Don’t Work Stupid, Coach Yourself
40 Things Managers Won’t Tell You
A Step by Step Guide to Coach Yourself
Coaching for Success Series
by Mark A. Baggesen
Title: Don’t Work Stupid, Coach Yourself
Subtitle: 40 Things Managers Won’t Tell You–A Step by Step Guide to Coach Yourself
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Cover designed by Romana Bovan. Contact/Portfolio: 99designs.com/profiles/246674
Copyright 2019, Mark A. Baggesen, All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the author. You must not circulate this book in any format.
ASIN: B07Q5DN87N
Find Mark A. Baggesen at:
https://coachyourselfbooks.com
Dedication
May you be more successful than you dreamed possible.
Table of Contents
Preface
Chapter 1: Where Have You Been?
Chapter 2: Coaching Yourself Lesson 1: Carefully Choose Role Models
Chapter 3: The Right Questions Lesson 2: Ask the Right Questions
Chapter 4: The Right Decisions Lesson 4: Improve Your Methods for Decision Making
Chapter 5: Perform a SWOT Analysis Lesson 5: Understand Your Strengths and Opportunities
Chapter 6: Sincere Feedback Lesson 6: Ask Colleagues for Sincere Feedback
Chapter 7: No Substitute For Excellent Planning Lesson 7: You Must Plan Out Your Career Now!
Lesson 8: Understand Professional Career Tracks
Chapter 8: Basic Survival Skills for Business Lesson 9: Be Willing to Pay the Price
Lesson 10: Preparation
Lesson 11: No Excuses
Lesson 12: Build Trust
Lesson 13: Become a Specialist
Lesson 14: Under Promise, Over Deliver
Lesson 15: One Hour A Day: Continuous Learning
Lesson 16: Read-Think-Do
Lesson 17: Money
Lesson 18: Politics and Religion
Lesson 19: Dating People You Work With (Co-Workers)
Lesson 20: The Caffeine Effect
Lesson 21: Most Powerful Person in Room
Lesson 22: Know How vs. Know Who
Chapter 9: People & Their Behaviors at Work Lesson 23: People Create Problems
Lesson 24: Be the Best Liked Programmer
Lesson 25: Social Animals and Alcohol
Lesson 26: Safe Zones and People’s Time
Lesson 27: What to Talk About
Lesson 28: How You Dress
Lesson 29: Setting Behavior Boundaries
Lesson 30: Language
Lesson 31: Inspect, Don't Expect
Lesson 32: First Seek to Understand
Lesson 33: Human Resources Real Purpose
Chapter 10: Managing Your Manager Lesson 34: You Must Manage Your Manager
Lesson 35: No Surprises
Lesson 36: Warn Them as Soon as You Can
Lesson 37: Make it Easy for Them
Lesson 38: Create a Drama-Free Zone
Lesson 39: What You Say You Will Do
Lesson 40: Be Reliable and Trustworthy
Lesson 41: Always Make Them Look Good
Lesson 42: With Problems Have Solutions
Chapter Bonus: Long Term Success Lesson 43: Build Your Brand and Reputation
Lesson 44: Build a Work Record and Chronology
Lesson 45: Keep Track of Your Accomplishments
Lesson 46: Create and Maintain a Portfolio
Lesson 47: Create and Update Your Resume
Lesson 48: Build Your Network
Preface
“The biggest difference is in the leadership. It was better for us. We had more coaches and mentors to help us. A lot of the younger players today suffer from a lack of direction.”
~ Isaiah Thomas
Today’s Workplace
Everyone knows that college is great for mental development, but it doesn't prepare one for the workplace. The only way for you to gain the skills to succeed is by learning from others, reading and coaching yourself consistently until you are successful. This book will guide you through that progress and provide dozens of additional resources for your development and reference.
The workplace differs greatly from 30 years ago. With the elimination of middle management in Corporate America, employees don't have the coaches or mentors that previous generations had available to them. They expect employees to do more with less because industry expected the computer to reduce work. In reality, it only reduced the number of workers–there is still a lot of work! Combine that and the lack of coaches and mentors and its easy to understand why employees today are at a huge disadvantage.
Coaches and Mentors
A coach or mentor is a trusted adviser or counselor. I have been one of those for about 25 years for people of diverse culture backgrounds from across the globe, those working face to face, those working remote, onshore and offshore for both professional and personal development.
I have to imagine that if I were now in my 20s or 30s, I would ask these questions:
How can I progress in my career and move to new levels of success with no road map?
Other people have had great careers why aren’t they sharing what they know and paying it forward?
Why can’t I get that promotion?
Is this workplace all there is?
This book will save you from having to learn a lot of lessons the hard way. I say that because I will teach you how to coach yourself.
About Me and this Book
I have been in middle and senior management for the last 25 years for Fortune 500 companies. During that time, it has been my privilege to manage and mentor dozens of people. I am an expert at turning chaos into success, recovering failed technology projects and complex problem solving. My work is my play and I enjoy it.
I wrote this book because my time here is finite. Each year seems to pass faster than the last. The only way to multiply myself through others is with this book. This is my way to pay it forward. I hope to help many people and maybe even create legions of new coaches and mentors. The price of this book is very modest. I have done that with a purpose: I want to make it affordable to all.
If this book is helpful to you, maybe when you are successful and older, you will mentor deserving younger people, who will mentor others, who will mentor others. This will start a cycle of goodwill and knowledge that will outlive you, me and all those you help.
Preparation
Consider using a notebook
to write your answers to all the questions in this book. It could be a composition book or a loose-leaf notebook. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you answer all questions honestly and fully. This is the only way that this book will be helpful for you.
You can read this book without a notebook. Long term though if you want to maximize this book’s effectiveness for your career and life consider using a notebook.
I have a gift for you: A free collection of worksheets as well as a list of all online resources with hyperlinks mentioned in this book. Download free PDF Files
Print out the worksheet papers and use those as needed. Click on the resource links in the provided PDF file, to access dozens of other resources.
I recommend that you read this whole book through first (in a few days' time). Then go back and work through each chapter (in a few weeks). Allow yourself time and space to think about what you have read. Then answer the questions meaningfully. This is for you. You are worth the time!
Chapter 1: Where Have You Been?
“The Past is but the past of a beginning.”
~ H. G. Wells
This chapter requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. It is important to take stock in what you have done and where you have been in the past. For each question, take a few minutes to think about the answer and write it down.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Start by asking yourself these questions:
Am I now where I thought I would be 5 or 10 years ago?
Am I where I wanted to be in my career and life?
If the answer is yes: Outstanding! Congratulations!
If the answer is no that’s okay. But it’s important to look at this. Ask yourself the following questions and write the answers:
What did I want to be 5 or 10 years ago?
What did I try to achieve that?
Did I have a cohesive, well thought out plan? If, yes, what kept me from fulfilling that plan?
Do I have any regrets about where I am in my life and career today?
What would I do differently if I had the chance for a do-over?
The Past is the Past
The previous questions may evoke strong emotions in you. This is good! The purpose of this exercise isn't to “beat yourself up.” The purpose is to give you insight into how fast life moves and that time waits for no one. That said, the past is the past and we can't do anything about it–it's done, finished, unchangeable, kaput, over. So, let it go. Your future will be fantastic!
Make a commitment to yourself right now. Commit 100% to making the next 10 years, a world of YOUR MAKING.
You can achieve all you want in your life and career. Begin by understanding that every day is a gift, and it is your decision how you use it. You can use it with purpose, or you can waste it and just let things happen. Once the day is over, it’s over.
Commit to Yourself
Write this commitment statement (or one like it) on a blank piece of paper, sign and date it or use the free worksheet from the website. Download free PDF Files.
____________________________________________________________
Today, I totally commit to making the next 10 years, a future of MY MAKING.
I can do ANYTHING–I know that now.
I will use every day as if it were my last.
I understand that every new day is one more day than given to someone else.
I will create a plan for my future.
I will follow that plan so in 10 years, I will be where I want to be.
I will create my destiny!
Signed,
____________________________________________________________
Put your signed statement on a wall or refrigerator–anywhere you will see it every day.
Summary
The past is the past, leave it there. This is your time. Use each day to its maximum.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Have I taken the time to honestly and fully answer this chapter’s questions?
Am I able to let go of the past and move forward? If not, why not?
Is there anything else that's now holding me back? If yes, what is it and what can I do about it?
Additional Resources
PsychCentral.com – “Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On”
HuffPost.com – “When You're Living in the Past”
BecomingMinimalist.com – “Don’t Forget the Past. Learn from It.”
Psychology Today – “3 Definitions of Mindfulness That Might Surprise You”
Headspace.com – an inexpensive service that uses a Smartphone app to help people maximize mindfulness, inner peace, and happiness.
Chapter 2: Coaching Yourself
If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride and never quit, you'll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.
~ Bear Bryant
You Must Learn to Coach Yourself
What, I have to coach myself?
How the heck do I do that?
How do I know, what I don't know?
Often the only person you will depend on is yourself. From the time you leave the protection of your parents, until the end of your life, you have the power to be your best friend or worst enemy. What you think about yourself will have a lot to do with how successful you become in life.
Yes, there will be friends and colleagues along the way, but ultimately it is up to you to make your life and career what you want–no one will do that for you. Unless you are lucky enough to fall into a huge pile of money, you must build a career that can support you and your family to have the life you want and deserve.
Well-meaning friends sometimes will help you, but won't have the time or skills to be helpful. A former professor of mine from graduate school once said of colleagues: “Colleagues won’t do much for you, anyway. But God help you if you make an enemy of one of them–they will spend the rest of their career trying to ruin yours.” (Another reason to be nice to colleagues).
You should learn how to coach yourself. This book will show you how to do it. Once you are successful and on your path, if you can coach others and pay it forward, bonus–you will create a legacy.
Lesson 1: Carefully Choose Role Models
The first place to start is by observing and interacting with people around you. Specifically, people that are older, more mature or smarter than yourself. You can learn so much from surrounding yourself with people that are better or smarter than you at something–they will lift you up in ways you can't imagine!
For example, if you want to be a musician, surround yourself with musicians that are all better than you. You will learn a ton from them and you will become better. If you want to be a great manager, spend time with highly successful managers you know and reap the benefits of other people's knowledge and experience.
The alternative to choosing great people to surround yourself with is choosing people less than yourself. The problem with that is you probably won't learn much from them. They can bring you down with their problems, incorrect decisions, and behaviors. This is a huge activity trap and may be where the phrase "guilt by association" came from. It may not be a fair statement, but it is what it is. Unfortunately, little in life is fair.
In looking for friends and colleagues (at work, in social situations or in professional associations), choose people that are smarter, more successful and just seem to have the world under control in their lives and career. Choose people you think the world is a better place because they are in it. If you do this, you will learn new things at an incredible pace and it will change your life.
Look for skills or traits in people you admire and decide if you want to adopt any of those in your life. For example, if a teacher of yours is a gifted listener and can calm down even the most upset person, watch how they do it. Later, ask them for a few minutes of their time.
When you sit down with them, relate the situation or behavior you noticed them display.
Ask them questions about how and where they learned how to do that. More than likely, they will be happy to share their opinions and ideas with you. Ask them about any books or articles on the subject they think might be helpful.
After you speak with them, do a good follow-up by either reading suggested materials, or by doing your own research. Then practice and add that talent to your skill set.
Some human traits and skills are innate, meaning you are born with those. For people that learn skills at an early age those seem second nature. However, you will learn many traits and skills throughout your life. If no one in your life has told you this before, here’s it is:
You can DO anything in this world.
You can BE anything in this world.
The only limitations you will EVER have are the ones you place on yourself.
If you doubt that statement, then you may need a daily affirmation. Write those statements down and say those to yourself every day until you know and feel this is true. Put this in a place you will see it every day. (The statement is part of the free worksheets) Download free PDF Files.
The best way to progress is to learn and adopt traits and skills from smart and talented people until you become the person you want to be.
Observe people you admire and notice:
What do they have to say about a subject?
How do they express themselves?
What is their body language?
What results from their actions?
What situations do they take part in and which do they try to avoid?
Any trait or skill you think is good, adopt and make it your own. Any you think is bad, discard. You can do this for your entire career and life. This process is just careful observation, critical thinking and doing whatever work it takes to make it part of you.
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