I climbed on the board and he walked us out until we were in waist-deep water. He hopped on the board, only we didn’t prepare to windsurf. He stayed on his stomach and paddled us out deeper.
“What’s going on?” I asked. When he looked back at me I saw fear. My blood turned cold.
Hayes
My heart split in two as I gazed at her. I wanted to get her alone, and this was the best I could do. Given the circumstances, I had to be careful not to alert Immy and Shay, her two guardians, to anything. I also had to report back to the FBI agent who would make contact by sundown, only hours away.
Here on the water, we were alone. No one could hear us, but they could see us. We had to keep body contact to a minimum. I had a feeling she might break down and cry, and that was why I was taking us farther from the shore. I needed to convince her I intended to keep her safe, no matter what. It was a promise I hoped to keep.
“Hayes, look at me. What’s going on?” Her voice was shaky. I stopped paddling and sat upright beside her. I’d turned us to face the vast expanse of water and not the shore where too many people lined the beach.
“I’m going to share something important with you. Something that won’t be easy to hear.” I took her hand in mine, craving to touch her in some way.
“Does this have to do with Mark? Did your friend from the FBI find something?” she asked, looking straight into my eyes. Her cerulean gaze had me undone. I hated to be the one who would cause her world to shatter. Deep down I knew it was her sick bastard of a husband who sucked her into his world, endangered her life and the life of her children, yet I had to deliver the bomb. To watch the turmoil build inside her, knowing there wasn’t a way to soften the blow. How did I tell the woman I loved her life was about to crash down on her? Fuck, I hadn’t slept a wink since yesterday. Not since realization dawned on me. She meant everything to me. It felt like I’d been waiting for her my whole life. Sitting in the middle of the ocean, I couldn’t confess my feelings. My responsibility was to alert her to the threat she was about to face.
“It has to do with Mark.” I paused. “I want you to know I’ll keep you safe. I’ll watch over you, Lily, and Liam to the best of my abilities. I won’t walk away, no matter what.” I looked into her eyes, hoping she knew my words bled only truth.
She pulled her hands out of my grasp as though she touched fire. “What’s going on? Spit it out now,” she insisted, and her soft blue eyes turned frigid.
“Mark comes from a family of criminals. The FBI has been following them for some time.” I paused as she gasped harshly but then continued because I knew what it’s like to need answers. “They’re involved with the drug trade, Natalia. Mark was involved in businesses that didn’t make money and living a low key life, his way of staying beneath the radar.” I watched as her mouth dropped open with disbelief.
“Holy shit. How? Why?” she mumbled.
“Mark’s brother Rafael has ties to a drug cartel in Mexico. He’s responsible for bringing drugs over the border. He launders money and has a good seventy people working under him. Mateo Nunez is a hitman,” I said, and the blood in my veins turned cold as a shiver slithered through my body. She looked pale. Too pale.
Tears burst from her eyes as her hands held her belly. “I’m going to be sick.” She leaned over the side of the board and retched into the water.
“Shit.” I reached for her hair, fisting it as she dry-heaved a few times. “Take it easy. Breathe.” I rubbed her back, and she sat back down.
“Oh lord. What am I going to do? I feel so stupid. So very stupid.” She cried into my shoulder, and I wanted to hold her tight, but I feared the move would draw attention.
“I’m staying in Florida until things boil over. I’m not going to leave you, beautiful. I promise.” I combed my fingers through her hair and let her cry. “The FBI is close to an arrest. They want to get into your house and search Mark’s files or anything else you feel will be of significance. They want you to tell them the best time of day to enter,” I explained.
“Hayes, Mateo had dinner at my house. He sat with my kids at our table and ate food I cooked.” She pulled away from me and sat on the board cross-legged. She suddenly seemed small and vulnerable.
“There is no way you could have known. Mark was trained from a young age to recreate himself. He’s a professional. You can’t question yourself. You were most likely targeted. An all-American girl, you come from a good family. You were exactly what he needed to cover his tracks.” I said anything to pull her out of the self-deprecation she must have been feeling. I hated to think she was grieving her brother and her world was falling apart while Mark preyed on her. Sick fuck that he was.
“He’s the father of my children. He’s a drug dealer. I-I . . . I can’t wrap my head around it. We . . . he . . . he doesn’t make money. I have to work my ass off. I’ve had such a difficult life and the things he must have done. The bad things he must be responsible for—” She continued to cry and heave.
“Natalia, no one can know what I just told you. The only reason I was told is because the FBI wants your help. They are only weeks away from an arrest. They want to put Mark and his family away for a very long time, but you can’t tell anyone. The FBI warned me that this is a matter of national security, and they won’t accept any breaches,” I said and watched as she shivered. I didn’t want to hold her because Shay might be watching. “You need to behave normally.” I knew that was a ridiculous request. Who would be able to behave normally after learning their husband was wanted by the FBI?
She tilted her head up to look at me. “Normal.” A garbled laugh escaped her.
“I know this is going to be hard. You can’t let Mark know that you know anything. You need to continue to act the way you’ve been acting so he doesn’t notice a change. Don’t become too friendly but don’t pull yourself away either. Trust me, I know this isn’t easy. It’s a few weeks, then he will be going to prison. He’ll be out of your life, and you and the kids will be free.”
She began rocking back and forth and nodding her head; my stomach was tied in knots. “No one can know about this. Not Immy and not Shay. Not your parents. No one, Natalia. I need you to understand that because it’s important. The FBI agent I met with will be contacting me in a few hours; they want to know if they have your help. And just so you know, you have the option of leaving now and not helping. The FBI can place you under witness protection.” Fuck, this was all too insane. I hated that I dropped this bomb on her. I feared her ability to cope with this incomprehensible stress.
“And what, never see my family again?” she asked, and her voice cracked. Her eyes were bloodshot. She was a bloody mess, and I felt helpless.
“I would come with you if you wanted,” I offered.
“You would leave your life and family behind forever and come with me? And do what exactly?” She swiped at her nose.
“I’d marry you. I’d make sure you were safe.” I placed an arm around her shoulder and her head leaned into my chest.
“Oh, Hayes,” she said, and that was all. I gave her some quiet to process.
“I’m not going anywhere. I said that at the beginning of this conversation for a reason. Consider me your bodyguard for the next few weeks.” I smiled, trying to lighten a dark situation.
Her lip tugged at one corner. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“I’m asking myself the same question about you.”
She closed her eyes and opened them. “I’ll help the FBI. I can’t run. I can’t be on Mark’s bad side. I’m terrified.” She looked at me and wrapped her arms around her torso.
“I want to hug you and kiss you and comfort you right now, but there are too many people around.”
“That means a lot.” She looked as white as a ghost, and I worried for her. Determination to keep her safe bleeding through my pores. I would sleep in my car the next few weeks close to her house. I’ve lived under worse circumstances in Afghanistan.
“This was the best
I could do privacy wise. The FBI wants to make sure we’re careful. I’m pretty sure they’re on the beach watching us now.”
“This is so messed up.” She shook her head.
“Everything is going to be okay. I know things seem dark now, but I believe everything happens for a reason.” I forced a smile because she was drowning. I could see it. “You are strong inside here.” I pointed to her chest. “You’ve been strong for your children for a long time now. Push forward a little more, for them. Your internal strength was one of the first things I noticed about you.”
She squinted against the sun. “You really think so?” She needed my reassurance.
“I do. You’re going to be okay. When this is all said and done you will become a veterinarian. You can fulfill all your dreams.” I wanted her to see there was light at the end of this very dark tunnel.
“And you? I don’t want to be responsible for you missing school.” She frowned.
“Don’t worry. I’ll write a letter or something saying I’ve fallen ill here in Florida. I can always work through the summer to finish. Right now, you are my priority.” I gave her shoulder a quick squeeze.
She had tears in her eyes when she nodded and stared into my eyes. My gut twisted. “I would never make it through this without you.”
“You’re wrong. I suspect you would do just fine without me here. You’ve made it this far without me, and I’m guessing life hasn’t been a walk in the park.” I had to boost her up and make her believe in herself. Make her see what I always saw.
“I want to believe it.”
“We should get back. Is it okay if we windsurf a little? I don’t want it to look like I brought you out here just to talk.”
“I’m shaking,” she admitted.
“Then lean into me. Remember what I told you a long time ago . . . it’s okay to lean on others when you need help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Not when I’m around.”
Her lips turned down and her hand came up and traced my lips. “Thank you.” We slowly stood on the board. Her in front of me just like the first time I took her out on the water in what seemed a lifetime ago. She held on to the sail. Her body leaned so her back pressed to my chest as we sailed. The warm air brushed our cheeks. It was a brief reprieve from the darkness. It also showed me she trusted me and that meant the world to me, especially after everything she’d been through. I just hoped I could live up to my promise to protect her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Natalia
Three days ago, I had been just another woman stuck in a bad marriage. Maybe stuck was the wrong word because it had been a choice to stay with Mark. I believed I could help him. It had taken me a long time to understand my husband wasn’t a good man. Time had taught me what to expect and still I had wanted to stay for the sake of my children—for the sake of keeping our family unit together. And it wasn’t that I was old fashioned…okay maybe I was a little old fashioned but I knew enough kids whose parents divorced while I was growing up, and it seemed they all craved a sense of family. Even a friend in college back in LA admitted to me one drunken night that she wished her parents would get back together. Those little snippets of time, those bits of information, told me I wasn’t way off base staying in a marriage that left me lonely. I always liked to look at the big picture. I always believed in putting my children’s needs before my own . . . where would my selflessness end? What if Mark wasn’t a drug dealer on the FBI’s most wanted list?
I knew in my gut I would have left regardless, because I couldn’t live with him anymore. I wouldn’t be able to live with the version of myself that I had become in our marriage. Did it make me weak that it had taken finding another man for those realizations to kick in? It hadn’t made me weak, because I learned I wasn’t weak.
With my back pressed figuratively against a wall, I behaved normally when Mark came home from work. After Hayes had broken the news to me about who Mark truly was, I came home and grilled chicken and roasted potatoes in the oven because that is what I would have done on a regular day.
When Mark walked into the house after eight o’clock as he usually did, I served him the food like a good wife, thankful that when he went to bed he no longer tried to make love to me. And then it hit me. Mark was stuck too. He didn’t want me, yet he needed to stay married to me to keep the façade of a humble life. My anger coursed through my veins like poison, destroying my insides. How had I stayed with such a sick selfish man for so long? What the hell was I thinking? That anger ignited a light inside me, and when Hayes called while I was at my father’s clinic, I left the exam room, picked up the phone, and told him after nine thirty would be a perfect time for the FBI to enter my home.
I was grateful to Hayes for being the middle person; I didn’t want to deal with them directly. The FBI told Hayes they would be going through our things. Every nook and cranny would be checked. It was an eerie feeling, envisioning criminal investigators entering my home and looking through all my things, but then again I’d floated through these last few days enveloped in anger, impatiently waiting for Mark to be arrested.
Now I was tucked safely away in the staffroom at my dad’s clinic on my ten minute break, knowing they were in my house. I prayed they would find what they needed. Hayes didn’t make contact today. It was better he didn’t.
My phone buzzed. Mark’s name came up on the screen. My heart galloped in my chest. Why was he texting me? He stopped daily contact a long time ago.
Mark: Can you meet me at home? I think we need to talk.
My pulse ricochet. Why today of all days did he want to talk?
I called Hayes. I didn’t have him down as a contact on my phone; I had to dial his number with shaky hands.
“Natalia. What’s wrong?” He answered after one ring.
He knew if I was calling, something must be wrong.
“Mark sent me a text message saying he wants to talk. He never texts me. Why today? Why today of all days?” I fought to keep my cool, but anxiety took hold like a noose.
“Shite, okay. Let me call you back. Stay where you are, and don’t answer him until you hear from me,” he said urgently.
“Okay,” I replied, and the line cut. I figured he was dialing his contact at the FBI.
I tried to sit on a chair and wait for his call, but my nerves were so bad both my legs were bouncing up and down. I worried one of the other assistants would walk in and see me like this. Even worse, my father could walk in and sense my nerves.
My phone rang. “Hello.”
“Natalia, he’s in South Beach. You don’t need to worry. The FBI is watching him. Just reply and tell him you can’t take off work and that you will talk later at home,” he said as if this conversation was normal.
“I’m scared.” My voice shook.
“I know. It’s going to be okay. I’m not far from you, if you need me just call,” he said.
“Where are you?” My brows furrowed.
“At the coffee place a few doors down from your father’s clinic,” he answered, and with those words I took what felt like my first breath all morning.
“Lily stay close to the curb,” I called out to my daughter, who was riding her two-wheeler bike almost in the middle of the road. I was shaking like a leaf, but the kids wanted to bike ride, and I wanted them to feel like their life was normal. At least for the next few weeks until they found out the truth about their father. I had been able to hide it from them, but what would I tell them? Where did daddy suddenly go? Telling them he went to prison would have a negative impact on their lives. What if Mark’s arrest made the six o’clock news? All our friends would be talking about him, about us. My poor children. A part of me wanted to take the offer of the FBI and join witness protection just to guard them from the truth. I stayed close to Liam, since he was still learning to balance on two wheels. We made it past our street and continued down another street to the park. I planned to let the kids have a break since it was only five o’clock. But when I reached the end
of the street, I noticed Mark’s van driving up. My stomach sank. Why was he home early today? He barely ever made it home this early. He spotted us and stopped the van.
“Hey, guys.” He smiled wide. “How about you wait for your dad? I want to spend some time with my kids and my wife.” He glared at me when he said the word wife and something went off inside my body. He knows. He knows the FBI was here today. No, that can’t be. It isn’t possible. He would have no way of knowing. This is a coincidence. A simple coincidence.
“That sounds great. We’ll wait for you to park the car.” I forced a smile that showed my teeth.
“Kay, one sec.” He gave the kids a cheeky grin and eyed me again. No, no, no. Something was wrong. He may have kept secrets and lied to me, but there were certain facial features I could read on him. I always knew when his anger was rising, and it was fucking flying high.
I shot Hayes a text. I didn’t see his rental car anywhere in sight but hopefully he was staying low key.
Me: Mark is home from work early. Something is off with him. I think you should call Higgins.
I typed frantically. Higgins was the FBI agent assigned to Mark’s case years ago. After pressing send, I erased the message ten seconds later when it showed up as read. My heart beat too fast, but I took some reassurance that we were outside where neighbors were cutting their lawn and kids played on the street.
“Hey, guys.” Mark jogged up to us. He’d discarded his suit jacket and his brand name dress shirt was rolled up to his forearms. I felt like even more of an idiot. In my head I thought he got lucky at the outlets like he always said. Now I realized his clothes must be the seasonal fashion. Stupid, Natalia. Can’t see what was right in front of her. My mom’s voice rang in my ears. She was a successful businesswoman and she saw me as what? A loser. Someone with potential who let her life go down the drain.
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