by Londyn Skye
With the extraordinarily elaborate décor inside of Fayetteville Town Hall, one would have assumed that it was a wedding reception instead of just an engagement party. James had yet to see it, though. He was sitting on his horse outside of the venue, polishing off the whiskey left in his flask. He was thinking about the fact that within a month he had slept with a woman he hated, was “engaged” to her, and that he was now walking into a celebration to honor their upcoming union. In his inebriated state, he nearly fell off his horse laughing at the hilarity of it all.
Despite how intoxicated he was, James gathered himself and hopped down from his horse. He swore the world was spinning when his feet hit the ground, but he somehow managed to steady his legs enough to carry him forward into the much-anticipated event. After walking in, swiveling his wobbly head, and finding the brain power to focus his eyes, he looked around and was immediately convinced that Mary Jo had planned this event prior to “his proposal.” It was far too elegantly decorated to have been thrown together in a matter of days. It was reminiscent of one of William and Landon’s over the top post-show galas.
The wine bar was the next thing James noticed after scrutinizing Mary Jo’s expensive decorations. He began making his trek toward it and passed by a man seated at a grand piano, surrounded by cellists and violinists, all playing softly. The sight of them immediately ignited a flashback of Lily onstage in James’s mind, but the whiskey the bartender was pouring quickly trumped the beautiful memory. While the liquor continued summoning him, James noticed the multitude of well-dressed slaves handing out cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. This time, he knew that Lily was somewhere amongst them, but he had no luck spotting her in the crowd. As he passed by all the exquisitely dressed patrons seated at perfectly placed round tables, he laughed internally at the fact that they had all wasted their time to show up to celebrate an impending wedding that he had no intentions of attending. It was his plan to mysteriously disappear from Fayetteville before having to contemplate between a bullet in the brain and standing at the end of the altar awaiting Joseph Parker’s pasty princess. If left with such a decision, he had no doubt which choice would be less painful.
James somehow made it to the bar despite his blurred vision and wobbly legs. He knew the chances were nil, but he wished to God they were serving backwoods, one-hundred eighty proof moonshine. He needed the kind that would drop him to his knees on the spot and leave him passed out in a puddle of his own piss with his face nestled in his own vomit.
“Oh my God. You’re late,” Julia discreetly whispered, grabbing James before he could attempt to order his backwoods numbing elixir. “Mary Jo is havin’ one ‘a her meltdowns,” she explained, while ushering him down a hallway into a back room. “She didn’t think you were gonna make it.”
Not to anyone’s surprise, Mary Jo was indeed in the backroom with her girlfriends being a tyrant. She had had similar fits when her birthday parties did not go exactly as planned, so they were used to it. As usual, they were doing their best to try to calm her but to no avail. Her tyrannical behaviors, however, came to an abrupt halt when James walked into the room. Upon seeing his face, Mary Jo immediately hopped the fence surrounding Looneyville and landed in the land of sanity. “Sweetheart, there you are. I didn’t think you were gonna make it,” she expressed, like the last hour of her madness never happened. Everyone but Julia departed from the room after seeing that all was now calm. “Where were you?”
“I had to work late,” James lied.
“On a Saturday?”
“People don’t just get sick Monday through F-Friday…” He hiccupped and then let out a belch that reeked of alcohol.
Mary Jo threw her hands on her hips. “Are you drunk?”
“I had a little to drink to calm myself down. I’m not a f-fan ‘a big crowds. I m-might ‘a ova’ served myself a little. Ppphh!” He waved his hand dismissively and nearly fell over. “So w-what?” he belched again.
“Julia!” Mary Jo yelled, never taking her eyes off James.
“Yes!” she replied, snapping to attention.
“Go and get him some coffee!”
“Yes, Mary Jo,” Julia said before scampering away to fulfill her request.
“I’ll be damned if you ruin this for me James Adams!” Mary Jo warned, lowering her eyelids into angry slits.
“Oh, quit your bitchin’!” He waved his hand at her again. “Don’t Worry! I’m not gonna ruin the damn MJ show!” he retaliated after his drinking had caused him to temporarily disregard the rules of engagement for the mentally disturbed.
“What the hell do you mean by that?” Mary Jo asked, suddenly tearing up. “This is supposed to be our special night, and you show up here late and drunk and now you have the nerve to speak to me that way?” she complained as her tears began to cascade. “I just want this to be perfect and you don’t even care!”
You’re damn right I don’t, James thought. However, he forced himself to stoop to the laws of insanity and reluctantly refrained from blurting out the truth. “Y-you’re right, MJ. I’m sorry.” He pulled her in for a hug and kissed her forehead. “I want this to be just right for you too, but I just get so nervous in front ‘a big crowds. I tried to calm myself down with a few drinks because I’m afraid I’m gonna ruin this for you.”
Mary Jo’s tears ceased in his embrace. “I’m sorry too. I guess I’m just as nervous,” she replied as Julia returned with the coffee and handed it to James. “Go on and tell my fatha’ they can make the announcements now, Julia,” Mary Jo further instructed her. She then traipsed over to the mirror to be sure she was in perfect order aesthetically.
James sipped a little of his hot drink and gazed at his “fiancé” over the top of the mug. In that moment, he realized that he actually felt sorry for her. Mary Jo Parker truly was sick, not in the ways that were noticeable to the naked eye; her ailment was similar to that of someone with a heart condition. Internally, things were just not ticking right. For her to become so emotional over an elaborate rouse was further proof of that fact to James. For that reason alone, he suddenly felt genuine sympathy for her. Still though, James was cautious. From his experience, people with broken minds were far more capable of destruction than those whose brains did not constantly misfire. He reminded himself of that truth as he stood in the breezeway listening to Joseph Parker give a short speech about how he and Mary Jo had grown up together and about the fact that he quietly hoped they would one day tie the knot. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw the smile on Mary Jo’s face stretch wider and wider, as if a lifelong dream was sincerely about to come true. When Joseph announced their names and the date of their wedding, Mary Jo took James’s hand in hers and they emerged from the hallway to the applause of an overabundance of people. Again, James noted the tears in Mary Jo’s eyes and shook his head slightly as his pity for her grew just a little more.
However, the pity that James had for Mary Jo was not what got him through every calculated dance, speech, and toast given in their honor throughout the night. Lily was there. She was not by his side where he wanted her to be … but she was there. That fact alone gave James comfort. Once his eyes found her, there was rarely a moment in the evening when he took them off her. It was like an impulse that he had no control over. Oddly, Lily had a similar impulse. She had no explanation for it, but she could feel when James’s eyes were on her. Each time, she could not stop herself from reflexively glancing back at him. James gave a close-mouthed grin every time the phenomenon occurred. He took it as a sign that her love for him was not altogether dead. That knowledge, along with a little liquid courage, gave James a sudden burst of bold confidence.
While Mary Jo was distracted by an onslaught of family and friends, James quietly removed himself from the group. He followed Lily as she made her way into the kitchen to replenish the hors d’oeuvres on her tray. Two other slaves were on their way out as she made her way in, leaving her there alone for the moment. Lily heard the door swing open behind her but thought nothing o
f it until she was suddenly gripped by the arm. She gasped after being startled and quickly spun her head around to find James hushing her with a single finger to his lips. He then ushered her down the hallway into the dressing room that Mary Jo had vacated earlier.
After making his way inside of the room unseen with Lily, James closed the door and locked it behind them, slightly muffling the sound of the music in the ballroom. He then turned around to find Lily initially staring at him before her eyes hovered away from him to the ground. He did not let it affect him this time, however. He stepped closer to her. “Dance with me,” he whispered, removing the tray from her hands and sitting it on a table behind them. When she did not object, he gently took one of her hands into both of his, brought it up to his lips and kissed it. Again, when she did not flinch, he continued to advance. He reached one hand out and placed it gently on her face. He closed his eyes when the feeling of her soft skin against his fingertips sent a pulse of warmth running through him. “Can we just pretend like we’re at one ‘a your post-show galas?” He leaned forward and placed his forehead on hers. “Just for a little while?”
Silence.
“Please?” he begged when Lily did not answer or move. He knew that she was scared to give into her lingering feelings, so he continued to take the lead. Cautiously, he wrapped his strong arms around her and slowly pulled her against his body. Like a man who had just gotten high, he let out a sigh of great relief once the feeling of her nestled comfortably in his embrace invaded his senses. Her fragrance, the feeling of her heart beating against his chest, even the light sound of her breathing near his ear had instantly cured his withdrawals.
James began swaying slowly with Lily to the music and, much to his pleasure, she slowly wrapped her arms around him and melted even more into his chest. The simple movement sent another surge of heat radiating from his core, rippling like a shockwave throughout his body. He was instantly erect. Lily could feel moisture pooling between her thighs as well. Her body admitted that it needed him despite the perils at war in her mind. The warmth it brought her caused her to snuggle even closer to her man. It was like James had cast a spell on her that she could not free herself from. Just a few words or caresses of his hands and she was ready to give into his every command. Lily had burrowed so close to him that he could feel her heart pick up pace and her breathing quicken. It made him hold her even tighter and give in to the unrelenting urge to kiss her on the forehead.
“I miss you so much, Lily,” James confessed. “I miss holdin’ you like this while we talk at night. I miss hearin’ you laugh. I miss wakin’ up with you in my arms and makin’ love the way we used to every mornin’. Damn, I miss the feelin’ of bein’ inside ‘a you,” he moaned. “I miss bein’ with my best friend. I just…” He stopped dancing and gazed her. “I miss us.” He caressed her cheek again. “Tell me that you don’t miss us too.”
Lily could not help gazing into his eyes as well. She refused to reply, but the single tear that cascaded down her cheek answered his question.
“This should be our engagement party,” James said, wiping away her tear. “William, your motha’, the twins, Isabel, the orchestra, Landon, they should all be here. Right now, you should be wearin’ one of Anna Mae’s beautiful gowns and…”
Lily suddenly pulled herself out of his embrace and began to hyperventilate.
“Lily?” James looked at her bewildered. “Lily, what’s wrong?!”
She took two steps back when James tried to touch her, then turned, and bolted from the room, slamming the door behind her. The mention of Anna Mae’s name instantly brought her back to reality after recalling the crime the Ghost Riders were rumored to have committed. For days, she had been drowning in misery over the alleged murders on William’s land. She blamed herself. Again, the fact that she had taught herself the piano seemed to have been a catalyst for yet another disaster.
Trying to do her best to ward off her tears, Lily walked briskly back toward the kitchen, putting as much distance between her and James as quickly as her legs could manage. After having long since convinced herself that nothing good would ever come of their relationship, she silently cursed herself for briefly giving in to his advances. James, in turn, was left there feeling completely puzzled. He was unaware of what had happened on William’s estate and had no idea that something so small could be such a major trigger for Lily. Not wanting to make things worse, he did not bother to go after her, but he certainly had plans to speak with her over the matter when the time was right.
When James collected himself, he emerged from the dressing room. This time, though, he found it far more difficult to continue his loving fiancé charade with Lily weighing heavily on his mind. Despite it, he reluctantly dragged his feet back down the corridor and headed toward the group that surrounded Mary Jo. She was so high from all the attention she was receiving that she did not even notice how long he had been gone. James cautiously sidled up next to her and put his arm around her to help ward off any potential questions regarding his absence.
“Hey sweetheart,” Mary Jo said, finally acknowledging his presence. He forced the ultimate fake smile for the audience and gave her a quick peck on the lips, drawing a round of awes from her girlfriends. James then backed away and joined Jesse, Jacob, and J.R. who were among the men powwowing on the outskirts of the social circle nearby.
“’Bout fuckin’ time you asked that girl to marry ya’,” Jacob harassed, slapping James on the arm. “Hell, I’s startin’ think you preferred men.”
Jesse and J.R. laughed, but James had not even registered a word his brother said. A man standing nearby had just stopped Lily and whispered his drink order in her ear. As was always the case, she had easily stolen his attention. He could still see how bloodshot and puffy Lily’s eyes were. He wanted more than anything to uplift her.
“Leela!” James suddenly heard Mary Jo yell, rudely clapping her hands at Lily like she was trying to wrangle the attention of a dog. James shifted his focus over to his “fiancé” with an instant scowl on his face. “More hors d’oeuvres for my friends!” Mary Jo demanded. “Can’t you see we haven’t had a tray come our way in nearly half an hour?! Can’t you do anything right?”
Lily held her tongue as always, but Julia shot Mary Jo a dirty look on her behalf. While standing behind her cousin’s back, she crossed her eyes together, stuck out her tongue, circled her finger around her ear, and then mouthed the word “nuts.” Her silliness nearly made Lily lose her composure and laugh. She kept it together, though, and slightly nodded to Julia as a sign of gratitude for helping to keep her calm.
“Dumb nigga’s,” Mary Jo complained to her friends after Lily walked off. “Sometimes I think they ain’t hardly worth the good money folks pay for ’em.”
Lily may have kept her composure, but the same could not be said for James. He had watched the entire exchange and had instantaneously surpassed his limit of Mary Jo blatantly disrespecting his woman. He could not shake his anger over the small mishap, especially when considering that that was probably the sort of torture Lily had endured from Mary Jo for hours at a time over the last several days. He thought he could handle giving into Mary Jo’s blackmail and withhold the urge to retaliate. Alcohol, however, always left him ready to walk on a fine line, not caring if he landed on the side with dire consequences. On top of her disrespect, it did not help that Mary Jo technically had a hand in why he could not hold Lily the way he wanted just moments before. It had not even been ten minutes and he missed the feel of Lily against him already. With alcohol leaving him mentally weakened, James suddenly lost all strength to abide by the laws he had learned at the asylum. After getting a glimpse of Mary Jo’s nastiness, he suddenly felt like “kicking the looney’s dog,” even if it meant “dragging the defiant patient to the meal hall kicking and screaming.”
Jacob finally nudged James on the shoulder after noticing the menacing scowl still on his face. “It was just a fuckin’ joke. Lightin’ up,” he said, referring to his stat
ement about preferring men. He snatched a drink off the tray of a passing servant. “Here. Drink this.” He shoved the glass into James’s hand. “Seems you need to fuckin’ relax.”
James snatched the drink and guzzled it but did not bother to respond to his brother. His ears had homed in on the conversation of the man who had asked Lily to bring him a drink just before Mary Jo’s rude demands. Horse racing and betting was the topic. The gentleman was speaking to Joseph and a group of his rich friends. David was the name James heard Joseph call him amid their conversation. David looked well-off and seemed to enjoy being the center of attention, just as much as Mary Jo. He was loud, obnoxious, and boasted of the thousands that he had won on horse racing as of late. James suddenly found himself gravitating toward him after glancing over and seeing Lily at the bar placing David’s drink on her tray.
James had caught sight of Lily glancing at the grand piano from time to time throughout the night as she made her rounds serving food and drinks. Since then, he had wanted to create any excuse he could to get her onto it, assuming it would lift her spirits. He now wanted that more than anything after her emotional meltdown in the backroom. After listening to David ramble about gambling, James finally felt he had found the perfect way to connect Lily to the one thing that always brought her instantaneous joy. With that as his goal, James confidently approached the group of older gentlemen. “So, you’re a bettin’ man,” he boldly interrupted, speaking just as loudly as David and immediately silencing the group’s conversation.
David removed his cigar from his mouth and looked James up and down before responding. “I am, and I always will be. Why do you care, son?” he replied, shoving the fat role of tobacco back into his mouth afterward.
“I’d like to make a wager.”
“Your drink sa’,” Lily said after walking up next to David.
David took the drink out of Lily’s hand without even glancing in her direction. He was too busy staring James down. “A wager on what, son? Spit it out,” he demanded, thrusting his drink glass toward James. The group of older gentlemen snickered.