Holy shit.
“Relax, baby.” Mitch pulled me to him. “You’ve never done it? It’s an incredible high.”
Jack laid down a mirror and poured a thin line of coke. He took out a credit card and smooshed the powder down. Mitch handed him a dollar bill, and Jack snorted a line. Then Mitch followed. My eyes dazed and my skin tingled.
Mitch pushed the mirror into my hands, and handed me a razor blade. “Here, your turn. This will help you loosen up, then we can have some fun.”
Was this some type of test? This had to be a trap. Was Grant here somewhere? Or maybe he was going to take pictures of me and show Grant. What was I doing? Was this getting me any closer to Joaquín?
But I couldn’t say no. I’d never even smoked a cigarette—I was an actress and didn’t want to fuck up my voice. But my gut wrenched and I felt almost certain that if I didn’t pass this test—the hard-partying-up-for-anything-stripper test—my game would be over.
I closed my eyes. I could do this. The drugs running through this place could be linked to the murder. I’d made too many sacrifices to get here; what was one more?
I took a deep breath, stared at Mitch who nodded at me expectantly, and inhaled a line.
My gums numbed, a bitter, metallic taste dripped in my throat. I tried not to gag. My insides were quivering but it wasn’t from the blow. I was in a strange place, with men I didn’t trust. Grant wasn’t with me. Through this entire time, since I’d transformed, I’d convinced myself I’d always at least maintain control. But I was anything but in control of this situation. I finally realized how vulnerable I truly was.
Mitch rubbed my back, and I fought the sudden overwhelming desire to get close to him. His fingers made me tingle, and I imagined him touching me. Hell, I wanted him to touch me! I wanted to lose myself in pleasure, forget about my fucked-up life and indulge. Pulses of euphoria streamed through my body.
Mitch leaned in and kissed my neck. His now-potent scent startled me. A flash reminded me of the only other time in my life that I’d lost control. A time that ruined my life.
But I didn’t have time to focus on Mitch. Because not even a minute later, the heavy doors swung open and Grant was standing there in front of me, a look of disgust marring his beautiful face.
***
SURE, I FUCKING FOLLOWED HER, Ksenya, Mia, whoever the fuck she was. If she were Ksenya, then maybe she was just a typical dancer who just saw me as nothing more than another client. Did she think I was dumb and wouldn’t know she was going to party with another guy? My fellow Teammate at that? Guys have been killed for lesser reasons.
She squirmed out of Mitch’s arms. “Grant!” She bit her nails, trying to cover her cleavage with her arms. She was wearing a corset and a fucking garter belt. But if she were Mia, it would make sense for her to be here to investigate about the dead stripper. Though Tiffany never worked here, Diamond was the hottest new gentlemen’s club and many of the former Panthers’ girls had made their way here. I wanted to call Ksenya out right now. All I knew was that this full bullshit scenario was giving me a headache. I didn’t know whether to beat Mitch up or to thank him.
Mitch pushed her off him, got up and shook my hand. “Sorry, man, I told you she was just a stripper.” His nose was runny.
Fuck. He was doing blow again. He better not have given that shit to Ksenya.
Before I could respond to Mitch, the waitress brought a tray of drinks. Two whiskeys and a rum and Coke.
A rum and Coke—Mia’s drink. Since I met Ksenya, she’d only drank vodka.
I fucking knew it. If I didn’t see it clear-as-fucking-day earlier today, when faced with her brother, I saw it then. How the fuck had she pulled this shit off? The Russian accent, the body, the face, the goddamned stripping! This chick was insane. My stomach wrenched—I didn’t know if I should be pissed off or impressed.
I shook Mitch’s sweaty palm, my mind plotting my next plan of attack. My turn to play games. “It’s cool. I didn’t come here for her. Is Autumn around?”
My eyes darted toward Ksenya, who was struggling to pull on her dress. Her chin dipped to her chest, her posture slumped. Too bad I was done falling for her bullshit.
“Yeah, I’ll get her.” Mitch slapped me on the shoulder before heading back into the main area of the club, Jack following him.
Leaving Ksenya and I alone.
I stood my ground. She took her walk of shame and placed her hand on my shoulder. I shoved it off.
The cute, wounded little look she gave me did nothing whatsoever to help her case. “Grant, I’m sorry. It is not what it looks like to be. Mitch told to me at party that he could get me job here. I know you got me job at bar, but I need more money. I was afraid to ask it to you, because I know you do not want it for me to strip.”
She was lying, about what I didn’t know yet. I steadied my breath—I would see this through until I outed her for who she really was, though I would continue to hide her identity from my Teammates. I’d work with her to exonerate Joaquín, and then send her the fuck out of my life forever. Either way, getting rid of this chick couldn’t come a moment too soon.
“I don’t care what you do. I was trying to help you but if you want to do blow and get naked with a bunch of my friends, be my guest. I don’t have time for a cock tease.”
I raised my head and glared into her eyes. Yup, her pupils were dilated.
Man, I’ll fucking kill Mitch when this is over.
Her fingers brushed up against me again and I recoiled. “Take me home together with you. I promise I will not tease you.”
Don’t fall for it, Grant. She’s an actress. She’s playing you.
I pushed her off of me. “I don’t fuck junkies.”
She gave me a blank stare and I turned away from her.
Mitch returned with Autumn. She smiled when she saw me, and I gave her a big hug. Blonde bob, tight clothes, perky ass. I had been about to fuck her the night of the murder, but we’d both partied so hard, we passed out. She was a nice, sexy girl, but I hadn’t been able to find an emotional connection with her.
Autumn and I chatted in the booth, while Ksenya stared at us. After about five minutes, I was about to walk away with Autumn, get wasted. Maybe if I fucked her tonight, I could take my mind off Ksenya.
But I couldn’t resist—I took one final glance back. Ksenya’s hair hung in her face like a spider web, and her lip was trembling.
Exactly like Mia’s used to.
Fuck, what was wrong with me?
I kissed Autumn on the cheek, told her it was great to see her. I was a goddamned idiot not to make a night of it with her but I still needed some answers. Maybe Ksenya would break down and confess everything to me after I fucked her brains out.
I grabbed Ksenya by the wrist until she yelped.
“Fine. You want to play games, little girl? Make me jealous by fucking around with my friend?”
Her eyes widened, almost doe-like. “I made mistake. Please, you must forgive me.”
“Stop talking. You want this night to continue? You will obey my orders. What I say goes. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
She nodded her head quickly, her skin flushed.
I was a Navy SEAL, the ultimate alpha male. When I’d dated Mia, I’d never let her see my whole self. I’d never brought that shit home with me. I’d treated her like the little fucking princess that I’d always thought she deserved to be. I’d been the nice guy—tender, loving and attentive. I had aimed to please her, rather than myself.
Tonight, she hadn’t earned that right. I’d be selfish and fuck her how I’d always wanted to.
I was done minding my fucking manners.
***
I DIDN’T WANT THIS HIGH to come crashing down. Because I knew that when it did, I would realize what a really horrible idea this was. Tingles ran through my body. The thought of Grant dominating me made me excited. I wanted to please him, fulfill all of his desires.
I thought for sure it was over just moments
ago; that Grant was going to tell me to fuck right off for good. Clearly he was jealous. For a minute it looked like Autumn was going to be the lucky recipient of all that pent up rage and lust and fuck this whole thing if I was going to let that happen. I couldn’t help it. I wanted it to be me.
We arrived at his place and without a single word, he shoved me in the front door.
Grant ran his hands over my body, stopping over my nipples, rubbing them through my dress. “So you like playing games with me? Does that turn you on?”
I reached for his cock. “Yes. It did tonight.” And it did, I liked how he squirmed for me, how much he wanted me. It was a welcomed reprieve in the middle of all the chaos.
He pulled up the side of my dress and snapped my garter belt. The fabric stung but the shock of pain excited me. “Do you want me, Ksenya? You are free to leave at any time. All you have to do is say no.”
“Yes, I want you. I need you. Let me please you.” I moved my hand to undo his belt, but he pushed me away.
“Don’t speak. You are here to please me. Got it? On your knees.”
I obeyed, a breath escaping me. I wanted to submit to him. I also wanted to ask him who the hell he was and where was this behavior coming from. But right now, I couldn’t bring myself to care. My head was a lust-filled haze.
He dropped his pants.
“Take my cock out.”
I did. I grasped his big beautiful cock.
“See how hard I am for you, Ksenya?”
“Yes—you are—”
He grabbed me by the nape of the neck. “I told you not to fucking speak.”
Whoa. I nodded shakily. My pussy throbbed. I couldn’t believe how much I loved this.
“Open your mouth wide, wrap your lips around my cock. And suck.”
Finally, he was treating me like the stripper slut who he thought I was. And I wanted it. His filthy commands, his anger, his passion. I wanted all of him. And with the mask that I was wearing, I would finally be able to explore his deepest fantasies. He thrust deep into the back of my throat, my lips clamped tightly around him. My tongue circled the head, sucking, teasing.
He growled. “Good job, baby. You’re a dirty little cocksucker, aren’t you? Take me deeper.”
I took him as deep as I could, his cock tickling the back of my throat.
His eyes closed for a few seconds. Then he placed his hand on the back of my head, guiding my movement.
I couldn’t get enough of him. I never wanted to stop, but after another moment, he pulled himself out. The silence of the night filled the air.
I dared a look up at his face. “What, did I not please you?”
“You pleased me fine, but I want to taste you.”
A shiver ran through my body.
He carried me into his bedroom, and positioned me on his bed. His capable hands slowly unhooked my bra. His fervent kisses showered my neck, his hot mouth probing mine. But these weren’t sweet and loving kisses like I’d known with him; these were animalistic and raw. My hands moved to touch his massive chest but he pinned my arms above my head.
“Spread your legs,” he barked, his deep, throaty voice sexier than ever. He pulled a belt from the side of the bed and tied my wrists up to the headboard. I tried to hold on to what little composure remained. I had never seen Grant like this. But one look up at his face showed a man who was totally in control. Taking what he wanted. I was nervous, but even now, Grant had a way of making me feel safe.
Once I was restrained, his mouth made its way down my body. His tongue lashed at my nipples until they turned a bright shade of red. I ached to feel him inside me, for him to have his way with me. Luckily for me, it didn’t seem like I’d have to wait long.
“You’re so fucking perfect. Like someone sculpted you just for me.”
Despite this hell-in-a-hand-basket night, I held back a laugh.
He pushed my panties aside, his tongue just a centimeter away from my lips. But then he stopped, the vein in his neck bulging.
He sat up, his breath hitched.
It was as if time had frozen, just our labored breaths filled the room.
His eyes widened and he placed his head in his hands, sighing heavily. “I think you need to leave. Now.”
What the—“Why? What is wrong? Did I not be pleasing to you?”
His jaw dropped, and he squeezed his eyes shut.
He untied my wrists. “Get out of my house. And lose my number. Don’t ever call me again.”
“What did I do wrong?”
His nostrils flared, his lips pulled back, teeth bared. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
I stumbled out of bed, covering my body with my hands. I awkwardly dressed, grabbed my purse, and dashed out of there—leaving Grant naked on his bed.
What was I missing?
My body shivered despite the warm San Diego breeze. I called a taxi, and it whisked me back to the only place I had left. Somehow I’d fucked up everything in my life. I had nothing left. For now—the only thing that remained was this quest. I still owed Mitch a private dance. A dance that would bring me one step closer to solving this mystery.
***
A BABY? MIA HAD A fucking baby. Where was this baby? Was I a father? I had to assume this was connected to her leaving me years ago, when I was laid up in the hospital. We’d made love once when I returned from deployment, and then she’d vanished. Completely. No trace—I mean this bitch was psycho. Like that chick from Gone Girl.
I hadn’t noticed the scar before, not when she stripped for me or had spent the night at my place. I’d been too focused on fucking her. But I was a goddamn Navy SEAL corpsman—I knew what a C-section scar looked like.
Done. I was so fucking done with her mind games. She could waste the rest of her life trying to help Joaquín but I would no longer be her pawn.
I wouldn’t even consider that I was wrong—Ksenya was Mia! She was. I was surer about that than I was about the sky being fucking blue.
I had to find out if her kid was alive, if my kid was alive. If she had my child and had kept him or her from me, I’d fucking lose my mind.
Maybe she had cheated on me. Although I never saw any signs of that, I couldn’t assume anything about this chick to be true anymore.
Where was this fucking baby? I wouldn’t rest until I found out what happened to him or her.
Fuck. I couldn’t believe it. She was my Achilles heel. But now I was free—free forever from her.
Time to live by our motto. A Navy SEAL never makes the same mistake twice.
***
MY MIND COULDN’T STOP REPLAYING every second of my interaction with Grant. The only thing I could come up with was that he had seen my C-section scar.
But why would that bother him so much? Ksenya could’ve had a child before she met him. It would only bother him if he knew . . . and if he knew, I was well and truly fucked.
I dismissed that thought.
Mitch greeted me at the door of Diamond after I sent him a text message. The cocky son of a bitch crossed his arms and thrust out his chest. “See? I knew he’d get bored with you.” Mitch rubbed his hand on my back. Fuck. I didn’t want this. Especially after leaving Grant like I had. But I didn’t have a choice. I felt in my soul that I was supposed to be here.
Mitch led me to another room.
This room had no pole—just a plush bed. Fuck.
“I thought you wanted a dance. We could go to other room and I can give to you, on the pole?” my voice squeaked.
Mitch took my hand, and let out a grunt. “You know what you came here for. You want my cock just as badly as I want to give it to you.”
I had to think fast and get the hell out of here. But before I could plot, his hand tugged down on his shorts, exposing his huge cock. I attempted to look away, but something besides his massive dick caught my eye.
A scar.
A deep mark, almost like a divot dug into his waist, like someone had jabbed him with something sharp. Almost like they might’ve been tryi
ng to get away from him. Something like a stiletto hee—
Holy Fuck. It had been Mitch!
I gasped.
I stumbled, dizzy, disorientated.
It couldn’t have been him. After all these years, wondering who had fucked up my life, ruined my relationship with Grant.
My mind flashed back to that night. Grant and Joaquín had been deployed. I’d been young and stupid. It was just a regular party on campus, right? Nothing could go wrong. Didn’t I deserve to have some fun? Tori begged us not to go, but Dara, April, and I wanted to have a girls’ night before our men came home. The night started out great; music, beer, dancing, typical frat party. But it quickly went downhill. I became nauseous, as if I’d been drugged. I went into a room to lie down and passed out.
I’d woken up a few hours later, the room dark and I was unable to focus, a massive man on top of me, my panties pulled down to my feet. Powerless to scream, I made a quick decision. I grabbed my heel and pierced it into his flesh.
Left one lasting scar of his attack, something that one day would hopefully help me identify him, something that he would have to explain for the rest of his life, every time he had sex, a reminder that I would never go away.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forget about him. Especially when he had left me with a tragic reminder of his violence. A reminder that I had loved, that I had even felt grateful for. A reminder that had given me a purpose in my life, a will to go on even without Grant. But after that reminder was taken from me, in a cruel twist of fate, I’d become consumed with bitterness. I’d shed everything that was left of my life, except for my brother.
Now, I wanted revenge.
Mitch would not get away with what he’d done to me. I didn’t reinvent myself to seek revenge. My goal was to exonerate my brother. I would spend my last breath working for his freedom.
But first, I would get mine. I had yet another mission. Mitch must pay. Especially now that I’d lost Grant.
Again.
I’d lost control, I’d snapped.
Chronic (Se7en Deadly SEALs Book 2) Page 6