I know it opened mine, and I thought my head was pretty clear.”
“You don’t need to worry. Please come back tonight for dinner.”
“I will. I just want to get out of your hair for a bit and let him cool off.”
“Okay.”
“Be nice to him.”
“I will,” I tell him convincingly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Olivia. Good luck.”
I watch him until he makes it to the bus stop, waving at him when he turns around and sees me.
“Were you two in the basement?” Mom asks me when I get back in the kitchen. She’s got a scotch on the rocks ready in one hand and a cookie in the other.
“Yeah. We were just looking at the painting of the lake house. Remember I told you–”
“Yeah, I know. Did your Dad see you two come from there?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t know he’d be coming in then–”
“I’ve got this, Livvy. Don’t worry. If anyone can calm him down, it’s me. Keep an eye on your brother?” She starts to head upstairs.
“Sure thing,” I tell her. I catch Trey sneaking a cookie off the counter. “Last one, buddy,” I tell him. He takes a tentative bite, and I notice the tear streaks down his face. “What’s the matter, Trey?”
“Why was Daddy so mad?”
“That?” I say as nonchalantly as I can muster. “Nah, he wasn’t mad. He was animated.”
“Like a cartoon?”
“Well, kind of, yeah. Our cousin Brandon hasn’t been on his best behavior lately. So he’s a little bit in trouble, but it’s all under control.”
“I think Dad was gonna hit him.”
“Hey,” I talk to him softly, grabbing another cookie for him to eat. “Daddy wouldn’t hurt a fly, Trey. I know he was loud and he looked mad, but he would never hit anyone. Okay? Has he ever even spanked you?”
“No. Mommy has.”
“I know Mommy has. But Daddy won’t do that. He’s never hit me, either.”
“I was scared.”
“I know, buddy. But I bet when he comes downstairs, he’ll be back to the daddy we know and love. And whatever happened with Brandon will just be one of those bad memories we leave behind. Right?”
“Right,” he says weakly.
“It’ll be fine. Wanna go watch a movie in the basement with me?”
“Yeah!”
Once downstairs, I let him pick the movie and we settle in with some sodas and popcorn. In no time, Trey’s completely entranced by the movie and has almost forgotten anything had happened when Dad finally comes downstairs. He’s changed out of his suit into some sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He seems completely relaxed.
“What are we watching?” he asks.
“Cars. What else?”
“Of course.” He laughs as he takes a seat on the couch next to Trey. “Hey, Jackson, can I pause it for a second?”
“Yeah, Daddy.” Remote in hand already, I hit the pause button for Dad.
“I wanted to apologize to both of you. And Tessa, I wish Jon was here, too, because I want to apologize to him, as well. There’s no excuse for how I handled myself with your cousin. He was just pushing my buttons all day–”
“What do you mean?” Trey asks.
“He was provoking me–” he pauses, realizing Trey probably doesn’t know that word, either. “You know how when I ask you to do things, and you don’t do them? You know how I can start to get a little upset about that?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s like that. I’d ask him to do things, to be a certain way, and he just kept... he just kept letting me down,” he says finally, looking sad. “And I just don’t know how to fix it anymore.”
“You can fix anything, Daddy!” Trey says. Typically, he can, and I can see the sorrow on my dad’s face when he realizes this situation isn’t one that can be easily mended.
“Thanks for your vote of confidence, little guy,” he says. Trey hops up quickly and hugs my dad. “I think your mom has a job for you upstairs, Jackson. Can you go help her out for a few minutes? We can finish watching the movie a little later.”
I brace myself for what’s coming when my brother bounds up the stairs quickly. “I’m sorry you and Jon had to see that,” he says once we’re alone. “It didn’t help seeing you two come upstairs together,” he says as he raises his eyebrows.
“Dad, we were–”
“Your mom told me she asked him to help you carry down the laundry. It’s fine. I jumped to conclusions, and I think that just got the best of me.”
“Oh, yeah,” I say, a little caught off guard by my mother’s lie. “We wouldn’t come down here without permission. No, I know the rules.”
“I know you know the rules. I know I need to trust you a little more.”
Now I’m afraid that he’s just testing me, so I’m cautious about my response. “I’d like that,” I say simply. “I’m not a bad kid. You know that.”
“Yeah, Contessa, I do.”
“Cool.”
“Do you think I’ve scared him off completely?”
“Completely? No. You’re gonna have to try a lot harder.”
“He’s up for the challenge, huh?” Dad teases me.
“You have no idea,” I assure him.
“I heard you pic
ked him up this morning in the Audi. Any incidents?”
“None whatsoever.”
“Then make sure he gets back over here for dinner. Your mom won’t forgive me if I’ve ruined her plans for the evening.”
“Cool. Thanks, Dad.”
“You’re welcome, Livvy. I love you.”
“I know,” I say as I give him a hug.
“You know, of course,” he mumbles, holding me tightly. “You know everything, don’t you?”
“I learned it from you!” This makes him smile as he stands to go back upstairs. I help my mom finish the cookies, and then go with the rest of the family to drop them off at the hospitals. It’s already six by the time we get home.
Mom and Dad start making dinner immediately while I get ready. I text Jon at a quarter till seven, letting him know I’m on my way.
He and his brothers are sitting on the front stoop of his building when I pull up. “They wanted to see your car,” he explains when I roll the window down. I unlock the doors and Max and Will take turns in the front passenger seat, touching all the instrument panels and the soft leather seats.
“Can we go for a ride?” Will asks.
“Not tonight,” Jon answers for me. “Olivia and I are running late already.”
“But soon?”
I know my dad wouldn’t want me shuttling around a car full of younger kids, so I once again defer to Jon for the right answer. “We’ll see. Go clean our room and we’ll talk later.”
“Deal!” his brothers say in unison, taking off up the stoop. Jon gets into the car and closes the door.
“Hi,” he says with a smile.
“Hey.”
“Don’t worry about them. They never clean our room.”
“Okay. Someday I’ll take them, but maybe not quite yet. Dad won’t even let me take Trey yet.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it at all. They’ll forget all about it by tomorrow anyway.”
“Cool.”
I pull away from the curb and head south toward my house. I notice Jon’s leg is shaking. “Are you cold or something?” I put my hand on his thigh to still him.
“Hands on the wheel?” he reminds me just as I remember myself. “I’m nervous.” He sighs heavily.