Jeff was torn with indecision. He could make her drink. There was nothing he would not do to try and save her life. However, a lifetime with Judith had taught him that once she had made up her mind only a fool would try to go against her. Head bowed in defeat he wept for the first time in years. As he cried his chest heaved. After a huge intake of air, he held out his now shaky hand. With her hand in his he held on to a faint shred of hope. She had not left him yet.
A knock on the door startled him. ‘Can I help you Steven?’
Steven opened the door and eased in. ‘Are you okay? Can I do anything to help?’
Jeff could not take his eyes away from his wife. ‘No. Not really. She’s given up on life.’
Steven took a step back. ‘Is she in any pain? I could get some extra blankets.’
‘No, thank you.’ Jeff squeezed down harder on her hand. ‘We just have to wait and see.’
‘I guess she said no to the blood,’ Steven said, as he took a step closer again. It was obvious he was not comfortable.
Jeff wished he could give a different answer, but there was nothing to be done. ‘It’s her choice. She doesn’t want to live. None of us have ever died after the change.’
‘Is there nothing else we could do?’
Jeff shook his head from side to side. ‘I know what you’re thinking, but she does not want us to interfere. She is happy to go. She’s home.’
Steven took a seat next to him on the edge of the bed. He stared at his grandmother. They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Steven stood up. ‘I think I’ll give you some time alone.’
When Steven had left Judith’s weak voice called out, ‘Jeff.’ She made an effort to open her eyes.
He held her hand tighter. ‘Yes, my darling, I’m here.’ Her eyes could just about be seen through thin slits. He controlled the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.
She spoke in their disguised tongue. It was clear she did not want Steven to hear what she said.
‘Th-thank you, I know this is hard,’ she paused for a breath. ‘I don’t have much time.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘I know.’ She paused. ‘You have to promise me something.’
‘Anything.’ He hoped she would ask for her life, he doubted it would happen.
She spoke slowly. ‘You must help Steven to lead a normal life. He might stand a chance. We were too scared to try.’
‘You know I will do that.’
‘Promise me.’ Her hand squeezed his faintly, before a violent cough took hold.
‘I promise,’ he added, desperate to appease her. He picked up the glass of water and held up her head, ‘Drink, my love, drink.’
When he removed his hand from behind her head a clump of hair came with it. He shook it off and tried to act as if it did not matter. It did.
She swallowed and carried on, ‘You must find a way to help Emily. We failed her. We caged her up and made her what she is. It’s our fault, you have to fix it.’
What she was asking was impossible. Emily was a lost cause. He hated thinking it but he could not deny the truth. ‘I’ll try.’
‘That’s all I can ask,’ she sighed. ‘These past weeks have been liberating for me. I remembered our life before things got complicated. I can’t think of a better way to say goodbye to this world. Do you think there is another place for us to go from here?’
‘Of course there is.’
‘In that case I’ll meet you in paradise,’ her voice croaked.
Jeff leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She barely kissed him back before she closed her eyes. He panicked and checked her pulse – a faint, weak heartbeat remained. Confused and tormented, he curled up next to her and put his arm around her now thin and frail body.
The tears flowed freely.
***
The sound of a car door slamming in the middle of the night woke Steven up. Dazed, he sauntered down the steps and peered out the window to see who it was. To his astonishment, his Uncle Ian and Aunt Catherine stood on the doorstep surrounded by a few bags. After fiddling with the door latch, he opened the door and stared in silence.
‘Aren’t you going to welcome us in?’ Ian sneered.
‘I don’t have time for your nonsense,’ Catherine blurted, as she gave Ian an annoyed glance. ‘I need to see my mother, excuse me.’ Confidently, she made her way up the steps and disappeared.
‘Why does trouble know where to find you, Steven? If my mother dies, I’ll hold you personally responsible,’ Ian snapped, as he threw the bags into the hallway and followed in his sisters footsteps.
Mentally, Steven groaned. It was nice to know that he was a problem.
He needed some space away from the visitors. Back in his room he shut the door and went back to sleep. Now, he was the guest. For the first time since he’d come back with his grandparents, he did not feel welcome.
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Chapter 16
Family Reunion
The morning frost bathed the streets and cars in a sheet of white ice. The sky, dotted with a few stretched clouds, glowed in amber and russet colours. Daybreak, a breath taking sight usually missed by many. Steven imagined most people missed the morning twilight, unobservant and subdued as they dealt with day to day routines. Perched on the ledge of the rooftop things were different for him, he had everything to play for. Judith passed away shortly after seeing Ian and Catherine. It seemed they had brought her a final closure.
It was weird. He had only started to get to know her. Now, she was gone.
Her death changed everything.
He was also going to die. Obvious to some, but he was supposed to have eternal youth, to live forever. Death was now an option. His life apparently revolved around one thing, blood. He could take it and stay young. Or refuse, age naturally and die. He wondered if he would die if he did not drink any blood at all. Was he willing to test the theory? A question nagged, why didn’t they age in the Amazon? What was it about the Amazon that kept them young? It was a puzzle. A puzzle he intended to get to grips with.
For all his principals and self-imposed values, he now understood how easy it was to take what you needed. Blood was addictive, it was a drug. After the girl in Manaus and Julia he had felt a surge of energy and power, the adrenaline hit of a thrill seeker. It was easy to talk about giving up blood, the question was could he do what Judith did. Could he kill himself? Would it be so wrong to take occasionally? Just to survive.
An image of Caitlin flooded his mind. Recently, the picture had started to fade. It would be easier to let her go. It would be safer for her. But, if there was a chance that he could lead a reasonably normal life and have her as well, should he not at least try?
He scrunched some of the leaves that had accumulated on the ledge in his hands and got up. Slowly, he opened them and watched the shattered pieces fly away.
He suspected he was acting like a fool. He had no way of knowing if Caitlin would even give him a chance in the first place. He just did not want to let her go without a fight. She meant too much. He did wonder if his obsession was real. Had he imagined a Caitlin that was perfect for him? Why did she have such a hold on him? Was she the one? Or did he just want her to be the one? Did his reluctance to accept his new life have a wider role to play?
All of this was immaterial. The arrival of Ian and Catherine changed things. Would they try to convince Jeff to go back? There was one thing he knew, he was not going back. Not without a fight. As the final pieces of leaves fluttered to the ground he threw himself off the rooftop, somersaulted in the air and landed perfectly on his feet, completely unharmed.
He glanced at the house silhouetted by the morning light and frowned as he considered his options. Did he want to talk to Ian right now? He knew the answer to that.
Without any further thought he raced down the hill and lunged into the trees for cover. Then he started to run like he never had before. He wanted to make it into Southampton before the students woke up. He needed tim
e to do research. It was time to track her down.
*
Steven made his way on to the University Campus. It was still quiet, too early for most students. A sprinkling of lights adorned some buildings. Steven could not believe it was nearly Christmas. The previous Christmas he had only just got together with Caitlin. He remembered the night he took the plunge and went to see her. She had only just got assigned her new room, after she’d left when Georgina died. He did not know why he’d gone to check on her. He wanted to, he guessed.
It had been a good decision at the time.
Now, he wondered. If he hadn’t gone, she would be better off. She would not have a hybrid after her.
He knew what he was about to do was stalking. He was about to hack into the computer files. He was about to track her down without her consent. He was about to find out where she lived. And he was planning to follow her. Love made a man go to great lengths. Not lengths he was particularly proud of, but still lengths he had to take. He just had to know if he stood a chance, if there was any hope.
Could he hope to achieve a different future?
Was he being foolish?
He did not care. He was going to do it anyway for one simple fact – because he could.
***
The sight of his familiar heirlooms caused Jeff to pause in the hallway. He was visibly shaking and had to lean on the wall to not collapse on the spot. Judith had been his life. He could not go on without her, his life had no meaning. He pushed off the wall gradually and carried on walking. It was such an effort. He had made her a promise. A promise, he had to fulfil. He could not give up on life yet.
When he reached the kitchen he made his way over to a seat and sat down. He put his head in his hands and stared at the wooden grain of the table. His eyes followed the lines, anything for distraction.
He heard Catherine come in, ‘Dad, are you okay?’
Catherine and Ian deserved to see their mother. Judith had made so many sacrifices for her children. Anna and Emily should have been here. He had no idea how to even contact Emily.
‘No, of course I’m not.’ He could not help being short with Catherine, even though he appreciated the concern. He lifted his head and dropped his hands on the table. In an apologetic tone, he added, ‘Don’t worry. There is nothing you can do.’
Catherine flicked her curly red hair out of her face as she bit her lip. After fiddling with her hands for a second she moved towards the worktop and the kettle. ‘Maybe I can make you some tea or coffee? I know you like it black.’
‘Tea,’ he pondered. Tea had been Judith’s favourite drink. ‘No, not tea. A coffee maybe? Better make it strong.’
‘Sure, Dad.’ She picked up the kettle and filled it up with water. Every sound seemed magnified.
Jeff could tell Catherine was holding back the tears. She was always the strong one, yet nothing could have prepared her for this.
His wife was dead. It should have been impossible.
He heard Ian’s heavy boots coming down the stairs, his son always stomped. ‘Is that the kettle I hear? Make me one sis?’
His casual manner helped. Ian could never be serious for long.
‘Sure Ian,’ Catherine said, ‘Coffee right?’
‘Nah, I’ll have tea. When in England,’ he smiled, all jokey as usual. Was it an act?
Catherine frowned at him.
‘No need to look at me like that. Mum wouldn’t have wanted me to change. I don’t know why she did what she did, but I’m sure she had her reasons.
Catherine stirred and then handed Jeff his coffee.
‘I’ll take it upstairs.’ Jeff said, he needed to get back to Judith.
When he was in the hall he heard Catherine whisper, disgruntled, ‘Now look what you did.’
‘What?’ Ian pleaded innocence.
Jeff could not help a small smile. Ian was impossible.
Once in the room he put his mug on the bedside table and stared at the aged and still body of the woman he had shared most of his life with.
He could not believe his love was dead. They had sworn to stay together, no matter what. Now, she had decided to go against their promise. His head understood why, his heart could not accept it.
***
Shortly after Jeff had gone Ian watched in horror as Catherine broke down. He made his way over to her, let her cry on his shoulder and gave her a hug. He was not completely insensitive. After a few seconds he felt her shudder as the tears rescinded. When her breathing calmed down, he eased back and looked at her. ‘Feeling better?’
‘Marginally, thanks little brother. You’re very annoying but you have your uses.’
He smirked. ‘Any time sis, I’m not so good at wearing my emotions on my sleeve. But I know enough from being married to Carmen that women need to release. Even if I don’t show it, I’m just as shattered as you are. I just figure dad doesn’t need to see me upset.’
‘Well,’ she sniffed. ‘I guess someone has to keep level headed.’
Ian picked up his mug and took a sip. He licked his lips, got a spoon and helped himself to another sugar. ‘Talking of that, I think Steven is up on the roof. He went up there after he found out mum died.’
‘Should we check on him?’ Catherine asked. She rubbed her eyes.
Ian took a sip before he shrugged. ‘Nah, he’ll have to come down eventually.’
Catherine stood very still. ‘Are you sure he’s still there? I don’t feel his presence close by.’
‘I hadn’t thought of that. I don’t feel things like you do.’ Ian frowned. ‘Are you sure he’s not here?’
‘Pretty certain,’ she answered after a moment. ‘But, he could be around. He might have gone for a walk or something.’
‘We’ll worry about Steven when he returns. I think dad needs us more. I knew something would happen when they left. I should have stayed with them,’ he grumbled. Some days he felt like the fate of the world rested on his shoulders, today was one of those days.
‘We couldn’t babysit our own parents. Besides, they would not listen.’ The tears welled in Catherine’s eyes again. ‘Sh-she promised me she’d come back.’
‘She only said she’d try,’ Jeff said, from the doorway. ‘Look, as much as it hurts me to have lost your mother, she made the choice and we have to respect that. She wanted to die here, where she thought she belonged. She lived a full and happy life.’
‘I’m sorry, Dad. Did you hear us talking?’ Catherine put her hand to her mouth.
Jeff nodded. ‘She was happy to return just to reminisce. This is a lot for you to take in. I-I have to tell you though. Now that she’s gone, I don’t think I…’
‘Dad, no, not you too?’ Catherine interrupted, her voice pleading.
Ian could not believe it. Was his dad going to give up on life too?
Jeff ran his hand through his hair and then rubbed his overgrown moustache. ‘Not yet, I made a promise to your mum. But, after I have fulfilled her request I will also make my choice. It is clear to me now that we always had a choice. We should never have forced everyone to stay secluded. But, what’s done is done. We have to look to the future now, to all of our futures. You have a heavy weight on your shoulders. The community needs to know the truth. That is what you have to do for your mum. You have to go back and talk to the others and explain that things have changed. We are not immortal.’
‘Hang on a minute. If Mum had fed from a human she would have healed wouldn’t she?’ Ian protested.
Jeff narrowed his eyes. ‘We don’t know. She was convinced her body had had enough. She said it was her time to go. I guess that’s the point. We can all choose the right time. The question is; do you want to live indefinitely knowing that you will have to feed off humans or do you choose to end your life when your body starts to fail? Mum chose, and so must we.’
‘What about Steven? What promise did you make?’ Ian asked, wary.
Jeff stepped forward and took a seat. Only now did Ian notice how frail he appeared. ‘W
e will help him to lead a normal life. We will not force him to return. It was your mother’s dying wish.’
Ian bit his tongue. He would have something to say about that when the dust settled.
‘Talking of Steven, where is he?’ Catherine asked. ‘I know he’s not here anymore.’
‘Really, has he gone?’ Jeff seemed distracted. ‘Probably for the best then, let him go. He has to find his own path now.’
Catherine stamped on Ian’s foot, just as he was about to protest. She could always anticipate him.
‘I’m going to sit with your mother again. Could you go and get some supplies? We are short of food. I did not have time to shop with…well, you know,’ Jeff said.
‘No problem Dad, we’ll get on it,’ Ian sounded assertive. He had to. ‘Let’s go Catherine.’
‘Are you sure you want to be alone?’ Catherine asked.
‘Yes, I’d like to be alone with your mum. Don’t worry I won’t do anything stupid. I have a promise to keep.’
‘Okay Dad,’ Catherine smiled. She made her way over to Jeff, and gave him a hug.
Ian was nowhere near as sentimental as his sister. Sure, he was gutted – his mum had died. He was also angry. His mum did not need to die. He felt responsible; he should have stayed with them. Either way, it was Steven he blamed. If his mum thought he was going to let Steven gallivant around town unsupervised, she was sorely mistaken. He was going to do whatever it took to keep his kind safe, even if that meant defying his dying mum’s last request.
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Chapter 17
Déjà Vu
Catherine could tell Ian was angry. The way his eyebrows narrowed and his hands tensed was always a dead giveaway. Hell, she was also upset. She just couldn’t be angry with her mum. She wanted to try to understand what she had done. Eternal life was not something any of them should have taken for granted. Judith was now at peace. What it meant for the rest of them was anyone’s guess.
‘You know death is not such a bad thing. It’s natural. Mum knew that.’
The Evolution Trilogy: Hybrid, Complications & Return Page 42