Lucky finally backed away, and even though the kid took off running as well, Lucky picked up the bottle and threw it against the brick wall. It shattered and sent what was left of the whiskey and the glass scattering around them.
She led him away from the kissing couple, who still hadn’t stopped to draw breath despite the disturbance, and took him to a large oak. Not very private, but it was the best she could do. Suddenly, his head and back went against the tree, and his breath started gusting.
“Are you having a panic attack?” she asked.
Lucky shook his head. But didn’t say anything else. Cassie decided just to wait him out because whatever was going on had gotten to him.
“I didn’t stop him,” Lucky finally mumbled.
“But you did. The boy was drinking, and...”
This wasn’t about that boy. This wasn’t about tonight. This was about his parents.
“The teenager who killed your mom and dad had been drinking,” she said.
Well, according to the rumors he had been anyway. Cassie seemed to remember reading in the paper that he had a blood alcohol level that had exceeded the legal limit. Added to that, he hadn’t even been old enough to drink.
“Brian Ducal,” he said.
Yes, that was the boy’s name. He’d been alone in his car and had swerved and hit Lucky’s parents’ vehicle in a fatal head-on collision. The only survivor had been Claire, who had been riding in the backseat because Lucky’s parents had given her a ride home from a ball game. Cassie was away at college at the time, but she’d heard plenty about it from Dixie Mae.
“I saw Brian that night,” Lucky continued a moment later. “He was drinking, and I was too busy making out with a girl to take the time to stop him.”
Oh, God.
“I didn’t stop him,” Lucky repeated. He jerked away from the tree. Away from her, too. “I have to go. Please stay here with Mackenzie and make sure she gets home all right.”
Lucky didn’t give her a chance to say anything. Not that there was anything she could say that would help him right now.
Cassie just stood there and watched as Lucky walked away.
* * *
THE BULL RIDE hadn’t worked for him. Not that Lucky had expected a good crap-slinging to erase his bad mood, but a ride usually jacked up his adrenaline enough for him to nudge the old memories into the back of his head.
Not tonight, though.
Even the Angus had seemed confused as to why Lucky was leading him into a gate this time of night. Hell, so had the ranch hand. Hank Granger hadn’t complained, not out loud anyway, but then the man had worked for the McCords for nearly twenty years. He knew plenty of the things Lucky had done didn’t make sense. After all, Lucky hadn’t gotten the label of screwup by doing nothing.
Well, except for the nothing he’d done the night of his parents’ death.
No nighttime bull ride was going to erase that.
Lucky heard the footsteps and knew it was Cassie before he even looked over his shoulder. He got that funny feeling in his stomach again, the one he always got when he saw her, but tonight neither the funny feeling nor Cassie herself were going to help.
Hank mumbled a good-night and said something else that Lucky didn’t catch before he ambled off toward the guest cottage that he’d called home for the past decade.
“Did the ride help?” Cassie asked. She joined him at the fence where he was still watching the bull. The bull was watching him, too, and even though Lucky knew he was projecting, he thought the Angus was calling him an asshole.
Lucky didn’t answer her question but instead went with one of his own. “Did Mackenzie have fun?”
“I think so. I think she floated up the stairs to her bedroom.”
Yeah, he’d seen the light come on in her room, so he figured she was back safe and sound. Safe and sound for two more nights anyway. After the wedding the day after tomorrow, the girls would be heading to Phoenix.
“I’m sorry about ditching you at the civic center,” he said.
But Cassie waved him off. “Davy arrested a couple of the boys. Personally, I was surprised he was able to catch up with them, but he did.”
Good. Maybe that would teach them a lesson about underage drinking. Of course, Lucky had gotten arrested for it once, and it hadn’t stopped him, but what he’d never done was drink and drive. Brian Ducal had taught him that lesson quite well.
Cassie’s phone buzzed, but she didn’t even take it from her pocket to look at the screen. “It’ll be from my agent, Andrew or someone else I don’t want to talk to.”
“Your agent?”
“He’ll want to tell me that my career is over.”
Hell. This wasn’t making things better. “Is it?”
She shrugged. “Probably. At least my old career is finished. I doubt anyone will be calling me for TV appearances, but I guess I’ll just do something else. Like you will when you get tired of having your vertebrae snapped and popped by a two-thousand-pound bull.” Cassie paused. “Is that bull looking at us?”
“Yep. I think he’s mad because I’ve kept him up past his bedtime.”
She smiled. It was short-lived, though, because her phone buzzed again.
“Maybe you should at least see who it is,” he suggested.
“Nope. The only person I want to talk to tonight is you.”
It was going to be a short conversation, then, because Lucky didn’t have a clue what to say. Or do. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get past this,” he admitted.
Cassie made a sound of understanding. “I don’t think you do. Sorry. I believe the scab just stays over the wound until something or somebody picks at it. Like tonight. That kid picked at it, and you bled all over again.”
“Bled all over you,” Lucky corrected. “I shouldn’t have dumped that on you.”
“I dumped my panic attacks on you. I poured my heart out to you about Hannah. Think of this as a tit for tat.”
Ever since he’d been a horny teenager, the expression had always made him smile. Lowbrow humor usually did. But even that wasn’t working tonight.
“So, how are you getting past Hannah?” he asked. And it wasn’t just Dixie Mae’s letter that had prompted him to ask. Lucky was hoping Cassie had a magic pill for this, or had at least figured out a way to stop her panic attacks.
“By trying to remember the good parts. Not that there were a lot of good parts with Hannah, but I had them with other clients. I think I helped some people. I just didn’t help her. I don’t believe I can ever completely forgive myself for what happened, but I’m finding some peace with it. I’m accepting that it wasn’t totally my fault.”
Peace. That was a good thing to have. Lucky was still searching for it in a couple areas of his life. Especially when it came to his parents. But like Cassie, he was getting there. Some of that soul-crushing guilt was easing up. Finally.
“And the panic attacks?” he asked.
“I haven’t had one in weeks. If they return, I’ll deal with them. Deal with my father, too. I would like for things to be different between us, but there’s no fixing it.”
No. Assholes weren’t fixable, and Mason-Dixon was the king of assholes.
“So in the grand scheme of things,” Cassie continued, “I failed with Hannah. I can never undo it, but I have some little dots of success surrounding it.”
“I’ve failed at a lot more than saving my parents,” he confessed.
“You mean your long string of lovers? Or maybe trying to push Logan out of your life?” she asked, causing him to frown.
He’d at least expected her to sugarcoat some bullshit. Apparently not. He was just going to get the shit tonight. And he deserved it.
Cassie patted his arm. “Lucky, you’re not a screwup. You helped Dixie Mae build a succes
sful business. You’ve won more rodeo buckles than you can wear in a lifetime.”
Lucky dismissed both of those. “I didn’t stay around here after my folks were killed. I left and allowed Logan to put everything on his shoulders.”
“Logan wanted it on his shoulders. And besides, you’re entitled to the life you want to lead. You didn’t call Riley a screwup when he left to go into the Air Force. You don’t call your sister a screwup, and she’s off in Florida going to law school.”
“They don’t get drunk and sleep around,” he pointed out.
Another sound of agreement from her. “It’s because you’re hotter than they are. Though Riley is pretty hot. I’d probably think Anna was hot, too, if I were a guy.”
That got him to smile. A little. “Logan and I are identical twins,” he pointed out.
“Yes, he’s hot, too,” she admitted. “It’s just a burden you McCord brothers have to bear. But you got the looks and the charisma. It makes it easier to sleep around when women are throwing themselves at you.”
Lucky wished he could be flattered by her description of him. “I could have dodged them. I didn’t.” Not many of them anyway. He looked at her. “You dodged me, though.”
Cassie nodded. “Because I thought you’d break my heart.”
She leaned in, kissed him. Not the hungry “I want you now” kind of kiss that led to sex. This was, well, sweet. And it sent up red flares in his head. Because it was exactly the kind of kiss that Lucky had spent his adult years avoiding.
The kind of kiss that meant something.
Lucky didn’t move into the kiss. Definitely didn’t deepen it because it already felt way too deep as it was.
“And now?” he asked when she pulled back and met his gaze. “Do you still think I’ll break your heart?”
“No.” Cassie smiled. The deep kind of smile that meant something, too. “I know you will. And I’m going to let you do it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
THERE WAS EXCITED chatter downstairs. People were working hard to pull everything together for Riley and Claire’s wedding, which would happen in less than twenty-four hours. Everyone was thrilled.
Including Cassie.
Thrilled for Claire and Riley anyway, but that’s where her joy ended.
The heart-to-heart she’d had with Lucky the night before had left her raw—and wanting more. She’d nearly stayed there by the corral. A few more kisses and it would have led them straight to bed.
Or rather to the hayloft since it was closer.
But Cassie hadn’t stayed. She’d shielded her heart for one more night. It wouldn’t help, of course, because the broken heart was inevitable. Even if she stayed in Spring Hill and ditched her entire life in LA, that didn’t mean she would get Lucky. He wasn’t exactly the type of man to settle down with one woman. And she wasn’t exactly the marrying sort, either. Not after living through the disastrous relationship that her parents had called a marriage. And not after seeing the failed marriages of 90 percent of her clients. No, marriage was messy and painful and not for her.
She’d just have to deal with a broken heart, that’s all.
Of course, the broken heart wouldn’t just be because of Lucky. Losing Mia and Mackenzie would add to it. Thankfully, the girls hadn’t seemed that sad about leaving. Of course, with the excitement of the wedding, maybe they hadn’t had time to consider it. And wouldn’t for a while. When Cassie had seen them last, they’d been in the sunroom with Livvy, helping her decorate.
There was a knock at her bedroom door, and like all the phone calls she’d been getting, Cassie nearly didn’t answer it. Not until she realized it could be one of the girls. But it wasn’t. It was Claire. Or least she thought it was. It was a woman holding a plastic garment bag.
“Can I put my wedding dress in your room?” she asked. Definitely Claire.
“Of course.” Cassie stepped back so that Claire could squeeze the dress inside.
“Thanks. Livvy’s taken over Anna’s room with the rest of the decorations, and I don’t have anyplace else to stash this dress where Riley won’t see it. He’ll peek if he gets the chance.”
“Can I peek?” Lucky asked.
Cassie hadn’t even seen him behind Claire, but then it was hard to see much of anything because of the dress.
“No peeking for you, either,” Claire insisted, and she dropped a kiss on Lucky’s cheek. Dropped one on Cassie’s, too, surprising her. “Livvy got carried away with the whole idea of a fairy-tale wedding.”
Yes, but Cassie was pretty sure Claire was loving every second of it. Claire draped the dress over a reading chair in the corner of the room and turned back around to face them. Cassie wasn’t sure exactly what Claire saw in their expressions, but it had her frowning.
“Is, uh, everything okay between you two?” she asked.
Cassie glanced at Lucky to see how he was going to answer that. He didn’t.
“I mean, what with the girls leaving soon,” Claire added.
Cassie thought the quick breath that Lucky took was one of relief. “It’s tough,” Cassie settled for saying.
“Yeah.” And that’s all Lucky said for several moments. “I hadn’t expected to feel this ache in my heart.”
Claire nodded, took a quick breath of her own. “It’ll be a bittersweet day. Hopefully more sweet than bitter, but I think we’ll all be remembering the people who aren’t here. My grandmother, for instance.”
Cassie knew that it’d been less than a year since Claire had lost the grandmother who’d raised her, and from all accounts they’d been very close. Bittersweet indeed.
“I was hoping you’d give me away,” Claire said, and when she looked at Lucky, there were tears watering her eyes. “I know I’m late asking. And that the wedding’s so informal what with there not even being an aisle—”
“Of course I’ll do it.”
Claire’s eyes watered more, and heck, now Cassie was feeling all teary and sentimental.
“I figured you’d want Logan,” Lucky added.
Claire managed a smile. “I’ve always been a lot closer to you than Logan. And when you look at me, I’ve never seen any blame in your eyes. Not ever.”
Lucky shook his head. Cassie also didn’t understand.
“Because of your parents,” Claire said.
Lucky just gave her a blank look.
“See?” Claire said as if that proved her point. “You didn’t even think to be mad. But sometimes when Logan looks at me, I believe he blames me for what happened.”
“What?” Cassie blurted out, though this was too personal a conversation for her to be a part of. She should just step out of the room and let them finish. But she didn’t. Her feet seemed glued in place.
“Claire.” Lucky put his arm around her, pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. “That wasn’t your fault.”
She shook her head. “Your folks offered me the ride home from the game because it was raining, but I forgot my clarinet in the band hall and had to go back for it. If I’d left with them right away, or if they’d never waited to give me a ride, then they wouldn’t have been on that part of the road at the exact second of the crash.”
Lucky kissed her hair again. “That wasn’t your fault,” he repeated.
Claire nodded, pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. “See? You never blamed me. Riley, neither. But he blamed himself. He thinks if he hadn’t been making out with Misty—” she paused, rolled her eyes at the mention of Riley’s old flame “—then he might have stopped it somehow.”
Cassie hoped all of this was sinking in. In a town the size of Spring Hill, every single person had probably thought they could have done something to stop them from dying in the accident. Not just his parents but the other driver, too.
“Sorry about
that.” Claire wiped away more tears. “Talk about bringing up the worst subject possible. Anyway, thanks for agreeing to give me away.” She brushed another kiss on his cheek and walked out.
Lucky didn’t say anything, and Cassie wanted to give him some time to absorb all that. And hopefully connect the dots. But her darn phone buzzed again, and when she saw her father’s name on the screen, she figured she should take it.
“I’ll take this in the hall,” she said, moving to do just that. Not that she wanted to talk to him, but it would give Lucky some privacy to think about what Claire had said.
“What do you want?” Cassie greeted when she answered.
“Well, good morning to you, daughter of mine.” Mason-Dixon’s tone was just as “friendly” as hers. “I thought you’d like to know that I accepted the offer you made to Davy. I’ll take fifty grand for the cats. Transfer the money to me today, and Bernie will give you the ownership papers. They’ve already been drawn up.”
Fifty grand probably seemed like a lot to most people for three cats, but at least this would put an end to something that had been very important to Dixie Mae. “You’ll have your money as soon as I can arrange it. I’ll have the funds sent to Bernie’s office.”
She hung up so she could call her investment manager and have him do a wire transfer ASAP.
“I can pay for the cats,” Lucky offered when she finished the call.
He’d obviously heard her conversation, which meant he hadn’t been using the time to think. Or maybe he had. He looked a lot more relaxed than he had in days.
Lucky reached for her, easing her to him, and Cassie readied herself for a kiss. One of those scalding-hot ones that he was so good at giving. But the raised voices downstairs stopped him.
“Alice?” Lucky questioned.
Cassie turned her ear toward the voices and realized it was indeed Alice. And that the woman’s voice was indeed raised.
“Cassie! Lucky!” Alice shouted. “I need to talk to both of you right now.”
Even without that demand tacked on, Cassie knew something was terribly wrong. They hurried down the stairs and found the woman in the foyer. Della was there, too, along with the florist and two other people who were moving furniture out of the living room.
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