by V. Vaughn
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Almost four. She hadn’t given Dereck a time to come over, but she figured he’d show up sooner rather than later, and she couldn’t wait. When she’d left the city, she’d packed quickly. Expecting to be alone, she’d shoved, jeans, sweaters, T-shirts for sleeping in, and undergarments into a bag and thrown it in her car. Now she kind of wished she’d put something sexier in there, but how was she to know things would take such a turn?
She looked down, making sure the form-fitting, pale blue shirt didn’t have any specks of flour on it. At least it showed off her assets. Her ex hadn’t given her a second glance when she’d tried it on a few weeks ago, so she’d put it in her dresser and not worn it. Now she was glad to have brought it with her.
Had someone told her a few months ago that she and Kevin wouldn’t be together by Christmas, she would have been devastated. Maybe on an instinctual level, she’d known things were coming to an end. Maybe Kevin and Paula hadn’t been as discrete as they’d thought, and she’d caught on—even if she hadn’t admitted it to herself. Who knew?
She wished she hadn’t told her mom about the ring she thought she’d be getting, though. Now she’d have to field embarrassing questions in town, because one thing was for certain, her mom was part of the Parrish Pointe gossip ring.
The fact that Dereck had thought her engaged proved it.
Setting the timer on the stove, she tidied up the kitchen. The baked cannelloni she’d prepared looked amazing and was ready to go in as soon as the pie came out. Once she’d calmed down, she’d decided to make something herself rather than thaw the lasagna her mom had in the freezer. The recipe she’d found online said it was foolproof, and it had been easy to make. And who doesn’t love cannelloni? Doubt niggled its way inside her. She should have asked Dereck what his preferences were. She took a deep breath and shook her head. She’d been overthinking this all day. He’d love it.
She crossed into the living room and giggled. Too wound up to sit around and read that morning, she’d brought more of her mom’s decorations down and set out to make the place more festive. She’d gone so far as to drag the step ladder out and string some mistletoe over the couch. Another sprig was on the ceiling where she’d already set plates for them at the dining room table. She hadn’t been so bold as to place one in the bedroom, but then, if they made it that far, she doubted she’d need the mistletoe to get kisses.
All she’d been able to think about after he’d left was what he’d told her. He’d said he had to go because his wolf was pushing too hard, and he didn’t want to pressure her into mating, but the more she thought about it, the less she believed that possible.
Dereck might be a wolf shifter, but even in high school, he’d been level-headed. She’d seen him break up fights when others would have jumped into the fray. Then again, she’d also witnessed him losing his cool when one of the rougher boys had bullied a new kid to the point of tears their freshman year. Although she’d been well on her way before then, when he’d stood up for that boy, she’d fallen head over heels.
She took a deep breath as she walked into the living room. The scent of fresh pine flooded her senses, triggering Christmas memories she hadn’t thought of in years—her and Kate being ushered out the door to burn off some restless energy before her grandparents arrived. Each year, they’d built snowmen and made snow angels. Heck, one year, the Harrington boys had come over, and they’d built forts and had a huge snowball fight that had ended up with a broken window and everyone freezing during Christmas dinner. Back then, she’d assumed they hadn’t gotten into trouble because it had been Christmas, but when she’d found out that Mr. Harrington, Dereck’s dad, had been sick and later passed away, she’d known the real reason.
Dereck and his brothers hadn’t shown up to school for a few weeks after the break. Barely a teen, she hadn’t been emotionally equipped to deal with any of it, so she’d never offered her condolences. She’d always regretted that.
The pie smell coming from the kitchen was almost as heavenly as the pine. Another twenty-five minutes, and it would be ready. That was enough time to run outside and have a little fun.
She set a reminder on her phone and stuffed it into her pocket. There was no way she was going to let that pie burn. She pulled on her boots, jacket, hat, and mitts, and headed to the front yard. There were plenty of other places to build snowmen, but she and Kate had always wanted them right there so when their grandparents showed up, they’d see them before anything else. Today her snow family would greet Dereck.
She worked as quickly as she could. She couldn’t make only one snowman—that wasn’t tradition. She needed the family of four. She rolled snowball after snowball, in all the sizes she’d need, and even managed to get the smallest one ready for assembly before her phone shrilled its alarm. Darn it.
Her snow family would have to wait. If she wanted to impress Dereck, making an edible dinner was more important than playing in the snow. With her cheeks tingling from the cold, she rushed back into the house. As soon as she opened the door, the smell of apple and spice mixed with pine tree wafted around her again, stronger than ever. Heaven.
She didn’t bother removing her coat or her hat. All she needed to do was take out the apple pie and toss in the cannelloni. One, two, and done. Then she could head back out and finish making her snowmen.
Setting her timer again, she was about to open the front door when the phone next to the couch rang.
“Hello,” she said as she picked it up.
“Jenna? What are you doing there? Why aren’t you in the city?”
Jenna closed her eyes and stifled a groan. She shouldn’t have let her mom go to voicemail a few hours ago. The truth was, she didn’t want to lie, and she wasn’t sure she should break the news that she and Kevin were through to her over the phone. She and dad liked Kevin. They considered him family already. Plus, she didn’t want to ruin their Christmas by making them worry about her.
“Hey, Mom. I decided to come home for Christmas even if you guys weren’t going to be here. I hope that’s okay.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. Could she sound lamer?
“You’re always welcome home, you know that, sweetie. But why? I thought you and Kevin had a special thing planned.”
Crap. I should have kept my mouth shut. “Well, I thought so, but that kind of fell through.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
Her mom fired the questions at her like an interrogator with a hot tip to chase.
“Don’t be upset. I’m fine. More than fine. I’m happy.”
“Jenna…”
“We broke up. Kevin had an affair and we’re through,” she blurted before she could chicken out. No point in denying it—not that doing so would have helped. Jenna had never been able to keep secrets from her mom. Amazingly enough, the lump she’d expected to have in her throat after delivering the bad news wasn’t there. Nor was any trace of added moisture in her eyes.
“What?”
Jenna pulled the phone away from her face to keep her eardrum intact.
The sounds of mumbling voices came over the line. Great, she’s telling dad.
“We’re coming home,” her mom said, her tone firm. “I can’t believe that asshole would do that to you.”
“Mom!” Jenna giggled. Had she ever heard her mother swear? She didn’t think so.
“Don’t ‘Mom’ me. It’s what he is. We’ve known it for a long time, and now he’s gone and proven us right. Now, let me get off the phone so we can book some flights.”
That thought sobered her up. “No, stay there. I’m fine, I promise you. Please don’t change your plans. Kate will be devastated.”
A pause came over the line. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone at Christmas after all this.”
Her cheeks heated and a grin crept onto her face. “I caught up with Dereck Harrington yesterday.”
“Is that so?” her mother finally said after a slight pause.
“He helped me get a tree, and he’s coming over so we can decorate it together. So, really, I’m not alone for the holidays. Oh, I nabbed one of your frozen pies from the freezer for dessert tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”
She heard more muffled mumbling over the phone. “Take whatever you want. I’ll make more. If you’re sure you’re okay, and you won’t be alone, then I guess we can stay here.”
“Absolutely. I’ll be seeing Mrs. Harrington and the other boys, too,” she added to seal the deal. She’d pop over with a poinsettia plant in a few days, so it wouldn’t be a total lie. If her mom thought she had all those plans, she wouldn’t worry so much.
“Oh, she’ll love that. Call if you change your mind, sweetie. We can be on a plane first thing tomorrow.”
“Will do, Mom.”
“Dad and Kate send their love.”
“Tell them that I love them. You, too, Mom.”
“Love you, too, sweetie.”
Jenna’s heart squeezed. Being without them for Christmas would be tough, no doubt about it, but she had no time to dwell on it. Outside, a car door slammed, and all thoughts of loneliness flew out the window. As much as she missed her family, she was glad to have this time alone with Dereck. Who knew where it would ultimately lead, but she was anxious to find out.
7
Not wanting to seem too eager, Jenna forced herself to remain inside even though every cell in her body screamed at her to greet Dereck. Instead, she shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on the coatrack. She’d stand by the door and wait a few seconds before answering, once he knocked. She rolled her eyes at her own silliness. Because that wasn’t over eager at all.
When a few moments turned into minutes, she pulled the curtain aside a couple of inches and peered out. It didn’t take that long to get from the driveway to the door.
Her smile bloomed, and the joy she’d had playing around outside bubbled to the surface. Rather than come straight inside, Dereck was busy assembling the would-be snow family she hadn’t managed to get finished. From her vantage point, she couldn’t see what he was doing with his hands, but he had the goofiest grin on his face.
No way was she staying inside and letting him have all the fun. Within seconds, she was wriggling back into her jacket, then tugged her boots and hat on. She was already out the door, mittens wedged between her knees, as she yanked her zipper up on the front step.
In the few seconds it had taken her to grab her coat and come outside, Dereck had turned so she could no longer see his face. He didn’t move. She glanced toward the tree line to see what he was looking at. Not wanting to scare anything away in case it was a deer or a bunny, she stepped as lightly as she could as she closed the distance between them.
Nothing stirred in the yard. The forest was quiet. From what she could see, there were no tiny footprints in the fresh snow.
“What are you doing?” she asked. “Did you see something out there?”
He shook his head and his cheeks turned a little pink. “Nope. I was catching Angel Kisses,” he said as he turned his face up toward the sky again. Big, fluffy snowflakes drifted down to land on his cheeks and in his hair, melting almost as soon as they made contact.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
He sighed and faced her. “The year my dad died, your father and grandad came by our farm. They helped keep the place going while we figured stuff out. Taught us what we needed to learn. I was in a bad way—destroying things around the farm that we couldn’t afford to lose. Your grandad found me one day with my knuckles bloodied from punching a fencepost.”
Jenna blinked fast, her vision blurring. She couldn’t imagine dealing with such a terrible loss at that age. She swallowed hard and reached for Dereck’s hand. She hadn’t been there for him back then, but she could listen to him now.
“Your grandad told me that snowflakes on your face were kisses from people we loved who were in heaven. As silly as it seems, it made me feel better and made that winter more bearable.”
“Grandad told me the same thing when my grandma died. I still remember it every time I’m out when it’s snowing. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you back then. I wanted to be, but I didn’t know what to say,” she confessed.
Dereck brought his hands to her hips and pulled her closer. “We were kids. You were no better equipped to deal with it than I was.”
A huge, fluffy snowflake drifted between them to land on her nose, making her giggle.
“You’ve been angel kissed,” Dereck said, watching it melt.
Jenna nodded. “I have. I wonder what it would take to get Dereck kissed?”
His gaze dipped to her lips, and her tongue darted out to moisten them. A soft sound coming from his chest rumbled between them.
Dereck could hardly think past the haze of lust crashing into him. It wasn’t only her body—what little of it he could see with her bundled up in her winter wear—or the soft, sweet scent that was uniquely hers. It was the whole package. The openness in the depths of her eyes, the passion and compassion that rose from her soul and reached out to him, luring him in.
All he’d been able to think about the night before was how delicious she was. Their kisses had left him hungry for more, and with her little tongue glancing out of her mouth, drawing his attention, it was all he could do to keep from devouring her. It didn’t hurt that her pouty lips were shiny with gloss and smelled of cherries, begging for him to kiss them and have another taste.
So much for the promise he’d made to himself on the ride over to keep his hands off her. With his hands on her hips, he’d already violated it. At least he hadn’t plastered them together—yet. There was still an inch or two of air between them.
Jenna’s breath fanned over his lips, and he groaned. Bridging that gap was a bad idea. Good idea. Very good. We need to get closer, his wolf argued.
Bracing himself for the ache when he pulled away from her, he wasn’t prepared for her to lean in, or for the soft press of her lips to his. He might have managed to keep it light, but then she moaned and closed the gap between them, and he was lost.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he held her tighter. He was already as hard as a rock, and there was no hiding it.
“Maybe we should take this inside,” she said, her eyes a little out of focus, when she finally pulled back.
“Okay,” he agreed when all he wanted to do was kiss her again. Didn’t matter that they were outside in the snow—not to him, anyway—but he didn’t want her getting cold.
She reached for his hand and turned toward the snowmen, and he struggled to keep a straight face. She hadn’t seen his embellishment yet.
“Thanks for putting them together for me,” she said as she looked them over. Jenna made a choked sound, then a giggle slipped from her lips. She looked up at him, one eyebrow quirked up. “I’ve never made a snowman with boobs before.”
“It’s a snow woman. You can’t have them all looking the same. How could you tell which one is the mom, and which is the dad?”
She almost managed to wipe the smile off her face before looking over at him and nodding. “You have a point. I mean, I always made one a little taller than the other, but I can see how that might be confusing.”
“And here I thought you were the ultimate snowman maker,” he said after a long, drawn-out sigh. “I might have to rethink this whole mate thing.”
Her eyes rounded, and the grin she’d been hiding disappeared. Shit. She wasn’t a shifter. She didn’t understand that mates weren’t chosen, they were fated. Even if they weren’t, there’d be nothing to think about. He’d pick her over any other. Period. Every damned time. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I was teasing.”
She blinked fast a few times and gave him a smile—one that didn’t come anywhere near reaching her eyes. “It’s okay.”
Although she didn’t release his hand, her arm was stiff.
“It’s not. I’m sorry for saying it. Mates don’t pick to be together—�
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Each word he spoke had her frowning a little deeper. His heart sank. Now he was butchering the apology. “How about we go inside, and I’ll try to explain?”
She nodded. “All right. I’ve made some pasta for dinner. I hope you like Italian food,” she said in a falsely cheerful tone.
8
Jenna couldn’t quite catch her breath. What did that even mean? “Mates don’t pick to be together.” The last thing she needed was to get into a relationship with someone who wasn’t as into her as she was into him. It didn’t matter that she’d crushed on Dereck most of her life. If he didn’t want to be with her, that was it. There was nothing more to explore. She deserved better than to be a stand-in until someone else came along.
Sure, he’d said that mates were forever, but if he didn’t choose her, then what did they really have? She didn’t want to be responsible for either of them being miserable when the newness of the relationship wore off.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she was overreacting, and she grasped that fact like a lifeline, reeling it in fast.
“I’m going to go check on dinner,” she said as soon as she had her coat off. The fact that the chime on her phone hadn’t gone off yet didn’t matter. She needed a minute to compose herself and maybe dial back the almost panicky feeling welling up inside.
At the root of it all were two wicked fiends fear and doubt. She took a deep breath to shake off her frustration. Kevin’s betrayal had shaken her confidence to its core. In her mind, she knew there was nothing wrong with her, and that what he and Paula had done hadn’t been about her, but it still stung. What she refused to do, even if the rest of her hadn’t quite caught up with her brain, was put her self-doubt onto Dereck that way. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
She opened the oven door a crack and let the blast of hot hair whoosh past before peeking in. The tomato sauce bubbled and smelled amazing. Next, she went to the fridge and retrieved the bottle of wine she’d set to chill earlier.