by Jess Dee
Ben, on the other hand, pursed his lips. She couldn’t see the little lines she was sure edged that grimace, but his anger and dissatisfaction were clear. They radiated off him in waves.
“And me?” Ben asked. “Am I no longer important to you?”
God, she wished she could say no, not anymore. But she’d be lying if she did. “Of course you are.” The words were wrenched from her soul. She didn’t want to admit them. Didn’t want Ben to know he still had this hold over her. But he did, and denying it was impossible.
Then why would she not let go of Josh’s arm?
“Marry me, Sienna,” Ben said. “Let’s put this hell behind us. We can go back to having what we had before.”
Sienna’s anger billowed out. Shock had held it in check up until now, but suddenly she couldn’t avoid it. She’d left Ben. Put him behind her. Made sure she was moving on. And what had he done? Ruined everything she’d strived so hard to accomplish. Ignored the efforts she’d made to change her world. Come stampeding back into her life, begging her to marry him, again!
Not fair. So not fair. His pleas undermined her will, her wishes.
“Before what?” she bit out. “Before you chose to work twelve-hour days, every day? Before your weekends became work days too? Before you cancelled every arrangement I made for us? Before you started skipping dinners and breakfasts, just so you could get to work on time? Before you forgot I was in your life, waiting for you? Day in, day out? Before all that, you mean?”
Josh’s response startled her. He took the hand that had been grasping his wrist in a death grip and held it in his own hand. Offering her…comfort?
She accepted it. Happily. Needing something to hold onto, some sense of stability in the madness that Ben was creating.
“You’re angry.” Ben nodded, accepting her outburst. “You have every right to be. My behavior was unforgivable. My neglect of you…abhorrent. I know that. I understand what I put you through, because these months without you have been intolerable. And lonely. So damn lonely.” He choked out the last words.
Did he want her sympathy? Tough! He wasn’t about to find it here. “Whose fault is that?” She didn’t wait for his reply. “How the hell do you think I felt all those times you had to work? All those times I pleaded with you to spend a little time together, and you said no? You think the loneliness wasn’t unbearable? You think it didn’t break my heart?” Uh-uh. Too subtle. “You think you didn’t break my heart?” Her hand shook as she pointed at him, jabbing his chest with her finger. “You broke us. You broke you and me. If you’re feeling a little lonely now, there’s only one person to blame.”
Ben’s groan was guttural. “You’re right. About everything. I fucked up. I broke us. And I was too damn blind to understand it at the time.” He rapped his chest. “It was my fault.”
He fell silent, as if the words he’d spoken had cost him. It took a few seconds before he continued, and when he did his voice was stronger, more determined. More like the Ben she knew, the man she’d fallen in love with. “I made a mistake, now I’m correcting it. Making things right between us.”
She almost scoffed out loud. “Sure. And how do you plan to do that?”
“I’ve cut back my workload,” Ben said. “Taken on fewer clients. I’ve even told John I’ll be spending less hours at the office. He approved it all.” Ben squared his shoulders. “I’m fixing what I broke. Making things okay for us. We can be okay. Things will be different from now on. I’ll be there for you. For us.”
Sienna stared at him, stupefied. “Honestly?” Ben had never tried to cut back his load. Ever. Instead he’d pleaded and apologized, promised to make it up to her. He’d never promised to work less. Yet now…
“Honestly, baby. I had a new contract drawn up, specifying the maximum number of hours I’m prepared to spend at the office. I would have come earlier, told you about it in Newie, but the contract took time because of negotiations. I didn’t want to see you until I had something solid and real to offer.”
Her anger disintegrated as quickly as it had appeared. Tears welled in her eyes. Three months after they’d broken up, Ben had finally come to his senses. He’d finally offered her, on a silver platter, everything she’d dreamed about for the preceding year. Everything she’d wanted.
This was it. Now. In front of her. If she reached out her hand she could take it. They could go back to the life she and Ben had planned to spend together.
God, she wanted that. She’d wanted it for eight years. Wanted it until her heart had broken into a million pieces.
Joy filled her chest.
She reached out to accept it. To say yes. To take back the future she’d thought lost forever—but found her hand trapped.
Josh held it, and he wasn’t letting go.
“Josh?” She looked at him questioningly.
Was she asking for her hand…or for his approval? Because if he freed her hand and she gave it to Ben, then whatever she and Josh might have had would be no longer. In a heartbeat she’d lose the chance she’d wanted with him her whole high school career.
The chance she’d grabbed wholeheartedly this afternoon.
“He’s feeding you a line,” Josh said with cool disapproval. “He wants you back, and he’ll do whatever he can to get you.” He shrugged. “I don’t blame him. I’ve only had you for a few hours and I’m loath to lose you.”
“Feeding me a line?” Ben? Could he be capable of that?
“Damn straight.” Josh nodded. “He’s telling you what you want to hear, because it’s the only way of getting what he wants.”
Josh had a point. The only thing that could ever convince Sienna to go back to Ben was the promise of less of his time spent at work. But was it a line, or was it the truth?
“Si,” Ben said. “I neglected you this last year. I know that, and it kills me every fucking time I think about it. But I never lied to you. I will never lie to you. You know that. You know me.”
She did know Ben. If he said he had a new contract, he had a new contract. He’d organized it for her. For them.
God, he’d changed his work habits. For her.
Again she reached out to accept his offer, but this time, more than holding her hand in his, Josh tugged on it, hard enough to pull her up off the bench. The second she was upright he caught her in his arms, pulling her flush against his body, his chest pressing against her breasts.
And there went her heart. Racing in five different directions at the same time. At least that was what it felt like. Her breathing became erratic again, and heat flooded her pussy.
Dear God. Her pussy? Aroused at a time like this?
“You want to go back to him? Then go,” Josh said. “I won’t stop you. I won’t get in your way. But you have to take those steps. You have to walk away from me in order to get to him. Can you do that?”
Without waiting for her response, he kissed her. With the full force of his Josh Lie-With-Me mouth. His lips consumed, his tongue seduced and his body molded to hers, reminding her of every delicious pleasure they’d shared that afternoon. Every mind-blowing orgasm, every titillating tease. Every laugh he’d wrung out of her and every tear she’d held inside upon learning about this childhood.
One afternoon, and they’d made magic together. Shared a wealth of intimacies. A treasure she only wanted to discover more of.
She kissed him right back, explored his mouth as he’d explored hers, pressed her aching pussy against his hardening cock, rubbing, seeking the pleasure, the release she knew he could give.
She’d waited a lifetime for Josh to acknowledge her, to want her, and now that he had, she couldn’t let go of him, couldn’t walk away. Didn’t want to.
When his mouth finally released hers, his breath came in short, sharp puffs. His erection pulsed against her clit, and his chest rose and fell unevenly—just like hers.
“Walk away, princess,” he whispered. “If you can.”
She shook her head, but before words could form in her mouth,
telling him she couldn’t and she didn’t want to, hands fastened around her shoulders and twirled her around, out of Josh’s grasp.
“She doesn’t have to walk,” Ben snapped at Josh. “I’ll take her.”
And take her he did, straight into another kiss, just as forceful and just as exquisite as Josh’s. Sienna could have objected, could have said no. If she’d wanted to.
She didn’t.
She hadn’t kissed Ben for months. The sweet, chocolaty taste of him—he’d always tasted like chocolate to her—swept through her, through her senses, taking her back to the time when she’d been happiest. When she and Ben had been perfect together. When they’d finished each other’s sentences, laughed at the same silly jokes, watched the same TV programs, fought over politics and torn off each other’s clothes with abnormal speed. The weekends spent naked in bed, separating only to sleep, eat or shower. Making love before sunrise—and before sunset.
And the love. The pure, whole untarnished love of two people. Ben and Sienna. Sienna and Ben.
She tasted it all in Ben’s mouth. Longed for it again. Yearned for it. Wanted what they’d lost in the rise of Ben’s professional aspirations. She’d loved Ben for a long time. She still did. Heartbreak and heartache had driven them apart, but still she loved him. Probably always would.
Kissing him brought back every cherished memory she had of him, every iota of passion she’d tried so damn hard to repress.
Already primed from Josh’s kiss, and still wet from the orgasm Ben had given her when she thought he was Josh, Sienna was as aroused as she’d ever been. More.
Two men wanted her. Two men lusted after her. Two men she wanted and lusted after.
A jerk pulsed through her when a pair of hands settled on her hips. While Ben’s mouth devoured hers, the taste of chocolate rich and sweet on her tongue, Josh tugged gently, pulling her ass backwards by mere inches, until it rested against his pelvis, his erection pressing between her butt cheeks.
Just like Ben’s had when she thought he was Josh.
She let him mold her to his shape, pressed back against him, wanting him there. Wanting him there as much as she wanted Ben in front of her.
God, she shouldn’t. She should choose one. Or the other. Not both. Not nestle into Josh as she kissed Ben. Not draw Ben’s tongue into her mouth as she rubbed against Josh’s dick.
“Kiss him,” Josh said in her ear. “Enjoy his mouth. But when you come, know who gave you this orgasm, because this time it won’t be your fiancé.”
O-orgasm? This time? What the—?
Before the thought could solidify, Ben tore his mouth from Sienna’s. “Touch her—and die!”
Ben’s warning held such malice, Sienna stepped back, straight into Josh. He clamped his arms around her waist, steadying her.
“A little late for intimidation, don’t you think?” Josh asked, his voice as sharp as Ben’s. “About three months too late?”
Ben’s hand tightened into a fist that he’d raised before Sienna could blink.
Shit. He was going to throw a punch.
“Ben,” she snapped. “Stop it. Now.” Her head spun. He was willing to fight Josh for her? The same man who hadn’t had time to eat breakfast with her in the mornings was now gearing up for a brawl?
Breathing hard, Ben glared at Josh. “Give me a reason not to hit him, Si. One reason. That’s all.”
“You’ll hurt your hand?” Josh suggested sarcastically.
“Josh,” Sienna chastised. She’d never seen Ben quite this agitated. In his current state, he could easily blacken Josh’s eye, or break his nose, or worse. The last thing he needed was Josh egging him on. The last thing she needed was the two men coming to blows.
“One reason, Si.” Ben shook, and Sienna knew it was from the effort he used to restrain himself.
“Fine. Do it, princess,” Josh said, backing down. “Give him the reason—if you can find one.”
Sienna didn’t need Josh’s permission, but it helped knowing she had it. And she did have a reason for Ben not to hit Josh. A good reason. He’d hate himself afterward, he really would. Despite this new, agitated side of him, he was still Ben.
She’d hate him too if he hit Josh, and she didn’t want to hate him. She really didn't. When it came to Ben, she just wanted to…kiss him.
God help her, all she wanted right then was to kiss Ben.
Without thinking twice, Sienna stepped forward.
Josh loosened his embrace, letting her go.
“Here’s your reason.” She pressed her mouth to his, molding her lips against his, dipping her tongue in his mouth to help herself to a serving of chocolate.
Ben kissed her back almost immediately, but he didn’t lower his fist. He still held his arm up like a warning to Josh.
And since Josh was at that very moment rubbing his hands suggestively over her hips, Sienna knew she had to act, fast.
Suppressing a sigh, she pulled her mouth away from his. “Ben C,” she threatened, “if you stop kissing me, for any reason whatsoever, I swear to God, I will never talk to you again.” She looked him dead in the eye. “Got it?”
It took him a long, tense moment to reply. But then he gave a sharp nod. “Got it.”
She gave a sharp nod back. “Good.” And this time when she pressed her mouth to his, she didn’t pull away.
Neither did Ben. The hand that he’d used to threaten Josh now clasped her neck, pulling her closer, holding her face to his, keeping her there as his lips stole her breath and his tongue plundered her mouth.
Ben did not stop kissing her. Not when Josh’s hands found her outer thighs, and not when, using deft strokes, Josh caressed her legs, pushing her dress up over her hips as he did so.
Goose bumps covered her entire body. His hands felt so damn incredible.
Then she remembered Josh’s promise: When you come, know who gave you this orgasm.
Orgasm?
Dear God, he’s gonna make me come.
While I kiss Ben.
The thought made her shiver.
The shiver made Ben try to pull away to snarl at Josh.
Damn it, she should have known Ben wouldn’t yield to Josh’s presence easily.
Too freaking bad. He’d held the strings to their relationship for the last year. Now they sat in her hand. She had control. She tugged his head back down to hers and kissed him.
Josh rolled her thong over her hips and pushed it down her legs.
He didn’t.
God, yes, he did!
The warm breeze fluttering over her nude pussy proved it. She kicked off the thong, groaning into Ben’s mouth, pressing her breasts into his chest, her nipples tight, aching beads that longed for a man’s touch, a man’s wet mouth …
Ben kissed her harder, more passionately, and she groaned again as Josh launched his attack. He spread the cheeks of her ass and pressed his dick in close.
Damn his shorts. She didn’t want all that material between them. She wanted his bare, pulsing shaft buried in her ass.
“Next time I make love to you,” Josh whispered, “I’m taking you right…here.” He thrust once, so his erection rubbed very lightly over her hole.
Sienna nearly fainted from lust.
Josh in her ass? Dear God. She wanted that.
Ben growled into her mouth and broke the kiss again.
“No,” Sienna objected vehemently. “Kiss me. Don’t stop kissing me. Ever.”
Blessedly, Ben obliged.
She needed Ben’s kisses like she needed air. Didn’t he know that? Hadn’t he always known that?
Josh drew his fingers over her pussy. Possessively. Knowingly. He ran his fingers from her clit downwards over her pussy lips, pausing only to dip inside for a second.
“I’m taking you here too,” Josh promised as he scooped up the cream that spilled from her channel.
Ben swore viciously as Sienna groaned into his mouth.
“Shh,” she soothed, kissing him, stroking her tongue over his until
once again Ben took control of the kiss. Ah, she loved it when Ben took control.
And a good thing he did, because Josh used her cream to moisten the cleft between her ass cheeks, providing just the slightest lubrication so he could slide his finger against her anus. When he did it once, Sienna forgot she was kissing Ben. When he did it again, she attacked Ben’s mouth with frenzied greed.
Holy heck, it felt good. Freakishly good. So good she could come just like this.
It was Ben who eased her into a less desperate kiss, a more arousing one.
Sienna doubted she’d ever been this turned on in her entire life. Even with her mouth plastered to Ben’s, she could smell the scent of her own arousal.
She widened her stance, moaned Josh’s name in Ben’s mouth.
“Ben,” her ex-fiancé growled. “My name, not his.” And he kissed her again.
Josh swept his fingers across her pussy again and again as he caressed her ass with his erection.
Dear God, she wanted that cock inside her. Wanted Josh inside her.
And Ben too.
Then she moaned Ben’s name as Ben’s thumbs brushed over her nipples. He’d slipped them in under her sleeveless dress, and because she was braless—deliberately braless, as Josh had requested—there was nothing between her flesh and Ben’s touch.
Holy fuck.
She was moaning both of their names. Ben’s and Josh’s. Kissing Ben while Josh fucked her with his fingers.
Okay, not fucked. Caressed. Aroused. Seduced. Delighted.
Just as Ben’s thumbs delighted her nipples.
And meters away, in the exclusive Club Evoke, music began to flow, seeping through the walls and doors as a song she’d never heard before played. She knew the voice that sang, though. Recognized the tones instantly, muted though they were. Aussie rock star, Nick Blackthorne.
How was it possible she recognized the voice of a rock star with no problem whatsoever, yet had trouble identifying the voice of the man she’d lived with for eight years?
It didn’t make sense.
Nothing made sense to her. Not anymore. How could it, when she stood between two men who fed her desire, her needs, her basic, primal lusts? Kissed and caressed her in public.