Ok, so I’d actually trained David to give my clothes a double check before washing them. No one said the life of an apprentice was grand. Plus, you didn’t even want to know what happened to the dryer when you left the wrong type of talisman in your pocket.
The water was hot when I turned on the shower. That meant Rain had primed the hot water heater for me. I wondered if she was still in the shower down the hall right now, running her fingers across her soapy body.
Jesus, it really had been too long since I’d been with a woman. The last thing she needed was me in her life, and spending time thinking about that perfect body in the shower wasn’t helping me to disconnect. This was my time to sort my own shit before I had to walk back out there and break her heart.
Maybe I was giving myself too much credit. Rain was a strong woman, it probably took more than a few stolen glances to put her heart on the line. She definitely wasn’t the type to fall hard because you saved her. I’d run into a few of those in the past, and nothing was worse than an exorcist groupie. Maybe that wasn’t true; magic groupies probably took the cake. I never understood the need they felt to throw themselves at someone in the hopes that their magic would rub off on them.
Like I said before, magicians were a cagey bunch. We didn’t like to share. Not our secrets, not our talismans, and not our time. No amount of adoration was going to change that. As a whole, we were a standoffish bunch at the best of times.
The problem was you give someone a little taste of this life and all they want is more. It was an addiction, and one that if you enter into it with the wrong sort of mentality you end up dead. That was if you were lucky. If you weren’t so lucky, screwing up also got a bunch of other people killed.
David had the right kind of mentality for this kind of work. I was bringing him along but slowly. More slowly than he would have liked and a fuckton more slowly than he deserved over the last six months. That was going to change now. Having a little more power at my side seemed like a damned good idea after what had happened today. David was ready for it, I just had to let go of my own insecurities.
Most of the mud was gone now, but I was having trouble getting the last little bit out of my hair. Dirt had a way of doing that. You go to the beach for an afternoon, and you wind up brushing the sand out of your hair for a week.
What was with that? I mean, did God just sit back and laugh over that one? I know I wasn’t laughing right now as I kept working my fingers through my short hair trying to get the last few of those grainy bastards to fall out.
A few more gallons of water left me feeling like I had done the best I could. If there was any dirt left in my hair, it wasn’t my fault. Now, it almost felt like I was just trying to delay the inevitable, and maybe I was.
I got out of the shower and dried off quickly. It was time to pull off the bandaid and lay down the facts. This conversation was never easy, but it was worth it if it saved her life.
This didn’t seem like the time to get dressed up. There was a lot of cleaning to do downstairs, and these clothes weren’t going to last longer than a few hours anyway. So, I grabbed a pair of comfy cargo shorts and a t-shirt. The shirt was faded, but you could still just barely make out the skull and lightning bolt on it. Man, those guys really jammed. Maybe I’d get David to turn on some tunes while we cleaned up the lab.
On the way out of the closet I slipped into a pair of Birkenstocks. I normally didn’t wear shoes inside, but there was glass down there, and I didn’t want to end up with a shard through my foot like Rain had earlier. Now, if only there was some kind of magic for cleaning. Seemed like maybe the founders forgot something when they didn’t hand down that kind of knowledge. Especially when having these kinds of abilities meant your life was filled with destruction. Maybe that was our penance? We got to save people but were doomed to always be cleaning up the mess afterwards.
Rain’s voice floated through the house. It felt good to have the sound of a woman’s voice in this place again. It was needed. A house and man should never go too long without one. Rain and David were talking as I walked in. Not about today’s events, but about things that should be better left in the past. Rain didn’t need to know about Gabriella. I knew that I needed to take a step back from this, but my mouth was always one step ahead of my brain.
“I think it’s time for you to go,” I blurted out.
Rain turned around, and the look of hurt on her face almost made me crumble. That and she was only wearing one of my shirts. It came down to just above her knees, and she looked damned good in it.
“I don’t mind helping to clean up,” she said with a halfhearted smile. “David was telling me that most of the damage was because of me.”
Damn, I wanted her to stay. I really did, but if she stayed with me, she would wind up dead. After what happened with my last girlfriend… well let’s just say a relationship wasn’t going to happen.
“I think you’ll feel better after David gets you home. Being in a familiar environment can help with your recovery.”
The look on her face told me she wasn’t buying it. “Will I ever see you again?”
Not if you’re lucky. “Maybe?” I managed to mumble out. We both knew this was goodbye. “There’s just one last thing I have to ask. Do you remember anything about what happened?”
Rain put down the broom and dustpan she had been using and met my gaze. Her eyes burned with anger that I hadn’t seen from her before. “Why, are you going to use some of your hocus-pocus to wipe my memory?”
“Nothing like that.” I looked towards David for some help, but he just turned his back to me and kept cleaning. So it was going to be like that huh, David? Just when I was thinking of bringing you up a level or two. “I just need to know. This wasn’t your run of the mill kind of exorcism.”
“Well, I’m not your run of the mill kind of girl,” Rain said placing a hand on her hip and staring back at me defiantly.
“No, no you’re not.” Shit. Did I just say that out loud? Judging by the smirk that appeared on Rain’s face, I must have.
Damn it, this wasn’t going like I had planned it in the shower. I wanted her to stay, shit, maybe even needed her to, but I couldn’t put her life in that kind of danger just so I could have what I wanted. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to think of what to say next.
Words failed me completely, all I managed to get out was, “So, are you ready to go?”
Her smirk disappeared. She knew she wasn’t going to win this fight, at least not today. Rain moved towards me and stopped when we were only a foot apart. Her eyes met mine again, and they were searching for something.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one looking for answers.
“I heard a voice calling to me.”
Rain broke eye contact and looked down. She hugged her arms around herself. It was such a defenseless gesture that I wanted to hug her, but I held myself back.
“I heard a voice calling to me. At first, I was scared. I thought it was the demon again. That bitch was always whispering to me. Trying to get me to do horrible things, or playing on my insecurities. The voice had always faded after I refused to do what it asked, but not this voice it kept getting stronger.”
Rain looked up at me, and her eyes were full of tears. “This voice, it wasn’t the same. It was beautiful. There is no way I’ll ever be able to explain it right. It was like the heat of the summer’s sun on your skin after a long winter. It was as sweet as your first kiss. When the voice spoke, I felt like everything was going to be ok, that no matter what, nothing bad would ever happen to me again.”
She looked up at me, and her eyes pleaded for me to understand. I didn’t. Not yet, but I would. “What did it say?”
Rain paused for a moment. I could tell she wasn’t sure if she should share this with me or not. When she looked up, she was even more vulnerable. I didn’t know how that could be possible.
“It asked me to let it in, and I welcomed it into me.” She turned around and looked over the lab. “The voi
ce got closer and closer, and I felt as if I were being wrapped in a warm blanket. It was love, unconditional love.” She turned back towards me and tears were streaming down her face. “And then it was gone. Just like that, the best feeling I had ever experienced in my life was gone, and I woke up naked on top of the table.”
I could piece the rest of it together for myself. She had climbed off the table probably confused, and disoriented stepped on a piece of glass and then made her way to the kitchen where I had found her.
I’d never heard of a demon being able to wield that kind of power. No one had ever reported feeling love from one. Most people before getting possessed heard the promises and ignored the blackness in hopes of having whatever void they had in their life filled. But none of them had ever said they felt love. This was something else, maybe something from the team upstairs.
Rain looked so fragile I couldn’t stop myself from going to her. I pulled her in tightly against my chest and kissed the top of her head as she cried. It was going to be ok. As long as she stayed away from me, it was going to be ok.
We broke apart, and I almost buckled, but somehow, I managed to stick to my guns. David appeared next to us with her purse. That reminded me of the fact that she no longer had her Jeep. I was going to have to do something about that. Maybe that kind of a gesture would help make this right.
“I can take you home,” David said, handing her purse to her.
I took a few steps into the room leaving Rain behind me. “I’m sorry things can’t be different. I really am.”
“Look at me,” she pleaded.
I stood still, willing my shoulders to stay firm. It wouldn’t make this any easier if she could see just how hard this was for me. Rain had been exactly what I needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t worthless, that I still had a purpose in this life. It was a lonely purpose, but it was a calling that I couldn’t ignore.
I saw David wrap an arm around her shoulders and turn her away from me. “Come with me, Rain. It will be ok; I promise.”
They turned and started to leave. My heart felt heavy; it was almost as if someone close to me had died. This was it, my last chance to stop her from walking out of my life forever. I looked into the mirror and watched her go, helpless to stop it.
I heard Rain ask David. “Why is he like this?”
David’s soothing voice carried part of his answer back to me before it cut off. “When you spend your life fighting evil, it’s hard not to end up hollow inside. That’s why those of us that can have to care for him the way we do.”
I slumped to the ground. All of the will to keep fighting had rushed out of me. “Don’t waste your time with me. I’m just not worth it.”
I looked around the room and found just what I needed on the floor to my right. I popped the top off the bottle of vodka and relished the feeling as the warm liquid burned down my throat. This wouldn’t fix things, but at least it would move things in the right direction.
8
When David returned almost an hour later, I hadn’t moved from where I had fallen to my knees. I kept the vodka bottle clenched against my chest with a certain sense of desperation. David didn’t say a word, but the look on his face spoke volumes about what he felt about my pity party. I was pretty sure it was sympathy I read in his eyes, but it might have also carried a little exasperation as well.
Right now, I didn’t want to hear any shit about how I was letting him down. My life, my choices. David put his hand on the bottle, and to my surprise, I let him take it from me. He set it down on what remained of the table and looked me over again.
David’s voice came out with that weariness that only a parent knows after a trying day of taking care of wayward child. “Well, the shower got the mud off of you, but it didn’t do anything for the bags under your eyes.”
“Fuck you very much as well,” I mumbled.
My heart wasn’t in it enough for me to come up with a better comeback. I hadn’t spent any real time looking in the mirror since the incident and using magic usually left me drained. Using this much probably should have kept me in bed for weeks, and yet I felt good. At least my body felt good, my spirit, well, that was another thing entirely.
“Let’s get you off to bed so I can take care of this mess properly,” David said with a consoling voice.
David reached down to help me up, and I swatted his hand away. “I can make it upstairs by myself.”
Thankfully, I hadn’t imbibed enough of the vodka to make me a liar. Rising to my feet, I turned and headed towards the door. Stopping in the entryway, I felt my shoulders slump, I wasn’t ready for this, but if things were going to get worse, and I had a feeling they were, then David needed to be ready.
“Don’t spend too long cleaning this up. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
“And tell me why, pray tell, is that?” David snapped, finally showing some annoyance.
I knew David was going to hate this, but I kinda liked going to see Balthazar. He wasn’t your typical magic user. There was something dark about him, something edgy. “Tomorrow I have to make a stop, and we’ll have some errands to run before I can.”
David put one hand on his hip, looking exasperated. “Tell me you’re not going to see him, again.”
Oh, I was going to see him again alright, but first I had to round up a few tributes. That was the thing you needed when you dealt with Balthazar. The bastard didn’t take American Express. He only worked in trade, and how much it cost depended on the level of information that you wanted. I was pretty sure I’d have to go all out on this one. Whatever was coming to our sleepy little city, it was bigger than anything I had dealt with before.
“Just be ready in the morning, and don’t forget the fucking coffee,” I said, turning around.
“You can make your own damn coffee.”
Well, now he was just pouting. “Come on, it will be good practice for you.”
“Making coffee?” David asked sounding even more pissed off than he had a few moments ago.
“No, helping me with my acquisitions. It’s time you got to put that book knowledge into practical use.” I continued walking through the house, leaving David stunned behind me.
I’d been training him for years but had never taken him out in the field as anything but my driver. Whatever this darkness was that was coming, we had to be ready for it, and if that meant pressing David into service a little bit earlier than I was comfortable with, then so be it.
He had to learn if this life was really what he wanted to do. It was damn lonely, and almost no one knew about you risking your life to keep them safe. So, it was a thankless job, one that came with almost no benefits except the assurance of an early death by gruesome means.
I knew David could handle the magic, but I wasn’t so sure about the lifestyle. He was a social creature by nature. It worked in my favor to keep him around, because I hated spending time with a lot of people, especially if it meant I had to deal with their emotional leakage. I just wanted to show up, vanquish the demons, and get the hell out of there. Because of David, I could do that. I hoped after tomorrow he’d still be around.
There were a few items I’d been saving for my next meeting with Balthazar. If it was just any other case they would be enough, but the fucker would ask for the shirt off my back for this one. I’d spend the day calling in a few favors. Still, that wouldn’t be enough, by tomorrow afternoon we’d be getting our hands dirty.
Despite David’s words the night before, when I entered the kitchen in the morning he had a pot of coffee waiting for me. It looked about half full which meant David had already poured his and was probably trying to finish off whatever cleaning he could before we left. I hoped he had enough time to cover the windows with some tarps. It was going to rain again today; I could feel it. If it was going to pour, I’d prefer if the rain didn’t get inside of the house.
Taking a sip of my coffee, I took a step back and looked at the spot where Rain had been sitting naked on the counter
yesterday. God, I had fucked things up there. I couldn’t help myself with her. It wasn’t even the fact that she was naked that had drawn me in. It was how tough she was. All her clothes had been burned off, and the last thing she remembered was being at the diner, and there she was trying to remove a shard of glass the size of my finger out of her foot while balancing on one leg.
When she looked at me, my willpower crumbled into little itty-bitty bits. I should have run from that kitchen and found David as soon as I had seen her there. Instead, I let her draw me in with those long, sexy legs and flirty personality. There was almost a sense that she was a puzzle, a mystery that I needed to unlock. I sure wouldn’t have minded the chance to run my fingers against her tan skin to fit that puzzle together.
I shook my head clear and turned away from the spot I had been aimlessly staring at. None of that mattered now. I’d scuttled any chance of those feelings coming to fruition. At least that is what I continued to tell myself. She was better off without me anyway.
Oh well, at least the coffee was good. Even as I turned back towards the entrance to the kitchen, Rain came to the front of my mind. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about this, about her? Maybe today was going to be just what I needed to get Rain out of my head. Nothing like hunting up a few Mezzoloth to keep your mind off a love that could never be.
Not that she was even really interested anyway.
I wasn’t exactly a prize. I’d spent the last six months buried inside of a bottle. Shit, if it hadn’t been for me pulling the demon from her, she probably wouldn’t have noticed me. Rain sure as shit didn’t have a very high opinion of me when we climbed in her Jeep to go to Zonk’s.
Outside of this house and the car out front, I didn’t really own anything of worth. Well, at least not anything I could sell. The items I’d taken off the black market were never going to fall into the wrong hands, at least not if I could help it. So, when it came down to it, there really wasn’t a lot I could offer when it came to a relationship.
Possessed (Bozley Green Chronicles Book 1) Page 7