by M. S. Parker
I'd seen eyes like that before. I'd pushed that memory down for years, boxed it up, but now I let it come forward. I needed it now to give myself the strength to decide where to go next.
I'd been twelve when my friend, Nick, had invited me over to his house for the weekend. We'd been planning on going camping with his family, but, at the last minute, his father had gotten angry at something and started fighting with his mom. Nick and I had gone to his room and listened to the arguing from below. It hadn't been like when my parents had fought. A little bit of shouting, maybe a tearful complaint or hissed insult. No, I'd heard screaming and name-calling, the sound of things breaking. Nick's face had been pale, but he hadn't said a word. We'd played a video game that neither of us had really cared about and had waited for the noise to stop.
When it had stopped, Nick hadn't wanted to go downstairs, but I had. I'd wanted to call my parents and go home. I'd known that my family wasn't perfect, but they hadn't been like Nick's family. I'd crept downstairs and headed into the kitchen to use the phone.
And that was where I'd found her.
Nick's mom hadn't been dead yet, but known she wouldn't make it. She'd had that same bleak look on her face that I'd seen on Nami's face today. She hadn’t responded or even seemed to care when I'd told her I was calling for help.
I'd found out later that there'd been dozens domestic violence calls to Nick's home, dozens of hospital visits for his mother. His father had been convicted of second degree murder and Nick had gone away to live with his grandmother in Texas. We'd stopped talking after that day. My parents had made me go to therapy, of course, and my psychiatrist had made me talk about my feelings for a while, and after a year, I'd stopped thinking about it.
Now, I needed the reminder. Every day Nami spent with Tanek was dangerous. He would kill her eventually. Maybe the same way Nick's father had killed his mother, in a violent outburst that had gone too far. Maybe it would be the culmination of injuries over the years. Or maybe Nami would finally give up and end it herself. Intentionally or by drinking herself to death. It didn't matter which scenario won out, they all ended the same way. With Nami dead.
No matter how hurt I was by her rejection, I still loved her, and even if I didn't, I wouldn't have wished that life on anyone.
Well, maybe on the abuser, I thought grimly. I wouldn't mind seeing Tanek getting a taste of his own medicine. I clenched my fist. I wouldn't mind giving it to him.
That wasn't what I needed to be thinking about though, I reminded myself. Tanek being punished had to be secondary to getting Nami out of that situation. I didn't know yet how I would do it, but I'd made the decision not to sit around and feel sorry for myself anymore.
I was going to save Nami. Even if she didn't want to be with me any longer, I would make sure no one ever hurt her again.
Chapter 2
Nami
I hadn't really noticed much of anything as the guards and I walked along the edge of the beach. I hadn't had any specific plans about where to go today. As part of mine and Tanek's honeymoon, we'd been expected to survey the country. We'd gone along the far side before circling back so that we were in the capital after only being gone for a week. I preferred this arrangement with my husband. He would be off doing his thing, leaving me to spend some time away from him.
Not that I could ever actually get away from him. The ring on my finger – Tanek's mother's – was the clearest visible reminder and I'd already perfected the art of not seeing it, despite its size. I was even able to push aside the weight of it. Not thinking about it should've been easy. The bruises were starting to fade and I barely felt anything from Tanek's wedding night assault. I could almost pretend that the pain was from other types of exertion, hiking, walking, sight-seeing.
The people of Saja, however, wouldn't let me completely forget. They wanted to congratulate me on my marriage, offer advice. Some of the more superstitious ones offered blessings, sometimes accompanied by gifts of flowers and rocks – sorry, crystals – sometimes even potions. I wasn't entirely sure what to do with those until my mother told me that she had an entire closet full of these sorts of things. Reminders of a time gone by when magic was as real as anything else. Usually, I loved that Saja still retained that in some places, but now it was just one more reminder.
I was polite and smiled at each citizen, staying well-within the circle of bodyguards Tanek had insisted on me taking. New ones. I'd been grateful for them at first. I'd always had to be careful being out on my own, hoping that I wouldn't be recognized, but I hadn't realized how much higher my public profile would be after my marriage.
I'd assumed the new contingent of bodyguards had been to replace Tomas and Kai with ones I'd never met before. Ones who didn't have a direct personal connection to me. Tomas and Kai had never exactly crossed the line between employer and employee, but they'd kept my secrets, become my link to home when I'd been away. Moving them from being my personal guards to my sister's had been a smart move on Tanek's part. There wasn't anyone I trusted more to keep Halea safe. I just wasn't sure that even those two would be able to protect her from Tanek if I broke my word and turned him in.
I'd been thinking about all of these changes when we reached the beach. I wasn't sure why I'd decided I wanted to take a walk on the beach, only that I'd felt drawn here. Clean, fresh air. The tang of salt from the ocean. The breeze. It was beautiful, but I knew it wasn't the beauty that had put it in my mind.
As I walked along the waterline, I was forced to admit the little voice in the back of my head might have been right. I'd overheard a seemingly innocuous remark yesterday about an American who spent a lot of time on the beach, drinking beer. I had no real way of knowing if that American was Reed, but there weren't usually that many Americans on the island to begin with, and the woman's description had been of a tall, handsome man with golden hair and black eyes. I knew Reed's body well enough to build the image even without a more detailed description.
When I first started down the beach, I was sure it was just some sort of whim. A last ditch effort to catch a glimpse of the happiness I might've had. By the time I was halfway down the beach, I'd realized it had been a crazy idea. Seeing Reed again wasn't going to help anything, no matter how much I wanted it. Seeing him would only serve to remind me of what I'd given up and what I would never have.
A crowd was starting to form and I struggled to keep my chin up. It was surprising how quickly I'd learned to make myself invisible, hunching my shoulders, looking down. I couldn't let that carry over to my professional appearances. I had to appear as the same Princess Namisa that Saja had always known. Chin up, confident, ready to take on the world.
I didn't know how much longer I could keep up the facade. I was a strong person, but I could feel the wear already. It wasn't just physical, it was mental as well. Mental, emotional...every bit of me was exhausted. I didn't want to be out here. I used to love being around my people, talking to them, listening to their problems. Now, I felt the difference between us even more than usual. It wasn't just the extra bodyguards either. It was the way they circled around me, preventing anyone from even getting close or talking to me. I was apart. Different.
“Nami!”
I froze. None of my people would ever call me by that name. It was a personal name, a family name. One that we used among ourselves or used as an alias. There was only one person I knew who would call me that name in that particular accent.
Reed.
The name pierced my heart. I wanted to grab onto the hope that sprung up, but I pushed it down instead. This had been a bad idea. I had no room for that sort of hope in my life right now. All I could truly hope for was survival and that my sister would be okay. The moment I'd allowed Tanek to put a ring on my finger, I'd given up the right to hope.
It didn't stop me from wanting to see him one last time, no matter how painful it would be. Even as I turned, I heard a scuffle and I watched as one of the new men tackled Reed to the ground. I opened my mouth to yell at
him, to tell him to stop, but the words stuck in my throat. I watched in horror as my bodyguard hit Reed again, then kicked him.
Finally, I found my voice and called out a harsh command. After so many years of speaking primarily English, my native language felt strange in my mouth. I hadn't forgotten how to command though. They might have been hired by Tanek and were more loyal to him than to me, but there was still enough respect for the Saja monarchy that, unless it went against Tanek's wishes, my word was law.
The man beating Reed stopped, his face flushed, breathing heavy. He looked annoyed at having been told to stop, but he didn't argue. Instead, he followed the rest of the men as they crowded back around me. They were closer this time than before, making me move at a faster pace until we were off the beach.
I went with them, resisting the nearly overwhelming urge to look back and see what had happened to Reed. It didn't matter that I still loved him. He wasn't my responsibility anymore. I couldn't think about his welfare. I had to think about my people, my family, my sister.
This past week had been like living in some sort of nightmare, one that didn't end when I woke up, but only began. Sometimes, I wasn't sure which was worse, the nightmares about losing Reed or waking up to the reality of what my life had become.
I'd hoped the honeymoon would give me the time to figure out a way to get Halea far enough away from Tanek to be safe. Once she was safe, I might be able to convince my parents of the truth. Instead, I'd been subject to public appearances where I had to pretend to love him, to be happy with my marriage. When I was worn out by them, we went back to whatever hotel we'd checked into for that day, and I'd be subject to Tanek's...affections. I'd stopped fighting him, but that hadn't meant he'd stopped hurting me. At least he'd refrained from hitting me as much.
And every night, before he fell asleep, he reminded me of what would happen if I dared to tell anyone about his treatment.
When we returned to the palace early, he cited an illness on my part, using the excuse to have me confined to my room for a couple days while he wormed his way even more deeply into my family. By the time I was deemed fit enough for a walk outside, Halea was only too excited to tell me just how much she'd been enjoying spending time with Tanek.
I should've had Halea on my mind as we made our way back to the palace. She should have always been the first thing on my mind, the only thing. I should have been thinking about how to get her away from Tanek, how to keep her safe.
The problem was, even with my eyes open, the only face I could see was Reed's.
Chapter 3
Reed
I didn't end up with a black eye, but the side of my face did turn some rather interesting colors. Fortunately, I'd spent enough time on the beach that I'd gotten a tan and the bruises weren't too obvious. My arms and legs were sore from where I'd blocked other hits, but overall, it wasn't too bad. The hangover was actually worse. Still, I refused to lay around in bed. I'd been moping for too long. I needed to get up and do something productive.
I spent most of Sunday trying to figure out the best way to approach the problem. I knew I had to do it from a logical standpoint rather than allowing my emotions to get involved. Whenever I thought of Nami being hurt, I couldn't think clearly. I wanted to go to the palace and demand to see Tanek, beat the shit out of him or challenge him to a duel or whatever it was people on Saja did when something like this happened. I considered lurking outside the palace until Tanek showed his face and then dragging him into an alley for a bit of turnabout.
As much as the idea appealed to me, I knew I couldn't do it. Not that I wasn't capable, but I knew that it would do more harm than good, not the least of which would be humiliating Nami. I couldn't do that to her, not on top of everything else. Plus, there was always the chance that she'd deny it all anyway and I'd end up in jail for assault. Tanek had to have something on her to have kept her from fighting back.
My next option would be to go to Nami's parents. I knew neither of them were very fond of me, but I also knew that they'd look poorly on anyone who risked tarnishing the family name. I had no doubt that Nami was hiding the truth from them as well.
The thing was, I didn't know which they'd consider the bigger scandal; that Tanek was beating their daughter or that someone was going to expose it. Parents who'd arrange a marriage to someone like that...I wasn't sure I trusted them to care more about Nami's well-being than they did about their good name.
I knew my own parents had cared more about the business part of my marriage to Britni than they had about whether or not I loved her, and that was bad enough. I liked to think that if I'd been in physical danger, my parents would've chosen me over business, but, in all honesty, I wasn't sure. If I was that uncertain about my own parents, I didn't think I could risk it with Nami's, especially when it would most likely be my word against Tanek's.
I needed proof. Evidence of some sort. I knew Nami. If she decided that she wasn't going to admit what was going on, she'd stick with it, no matter what. That meant she'd come up with some sort of excuse for any bruises. With her supporting whatever Tanek said, I'd get thrown out of the palace at the very least. Kai would make good on his threat at the worst. Instinctively, my hand went to my crotch. I had no doubt the bodyguard would indeed cut off my balls if he caught me talking to Nami again.
The first thing I had to do was discredit Tanek so that my own accusations would have more credence. That meant digging into his past. If I was lucky, I might even be able to find something bad. The problem was, I'd already proven that I was completely inept when it came to online research. This time, however, I couldn't involve any outside help. I had to do this on my own and discreetly.
That meant asking around.
Fortunately, I was able to play the ignorant American, fascinated with the whole concept of a monarchy. For the next few days, I made my way through various establishments, carefully asking about the new prince. I started at the hotel, asking members of the staff what they thought of Tanek. I didn't get much from them, but I hadn't really expected it. Employees at a place where discretion was certainly prized weren't likely to talk badly about members of the royal family. I had, however, seen the way several of the maids' eyes had flickered as they'd told me about the fairy tale life being lived by their princess. I hadn't been able to tell if it was jealousy or something more like worry.
The people of Saja were loyal, especially when it came to an outsider like me, but not all of them were skilled at keeping their feelings off their faces. By the middle of the week, I didn't have anything solid, but I did have a feeling that Tanek wasn't well-liked among most people. That, however, wouldn't be enough. Dislike of someone who'd been able to marry into the royal family could've easily been chalked up to jealousy. And even if it wasn't because he'd married Nami, Tanek's family was rich. I knew all too well how easy it was to hate people who'd been born into money. There'd been plenty of people in Philadelphia who'd hated my family just because we'd been wealthy. Well, I admitted, that might not have been the case with my entire family, especially my sister. Rebecca wasn't exactly a likable person.
Thursday evening, I found myself in a bar where I hoped alcohol would help people's opinions flow a little more freely. I started with asking about the king and queen, setting up my American curiosity. As I had everywhere else, I got the impression that the people of Saja genuinely liked their rulers. Unlike other countries, Saja had never really experienced any sort of true rebellion against having a king and queen. Their history was relatively peaceful and solitary. Nami's parents were just another in a long line of respected rulers.
When I turned my questions to the princesses, careful not to seem overly interested in one more than the other, everyone expressed similar sentiments. They believed Namisa would carry on the tradition of great queens and that Halea was a sweet and kind princess. I was able to edge into questions about Tanek, feigning ignorance over how the mantle of ruler was passed down on Saja.
Even with the alcohol, no one ca
me out and said that they didn't like Tanek, but people were less enthused about him than about the Carrmoni family. More than one person commented along the lines that they were grateful Tanek wouldn't be their king. While no one was willing to cite specific instances, the general consensus was that Tanek Nekane wasn't exactly a nice person.
Not exactly news to me.
I assumed the king and queen had done their own research into Tanek's background, but I wondered if that had included talking to people. One would think that they'd want to know as much as possible when it came to the man marrying their daughter, but I'd seen enough people fool themselves simply because the alternative would mean they wouldn't get what they wanted. Also, there was always the likelihood that people wouldn't dare to say anything wrong against the man their king and queen had chosen for the princess.
It was past midnight when I finally headed back to my room, more discouraged than I had been all week. I'd really thought I'd get something at a bar. Something solid that I could take to the king and queen. Now, I saw how stupid that had been. Why had I thought I'd find something that the king and queen hadn't been able to find? Sure, there was a good chance that the people of Saja wouldn't have wanted to tell their king and queen what a horrible man their son-in-law was, but I didn't know what had made me think they'd tell someone who wasn't only a stranger, but an American to boot. The people weren't hostile, but it was clear that a line existed between natives and visitors. Even if I could've told them that I loved Nami, I'd still be an outsider. She'd been right when she'd said that I couldn't understand.
I collapsed onto the bed after a quick shower and was fortunate enough to fall asleep right away. Most of the week, I'd been restless, waking every hour or so from strange and disturbing dreams, most of which consisted of me chasing something I couldn't quite get my hands on. I didn't need Freud to tell me the meaning behind that. This time, however, I slept straight through, not waking up until I heard someone knocking at my door.