‘We’ll have to go and get some supplies if we’re going to stay here,’ he said, as they got to the lounge. Caitlin had picked a book from the built in stacked bookshelf. Remnants of dust remained on the sleeve.
‘Why are we going to stay? We can go back to uni, can’t we? You’re doing fine. It can’t be that hard,’ she said, as she flicked through the pages and raised her head for a fraction of a second.
The casual way she replied scared him. He had not prepared her for what she was at all. Of course, he had no way of knowing what she was anyway. When did life decide to get so complicated? He chose his words carefully. ‘You want to go back as if nothing happened, to carry on as normal?’
She put the book back in the bookcase and flapped her hands in the air. Carefree again. Too much for his liking. ‘Why not? If we need to succumb to any needs, we’ll find a way.’ Again, the way she said it made it sound so normal.
Alarmed, he put his hands on her shoulders and tried to talk calmly. ‘Let’s sit down. We need to have a little chat. You are freaking me out.’
He sat down and clasped his hands together. He was anxious and getting more worried as each second passed. ‘Do you know what you are now?’
‘Not really but you’re no different so why should I be?’
He gritted his teeth. ‘Caitlin.’
She scowled.
He flinched. He held her hand and maintained eye contact. ‘There is a very strong possibility that you are going to want to kill people for blood. Do you get that?’
She looked away for a moment then returned the gaze. Something about her was different and it scared the shit out of him.
‘Steven, we can’t change anything now. We’ve just got to see how we go. If what you say is true and we don’t age then we’ll move at the right time. Right now, we’re the perfect age for university. Why would I want to leave everything I’ve worked for? Why would you? I’m sure you wanted your life back just as much as you wanted to see me again.’
Again, she made perfect sense. Flummoxed by her accurate assessment, he grinned. ‘I wish you’d been with me when I changed. Your common sense would have been a breath of fresh air.’
She tapped her nose and let go of his hand. ‘A woman’s perspective.’ She sprang off the sofa and paced the room.
He got up and stood in her path. ‘You’re like a Duracell bunny. Endless energy. Let’s go for a run. It might help.’
Her eyes came alight. ‘I’m in.’
Before she could run off, he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. ‘I won’t keep you long.’ He leant in and kissed her. Caitlin froze, her lips barely moved in response. He eased off and saw her eyes were closed. He stroked her face with his hand. ‘All I wanted last year was to have my life back and all everyone told me was that it was impossible. And yet, here you are, with a different way of life in front of you, and you don’t even blink. Nothing is impossible for you, is it?’
Caitlin opened her eyes, her cheeks now a pinkish colour. ‘I did have a few moments last year when I thought I wouldn’t get to grips with maths. I’m not perfect.’
‘You are for me.’ It was corny but true. She gave a reluctant smile, so he changed the conversation. ‘By the way, that reminds me of something. You know any issues you had with maths are now a thing of the past.’
‘Really?’
‘Are you game to see how advanced you’ve become?’
‘Sure.’ Her eyes were really wide, animated.
He enjoyed testing her. ‘Okay, what’s one million, four thousand and thirty three times twenty four?’
‘Twenty four million, ninety six thousand, seven hundred and ninety two,’ she blurted out immediately.
She stared at him with huge eyes and shook her head. ‘How did I do that?’ Then it dawned on her. ‘Hang on a minute, now I get why you became very good at maths. She punched his shoulder and frowned. ‘What a cheater.’
He rubbed his shoulder. ‘Ouch. Anyway, I was not cheating, I just know things quickly now. And actually, so do you. So, if we did go back to uni you would also be cheating, big time.’
‘Well, I definitely want to go back now. I’d love to get a first, my parents would be thrilled.’
Backfire.
‘So, you want to try to live normally then? Even if we could end up doing something we regret?’
‘Definitely. If you think about it logically, some people make bad decisions every day. That doesn’t mean they give up on life does it?’
‘No, you’re right. And you’re very wise.’
Caitlin placed her hands on her hips. ‘So, are we going for that run now or what?’
‘Sure.’
The pictures on the walls of the corridor haunted Steven as they walked past. There were so many memories of a different time, black and white and frayed at the edges. He did not recognise the people in the pictures, but he imagined they were his ancestors. Something about the young man in particular reminded him of his grandfather. He looked important in his suit and bowler hat. He knew so little about them. He wished he’d asked more questions. It was too late now. He had no idea what the others would say when they found out what he’d done.
Back to Table of Contents
Chapter 42
Doubts
Everything felt the same and yet it was different. It was hard for Caitlin to put what she was feeling into distinct thoughts. She was still Caitlin, the same person. Yet, for the first time in her life she didn’t have a care in the world. Everything was possible. The world was her oyster, she was filled with a sense of empowerment – I can change the world mentality. She understood why Steven was giving her an anxious stare. He had probably always been like that. It’s what came with a private education. Everyone she had met at university that had not gone to a state school had it to an extent. Some called it arrogance, she called it confidence. Not outer confidence, a lot of people had that – inner confidence, the one that mattered.
Now, she had it too.
Right now, all she wanted to do was run. She had way too much energy. If she did not let some of it go she was sure she was going to explode. Steven ran alongside her, his face serious.
Caitlin knew she had acted indifferent at the house. She did not dare tell him at the moment, but the truth was she did feel different. She was not overwhelmed anymore, love confused her. She still thought he was attractive, definitely. The thing was she was not in awe of him anymore. Something had changed the way she felt about him. She had no idea what it meant or how she was going to deal with it. It was best to put it to the back of her mind – for now.
Her eyes focused on the trees ahead as she remembered how crazy she had become. She was sure she must have resembled a wild animal. The insanity still bubbled within her like a dormant volcano, a jumble of irrational thoughts lingered.
The bottom line was she had decided to let him change her. It was not Steven’s fault. It had happened in a fit of passion. Honestly, she had no regrets. This way of life made her think of infinite possibilities. Just the academic side alone was mind boggling. The fact she would look the same forever was also a plus. She wondered if she was capable of gaining weight. It was interesting. She didn’t think she would gorge herself on chocolate to test the theory, tempting though it was.
‘Caitlin, we need to talk. Can you slow down?’
Caitlin wanted to carry on running, but she knew she had to let him in. She slowed to a jog, then a steady walk. ‘What’s up Steven?’ It sounded snappy, she attempted a smile.
Steven walked alongside her and remained quiet for a minute or so. She could have added something but it was easier to let him talk.
‘Is something wrong? Are you still angry with me? You seem distant. Not like usual.’
Caitlin knew she could blow her cover in an instant so she held her tongue. She did not want to hurt him. She stopped walking and turned to face him. ‘I’m not angry with you.’
Steven gave an uneasy smile. ‘That’s good.’
> Caitlin remembered there had been a time when the smile had made her melt, now it did nothing. She did not think it was a good thing.
‘So, what is it?’ He held out his hand and took hold of one of hers.
Her hand lay limp in his, the contact made her freeze internally. Just like the kiss earlier. She did not want him. She had no idea what she was going to do. She eased her hands away, put them behind her back and started to walk. She could not handle the proximity. It was difficult. She did not hear him follow for a few seconds. She chose not to look back.
‘Caitlin,’ he called.
She stopped, looked over her shoulder and gave a nervous smile. Then she started to run again. Now her stomach churned. She could not believe it. How was it possible to be in love with someone one minute and then not the next? She could not understand what had happened. Their plan to be together forever had backfired. If she could not see him as more than a friend there was no future for them. She had no idea where it left her. She could not tell him what she was thinking, she needed time.
***
Steven’s jaw dropped as he saw Caitlin run off. He was not stupid. Something was wrong. She was so cold, indifferent even. And he could tell she was keeping something back. He had no idea what he should do. She was a potential killer. He had made her that way. He should have waited. It was stupid, reckless. Lust had driven him to make the wrong choice. If he lost Caitlin it would kill him. He knew the effect of rejection; he had seen it enough times from the other side. It was his turn to be on the receiving end.
He started to run after Caitlin. He stayed behind and watched, intrigued to see where she would go. When they got to the edge of a clearing Caitlin stopped. He came up alongside her and saw what she was looking at. It was the New Forest ponies, at ease, eating grass. There had to be about twenty in total ranging from mottled brown and white to black in colour.
‘They are so cute,’ Caitlin said. Her childish stance was back as she cupped her hands together in glee.
‘They are.’ He did not look at her.
‘Steven, I’m sorry. I’m not myself okay. Give me some time.’ Caitlin sounded worried as she flicked her hair to the side and played with a strand. It was nice to see a familiar habit.
‘It’s okay. I can’t expect too much from you.’ He wanted to ask if she still loved him. He wanted to know. He just didn’t want to hear the answer.
‘I’m thirsty. What should I do?’
‘We can go back to the house if you like.’
‘No, I mean I’m thirsty. You know. Even though the thought of drinking pony blood should appal me right now, it doesn’t.’
That kind of thirsty, she did have other needs. Steven knew taking down a pony in the middle of the New Forest was not the best way to remain incognito. ‘We’ll go and find some rabbits. I make a mean rabbit stew.’
Her shoulders slumped. ‘A rabbit!’
‘No-one keeps an eye on rabbit counts. We need to feed on what we can eat. It’s easier. If you get hurt then we’ll have to consider an alternative. Until then, we stick to rabbits.’
‘Okay then. Bugs bunny is not going to be happy with us.’
He chuckled. The Caitlin he knew. ‘I’ll have to find a way to make it up to him.’
The rabbit hunt proved successful. They managed to catch four in total. Steven eyed Caitlin as she drained her rabbit of blood.
With a lick of her lips, she glanced at him and shook her head. ‘What?’
‘Told you rabbit blood was nice.’
‘Smarty pants. It is revitalising. Blood leaves me satisfied in a different way to food. It’s weird.’ She put the rabbits on the floor and leant on her knees, her legs crossed.
‘I know. I am still getting used to it myself. I don’t have a problem killing rabbits.’
She studied him and bit her lip. ‘Will I have to kill people?’
‘Not necessarily.’ He did not know how much to tell her. She still needed time.
‘Why not?’ She picked up a twig and started to make patterns on the soil.
‘We know monkey blood also has healing powers.’
She threw the twig and clenched her hands into fists. ‘So monkeys are better than people. I don’t think so. There are a lot of people who’d be better off dead.’
Steven swallowed hard and took a deep breath. This was worse than he thought. ‘Caitlin, you can’t say that. You can’t decide like that. A person is usually tracked or missed. You can’t make the call.’
She glared at him, defiant. ‘What if they were homeless? No-one cares about them when they walk past them in the street. They’re just glad it’s not them.’
His anger bubbled to the surface. ‘Caitlin! Do you really think that?’
‘If it was my life or theirs, then yes.’
Steven gasped, speechless. He had created a monster. ‘The only reason I was allowed to come back was because of my firm commitment to preserving life. We are not God. You cannot decide who lives and dies. It would make you a killer.’
Caitlin picked up a different twig and started to trace another pattern on the soil as she hummed a tune. She was zoning him out. Not good.
‘Caitlin, do you understand what I just said.’ It was like he was speaking to a child.
She looked up sharply, gave a hard stare, and said, ‘Crystal.’ Then she carried on humming and drawing, lost.
Steven got up and paced. He punched the tree, frustrated.
Caitlin looked up and laughed. ‘You don’t have to take it out on the tree, you know. It’s innocent.’ There was a hint of sarcasm in the tone.
Steven’s blood pounded as his sense of utter bemusement became exacerbated. He knelt down next to her and put his hand on her wrist. When she looked up, he asked, ‘What have I done to you?’
‘I’m still Caitlin. I just don’t love people as much as you do. I haven’t grown up in a bubble where everyone is nice and fluffy. I actually hate quite a lot of people and have often wished some dead. Now I can make it a reality. Call me a killer if you will.’
Steven let go of her hand, his eyes widened in horror.
‘Don’t look at me like that!’ She stood up and put her hands on her hips. ‘I don’t intend to kill people. All I’m saying is that I would never value a monkey’s life over that of a person. Why is that so bad?’
He blinked and pursed his lips. She had a point again. She sounded like everyone else in the community. Was it him that had the problem?
‘I understand what you are saying.’ His head hung low. His acquiescence came at a price. ‘Let’s take these back. I don’t think we should be out in the open when you’re thinking what you are. I’m not saying you don’t have a point, just that I don’t want you to go to prison for murder just yet.’
She laughed aloud and dropped her hands. Then she leant down picked up the two rabbits and slung them over her shoulder. ‘Race you back.’ And like that she was gone.
Steven picked up his own pair and made chase. He was totally freaked out. The Caitlin he thought he knew was not the one he did. In truth, they had not known each other for that long. She had never shared her thoughts on people with him. She did mull over things and get annoyed more than he did. But he never thought she would see murder as honourable or an alternative way out. He could not believe some of the things she had said. For a moment there he could have replaced Emily for her and it would have made sense.
Ian was not like that, Jeff was not like that. But the women were. Emily, Ingrid, Catherine, Judith. They all found it hard. Was that why Judith had refused to drink human blood? Was she tired of what she was? Did she want to makes amends? Then again, if she knew what she had become then why would she allow Steven to do the same to Caitlin. Was it her conscience? Did she owe it to Emily? Had he been a fool? Had he failed to consider all of the consequences? He had wanted Caitlin back so badly he had forgotten about the possible outcomes. He had created Caitlin and now it was his responsibility to make sure she did not abuse his gift.
<
br /> Gift.
He could not believe he was thinking like Ian. Perhaps he had more in common with his uncle than he originally thought.
Back to Table of Contents
Chapter 43
The Girl Becomes A Woman
In the past Caitlin was convinced she failed to meet the mark. She was never the cleverest in the class or the prettiest or the most popular. Just above average, a good achiever. That was now in the past. The future looked rosy. She was fed up of being miss goody two shoes. She wanted to rock and roll. To turn a few heads. She would go back to university and finish her course. She would get a first, the best result possible. She would be popular. She would be the girl everyone wanted to be.
There was only one person stopping her – Steven. Was he supposed to be the love of her life? Or was it just his hybrid nature that had seduced her?
Not anymore. The magnets had died.
Was it permanent? She had no idea. At the moment she was not attracted to him. It left her confused, yet excited. Would she be able to seduce others like he had seduced her? She had never been that kind of girl. Could she be? A part of her was curious, very curious indeed.
Back at the house, she dropped the rabbits on the kitchen table and thought of Georgina. Georgina loved rabbits. Her first year flatmate had died because of what she had become. Her shy, quiet friend had not deserved to die. She had been targeted because she was vulnerable. She was someone no-one would miss. In the end, people would nod their heads and think it was sad, but understandable. It was sick. Steven could not justify those actions. Not that he tried to, but she would never kill someone who did not deserve to die.
Steven did, however, have a point. Who was she to choose? Then again, if they had to choose, who would be missed? A student death was so easy to fake, yet she could not be that cruel. She made her way into the living room and picked up the book she found interesting, if educational. She found a comfy place on the sofa and switched off. It was the perfect way to unwind, a good place to escape in. She heard Steven, but she kept her nose down.
The Evolution Trilogy: Hybrid, Complications & Return Page 59