All the people we met said that I had talent, but none of them could figure out just what to do with me. I remember one of the meetings was with a Sony executive right in the heart of Times Square. “David,” he said, “there is no question that you have talent, but in all sincerity, I don’t know what to do with you. You’re a little white kid from Utah who sings with the soul of a black R & B singer who grew up in the gospel world. But I think you’re too young right now. Here’s what I suggest: Learn how to play some instruments and learn how to write.” He, like most of the people we met, said that if I did all of these things, by the time I was old enough for anything serious to happen, I would be better prepared to take it all on with a more focused approach. They also kept reminding me that my voice still hadn’t gone through “the change” yet either. So right now, I was simply too much of a kid to make anything happen. (Coincidentally, we also had a meeting at Def Jam with Jeff Fenster, who years later would end up becoming my A & R rep at Jive Records. So even though I was too young then for anything to really happen, I guess the seeds were somehow being planted!)
We decided to go back home and try to follow some of the advice we were given in New York. I started to play the piano again, something I hadn’t really done since we left Florida because we didn’t have a piano when we first got to Utah. My playing felt rusty and unsophisticated compared to some of the kids in my neighborhood who had studied for years with a well-known teacher and now played at a very high level. I felt I had so much catching up to do and didn’t feel I could compete. My parents would tell me not to compare myself and reminded me that this was part of the process and not to worry, I was really young and had plenty of time to just have fun learning as much as I could about notes and words and music.
I had no choice but to sit tight and continue developing myself as a singer with no expectations. I knew that something important was starting to brew. That year was magically bizarre: I went from crying my eyes out backstage at the Utah talent show, to meeting AJ Gil at the Jenny Jones Show, to singing for Natalie Cole, Tamyra Gray and Kelly Clarkson (and a bunch of other strangers all over L.A.), to seeing the first-ever finale of Idol live, to taking meetings up on a top floor of a New York City skyscraper. I couldn’t understand how or why this was happening and how I got to experience it all. It’s just me, just David. But at the same time I knew I also had to start believing that it was all happening for a reason. What the reason was, I had no idea, but I knew that I was going to keep trusting, keep the faith, and go with the flow. If nothing else, at least I felt a bit more comfortable about the idea of walking onto a stage and that I did not have to be afraid of it, and that meant the beginning of all kinds of possibilities.
Learning to play an instrument definitely allowed me to connect with songs on a deeper level.
CHAPTER 4
BUMPS IN THE ROAD
“Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.”
—NAPOLEON HILL
Very soon after we returned from New York, we got a phone call from one of our new friends, Diane, who we had met in California. She said they were bringing back the show Star Search and were having auditions coming up in November, and she encouraged us to come down. We gave it some thought and in the end decided it would be a good idea. So two months after part one of the crazy Los Angeles whirlwind, we headed back for what would be part two. I went on my audition with a little more confidence than I’d had before and it seemed to go well, but this time I didn’t get a call back. I wasn’t upset or anything; in fact, I wasn’t surprised because I believed what they had told me in New York about being too young and inexperienced. Some of the other kids were really impressive and some of them even already had managers and vocal coaches with them. I felt like I was perhaps out of my league, but by now, my dad thought differently. He was confident that I was good enough and tried to reassure me, but in my mind, I just knew I wasn’t good enough yet to compete with a lot of the talent out there. I felt I was always very realistic and didn’t kid myself about my limitations.
I was probably 13 here, at an event
Anyway, the new 2002 version of Star Search had Arsenio Hall as the host, along with house judges Ben Stein, Naomi Judd, and a special guest judge. This CBS revival would include four series the first year, and a single series the second year. During the first three series, two new competitors would face off in each category (which were Adult Singer, Junior Singer, Comedy, Dance and Modeling). The three judges and one celebrity guest judge would give each contestant a score from one to five stars, for a maximum score of twenty. During the commercial breaks, the home audience could go online to rate the competitors who’d just performed, which allowed each performer to earn up to another twenty stars. “Hit me with the digits!” Arsenio would holler just as the results of each home audience score were about to be revealed. When the scores were tallied, the performer with the higher score would be the winner of that category. If it was a tie, Arsenio would read off each performer’s score rounded to the nearest hundredth. That performer would then go on to the next round of competition. After the first three series, a fourth one called “Battle of the Champions” took place, where the winners of each category were brought back to compete for a single show; winner takes all $100,000 cash prize.
It was a fresh start to an old show, keeping the spirit of Idol. In fact, Star Search kicked off at the same time as Idol’s second season. I remember watching and understanding clearly why I hadn’t made the cut. These kids were amazing, belting out tunes like grown adults who already knew things about music that intimidated me and made me feel glad I didn’t get called back just to be embarrassed! We watched the first whole five-week season totally impressed by the diversity of talent, awed by the range the young contestants all seemed to show. I was amazed at how many wonderful singers there were out there and blown away by the way they were able to relate to the songs they were singing. They seemed like complete professionals out there, charged with the kind of confidence I’d always wished for. It was both inspiring and humbling, which definitely helped me realize that if I wanted to get to that level, I would need to start working really hard.
But things never happen exactly how you think they will, because, out of nowhere, as the season wrapped up we got a call from Seth Riggs, who had been hired by CBS to work with the contestants in the Star Search finale. He told us that a second season was already in the works and that he had been asked to refer some new talent for that cycle. He recommended me, and shortly afterward we got a call asking for a video of me singing. We quickly sent it in and had to send in two more videos until, to our surprise and excitement, we got the green light: They wanted me on the show for the second season! Within three days we were back in L.A.
I honestly feel that the whole Star Search thing was able to happen at all because of how much Idol influenced me, which is why I like to joke that I was trained in the “School of American Idol.” By featuring so many different types of people trying to tackle such a wide range of songs on the show, I think Idol gave us a mini-crash course in musicology, which broadened my sense of what kinds of songs to sing and expanded my idea of how to individualize music. But, of course, I was still very much afraid and full of self-doubt, because I didn’t think I was as good a singer as the kids I’d seen perform on the show. Though I had sung for many audiences, not since Jenny Jones had I performed for a television audience, and I felt there was a serious risk of humiliating myself.
This would be our third trip to California and it started to feel like L.A. was our home away from home. Although I felt scared every time, each visit made me feel more and more excited about my desire to become a better singer. I tried to remember to always see my performances as opportunities to get better and share my talent. And even though I was afraid, once I started to sing, I’d go into some kind of peaceful, stress-free state where all that mattered was the sound of the music and the feelings that it carried. Those fe
elings would always overpower any fear that crept up.
Another uncomfortable feeling I had to deal with was the feeling of guilt when someone I thought of as more talented than me would lose out. For example, there were three kids auditioning for Star Search with me, and only two of us would get chosen for the show. I was sure I wouldn’t make it but I did. Now I felt terrible, because I really thought one of the others was a lot better than me. Then I saw her crying and it kind of broke my heart. I just couldn’t shake this feeling that I might have taken something away from someone who deserved it more. I couldn’t handle how sad that poor girl was. I knew she had worked just as hard as I had. I never felt like I was good enough to win and almost felt embarrassed when I did. In a way, I didn’t even think I belonged there to begin with. I loved singing so much, but when that meant competing and beating out other people, that’s when it got a bit weird for me. It has nothing to do with humility; I just saw it as unfair.
But I would try to shake off these nagging negative feelings, and instead focus on the idea that this was all part of my training and education as a lover of music and aspiring singer. For the preliminary round, I chose to sing The Jackson 5’s “Who’s Loving You?” I remember Hilary Duff was the guest judge, and she smiled so sweetly throughout my entire song. The person I was competing against was Anna Maria Perez de Tagle who later was on Hannah Montana and in the movie Camp Rock. Then for the semifinal round, I was up against two girls, Joelle James who made the Top 24 on season six of Idol, and Tori Kelly who just barely didn’t make it to the Top 24 but made it through Hollywood Week of season nine. They both were so amazing; I knew I didn’t have a chance to make it through to the final, but I figured I’d just give it my best. I picked for my song, “Fallin’” by Alicia Keyes and tried to put my own twist on it. Joelle was amazing, but she was sick that week and I felt really bad for her that she wasn’t at 100%, but she still sounded amazing singing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” Tori then sang the song “Blessed” by Rachel Lampa, and I figured I had had a great time and wasn’t going to feel bad if I didn’t make it past the semi. When the voting came in after commercial break, the scores were so close that Tori and I actually tied. It came down to fractions, and when the final tally came in, I had won by less than two-tenths of a point! I couldn’t believe it! Could this have really happened? Did I really deserve to be the one moving on? I was extremely happy, but I felt like something had gone wrong. There was no way I should have been able to beat them both. After the semi, I found out I was going to be in the finals against a girl named Molly. I chose the song “You’re All I Need to Get By” which I first heard Kelly Clarkson sing on American Idol. I later found out that it was performed by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell and that Aretha Franklin had also recorded it. My dad and I worked out an arrangement that combined some ideas from both versions as well as some original ideas that would make the song my own. I felt it was my best performance and I really had a great time putting my all into it decked out in my then favorite leather jacket! When the final scores came back, I couldn’t believe that I had won! I got straight 5s from the judges and it was my chance to feel I had achieved a dream that was unimaginable just a few weeks earlier when I was sitting at home watching in amazement the very same people I had competed against, and now having to pinch myself because somehow I had become the Junior Vocal champion.
things never happen exactly how you think they will
But what might have been a celebration was quickly stunted by the news of the Iraq War. All regular television programming was interrupted and the networks collectively switched to news coverage. So really not many people got to hear me sing that night, and there was no special party or celebration after the winner was crowned.
The night of my final appearance happened to be the same night the Iraqi war started. As a result, they ended our show after the junior vocals and dancers had performed, and the show wasn’t even aired for most of the country. So unless you lived on the east coast, you probably would not have seen my final performance. The final episode of our season ended as part of the first show of the third season, which sounds confusing, but because they had to cut the show short previously, they had to combine the last part of the show with the first show of season three. It was the only way they could make it work. After the third season was over, they called us back to be part of a special one night “Battle of the Champions” episode. They had the three winners from each previous cycle to compete for another $100,000. It was back to Los Angeles again for us. We were starting to really get comfortable with the routine and understood that being a singer would include a lot of travel and hectic moving around. It was exciting and exhausting, but it was a lot of fun. I got to know the other kids very well as we went to school every day on the set and had a great time getting to know one another. We had all already won our season, so none of us really felt like it was a competition, but more of a chance to sing one last time. I chose to sing “I Surrender” by Celine Dion for this round, and though I was not expecting to do well at all, I managed to get some great comments from the judges even though I didn’t win. I managed to end up as the Junior Vocal Champion on Star Search 2, losing the Junior Grand Champion “Battle of the Champions” title to Tiffany Evans. She was over-the-top amazing and I saw it as a good thing that I hadn’t won, because in all honesty I couldn’t imagine winning against her. It felt great just to be considered at her level, and the chance to sing with her once again was totally flattering to me.
In fact, even though I sang okay that night, I kind of knew I wasn’t going to win. I wasn’t disappointed because I knew that I’d given it my all but just wasn’t the best singer there. So was I sad or bummed out? It was never about winning for me. What I cared about was just having one more opportunity to share my talent and perform. Two years earlier in Utah, I was terrified to walk onto a stage, and here I was in Hollywood, much more calm and excited every time I held a microphone in my hand. Not a bad result!
After Star Search finished in May, we stayed in Hollywood for a few weeks, and I recorded a demo version of my first song written for me by my dad and an amazing songwriter friend, Sunny Hilden (another friend we met during that magical weekend of the Idol finale), called “Dream Sky High.” It was an inspirational song about angels, and I really enjoyed singing it. We also had a chance to meet with several attorneys and producers to learn a little more about the music business and see if having won Star Search would open any new doors for me. It still seemed that I was probably not quite ready to actually try to get a record deal so we went home. I went back to school for my sixth-grade year and prepared to start my next school year in seventh grade. While I was home for the summer just being a normal kid, I got really sick one night and found out that I had appendicitis. I remember how much pain I felt and how at first my parents thought I just had a bad stomachache or the flu. By nighttime, I had a high fever and so much pain that I was rushed to the hospital. I had my appendix removed successfully and then had to go home for bed rest right when my seventh grade was supposed to start. I finally started school at a new charter school called American Preparatory Academy with my sisters Claudia and Jazzy and my brother Daniel. We really enjoyed that school and felt we learned a lot there. It was a very positive environment and had a lot of great kids going there as well as some great teachers.
STAR SEARCH SONGS
PRELIMINARY ROUND
“Who’s Loving You” by Jackson 5
SEMIFINALS
“Fallin’” by Alicia Keys
FINALS
“You’re All I Need to Get By” by Marvin Gaye
BATTLE OF THE CHAMPIONS
“I Surrender” by Celine Dion
SECOND-YEAR WINNER’S CIRCLE
“A House Is Not a Home” by Luther Vandross
“Climb Every Mountain” from The Sound of Music
“Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers
“Get Here” by Oleta Adams
“Wind Beneath M
y Wings” by Bette Midler
Sometime around Thanksgiving, after only being back to school for a few months, my dad received a phone call from the people at Star Search asking if I could come back for a special show they were putting together for the new season. For this would come to be the final Star Search series, three winners from the previous year or sometimes a contestant who was a runner-up were brought back to compete. Mark Mejia, Molly, and I were the three Junior Vocalists. By then, the show had decided to just have three judges now on the panel; fifteen stars was the highest score possible. The winner had the chance to challenge another performer. The one challenged had to beat or tie the challenger. If they couldn’t, they were out of the competition, and the challenger took his or her place in the winners’ circle. Halfway through the series, the three performers in each winners’ circle competed against one another in a special show.
When I arrived in Hollywood for the second year of Star Search, I was sick with a pretty bad cold, which was an ongoing battle for me during my early years in singing. I had come down with the kind of cold that I’d always get around Christmas. It wasn’t my greatest year health-wise; I’d had bronchitis over the summer, which I hadn’t fully recovered from, and in the fall, I had appendicitis and had my appendix removed. Now I had this chronic cold, where I’d get all stuffy and a little weak. It wasn’t a big deal, I was pretty used to it by now, and I never thought it was anything to worry about. People get sick during the winter, right? But it got worse and worse while I was on Star Search, until by the sixth week, I could barely get through a song. At first, we thought maybe it was that my voice was starting to change, but we also knew very well that this usually doesn’t affect a person’s breathing. I was so wheezy and short of breath that even my talking became restricted, and I couldn’t sing for more than ten or fifteen minutes without getting really worn out and having a hard time controlling my pitch or holding out a note for very long. I hadn’t ever had this extreme of a problem before and my family was nervous about what was happening, but I guess I was a bit in denial of (or just too young to understand) what this could mean.
Chords of Strength Page 7