Little flocks of birds rose out of the grass to grab bugs right out of the sky. I whistled to them, and one trilled in response before Miranda exited her SUV and closed her door.
I couldn’t see her expression with my back to her, but I could picture it in my mind’s eye—slightly annoyed with her dark eyes narrowed. Her dusky rose lips would be tight as if holding back a smile—an arched eyebrow daring me to push my luck.
“Are you stalking me?” I threw the baiting words out there, and she rewarded me with a snort.
“The same way I stalk most criminals, yeah.”
I winced. That one stung. “Let’s keep the Taser above the belt, please.” There was some entertainment in teasing her. Her humor lined right up with mine, and it was fun. Simple. Enjoyable.
“So, you like being cuffed and locked up, but not tased. I’ll keep that in mind.” Her throaty voice had every muscle in my core tightening up with lust. Damn, she could mess with me.
“What about you?” I asked as she stepped to my side, her gaze scanning the fields and watching the birds swoop and glide. “Do you like being cuffed, locked up, and tased?”
Her eyes met mine, though she didn’t turn her head. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Yes, yes, I would. That’s why I asked. But I knew Miranda would not give me the satisfaction of knowing, and it didn’t matter. Sex wasn’t the goal with Miranda. I didn’t want another notch in my bedpost. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted, but it wasn’t about sex, kinky or otherwise.
“You ready to cuff me, officer?” I offered her my wrists, still taunting her, even though I didn’t want to find myself in cuffs. That was never the plan.
She sighed. “That’s a lot of paperwork, and this is my last call of the day. So how about you run along and stop trespassing and working up poor Ethel?”
“Last call of the day?” I kept my tone perfectly neutral, though she knew right away that this was all going according to my plan. “Does that mean you’re done working then?”
She nodded, her dark eyes locking on my face. A slight smile tugged the corners of her lips, and I wanted to lean in and kiss them. The breeze brought her perfume’s scent to my nose—something light and citrusy that made my mouth water.
“Well, since I don’t want to create more paperwork for you, I’ll head on out, then.” Jerking a thumb toward my truck, I flashed a grin, and a wary light flashed in her eyes. “I’m going to Roy’s. I’d love to buy you a beer.”
That eyebrow of hers twitched on its way to her hairline. “Are you trying to bribe an officer of the law?”
“Never. I offered to get out of here, so you don’t have to arrest me, then told you where I was going and asked you to join me.” Yeah, she was on to me. I could tell in the way her eyes studied my face.
Her lips parted, and I braced for her to call me out on what I’d done, but she didn’t. Instead, she inhaled and exhaled, her shoulders lowering several inches as if that breath deflated her.
“Sure, but I need to go home, grab a quick shower, and change.”
Her words hit me like a bolt of lightning. The thought of her in the shower nearly sank my battleship, and I gulped. This woman somehow had the power to revert me to the teenaged boy who couldn’t go three seconds without thinking about sex. “Sounds great. Do you want me to follow you or meet you at Roy’s?”
This time she didn’t hold back the smile tugging the corners of her lips. With a tilt of her head and a side-eyed glance at me, she answered. “Don’t push your luck. I’ll meet you at Roy’s.”
“Whoa, you’re reading too much into that. I wasn’t suggesting anything but merely offering to come with you.” Even though I’d offered to go back to her place—yes, with impure thoughts about her in the shower—I legitimately hadn’t intended anything beyond accompanying her.
We walked back toward my truck and her SUV, and I watched her tuck her thumbs into her belt as she walked. She might be smaller than me, but there was a commanding presence to her I admired. Miranda took nothing from nobody.
“I’ll be quick.” She glanced up at me.
“I’ll be waiting.” With that, we separated into our vehicles, and she waved for me to pull out before her. I did; a slight smile on my face. We were going on a date—finally.
Careful to drive safely with her behind me, I monitored her in the rearview until we parted ways on the main road. She went toward home, and I headed toward Roy’s. I must have sped the whole damn way because I was pulling into the parking lot moments later. I found an empty spot, sucked in a deep breath, and let it out. “Don’t screw this up.”
Miranda mattered. Any other woman and I wouldn’t give a damn if they didn’t like me. I wouldn’t care if things didn’t go well because if we weren’t a good match, then so be it, but there was something between Miranda and me. Something I didn’t want to destroy. Something that felt important, even if I couldn’t explain it.
I got out of my truck and headed inside Roy’s.
I breathed a sigh of relief that my brothers weren’t there. Angie locked eyes with me, then made her way to where I was.
“Can I talk to you about—”
I lifted a hand to cut her off. “Look, you had an idea, we tried it, and it didn’t work.” I’d never actually been interested in her, but a deal’s a deal, and I held up my end. It was not my fault she didn’t get the outcome she wanted. If she wanted to play games, she had to be willing to lose. Maybe next time she’d just talk to the person she actually wanted to date. Anger lashed in her features, and she studied my face before spinning around and walking away.
I signaled Roy with two fingers, and he nodded, giving the empty spot next to me a significant glance. I shook my head a bit and glanced toward the door to show I’d have company shortly. One thing I’d always loved about Roy was how communicative he was without words.
It was a skill we’d discussed; it was easy to carry on an entire conversation without ever speaking a single word. Roy nodded and glanced at the clock before lifting an empty glass in my direction. I knew this was his way of telling me he’d bring our drinks when she showed up.
Angie settled down in a dark corner, her elbows on the table and her shoulders hunched forward protectively. For an instant, I felt terrible for her. Had I made the wrong call? Should I have done more to help her?
Then the voice of reason kicked in. If Angie wanted something, she needed to go for it, not ask me to play head games to help her get what she was looking for. I had my own life to live, and I had no plan to screw up my relationships for her.
The door opened, and I caught sight of Miranda. Her damp hair was free-flowing down to her waist instead of her usual no-nonsense bun. She still had that commanding set to her shoulders, even in plain clothes. Her fierce eyes met mine, and a smoldering smile played on her lips.
As Miranda made her way to me, I caught Angie’s stare but ignored her. I patted the seat beside me, and Miranda slid onto it.
Almost instantly, Kandra materialized and put two beers in front of us.
“Hey, you two.” Kandra smiled widely.
“How are you?” Miranda asked Kandra, and I watched the two talk while picking up my beer.
Kandra put a hand on her swollen belly and lifted a shoulder. “Tired. Good. Happy.” I knew my sister-in-law was due any day, but she stubbornly refused to stop working, even though Noah offered her the option. She told us that working helped keep her mind off what could go wrong and focus on what was going right. She enjoyed being active, and we all respected that.
“You’re looking beautiful.” Miranda took a drink of her beer.
“I feel like a beached whale.” Kandra laughed and hurried off to talk to someone signaling her, but not before giving me a significant glance. Damn. She was going to tell my brothers all about this date.
“I’m happy for her.” Miranda turned to me, and I nodded.
“Kids are a game-changer.” I’d never been sure about having kids of my own. While I loved
family life, having someone wholly dependent on me was another thing. Frankly, the thought scared the hell out of me.
“Yeah.” Miranda closed up like a flower at dusk, and I wondered what I’d said to upset her.
“Thank you for coming out with me. I know it’s a big deal.” As the sheriff, she had to protect her reputation. I understood that. The sheriff seeing someone would be news in our small town, and to my knowledge, she hadn’t dated anyone since moving here. “Tell me about yourself.”
She fiddled with her beer, then took a deep drink. “What’s to know? I was in the Reserve. I was once a horseback riding champ. I took this job when it opened up.”
“Reserve? National Guard?” I hadn’t known specifics but assumed she was ex-military or something similar.
She nodded, her throat shifting as she swallowed hard and took another drink without meeting my gaze.
Before I could try to put her at ease, her phone rang.
She answered, and when the voice on the other end of the line spoke, all color drained from her face. Her eyes widened, and her hands trembled.
Her eyes flashed to me, and she held up a finger. “Yeah, I’m here.” With that, she slid out of her seat and headed for the door, leaving me stunned and alone. In all the years I’d known her, I’d never seen her scared. But when I looked at her now, there was nothing but panic written all over her face.
Chapter Three
Miranda
“I’ll never forgive you.” My mother’s voice cut through me like an icy winter wind, and my knees nearly buckled as I made my way outside.
“I know.” My throat screamed as if I’d swallowed a mouthful of crushed glass and chased it with an extra-tall unsweetened lemonade from a salt-rimmed glass. I pulled open the door and crawled into the back seat. Curling with my knees to my chest, I bit down on my lower lip as she continued to berate me.
“Everything that happened; it was your fault. All of it!” Mom’s voice rose to a shrill screech, and I blinked back hot tears.
“Okay.” There was nothing to say. Nothing I could say to defend myself. It wasn’t my fault, but I’d grown used to my mother’s accusations and knew better than to argue with her. Hidden behind the dark glass, I lifted and glanced at the door to Roy’s, praying Bayden would respect my privacy. I couldn’t face him. Not now. Not with my mother on the line.
Winding my arm around knees, I held the phone to my ear and waited for the rest of her razor-sharp words.
“Okay? None of this is okay!” She mocked my words before sounding shocked at my answer. “You ran off to pretend you’re some hero, but we remember. We remember who you are and what you did.”
I flinched as if her words physically assaulted me and caused pain to flow through every pore in my body. “I’m sorry.” And I was sorry. I was sorry she believed it was my fault. Sorry I couldn’t face her, and even more sorry that we couldn’t fix the rift between us.
“Oh, you’re sorry.” She must have moved the phone away from her mouth because her next words were muffled. “She says she’s sorry,” she shouted, probably at my dad. Her voice returned full force. “You’re right. That brings your sister back. Sorry fixes everything.”
My throat closed, and the scalding tears slipped down my cheeks. This time of year never got any easier.
“When are you coming home?” Her screech dug at the base of my skull like a dull ice pick, and I shuddered, swallowing back a wave of nausea.
“I’m not.” I promised myself a long time ago that I’d never go back.
Her voice rose to a blood-curdling scream that reminded me of the time I’d happened across a raccoon with its paw stuck in a trap. “That’s because you can’t face what you’ve done.”
She was right. I couldn’t face the past. I did everything I could to run from it. I’d left home for the Guard, then wound up in Cross Creek. But no matter how far I ran, I couldn’t escape what happened. No matter how hard she pushed, how much she blamed me, and how loud she yelled, it didn’t make my sister’s death my fault.
I wanted to tell her I needed to get off the phone, but I knew better. She’d keep calling back, nonstop, until she got it out of her system. There was no doubt she’d been drinking, and when she drank, she was impossible. Not that she was a peach when she was sober.
“How can you live with yourself?” Her voice rang in my ears as I glanced at the door and watched someone leave the bar. I only dared breathe when I saw it was Angie and not Bayden. She made her way to her beat-up Honda and slid into the driver’s seat.
Angie didn’t start the car, but sat there, hands on top of the wheel, staring into space. In the low light, I swear I saw the glitter of tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Why don’t you just go be with her?” My mother’s words hit my heart like a hollow point bullet, penetrating, then shredding everything in my chest. “Why don’t you just go be with her? You couldn’t even protect her, so what makes you think you deserve to be here?”
My shoulders slumped, and I curled tighter into myself. Struggling to breathe around my agony, I glanced at Angie once again. She’d tilted her head back on the headrest and stared at the roof of her car. Her chest rose and fell as if she were taking deep breaths. I followed suit even as my mother lowered her voice to a broken whisper to deliver a final blow.
“It should have been you instead of her.”
Angie turned over her little car’s engine and pulled out of the lot as the line went dead. Mom had hung up, finally. Dropping my phone onto the seat beside me, I hugged myself as pain washed over me in waves.
On some level, there was truth to her accusations. I hadn’t protected my sister when she needed me most. I hadn’t saved her.
With a deep, shaking breath, I blinked back the tears and swallowed all the emotions eating me alive. The joy of the night and casual fun with Bayden seemed so far away now.
Sunk in a bottomless pit of despair, I stared through the metal squares separating the Tahoe’s front and back seats. I reached out with one hand, pressing my fingers through the metal grate and clinging to it like a child gripping a chain-link fence.
I only ever wanted to help others who found themselves powerless, in pain, trapped, stuck, or struggling with demons. That was why I became a soldier and why I’m a sheriff. My time as an upholder of the law taught me that most problems aren’t solved with cuffs or jail time. Sure, those things had their place, but it was kindness that people needed most. It could come in any form from a smile, a ride, or a warning rather than a ticket.
My phone dinged, and I picked it up, steeling myself and fighting back panic. Bayden’s text knotted the muscles in my neck and shoulders, and a stabbing pain flashed behind my right eye.
Are you okay?
No. No, I wasn’t okay.
Before he could come looking for me, I exited the back seat and climbed behind the wheel. Closing the door behind me, I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.
My only thought was about going home and finding safety in my little bungalow. As I pulled out of the parking lot, the door opened, and Bayden’s silhouette filled the space as the light from the inside escaped around him.
Fresh tears flowed down my cheeks as I drove away. Bayden deserved better than the lousy company I’d be tonight.
Driving like the devil was on my tail, I sped home, pawing at the never-ending tears that continued to fall. When I pulled into my driveway, I opened the garage door and parked inside. Rushing for the door, I let myself in and breathed as if this was the first oxygenated air I’d encountered all day. Tears continued to seep down my face while I pulled off my jacket and rushed for the bathroom.
Turning on the cold water in the shower, I undressed and stepped inside. Hunkering down, I curled into a tight ball with my legs folded to my chest and tucked my forehead against my knees. Icy water coated my flesh. I rocked back and forth, letting myself go numb until all of it felt like a bad dream.
My phone rang from my pants pocket on
the floor, but I ignored it. I couldn’t face anyone.
Not my mother.
Not Bayden.
Not anyone.
Not right now.
As a shiver started deep within my bones, I focused on slowing my breath. I stared at the white tiles under my feet, clearing my mind of all but three thoughts that refused to leave me alone. Like angry hornets, they buzzed furiously around my head.
I became a sheriff to help people.
But I couldn’t help the person closest to me—my sister.
In truth, I couldn’t help myself.
What good was I?
When I finally stood, my vision went white, and I clutched the shower door with one hand and pressed the other flat to the tile wall.
A heartbeat passed, and I wondered if this was it. Would my deputy find me dead? Surely they’d come looking for me if I didn’t show up for work. They’d likely find my naked body and think I’d fallen in the shower, but the truth was I’d died of a broken heart.
My vision cleared, and I breathed out as the trembling deep in my body continued. Turning the water off, I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me. What I needed was to climb into bed. I could deal with everything else tomorrow—everything except one thing.
I left Bayden so suddenly that I knew he’d worry, and I needed to let him know what was going on. There was no way I could tell him the truth because I told no one my darkest secrets. I didn’t share much about myself. It was safer that way.
I’d tell him I had a headache and had come home to go to bed.
As that stabbing sensation behind my right eye flared up again, I took comfort that my excuse wasn’t precisely a lie.
Just then, my phone rang, and I fished it out of my pants pocket with hands that felt more like flippers. None of my fingers wanted to work. They were numb and unresponsive, but I answered Bayden’s call.
“Hello.”
“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice tore at me, and I struggled to keep my tone casual.
Fearless Hart (A Cross Creek Small Town Novel Book 2) Page 2