“I’ve trusted her with every secret I’ve had since I was eight.”
“Then it’s up to you if you tell her. I won’t ask you not to. My best friends know, there’s no reason yours shouldn’t know, too.”
“You have a good point.”
He winked. “I usually do.”
“Modest. Very nice.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.
“Only to see you get flustered.”
“Ha-ha. I think we’ve talked about me enough for now. What about you? What were you like as a kid?”
He picked his fork back up. “Not that it would come as a surprise, but I was the dorky music kid. In a band every year of school since I could pick up an instrument.”
“How many instruments do you play?”
“Five.”
My mouth practically hit the table. “Five?”
Heath nodded and ticked off each one on his fingers. “Keyboard, guitar, piano, trumpet, and the saxophone.”
“I couldn’t even figure out how to play the recorder in school and you can play five different instruments?”
“I’m sure there are plenty of things you’re good at.”
Making a mess of my life maybe. “Nothing I’ve found yet.”
“We all don’t find it when we’re kids.”
“I guess.” Not really wanting to get into all my shortcomings, I asked another question. “Did you always know you wanted to be in a band?”
“No. Not really. I knew I wanted to make music, but until I ended up with Sawyer as a roommate, being in a band was only one of many options.”
I glanced down at my phone to see the time. As much as I enjoyed spending time with Heath, I knew I had to be at work soon for the lunch rush.
“I have to go home and get ready for work.”
For a moment, he looked like he wanted to argue, but he stopped himself. He asked the waitress for the check and turned back to me.
“You said you only have one shift at the diner tonight, right? Can I take you to dinner?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“You’re right, I don’t have to do that, but I want to. I have less than a week to spend time with you and get to know you better.”
“Dinner sounds great, but can we do takeout at my place?”
The dimple on his left side appeared. “Anything you want. What kind of food would you like?”
“Surprise me. Not sure what will be a winner tonight.”
He gestured toward my plate. “Looks like strawberry pancakes are good.”
“That’s for today. There’s no telling if the baby will like them tomorrow.”
The waitress dropped off the check and Heath pulled money out of his wallet. I grabbed my purse to give him money. I’d picked this place knowing the prices weren’t that expensive. Plus, I had a little extra tip money from the night before and Heath’s more than generous tip on a handful of drinks. He didn’t have to tip me, but when I tried to give it back to him, he’d refused. Paying for breakfast was another way I could give it back to him.
When I took my wallet out he shook his head. “Don’t even think about it. I asked you out to breakfast, it’s my treat.”
I took out the money he’d given me the night before. “I have the money. Some rock star gave me a great tip last night.”
“Not so you could use it to buy me breakfast. I’ve got this one.”
I wanted to be mad at him, to argue that I could pay my own way, but reality was, any extra money helped pay off my debt. So instead of bitching him out, I put my wallet away and thanked him for breakfast.
The independent part of me had to remember this wasn’t the first time Heath paid for something and it wouldn’t be the last. He’d have to spend the next eighteen years giving me money to buy stuff for the baby. It was just something I had to get used to. On the drive back to my place, a million questions popped into my head, but none of them really fell into the getting to know you category. I kept my gaze focused out the window, my fingers fidgeting with the strap of my purse.
“Just ask me whatever it is you want to know.”
I glanced over and could see the corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk.
“How did you know I wanted to ask you something?”
He reached over and slid the purse strap from my hands. “You’re fidgeting. The night we sat with your grandmother, you held her hand with one hand and played with the sheets with the other.”
My gaze snapped to him. “You saw that. I didn’t even realize I was doing that.”
He pulled up out front of my house and turned to me. “You did it when I realized I was sitting in your section last night. You kept twirling the menu in your hands.”
He’d been paying attention. I don’t know why it came as a surprise, then again most of the things Heath had done since I’d met him had come as a surprise. He wasn’t like other guys I’d known over the years. And that was a good thing. Most of the guys I dated were more interested in themselves. I can guarantee none of them would have noticed one of my nervous habits.
He brushed a piece of hair away from my face and I shivered at his touch. “So what did you want to ask me?”
What did I want to ask? Shit. I hadn’t a damn clue. One touch and I was a bumbling mess. Time to get it together. I needed a wall to protect myself from this man before I let things get too far. I could see myself falling for someone like him and only end up getting hurt in the end.
“Oh, I was wondering if the rest of the band knows where you are.”
“Reagan and Sawyer do.”
My chest tightened. Only two of the band members knew? And Reagan wasn’t even part of the band. He was already hiding what had happened from them.
“Don’t overthink that.”
“Overthink what?”
“I can see your mind spinning at a million miles an hour. You think I’m hiding it from everyone else. Which isn’t true. I stopped and talked to Reagan and Sawyer before I left. I didn’t get a chance to talk to anyone else if I was going to make my flight out here.”
There I was jumping to conclusions again. I needed to get out of this car and get some distance from this man. Apparently, my brain didn’t work when we were in such close proximity. Being trapped in the car, the scent of his cologne surrounded me and I couldn’t think straight.
“Makes sense.” I reached for the handle on the door.
His laid a hand on my arm. “Do you want me to give you a ride to work?”
I shook my head. The last thing I needed was to spend more time enclosed in the car with him. That would not help clear my head.
“What time will you be home tonight?”
For a moment, I almost told him not to come over. This infatuation, and that was exactly what it was an infatuation, needed to end. Being away from him would give me time to make a new plan on how I would deal with him. Then I could set new ground rules when he came for dinner.
“I should be home by seven.”
“I’ll be here with dinner.”
Without a word, I climbed out of the car and walked up the path to the door. Time for me to seem less dependent on him now. I didn’t look back, but I could hear the car still behind me as I put the key into the lock and went inside. After I shut the door, I peeked out the front window and saw Heath drive away. I turned and slumped down onto the couch.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I asked the empty room.
Leaning my head back, I knew I was in a shit-ton of trouble if I didn’t figure out how to deal with Heath. If I’d had the money, I might have contacted that lawyer about setting up child support payments, but we both knew it was an empty threat. I didn’t have that kind of cash. I’d hoped he’d offer to have his lawyer set them up and go on with his life as if nothing had changed. Not that it was fair to me to raise a baby by myself, but the alternative was staring me in the face.
I was still attracted to Heath.
And it wasn’t just a physical attraction. The more ti
me I spent with him, the more I wanted to know about his life. What he did, where he was going. A glutton for punishment was what I was. Having Heath around and a part of my life asked for a world of hurt. I knew I could fall for him, but I had to find a way to keep that from happening.
Under no circumstances could I let myself fall under Heath’s spell.
CHAPTER 16
Heath
As I pulled away from the curb, I wondered about the change in attitude I saw in Jenna. She had been different in the car ride home than she’d been in the diner. Had I said something wrong? Had she felt sick and didn’t want to say anything?
That was the hard part. Trying to figure out a woman I spent one night with and a lot of that was at the bedside of her dying grandmother. What little I knew about her came from watching her while she spoke, but I didn’t know every one of her tells. I’d opened my mouth to argue about giving her a ride, but with the firm set of her shoulders I figured it would be pointless.
I’d talk to her about it tonight. I couldn’t help her if she wouldn’t tell me what was bothering her. As an only child I’d never been around someone who was pregnant before.
With hours before she’d be done for the night, I decided to head back to my hotel. Yesterday, I planned to look at apartments after breakfast, but without Jenna’s guidance I didn’t have a clue where the best choice would be in the city. I’d seen a few but who knew which one would be the better choice.
A place close to her house was ideal. I could always call a realtor, but I didn’t want to put my name on a damn thing. Last thing I needed while trying to get to know Jenna better was for some local realtor to tell a friend or family member who rented the place. People loved to boast about that shit. Right now, the only people who knew I was in town were Doug, Marcus, and Jenna. And I wanted it to stay that way.
My phone started ringing from the speakers in the car. Seeing Sawyer’s name on the screen, I hit the Bluetooth connection on the car’s steering wheel.
“Hey, man, what’s up?”
“Just calling in to check on you. How are things going with Jenna?” Sawyer asked.
“Man, I don’t even know where to start. Reagan was able to get her insurance but she’s fighting me tooth and nail on everything else.”
“She doesn’t want you to be part of the baby’s life?” There was a hard tone to Sawyer’s voice. The man was loyal to the core.
“No, nothing like that. She’s so damn independent. Doesn’t know how to accept help from anyone.”
Laughter filled the phone. “I think I know someone with those qualities.”
“Shut up, asshole. You know what I mean. I’m not fucking pregnant. What do I need help with? She won’t even let me drive her to work.”
“What do you need help with? You’re going to be a dad in seven months’ time. I think you need a fuck-ton of help. Not to mention it’s time for you to tell everyone else what the hell is going on. They’ve been asking where you are.”
I rolled my eyes. “This conversation sounds like déjà vu to me. Except I seem to remember having to wait years for you to fess up.”
Sawyer told me he was gay early in our freshman year. After we formed the band, I kept waiting for him to tell everyone else. As our popularity grew I had to beg him to let the cat out of the bag before the paparazzi did it for him.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve already apologized for all that.”
I turned into the parking lot of the hotel. “Don’t worry, I was going back to the hotel to call everyone. I figured you guys should be stopping soon for food. That or Monty’s going to start whining through text.”
“The texts have already started. That’s why I called. We’re getting ready to pull over and I didn’t want to have to make excuses again.”
I closed my eyes and rested my head against the seat. “Give me five minutes to get upstairs. Get everyone over to your bus and Skype me when you’re ready.”
“I can do that. Are you sure?”
I opened my eyes and looked at the high-rise building before me. “Yeah. Maybe they’ll have ideas on how to get Jenna to trust me and let me help.”
Sawyer chuckled. “Man, you might want to figure out that one on your own. She sounds a lot like you and we aren’t usually very successful at getting you to let us help.”
“This is different.”
“If you say so. I’ll call you in ten.”
I climbed out of the car and went directly to the elevator once I stepped inside the hotel. Ignoring the marble floors and ornate metal accents, I climbed inside and hit the button for my floor. It didn’t take long for the doors to open and I stepped out into the long hall. Tables with flowers and mirrors sat at intervals down the length of it.
I locked the door behind me and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. The baseball cap landed on the edge of the coffee table. Man, was I tired of wearing it, but it was the best way to hide my hair. The trait that gave me away first to a crowd of fans. I shook out my long locks, wondering if cutting them would make me more inconspicuous. Maybe for a little while. Eventually they’d find something else to focus on.
Definitely not worth it.
My phone rang again. Running a hand through my hair, I answered, watching as the faces of the members of Jaded Ivory appeared on the screen.
They all seemed to speak at once. “Where the hell are you?” “Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving?” “Will you be back in time for our next show?”
I held my hands up, slowing the onslaught of questions. “Slow down and I’ll explain everything.”
Jackson, Mari, and Monty looked at one another before turning back to face me.
“What’s going on?” Mari asked.
I ran a hand through my hair. It felt good to not have it hidden under the baseball cap. “Remember that night I took the server from Marcus’s club to the hospital to see her grandmother?”
“Yeah,” Jackson said. “Wasn’t that the poor girl the dick in the club was fucking with?”
“That’s her.”
Monty shook his head. “I don’t get what she has to do with any of this. You took her to the hospital. So what?”
Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t just take her to the hospital, did you?”
“No. I took her home that night.”
I didn’t need to spell out that we’d slept together. I could see as the truth registered in each of their eyes. Monty was the first one to speak up. “You slept with her, so what? You have to fly across the country to get a little pussy?”
I wanted to smack the little shit upside the back of the head. Even though I knew what Monty was like, something about the way he talked about Jenna rubbed me the wrong way. Thankfully, Jackson and Sawyer smacked him from either side.
“Don’t be a dick,” Sawyer said as the same time Jackson looked back at me and said, “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”
Mari’s gaze snapped around to mine. “Is she?”
“She is.”
“Shit,” Jackson breathed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “What are you gonna do?”
“Take care of what’s mine. She’s willing to do it all on her own, with financial support, but I can’t have a kid who knows nothing about me running around the world.”
Jackson rested his hand on the back of his neck. “Don’t take this the wrong way man, but are you sure the kid’s yours? I mean, with some of the women we meet, I wouldn’t put it past them.”
As much as it pissed me off to hear Jackson question it, the same as it did when Sawyer and Reagan had, I knew it was coming from a good place. He didn’t want to see me get hurt by this. He was just trying to look out for me.
“I’m sure. The condom broke. I didn’t anything of it at the time since she was on the pill. Neither of us expected the pill pack to fail.”
“Man,” Jackson whispered.
“Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing out there,” Monty said.
I couldn’t blame him either. Onl
y Sawyer knew anything about the struggle my dad went through to send me to college. “I want to be there for my kid and the best way to do that is to get to know their mother. I want him or her to know me and not just as the guy who sends cash and presents on holidays. If I’m gonna be a dad, I’m going to be there for whatever they need.” I looked up at Sawyer. “Sawyer can tell you more about my childhood, which should explain why this is so important to me.”
“What’s she like?” Mari asked.
The woman always amazed me. For someone who suffered years of mental abuse at the hands of her peers, she still had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. At the moment, I couldn’t have appreciated her more.
“She’s stubborn. Independent. Refuses to stop working even though I could take care of it. She has trouble accepting help from others.”
Laughter burst from the screen in all directions and I couldn’t help but notice the smug looks on Sawyer’s and Reagan’s faces.
Monty couldn’t stop laughing as he said, “Then you’ve met your match.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can accept help from people.”
Jackson shook his head. “No, you can’t.”
“He’s right,” Mari agreed.
“No, he’s—”
She smirked. “Yeah, he is. You helped Cole when I was ignoring him. You helped convince Sawyer to talk to Jackson and Monty about Reagan.” She sobered. “You’re always looking out for everyone else and it appears she’s just like you. What’s her name?”
“Jenna.”
“Aw, shit man. You’re sunk.” Monty chuckled.
“What’s that supposed to me? Why am I sunk?”
He tsked. “Didn’t you hear the wistful way her name rolled off your lips?”
I replayed it in my head. Damn, he was right, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of admitting that out loud.
“Whatever, man. For now, I plan on spending the week getting to know her before I fly back for our next show.”
Mari smiled. “I think that’s a good idea. Especially since we still have five months left.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’ll probably fly back any long break I can. She’s struggling with morning sickness. I wish I could be here more to help.”
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