“That’s your mother?” I tried to dampen the shock in my tone. Though in some ways I wasn’t exactly shocked. There were things that made sense.
“Yeah, she’s a wannabe hippie who wishes she’d grown up in the sixties. She’s an activist in the Seattle area and known for her somewhat radical opinions and destructive methods.”
“Has she always been like that?”
“Oh, yeah, she’s never been much of a mother. Her causes were her children. I was in the way. She never held down a job for long as she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Her boyfriends were always like her, and they didn’t work much either.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” That was the absolute truth. I’d been given a brief glimpse into Cin’s life, and I don’t think it could be any more different than mine, other than being raised by single mothers.
“Where’s your father?”
“I don’t know. He was some random guy she met at some random rally. She never saw him again. Biggest mistake of her life, she likes to tell me and anyone else who’ll listen.”
“You? You’re the biggest mistake of her life?” What mother told her child that? I couldn’t imagine. My mom and I were so close, I always knew I was loved, and I strove to make her proud.
“She’s always been disappointed in me and my choices.”
“What choices? Did she want you to go to college?”
She laughed bitterly. “No, she could care less about formal education. Life is the only education a person needs, according to her. She’s disappointed I don’t get more involved in her causes, but I find her to be a little too out there. She refuses to compromise or allow anyone who doesn’t believe like her to feel as if their opinions matter.”
“You do fight for causes. I mean, way more than most people.” She fought for causes to the exclusion of taking care of herself and her future, but I kept my opinions to myself.
“It’s not enough for Mom.”
Wow. I had no words.
I absorbed her answer and still didn’t get it. I might not agree with how Cin chose to spend her time, but nobody worked harder than her between her causes, her alterations business, and bartending.
“What are you thinking?”
“I don’t agree with your mom. I think you do more than enough.”
“With emphasis on more?”
“Huh?”
“You think I do too much?”
“I don’t know. That’s for you to decide, but don’t you want to do something with your life other than being a bartender?”
She bristled, and I knew as soon as those words were out of my mouth, I’d said the wrong thing in my blunt, honest manner. “What’s wrong with being a bartender?”
“Nothing. I would think you wouldn’t want to make a career out of it.”
“Why not?” She placed her hands on her hips and glared up and me like an angry little terrier.
“Uh, I, uh…” I stopped while I was behind and shrugged.
She shook her head and actually broke into a smile. “You think I need to get an education and a real job, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that. I don’t have beyond a high school education.”
“Maybe I do have dreams. Maybe there are things I want to do with my life. Maybe they don’t have anything to do with money.”
“Okay. Like what?”
“Maybe I want to dedicate my life to helping others, to enriching their lives. Noble causes don’t pay much, but the rewards are far beyond money.”
She’d slapped me down, and I had to give her credit for being direct. I might even admit I deserved her rebuke, but a sliver of doubt wrapped its slender tendrils around my heart.
Were Cin and I going to survive our differences? Or would they make us better people?
Chapter Thirty-One
Double Date
~~Hyacinth~~
Two weeks later, things were humming along for Steele and me. He held strong on the no-sex-for-a-month pledge, and I had to admire his willpower while wishing he didn’t have any. I wanted to be back in his bed or have him in my bed. Didn’t matter. A bed was a bed. It was the naked body in that bed with me that mattered.
Regardless, by my calendar, our one month was up next Tuesday. Steele would be home and didn’t have a game that night. I planned on making the best of it. In fact, I’d ask Ziggy to get a room elsewhere, or maybe Steele and I would get a room. That sounded ever better.
I took Friday off work. My boss continued to be very generous regarding my schedule. I’d been able to take nights off when Steele was free and work more nights when he was on a road trip. One of the other bartenders was hungry for extra hours and more than happy to cover any of my shifts, especially on the more lucrative tip nights such as Fridays.
While I loved spending extra time with Steele, the extra time off was affecting my pocketbook. I was living paycheck to paycheck and grateful Steele paid for the groceries and utilities. I’d become a little tidier just to thank him for his generosity, but Ziggy, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care.
Steele and I finally had a double date planned with Kaden and Delaney tonight.
I’d been looking forward to this date all week. They were two of my favorite people. Delaney was everything I wanted to be, and we’d talked at length about her running for a minor political position in Seattle to get her feet wet. Her goal was to be in the state legislature and beyond within the next several years. I had no doubt she’d accomplish her goals. She’d recently taken a policy position with the mayor’s office to use as a stepping-stone. I’d never considered politics as a way to change the world. I’d always held my mother’s disdain for the government and politicians, but Delaney opened my eyes to the possibilities of making real change via legislation and budget allocations.
I hadn’t spoken to my mom, though I’d attended some of the Green meetings where she’d been present. She was frosty toward me. While her coldness hurt, I tried to keep positive. She’d get over it. She always did.
But enough of such talk. Tonight would be purely pleasure.
I took a shower and dressed in jeans and a blue sweater. Steele loved this sweater, and his eyes lit up whenever I wore it. He claimed it brought out the color of my eyes. I personally believed he was more drawn to how well it showcased the D cups. Whatever the reason, I didn’t care. I aimed to please, after all.
Steele was waiting for me when I walked into the living room. He gave me an appreciative once-over. His smile was warm and welcoming. I wanted that man so badly. Somehow, he stuck to his plan, a testament to how disciplined he was. I wasn’t plagued with such a vice. I was undisciplined and, when it came to sex, tended to be hedonistic. Making me wait was good for my soul, I supposed, but the rest of me didn’t agree.
Ziggy and Cave sat on the couch drinking beer along with another guy I recognized as a teammate but couldn’t recall his name. I think he was a rookie. This guy gawked at me with his mouth open as if he’d never seen a woman before.
Weird.
I ignored him and glided up to Steele to give him a peck on the cheek. He grinned fondly down at me. “Hey, babe,” he said, resting one of his big hands on the small of my back.
“Hi, Cin,” said Ziggy and Cave in unison. I smiled at them. Those two were brothers from another mother.
“You’re home on a Friday night?” I said, surprised they weren’t out clubbing or at a private party.
“I’m trying to convince these old men to go out, but so far they’re showing their age,” the rookie said with a dazzling smile in my direction. He’d obviously recovered and regained his stride.
Steele stiffened next to me and scowled at the guy.
“We aren’t old,” Cave grouched.
“It’s not the years. It’s the attitude.” The full force of the rookie’s attention was back on me. “Good to see you again, gorgeous.” He wasn’t the least put off by the daggers Steele shot his direction or Steele’s possessive arm around my waist. This guy didn’
t deter easily, and he was cocky as hell.
I opened my mouth to say something but Steele beat me to it. “This is Hyacinth, my girlfriend, and she doesn’t need fantasies. She has me.” His hand tightened on my back. I shot a surprised glance at him, but he was too busy murdering Bryce in his fantasies to notice.
Girlfriend?
He’d never referred to me as his girlfriend before. Decidedly warm fuzzies spread through me, warming me enough to dance through a blizzard without batting an eye or freezing my tush.
“Why don’t you cross over to the dark side, gorgeous, and I’ll show what a real man is like.” Bryce grinned at me. The rookie was bold and unapologetic. I found him amusing. Steele did not. Meanwhile Cave and Ziggy stared at the interaction with wide eyes and shut mouths.
“Thanks for the offer, but I like the side I’m on just fine.” I stood on tiptoes and gave Steele a resounding kiss on the lips just to show Bryce I meant what I said. Steele kissed me back. For a long moment, I forgot we had an audience, or maybe I didn’t forget. I just didn’t care. We finally stopped when all three guys began to complain about our PDA.
“I get it. Enough already,” Bryce shouted to be heard over Ziggy’s and Cave’s protests of “get a room.”
I reluctantly pulled away from Steele, but our eyes locked briefly. Something passed between us, and I beamed with happiness. He’d called me his girlfriend, and that moment wasn’t lost on either of us. We’d crossed a threshold and transitioned into a different phase of our relatively new relationship.
“Sorry, Bryce, but I have my fantasy. You’ll have to find someone else.”
Bryce made a pouty face, which would be annoying on most men, but on him it was actually adorable. This guy wouldn’t have any problems attracting women. He had the full package, the looks, the glib tongue, and the cocky bad-boy thing going on that most women fell for.
I preferred my brooding, cocky tight-ass though.
“We should be going. I hate to keep people waiting,” Steele insisted, eager to get away from Bryce. Together, we walked to the door.
“Good night, boys. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do,” Steele said as he closed the door behind us.
“If they only knew we weren’t having sex.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He cocked his head and grinned at me, already knowing the answer.
“It means a month is a long time.”
“But look how much we’ve gotten to know each other.”
“Look how much sex we could’ve had by now.”
“We only have a few more days.”
“Why don’t we call it good. It’s almost been a month.”
His grin stretched from ear to ear. “As tempting as that is, we’ve made it this far; we’re going to make it to my deadline.”
My exaggerated sigh drew a laugh. We got into his Toyota and buckled up. Soon we were driving the short distance to the house Delaney and Kaden had rented. They were waiting on the curb. I guess we were a little late thanks to me.
Several minutes later, we sat at a table in front of a gas fireplace in a small restaurant with a view of Elliot Bay, drinking wine and enjoying the good company.
“That asshole Wilcox was hanging out with Ziggy and Cave at the condo tonight.” Steele sounded like a grouchy old man. I poked him teasingly, and he let out a sigh.
“Yeah, they’ve been quite the group, as some of the unattached guys on the team.” Kaden smiled at Delaney, who returned the gesture.
“I can’t stand that guy. He needs to be taken down a peg or two,” Steele said.
“He will be. I trust Smooth and Ice to deal with him along with some of the other veterans.”
“I hope so.” Steele rubbed his chin. “What do you think is going on with Ziggy lately?”
Kaden shrugged. “Something, but I have no idea.”
“He hasn’t paid rent for November yet,” Steele said as an aside.
“He’s such a flake. He probably forgot.” Kaden rolled his eyes and snorted in disgust.
“It’s two weeks into the month, and I’ve reminded him countless times.” Steele’s concern was evident. One thing I’d come to admire about Steele was under his rigid exterior lay a heart of gold. He truly cared about his teammates.
“His car is still gone. He claims it’s being repaired after a minor fender bender three to four weeks ago,” I added to our speculation, but Steele and I knew something they didn’t. We’d seen the repo notice. I wondered if it was time to bring them into the fold and talk about how to help Ziggy.
“His game is off. No matter how much he’s partied it up in the past, it’s never affected his performance on the ice,” Kaden added.
“Now something is,” Steele said.
“Did you realize on the last road trip, he hung out in his room? I heard a few of the single guys mentioning how he didn’t party with them, and they were speculating about what was going on.” Kaden and Steele exchanged concerned glances, and I, in turn, looked at Delaney. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully but kept her thoughts to herself.
“They didn’t appear to be going out tonight either,” I added.
We were silent for a while as we absorbed what’d been said. Neither Steele nor I mentioned the collection notices, but we were all concerned.
Our dinner was served, and the subject of Ziggy was dropped. As soon as Kaden opened his mouth, I regretted we didn’t stay on the Ziggy subject.
“Things have been so crazy lately, I never brought this up before, but Mr. Parker, you know the team owner—” Kaden looked to both Delaney and me to confirm we knew who he was referring to. We both nodded. “Well, Mr. Parker announced a few weeks ago that he’s committed to building a center for former athletes to transition out of sports as a career.”
“Oh, really,” Delaney replied, her voice almost a squeak.
“Yeah, it sounds really cool. He bought the city block next to the SHAC, and he’s going to build this large facility dedicated to assisting athletes transitioning out of playing sports or into the professional ranks. I wonder if Ziggy would be a good candidate for one of the financial programs he outlined?”
“Yeah, I think he would,” said Steele, building steam. “Ziggy needs some education on handling his finances so he doesn’t end up one of those former athletes broke and homeless in ten years.”
The two guys began to discuss the program and all the positive things that’d come out of it, including assisting high school and college athletes not able through ability or injury to make it to the next level.
I chanced a glance at Delaney. A fake smile was plastered on her face, but the guys didn’t seem to notice. Neither of us spoke of our involvement in the growing resistance to such a project.
“I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Delaney rose, and Kaden gave her a wink.
“Me too,” I said, quickly following her to the bathroom.
“What are we going to do?” Delaney said as soon as the door shut. “I haven’t said anything to Kaden about what’s going on.”
“Me neither. I guess I was hoping it’d all go away.”
But we both knew better. We’d been at the last meeting, and the group was picking up steam. More people had attended, and even Chris was being dragged into my mother and Sasha’s radical insistence no compromise be allowed, and the group would stop the destruction of the park at all costs. Removing that cedar tree had become Mom and Sasha’s driving issue above all else, and she’d wrested control of the group from Chris. My mother was the loudest voice of all.
“We could drop out,” Delaney suggested. “There are other hills to die for, more important ones like poverty and homelessness.”
I thought of my mother accusing me of selling out to rich people. I would never do that. But her accusations that I didn’t understand what was truly meaningful in life and that I was a disappointment rang strong. I could not leave the group with my self-worth intact. I didn’t shirk away from issues I believed in even when they�
�d become uncomfortable for me.
“I can’t. That tree is more than a tree. It’s a piece of Seattle. That tree saw the first settlers arrive in Elliot Bay. That tree has been there and survived and deserves to be there. It’s the last of its kind in this area.”
“Wow, you sound like Chris.”
“I suppose. Are you backing out?”
Delaney chewed on her lower lip for a moment and shook her head. “No, I’m not backing out. This has nothing to do with the Sockeyes, even if their owner is spearheading it. The guys will just have to understand.”
“I’m sure Kaden will.”
“And Steele?”
I laughed but it had a hollow ring to it. “I doubt it.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Surprise
~~Steele~~
The Monday following our double date, I relaxed at home before the game that night.
Cin rarely worked Mondays, so she’d be attending.
She’d been rearranging her schedule around my games, and I felt a twinge of guilt she might be sacrificing her income for me. I attempted to brush off such thoughts. Cin was a strong woman. She’d take care of herself and wouldn’t put herself in such a position.
Cin had gone shopping, and I was making a sandwich when the doorbell rang. Ziggy was sleeping the afternoon away as usual, having dragged his sorry ass home late morning. Herc lifted his head and woofed once, his version of playing guard dog.
I hurried to the door and swung it open, expecting Cin with an armful of groceries.
I blinked a few times in utter surprise before I reacted to my guest.
“Mom!” I exclaimed and wrapped my arms around her for a hug. She hugged me back, amazingly strong for a woman, but that was my mom. I released her, and we grinned at each other. I hadn’t seen her since my DC visit before the season started. Despite our regular phone convos, I missed seeing her. My mom was my favorite person. Next to Cin, of course.
She assessed me carefully as she always had since I was a rough-and-tumble little boy and would come into the house with various scrapes and bruises. Only this time her assessment wasn’t just concern over my physical well-being. She met my gaze and, satisfied, she nodded. “You look good, Steele. Really good. More relaxed than usual. Not so wound tight.”
Icing Page 18