“I pressed charges on him. For the first time in seven months, I finally pressed charges…when it no longer counted,” she whispered brokenly.
Her sobs were tearing through my armor that I used to surround my heart.
To hold me back from this very sort of thing.
If you felt, you hurt.
There was no way around it.
If you cared, and trust me, it was something that I tried valiantly not to do, you always end up hurt.
“You weren’t too late,” I told her. “And the charges did count.”
She shook her head.
“He was arrested, and in jail for only an hour. An hour, Sterling,” she rasped. “And I knew, the moment he came up on the man that was changing our locks that he wasn’t going to stop. He didn’t care. He felt like I was the reason for his bad luck. That I was the reason he didn’t get Lily like he wanted.”
I held her tighter, knowing where this was going before the words even left her lips.
“He slapped me in passing, knocking me down and then went into the bathroom. So I went into the bedroom that we shared. Where I slept next to him night after night, scared as hell but knowing he’d accept nothing less from me, and picked up the gun he liked to wave in my face when he was feeling particularly feisty,” she choked. “And the moment he started to pee, I shot him. In the heart. Because I knew if I didn’t, he’d kill me.”
I ran my beard along her face, trying to help the emotions I knew were barreling away inside her.
“I don’t think I would have done a damn thing differently,” I whispered. “Not a single damn thing.”
Hell, I was in an abusive situation for some of the most pivotal years of my life.
I got away from it the moment I could safely do so.
I could’ve told somebody.
But I didn’t.
Why?
I couldn’t really tell you.
When you’re in a situation like that, you don’t see things the same as you do once you’re free and clear of it.
You see them with these glasses on.
It’s like you’re aware that what’s going on is bad, but you don’t think you can get away.
And in Ruthie’s situation, she knew that once she reported what was going on to the authorities, something would happen to her.
So she’d taken precautions.
Not everyone reaches that point.
I never reached that point.
But Ruthie lost something that I’d never had.
A child that she’d loved with all of her heart.
And who wouldn’t react the way Ruthie had?
“What are you doing to my employee?” A man barked.
I looked up to see the owner of the place there, staring at Ruthie in horror looking like he was about to do violence against me on her behalf.
“Dane, this is Sterling. You know him,” she said in exasperation.
Dane’s eyes narrowed.
“Is this the boy that you kept making me watch the news for?” He grumbled crossing his beefy arms over his chest.
She nodded, biting her lip and glaring quickly at me before turning back to Dane.
“Yeah, this is him. He’s okay, though,” she told Dane.
“I can see that. Very healthy…” he said, looking pointedly at my crotch.
I laughed.
Ruthie, however, missed the whole interaction.
“So I’m guessing you want the day off,” he grumbled, starting forward.
Ruthie shook her head. “Not really, no. I was just hoping you wouldn’t mind that he’s here with me. I need the money.”
“You have vacation, you know,” Dane informed her, taking a seat on the stool behind the counter.
Ruthie nodded. “Yeah, but I’m saving that up for something important.”
His brows rose. “What you got to do that’s important that you need a whole fourteen days for?”
She pursed her lips. “I don’t know. But something might come up.”
I could figure out something to do with fourteen days.
And it involved lots and lots of cardio.
“Take your man and get out of here. Have breakfast. Be here tomorrow at nine. I got you for today,” he said, standing up and offering his hand to me. “Glad you made it home, son. You would’ve had one upset girl on your hands had anything bad happened to you.”
I looked down at Ruthie’s averted eyes, and realized that I did, in fact, have something good on my hands.
Something I planned to take care of indefinitely.
Whether she wanted me to or not.
Chapter 7
There’s a chance this is vodka.
-Coffee Cup
Sterling
I walked into the bar of Halligans and Handcuffs, Ruthie’s hand in mine, and came to a sudden halt directly inside the door.
“What?” I asked the men standing there like they’d seen a ghost.
Kettle, Silas, Torren, Loki, Trance, Sebastian, and Dixie were all standing there by the bar, frozen to the spot and staring at me.
Then, my brothers surrounded me.
The men I counted as men of my blood even when they weren’t.
The men who were genuinely happy that I was back.
Which made me feel bad.
I should’ve told them I was okay three days ago.
But I’d only thought about getting home. Then I’d only thought about Ruthie’s hot voodoo pussy.
“Shit, Kraken,” Dixie exclaimed. “Where the fuck have you been?”
I smiled as nonchalantly as I could, hoping beyond hope that he didn’t read in my eyes how bad it’d been. “I can’t tell you much.”
“Because he’s a SEAL and has an oath of secrecy. And he’s sworn to keep silent even if his life is in danger and the people he cares about want to know if he’s okay,” Ruthie grumbled as she pushed through the men that’d crowded in around us.
“So…when did that happen?” Torren asked with a smile on his face.
I grinned. “Last night.”
“Priorities, man. At least you’ve got them!” Torren winked.
I laughed.
It felt good to do that.
I hadn’t been able to do it much this last month and a half.
In fact, it’d been quite solemn while we were there.
My team and I knew how bad it was.
Knew that we’d have to fight for our lives if we wanted to get out of there and ever return home again.
So yeah, smiling and laughing had been at a minimum.
Ruthie walked into the kitchen, and I watched her go, only realizing when I turned around that all eyes were on me.
“So…that’s why you didn’t stay last night,” Silas said from behind me.
I turned slowly, seeing the man I looked up to beyond all others standing directly behind me with his arms crossed over his chest, and a very pissed off look in his eye.
Guess I didn’t get past him like I’d originally thought.
That didn’t surprise me, though.
Silas was a difficult man to read.
I still, to this day, had yet to figure out what he actually did.
I was aware that he owned quite a few businesses, and had his fingers in quite a few pies…but I knew he was more than that.
He had too many resources for him not to be…something.
I was betting he was CIA, but there was a bet going around that said he was a mercenary.
Whatever he was, I didn’t really give a fuck…as long as he was at my back.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I hedged, mimicking his stance.
His eyes narrowed on me, then suddenly he took two giant steps forward and picked me up in a bear hug so tight that I could hardly breathe.
There were exactly four men in this world that could touch me like this.
That was Parker, Cormac, Garrison…an
d Silas.
And Silas had only done this to me twice.
The first time had been when I’d gotten initiated into the club and I finally received my patch.
The second was now.
And I took it as a sign…one that meant he’d missed me.
“I’m okay,” I told him, slapping him on his back.
“I saw that for myself yesterday, and you look even better today. Which I’m guessing has something to do with that gray eyed, strawberry blonde who has a continuously bad attitude,” Silas said. “And if you hurt her, you know I’ll have to beat the shit out of you, right?”
I snorted.
Yet, I didn’t doubt it whatsoever.
I knew for a fact that he’d be carrying out any and all punishments if I hurt his wife’s best friend, and I respected him for it.
Ruthie needed someone like Silas on her side.
And I was glad she had it.
“I know,” I nodded. “And you have my permission to if I do…”
He slapped his hand down a little harder than he needed to against my shoulder, and stepped back. “How about a round of shots as a celebration for making it home?”
I grinned.
“Sounds like a motherfuckin’ plan.”
Silas nodded, but gestured to a room at my back.
“We’ll do it in church,” he said. “I have some things I want you to know.”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
What did he have to say that he wanted us to go to a place that was sacred to The Dixie Wardens?
Was something wrong?
Had something happened while I was away?
***
Ruthie
I poured ten more shots and placed them each on a simple black tray.
When I’d first started out at Halligans and Handcuffs, I’d been a complete novice when it came to drinks.
Now, long months later, I could practically recite each drink’s alcohol content and exactly what it took to make it.
For instance, I knew that a ‘Sex on The Beach’ was made of one and a half ounces of vodka, half an ounce of peach Schnapps, two ounces of cranberry juice, and two ounces of orange juice.
If you’d ask me what ingredients had been in that when I’d started, I’d have blushed like a goddamned virgin, then stammered my way into ordering you a cocktail that I couldn’t even say the name of to the bartender on duty.
Now, though, as the pretty brunette with pale blue eyes snottily said, “You do know what that is, don’t you? Or have you never experienced something that amazing before?”
Then she’d proceeded to laugh in my face, and turn to hang all over the man that’d been in my bed only hours before, making me scream his name.
“Be nice, Naughty,” Sterling reprimanded gently.
My eyes nearly crossed as I turned on my heels and ordered a ‘Sex on the Beach’ from Zander Cole, our hottie firefighter bartender for the night.
Zander was new, having joined the fire department straight out of college.
He looked like a wide-eyed flower child with his long blonde hair, blasé attitude, and smile that he gave damn near everyone.
Only it seemed to widen ever so slightly when I was near.
And when I ordered the drink, he blushed scarlet, but nonetheless made the drink for me.
I glanced up when I heard Sterling laugh.
I was so mad that I could spit nails.
He’d been my Sterling only hours before.
But when he’d gotten here, and his ‘brothers’, as he called them, surrounded him, he’d completely done a one eighty.
They’d disappeared for well over an hour, and the minute he got back, he started sucking back shots like they were water.
He was on his eighth (yes I’d counted) shot.
“Here you go,” Zander said. “One Sex on the Beach.”
Giving Zander a smile, I grabbed the stupid cocktail glass from the bar counter and started to walk in the direction of Sterling.
Audie, or ‘Naughty’ as Sterling had been calling her all night, took the drink I’d set down in front of her and took a long swallow, pulling the straw out with her teeth in an erotic gesture.
I wanted to claw her eyes out, but the worst thing was the way Sterling wasn’t even acknowledging me.
And as I tried, yet again, to catch Sterling’s eye, I realized that I wasn’t going to.
Not tonight.
Sighing in frustration at Sterling and his ability to ignore everything about me, I finally decided that maybe it was a good time to go ahead and leave for the night.
My shift had ended over twenty minutes ago, but I’d stayed since the bar apparently wasn’t closing at its usual time.
But the longer I stayed watching Audie drape herself over Sterling, and Sterling not push her away, I realized that just maybe I’d made a mistake.
Maybe I should leave after all.
Maybe this could be something we’d be able to talk about tomorrow.
I could only hope that Sterling was aware of the woman that was trying to do just about anything to get his attention.
And I also hoped that he was faithful.
Not that I’d asked him to be.
We hadn’t done much talking when we were together this past night.
Yet, I’d thought a lot into it.
Maybe what was on his mind about us was something totally different than what I saw.
Walking back to the bar, I handed my tips and receipts to Silas who was standing at the end of the bar.
He had a bottle of Zigenbock in his hand, and he was staring out over his establishment with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction covering his face.
“I’m cashing out,” I told him.
He took my apron and nodded. “Mind if I get it back to you in the morning?”
I shook my head. “No, that’s fine. I’ll get it tomorrow after my shift at the gas station.”
He nodded. “Going home?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I have to be up early tomorrow. I have a lunch date.”
He smiled. “Sawyer told me you and Lily were having lunch”
I nodded. “Yeah, I seem to have created a monster friendship with the three of us.”
He laughed. “Well, I appreciate you bringing her into the fold. Seeing her so happy makes me happy.”
I grinned. “Later, gator.”
“After a while, crocodile.”
With that parting greeting, I headed out to my car, sighing heavily when I realized I didn’t bring it.
Motherfucker.
***
I started walking home.
But ended up catching a ride with Mr. Adams, of all people.
Why he was out so early/late in the day I didn’t know, but I was grateful.
“You shouldn’t be walking home in the dark, girl,” Mr. Adams said reproachfully.
I shrugged.
“Forgot my car today,” I said.
“How do you ‘forget your car?’” His old, grizzled voice asked with amusement.
I shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about it, how about that?”
He nodded. “Fair enough, but next time, just say that instead of lying. Because it sounds like you’re a shit liar, and there’s no point in even trying to lie if you suck that bad.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “Why are you out so late?”
“It’s early, not late. And I’m going to my fishing hole,” he answered.
I looked at the clock that now read three oh three A.M.
“This early?” I asked incredulously.
He nodded. “Gotta go sane for some bait fish, then I’m heading out on my boat to catch Big Blue.”
“Who’s Big Blue?” I asked. “And what’s a ‘sane?’”
He smiled at me.
“You ‘sane’ for bait fish by using a huge throw net. As for ‘blue’s, they’re catfish, darlin.’ Ain’t you ever he
ard of ‘em called ‘Blue’s’?” He asked.
I shook my head. “I’ve never been fishing before. In fact, I’ve never even had the desire to fish.”
He gave me a raised brow.
“Oh, really? Well it’s said that you should give everything a try once. You never know if you’ll like it,” he said.
I shrugged. “I don’t have anyone to go fishing with. I’ve spent my entire life inside. I wouldn’t know the first thing about fishing.”
“Ask that man of yours, I’m sure he knows how,” Mr. Adams said.
Pain shot through my chest as I thought about ‘that man’ of mine.
“I’m mad at him. Let’s not talk about him right now,” I said, hoping to change the subject.
Mr. Adams laughed. “What’d he do?”
“Ignored me all night and kept letting a blonde bimbo touch him constantly,” I muttered darkly.
Mr. Adams laughed. “You just said this morning that he was in the military. And it looked like he recently got home, too.”
“How do you know he recently got home?” I asked suspiciously.
He looked at me with his old, knowing eyes.
“Clocked him the minute he got out of that storage room. His eyes were on everything all at once, and he held himself differently. Not to mention he categorized every single sound in the place,” he answered. “When the ice machine kicked on in the back of the store, his eyes flashed there. Then you made a loud screeching sound as you drug the box of straws over the counter, causing him to flinch and look at you. His eyes kept bobbing back and forth to the door, to you, to me. Those actions only speak of a man that had to have those reactions to stay alive.”
I shrugged. “And what’s that got to do with anything I said?”
He gave me a droll look. “It may or may not have anything to do with ‘it.’ Whatever his problem may be. But you need to realize that things are going to be intensified. Reactions stronger, anger swifter, sorrow greater. Until he gets acclimated to being on US soil again, he’s going to act a lot differently than he did before.”
I thought about that for a long moment, and then decided that maybe he was right.
Whatever was said in the room beyond the bar tonight had affected him.
He’d been in a great mood earlier in the day.
Then all of a sudden he’d turned a one eighty, and hadn’t even looked at me all night except for covert glances when he thought I wasn’t looking.
Right To My Wrong (The Heroes of The Dixie Wardens MC Book 8) Page 8