by Dark Angel
Kaden
I wake up with a huge grin on my face. Why am I so happy? Not that I’m complaining, but...
I feel something move next to me, and I look over to see Brittney sleeping peacefully, her long dark brown hair spread out over the pillow. It all comes flooding back to me – the make-out scene on the street, the ride back to my apartment, the amazing fucking...
I grin at her, her light breathing telling me that she’s still happily and deeply asleep. I have never enjoyed waking up next to the woman I’ve spent the night with. It’s always so damn awkward. "Hi, lady that I barely know. It was fun to fuck you last night. Now go away."
But staring at Brittney’s sleeping face, her breathing getting a little louder, verging on snoring, I can’t stop smiling. I wouldn’t want to wake up next to anyone else. She makes me happy.
She makes me question my choices and how I look at the world and what I want to do and who I want to be. I think about doubling my donation to the New York Library system each month. Or maybe I should go down there and donate some time. It can’t be that hard to put books away on a shelf, right? I used to help my mom with it all the time.
But I’ve never felt this way about a woman before, and I’m not sure if I’m delighted, or if it’s scaring the hell out of me.
Brittney lets out a full-blown snore, startling herself awake, and she jerks into a sitting position. I grin. I’ve never seen someone look so fuckably beautiful this early in the morning.
"Good morning," I say, brushing her hair out of her face.
"Hey!" she says around a huge yawn, and then falls back on the bed, grinning up at me. "How’d you sleep?"
"Pretty damn well, actually. I had this gorgeous woman who was snoring next to me, all night long, and after I put cotton balls in my ears to drown out the sound, I could sleep pret—"
"I do not snore!" she protests, laughing up at me. "I have never snored a day in my life."
"You snored yourself awake," I say with a mischievous grin, nuzzling the side of her neck to make her laugh. "You and lumberjacks have a lot in common. I’ve never heard anyone snore so loudly in all my life, and that includes my Grandpa Jack."
"No way!" she says through her laughter. "You’re so full of shit, your eyes have turned brown."
"Well that explains so much about my appearance." I nuzzle the side of her neck, and whisper, "I’d rather make you full of something else." I know that’s such a cheesy pick-up line, but I can’t help myself. Being around Brittney is fun and freeing at a level I’ve never experienced before. I’m free to be cheesy, dammit.
"Oh fuck, what time is it?" She rolls over – out of my arms – and grabs her phone.
My arms miss her already.
As does my dick.
"Dammit, I gotta go!" she says, springing out of bed. "I’d love to take you up on your offer later though. After work? Or later this week?"
She’s shoving her clothes back on as she talks, and I slowly watch her beautiful body be covered up by layers of clothes – first a bra, then a camisole, then a silk blouse.
It’s painful to watch her skin disappear like that, but a part of me knows that I can’t just kidnap her and force her to stay in my bed for the next year.
Or two.
"Yeah, why don’t you text me a time and place. We can meet up tonight. Wherever is good for you."
"Thanks, babe," she says, leaning over and kissing me quickly on the mouth. I ache for more, but she’s heading out the door and so I have to content myself with the knowledge that I get to see her tonight.
I can’t wait.
Brittney
I’m sitting in the Emporio Armani with Erica and Ashley, sipping demurely at my bitch beer. I don’t want to get drunk tonight – I want to remember it. Like all nights with Kaden.
He’s going to be late, but I forgive him. I know he has a lot on his plate right now, and just being able to see him is worth all the waiting in the world.
"You sure seem happy tonight," Ashley says with a wicked grin.
"If you’d been in Kaden’s bed last night, you would be happy today too," I say with a matching wicked grin. All day today, I couldn’t stop smiling. Floating on air is such a perfect description for me today. I don’t think my feet have touched the ground.
"Hey ladies!" A guy shows up at my elbow, leaning in over the table top towards me. His cologne is overwhelming and I instinctively lean away.
"Hi," Erica says drily. She’s not impressed either.
"Can I buy you another one?" he asks me, nodding towards my raspberry Smirnoff.
"Oh no, I’m fine," I say with a cheerful grin. Even Mr. Overbearing with Too Much Cologne On can’t ruin my happy mood. "I’m waiting for my boyfriend to show up. You might know him – Kaden Charles?"
I shouldn’t have said that to a complete stranger, I know that, but I also know that almost everyone around knows of the Boy Wonder, and I can’t help but imply that I’m way above this guy’s paygrade.
"Hold on, you actually fell for that?!" He throws his head back and laughs. "I thought you were too smart for that bullshit. That’s why I came over tonight – I figured you were still single."
"Fell for…fell for what?"
"He stalked you, sister. He called all of his research team in, and had them pull every bit of information out of your past so he could use it to get into your panties. Let me guess – did he ask you to go out onto his yacht?"
Mortified, I can only jerk my head yes.
"Hansen figured that one out. I’m the one who dug deep enough to know that you have 3 weeks and 5 days of vacation time piled up at Carter Jeffries, and if you don’t take at least a week’s vacation by the 30th, they’ll have to pay you for a week of it, which apparently they’re not happy about."
I’m just gaping, my mouth is gaping open, no words, because they’re all in my head.
Just you, me, and the ocean for a day. Or a week. Do you have any vacation time coming up?
He’d asked, already knowing the answer. He’d manipulated me, down to the very last detail. That goddamn motherfucking piece of shit.
"Your boyfriend? Damn, I should get a bonus. He really scored with you."
He won’t shut up. I don’t know why he won’t shut up. I put my hands up on either side of my head, trying to shut him out. Trying to stay sane. I can’t believe this. Oh god, I can’t believe it. I’m rocking back and forth, and vaguely, I hear Ashley getting rid of jackass but I can’t process the words right now.
I’d been so stupid. So goddamn stupid.
Kaden
I enter the Emporio Armani and search in the dimly lit bar for Brittney. I’m so damn happy, I think my heart might burst out of my chest. I’ve done nothing but think about Brittney all day long. One of my research guys discovered that she loves Jane Austen, and more specifically, original copies of her novels. I already have a rare items dealer on the hunt for an original copy of Pride & Prejudice or Emma. She is going to freak the fuck out when I give it to her. I can’t wait.
Except, I’ve finally found her in the dim lighting, and she doesn’t look happy to see me. Not one fucking bit. I see Tom from work being drug away from Brittney by some hot chick, while he’s arguing with her. "I was just talking to her," I can hear him say.
Talking to her. Talking to Brittney? Why the fuck was he talking to Brittney?
And is this why Brittney looks like death warmed over? I approach cautiously, not brave enough to stride over like I would have just five minutes early.
"Hey Britt." I try for casual. Maybe this is all just a huge coincidence. Maybe Tom hadn’t actually said anything to her.
"You’ve got yourself a real cold fish there, boss!" he calls out. Obviously, his pride has been bruised, and like a fucktard, he wants his bank account to be too.
"You’re fired," I call back casually. "Now get the hell out of here." I don’t even bother looking at him when I say it. He isn’t worth my time. I hear a fight break out between him and what I assume is t
he bouncer for the bar, but I ignore it all. "Brittney?" I say tentatively, reaching out to her like I would towards a wild animal, cornered and angry and ready to bite at any moment.
"How?" She looks up at me, finally making eye contact and I flinch, almost wishing she hadn’t. My beautiful, funny, confident Brittney is gone, and in her place is a woman who looks as if death cannot come quickly enough. I’m not even sure if she’s angry with me, or just in such a state of shock, she can’t feel anything at all.
"I had my guys at work do a little digging," I say desperately, trying to head off her questions. "That’s all. I just wanted to impress you."
"Impress me?" she echoes. "Impress me?! You goddamn manipulated me!!!" Her roar echoes around the noisy bar and the sound level drops to zero. I swear to god, I can hear people breathing. "You goddamn motherfucking piece of shit! You researched me like you would an acquisition! You gathered that knowledge so you could use it! I can’t believe I fucked you! Well, fuck you!" The whole bar gasps collectively and a white filmy haze drops over my eyes and I realize that I, too, am going into shock.
I’d just wanted to make her fall in love with me.
I hadn’t even been able to show her my dance moves. After three weeks of lessons, I can’t show her a single one.
A tiny – minuscule – part of my brain realizes that my dance lessons aren’t important here, but I’m having a hard time focusing on any one thing at the moment.
Her chest is heaving and she’s glaring at me so hard, I’m surprised my hair doesn’t catch on fire.
"You, Kaden Charles, may be a genius on Wall Street, but you’re a fucking retard when it comes to women. Erica, get me out of here."
And the three women walk arm in arm out of the bar to the clapping and whistling of onlookers, while I simply wish for death to come find me, and quickly.
Brittney
I’m staring down at my tequila shot, the amber liquid saying nothing but "Drink me." Not exactly helpful advice, but I take it anyway and toss back the shot. I feel the warmth of the alcohol spread through my veins, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
Nothing makes me feel better.
Lisa leans over and gives me a one-armed hug. I snuffle into her arm. I probably sound like a two-year-old crying to her mom, but I don’t even care right now.
"Whhhhhyyyyyyy???" I wail. Lisa quickens her patting pace until it’s almost a fan, cooling me off. "Why do I fall for these assholes?!"
"I know, honey," she says comfortingly. "Guys just can’t help but be assholes sometimes."
She knows what she’s talking about – Diesel had decided for her that she wouldn’t want to move to Long Island, not even bothering to ask her until his broken heart had finally driven him to stop being an idiot.
Somehow, I don’t have as much faith in Kaden. He really is a genius in the boardroom, and an idiot outside of it.
But dammit, he was an idiot I happened to be falling for.
The waterworks display is seriously getting out of control here. Even I realize that. I try to snuffle my tears back. Lisa hands me a tissue and I honk my nose.
God, I’m so ladylike. I roll my eyes at myself.
"The thing is, I’m not even so sure that I mind that he stalked me. Okay, so really, greasing some palms and finding out how much vacation time I have on the books is just totally beyond the pale, but he did it because he wanted to impress me. That’s kinda flattering, really. The fact that he took that much time to really learn about me…I wish he’d taken the time to ask me instead of sending out a team of investigators to discover this stuff, but god, he was just trying to make me happy."
I’ll admit it – this realization took me almost a week to really wrap my mind around. At first, I’d just been too pissed to think straight, and then I was too depressed.
The good news is, I took that week of vacation that my boss has been hounding me about.
The bad news is, I spent that week at home in my PJs, eating Girl Scout cookies, watching every variation of Pride & Prejudice that I could get my hands on, and crying.
I really shouldn’t have any tears left in me. I don’t know how I can still be producing any at this point.
"So why are you so unhappy?" Lisa has changed her pats over to strokes up and down my arm, and I sink into her side even further. This. This is what I need. A balm to soothe my soul.
"Because he didn’t fight me at all. Last week when I was yelling at him, or this whole past week when I’ve been at home." Getting fat eating Thin Mints. "He just let me walk on out him and hasn’t said ‘Boo’ to me since. No flowers, no texts, no phone calls…I don’t think he cares. He’s probably off, stalking some other girl at the Bungalow 8. I’m worth less than nothing to him – not even worth fighting for."
I mean, you’ve watched all the same chick-flick movies that I have. The guy goes after the girl and apologizes. He holds a boombox up in the air. He makes an ass of himself on national television. Something.
But not Kaden. He doesn’t even seem to realize that I’m gone.
And that hurts more than anything.
Kaden
I stare down into my tequila shot, hoping for answers, but the alcohol doesn’t seem to be delivering any.
"I lost her," I say dully to Diesel. "I lost the only woman who’s ever made me feel alive. Who’s ever lit up my life and made me chase after her and made me think and made me want to be a better man." I toss the tequila back, feeling the burn down my throat and into my stomach. It’s the only thing I can feel right now, and above all else, I crave the ability to feel something.
Diesel, a friend since high school, claps me on the back. "Kaden, you’re being a dumbass."
Sometimes, I’m not sure if knowing someone since high school is such a bonus after all.
"She’s testing you. And you’re failing. Just like our high school English class, you’re getting your ass handed to you on a silver platter."
All right, fine, I’ll admit it – numbers are my thing. Words? Not so much. As is evidenced by my apparent complete inability to say the right ones to Brittney.
I know that I’d been bored a month ago and that’s what started this whole debacle, but I’m way past that now. A small part of me wishes for boredom again, because at least boredom isn’t painful.
But another, larger part of me, welcomes feeling alive. Pain equal life, and for a long time, I wasn’t living. I was just going through the motions. Throwing that brick through the windshield of the cop car was the best thing I’ve ever done, although I’m not sure my lawyer agrees. He’s still trying to haggle the courts down to a simple fine, but I keep telling him that I want to do community service at the local library branch. He keeps telling me that I’ve completely lost my mind, and maybe I have.
"Kaden!" Diesel snaps impatiently, and I jerk my head up, pulled out of my musings. "I don’t know if she realizes that she’s testing you, or if this is a surprise even to her. But I promise you, she’s sitting out there somewhere, waiting for you to come talk to her. To come after her. Tell me – that night in the bar, how hard did you fight for her?"
"She didn’t want to hear anything I had to say!" I protest half-heartedly, but inwardly, I know he’s right. I had let her say her piece, and then walk out on me. I didn’t chase after her, I didn’t make her hear my side of the story; I just let her go.
"And if you asked her, she’d probably say that’s right. I’m sure she didn’t think she wanted to hear anything you’ve had to say…right then. But Kaden, it’s been a week. She will have calmed down by now. You need to at least go try. If you don’t, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life."
"Yeah," I say so quietly, I can hardly hear the word myself. It’s more of an exhalation of air than a word. But he is right. I’ve already spent the last week regretting this. I can’t imagine feeling this fuck-awful for the rest of my life.
"Yeah, you’re right," I say louder, with more confidence.
"There’s the Kaden I kno
w," Diesel says, smacking me on the back with a broad grin. "Now, I just happen to know where Brittney is tonight, since she’s out on the town with Lisa."
"Hold on, Lisa and Brittney are hanging out tonight?" I ask, surprised.
"Yeah. It was Lisa’s job to talk sense into Brittney, and it was my job to talk sense into you. We’re both sick of the moping. Whoever succeeds gets a blowjob from the other person. I figure that I’m a winner either way, but for fuck’s sakes, you hold a Lisa Blowjob in the palm of your hands. Go on and win it for me!"
"You know that sounds really bizarre, right?" I ask, laughing.
"Listen, it’s either gonna be you or Lisa, but someone is going down on me tonight," Diesel warns. I think he’s joking, but it’s hard to tell in the dark lighting of the bar.
"All right, all right, I’m going!" I shove back my chair and gesture to the waiter for my bill.
"I’ve got the bill," Diesel says, shoving me towards the front door. "You need to go win me that blowjob."
Not our normal parting goodbyes to each other, but for tonight, I’ll take it.
Brittney
After letting me water the front of her shirt for a while, Lisa finally suggests that we head up to the rooftop. Since this is what 230 Fifth is known for, I happily agree. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good. After a quick stop in the bathroom to fix my makeup, we make our way up to the roof, where we can admire the view for miles. Or at least a few city blocks.
I breathe in deep and smile. I really do feel better. Lisa is such an amazing friend. I’m lucky to have her.
"Listen, I was thinking that you ought to give Kaden another chance," Lisa says casually, leaning on the railing as we look out over the city together. It’s a view that the New York City girl in me will never tire of.