by B. Love
For now, my main focus was the music, though. The music was my passion and it was going to fund my centers so that came first. I can’t lie… Alayziah had me. She might not have wanted me, but she had me, and when she did that poem, it was like she made it for me as if she was waiting for me. We finished eating and we were sitting there talking for I don’t know how long, but it had to be hours because we ended up getting a new waitress and I saw the sun peeping up. When I did, I pulled out my phone.
“Damn,” I said more to myself than her.
“What?” she asked.
Her back had pretty much been to the window the whole time. I watched as the sun rose and shined down on her face and I swear I fell in love with her beautifully damaged and complicated ass. The sunlight finally caught her eye and she turned to look out the window.
“Oh, my God. Have we been sitting here talking… all night?” she asked, pulling her phone out of her purse. “I have to go. I have to be at work in two hours.” She continued going into her purse and pulling out her wallet.
“Girl, if you don’t put that wallet back in your purse…” I said, slapping her hand and the wallet down.
“Terrell, I can pay for my own food. This was not a date.”
I shook my head and chuckled at her stubborn ass. “Whatever, Ziah, you’ll never need money as long as you with me. Don’t do that shit again. That’s an insult.”
“Fine.” She stood and waited for me to stand up and let her out.
I couldn’t help but let my eyes rest on her center and think about how good she was going to taste.
“Terrell…” She nudged my shoulder and brought me out of my trance.
“My bad, Ziah.” I stood and stepped out of the booth.
After dropping the money on the table, I watched her walk out of the restaurant. She was mine, whether she wanted to accept it or not.
Alayziah
“So, when you coming to the studio, baby?” Rell asked me as he unlocked my car door.
I shrugged as I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around his waist.
“When can I?” I asked when he turned to face me.
“Whenever you want to. I’ll clear my shit for you.”
I blushed. “You don’t have to go through all of that trouble. Just… let me know when you’re free.”
“Fuck all that. You’re my woman. You’re my priority. You come first. So, when you wanna vibe?”
“Terrell, you are not my man.”
“Well, you’re my woman. You’re my girlfriend, Alayziah. You might not be in a relationship with me, but I’m damn sho in a relationship with you.”
I smiled as he pulled me into him. Resting my hands on his chest, I looked into his eyes.
“You’re a mess,” I said as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“The sooner you let me in the sooner I can make you happy and keep you feeling loved and at peace.”
“So, can I come by tonight after work and school?”
“You don’t even have to ask.”
“Okay, I’ll call you and see if you’ve eaten yet.”
Rell stopped running his fingers through my hair and looked at me skeptically.
“What?” I asked as he removed his hands from my hair.
“Nothing, just… I ain’t used to a woman seeing about me.”
After standing on my tiptoes, I kissed his forehead lightly. His hands wrapped around my hips as he steadied me.
“Well get used to it. You put me first, I put you first. That’s how it works, right?”
Smiling, he placed his arms around my neck and kissed both of my temples, then my forehead.
“Right, Ziah, right…”
When he released me, he opened my door and I got inside. Once I was well on my way home, I called Kailani.
“Spill it,” Kailani said as soon as she accepted the call.
I smiled hard as I gripped my steering wheel. “Kailani, I just wanna say I love you, girl.”
She laughed and I laughed too, but I was dead serious.
“So, you guys had a good time?” she asked.
“Girl… yes. We talked all night, Kai – all night.”
“Word?”
“Word. We’re just now leaving the restaurant.”
“Are you serious?” she screamed so loud I had to pull the phone from my ear.
“Yeap. We just… vibed. He’s cool. I can’t lie.”
“So, when are you guys going out again?”
“Well, I’m going to the studio tonight. I don’t know about us going out, though.”
“What you mean you don’t know? I know you not still on that keep it business shit, Al.”
“Kailani…”
“Unh unh. Alayziah, Rell is a good ass nigga. Give him a chance.”
“Why? Why should I? Yes, he might be a good nigga but y’all don’t know me, Kai. I…” I stopped talking when I felt the tears forming in my eyes.
“What is it, babe? What’s wrong?”
“I just don’t want to fuck it up because of what has happened to me in the past. I don’t want to take my issues out on him, and I don’t want to be hurt again either.”
I drove in silence as she took her time to respond.
“Al, girl, I’m gone tell you like this… I was single for years before I met Bishop and I didn’t want to give him a chance but look at us now. He wouldn’t let me go. Rell, on the other hand, isn’t that type of nigga. I get that you’ve been hurt before and you’ve gone through some shit but don’t let that be the reason you lose him before you even get him. Rell doesn't play that shit. I know we don’t know you but I can tell you’d be a good match for him. Just give him a chance. Give yourself a chance.” I nodded but didn’t say anything so she continued, “Where you at?”
“On my way home. Guess I’m going to try and get a nap in before I have to get ready for work.”
“Text me the address to where you work. I’m going to bring you some lunch later.”
“Girl, you don’t have to do that. If anything, I should be bringing your pregnant ass some lunch.”
“I need an excuse to get out the house. Let me use you.”
I chuckled as I gave in. “Fine, Kai, I’ll text you when I get to the house.”
Rell
The whole time I was recording today, I couldn’t help but think about Alayziah. Between texting her and Facetiming her on her lunch break that shit wasn't doing anything but playing with a nigga’s emotions. I needed to be near her, so when she called me and told me she was on her way I was as happy as a stripper seeing a team of basketball players coming through. She knocked lightly and stuck her head inside. I couldn’t help but smile at her pretty ass.
“Come in, Ziah.”
She walked inside holding two containers of food and a smile. As I watched her walk towards me, I took all of her in from the patch of beauty marks, she had on her cheeks to the way she dragged her right leg when she walked. Everything about her was beautiful to me. I was taught to stand when a woman entered the room so by the time she made it to me I took the food from her hands and hugged her like it had been years since I last did so.
“How was work?” I asked as we sat down.
“It was cool, nothing to brag about. How has your day been?”
“Good besides missing you,” I replied honestly, as I opened my container. I had her to stop and get me a plate from Southern Hands, best soul food in Memphis, hands down.
“You just saw me this morning, Terrell,” she said, blushing as she opened her container.
“So… that was hours ago. I missed your face and your soul.”
“Don’t say stuff like that to me.”
I stopped what I was doing and stared at her. “Why not?”
“Gets me all in my feelings.”
“So?”
Ignoring me, she looked around my studio and checked my set up out for the first time.
“This is nice. I can’t wait until I’m doing what I’m passionate about fo
r my career.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“Money. I can’t do poetry and write books for a living right now.”
“Just go for it. Save enough money to pay your bills up for about six months and just quit. That’ll motivate you to do what you have to do to create a buzz for yourself.”
“Is that what you did?”
“Yeap, haven’t looked back since.”
She nodded as she coated a piece of chicken with ranch. After eating the bite of candied yams I had in my hand, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my everyday money. It was about two stacks give or take. I sat it on the mixing board in front of her. She stared at it for a while before looking at me.
“What’s that?”
“Money.”
“I know, but why is it there, smart ass?”
“I’m giving it to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to help you make your dreams a reality.”
“Terrell…”
“I want you to go home and add up all of your bills. Then, multiply that by twelve. Let me know the total and I’ll give you the rest in the morning, and when you go to work… put in your two weeks’ notice.” I rendered her speechless. She sat her to go container on the floor and stared at me. “Alayziah, get your food off the floor, country ass.”
“Rell, I can’t let you do this for me.”
“Why not? You wanted my help right?”
“Yes, but not like this. Not this much. This is too much.”
I stood and walked over to the coffee table I had in the corner of the studio. After picking up her poetry collection, I walked over to her.
“Where’d you get that?”
“I did my research. I needed to know if you were going to be worth the investment, and after reading this and watching your performances online, I wholeheartedly believe that you are. If you don’t want to take the money from me as your boyfriend, take it from me as your producer. I see greatness in you, Alayziah. Between work and school, you won’t have much time to perfect your craft. We need to fix that. If you quit your job that’s an extra eight to ten hours a day, you will have for writing, recording, shows, and even networking. You can travel when you don’t have class, build a name and brand for yourself, or just spend it vibing with me. So just… take the money and do as I say.”
“You are not my boyfriend, Terrell.” We shared a smile as I grabbed the money and put it in her purse. “Thank you,” she continued as I sat back down.
“If you want to thank me chase your dreams and don’t stop until you’ve lived them out to the fullest.”
Biting the inside of her cheek she nodded as my phone began to ring.
“Shit… forgot to put this on silent,” I said, pulling my phone from my pocket. I was about to immediately swipe ignore until I saw the name on my phone. Layyah.
“Answer,” Alayziah said, sitting back down and crossing her legs, completely ignoring her food that was still sitting on the floor.
I looked at her so long the call went to voicemail, but Layyah called right back.
“Yeah?” I spoke, my eyes never leaving Alayziah’s.
“Hey, Rell, you busy?”
“I’m at the studio so you know how that goes. What’s up? You good?”
“Umm… not… not really. I… I didn’t know who else to call.”
“What’s wrong, Layyah?”
“You know when I moved to Miami it was to be with Mike, right? I still got my apartment in Memphis, but I’m pretty much living here.”
“Right.”
“Well… I opened my beauty shop here and shit. One of my clients came in and you know how bitches be gossiping and shit.”
“Right, right.”
“Well, one of them was talking about her nigga from Memphis and how good he was treating her and all this and that, and you know me…”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “What did you do, Layyah?”
“I, um… we got into a fight and I was arrested. Mike bailed me out but when I saw his no good ass, I started spazzing on him too. He pressed charges and changed the locks on the house. All I have is my phone. He has the rest of my shit.”
“Okay, so what do you want me to do?”
“Make him give it back.”
I looked at my phone like she could see me. “Layyah…”
“Please, Rell. I just need you and Bishop to come and scare him a little bit so I can get my shit and dip. I promise I’m gone do right. I’m not even gone look his way. I’m just gone pack my bags and leave.”
“Then, what you gone do, Layyah? You can’t leave Miami because your business is there. What you gone do when you run into that nigga on the streets?”
“I’m not gone have to worry about that because you and Bishop gone make sure he knows not to fuck with me anymore. If you don’t handle this, I’m going to end up in jail or dead, Rell. You know how I am. I’m gone try to kill that nigga when I see him.”
I sighed heavily and ran my free hand across my face. Swear I thought I was done with this shit when I let her go. Now, she still dragging me into this craziness and I ain’t even her nigga no more.
“Fine. Where you at now, Lay?”
“Still at the police station.”
“Aight. We’ll handle the shit.”
“Thanks, Rell.”
I didn’t even respond. I just hung up the phone in her face. I cared about her wellbeing, but she was no longer my responsibility especially with me trying to build an empire with Alayziah. She was sitting there looking unfazed. I didn’t know how she was gone respond to me leaving her to go and see about my ex. I stood and grabbed her hands, lifting her from her seat. She didn’t want to look at me and I could understand that.
“She must be pretty special,” she mumbled, looking at the wall to the right of me.
“I just don’t want to see anything happen to her.”
Alayziah pulled the money from her purse before tossing it into the chair she was sitting in and trying to walk away, but I grabbed her by her arm.
“The hell is wrong with you, Ziah?”
“I’m not doing this shit again. I’m not gone be your rebound. I’m not gone sit around while you play with me on your free time and wait for you to let me go for her. I’m not gone do it, Rell. I can’t.”
“Mane, ain’t nobody on no rebound shit!” I yelled louder than I wanted to. I didn’t raise my voice. I didn’t go back and forth. Alayziah was bringing me out of myself, and I don’t like that shit at all.
“Whatever, Terrell, just go see about whoever that was. I’ll record somewhere else until you get back.”
“Fuck that. Your poetry is like your pussy. I bet not ever catch you letting another nigga handle either one.”
I watched as her jaw muscles clenched. I didn’t care how mad she was we weren’t leaving this studio until we were on the same page.
“You got some you wanna say?” I asked her.
She crossed her hands over her chest and mumbled something inaudibly as she continued to look everywhere but at me.
“Alayziah…” She ignored my ass.
The shit was so cute it almost made me laugh – almost. I stood directly in front of her and blocked her view. When I did, she tried to look in the opposite direction but I covered her cheek with my hand and turned her to face me. With closed eyes and pouted lips, Alayziah was breaking a nigga down and she wasn’t even trying to.
“Why are you so fucking stubborn? I’m not them niggas. I’m not gone lie to you. I’m not gone play with you. I know you might not want to trust a nigga but I’m gone show you that you can. I don’t expect you to just take my word on the strength of me saying the shit. I wish you would… but I can understand that you can’t. Them niggas bullied your heart, I get it, but you will respect me, Alayziah.”
Her shoulders loosened a bit and she opened her eyes but instead of looking at me, she looked down to the ground.
“Besides… I’m not your boyf
riend… remember?”
That caused her to look at me with anger in her eyes.
“Ugh, I can’t stand you, Terrell. I told Kailani this wasn’t going to be a good idea but nooo, she didn’t want to listen to me.” She grabbed her purse and her food as she continued her rant, “Gone tell me he ain’t my boyfriend. Ha.” Once she had all of her belongings, she came and stood in front of me. This time, I was smiling with my arms crossed over my chest as she started talking to me. “You don’t get to say you’re not my boyfriend. I say that. I don’t give a fuck if you’re my boyfriend or not. You mine and I don’t appreciate the fact that a bitch can just call you and you cut me off to go and see about her, but that’s my own personal issue and it has nothing to do with you. You just make sure you hurry home and keep your damn hands to yourself.”
I pulled her into me. “Are you done?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Watch your mouth. Don’t be cursing at me. I’ll be back in the morning, and when I come back, I want that total and for you to tell me that you put in your notice. I’ll walk you out. Call me and let me know you made it home safely, Alayziah.”
“Fine.”
Carmen
I stood back and took in the work that my hands had put in. I spray painted all of Alayziah’s walls, ripped up her couches and mattresses, shattered her plates and cups all over her kitchen floor, took a hammer to her TV’s, and put all of her underwear in a bag that I was taking with me, and poured bleach on the rest of her clothes. She was going to learn the hard way. Never fuck with a nigga that ain’t yours!
Alayziah
“Just slow down… I can’t understand a word you’re saying, Al. Where are you?” Jabari yelled through the phone.
He couldn’t understand me because I talked really fast when I was upset and crying, but these weren’t sad tears. These were angry tears. My apartment had been destroyed. I took great pride in my apartment. It was my escape, my place of peace, and to know that someone came inside and violated my place of peace had me boiling mad on the inside.