I figure each moment prepares you for the next one, so that by the time you reach the point in the future that you were so worried about, you are ready for it. This concept helps calm me down when I feel overwhelmed by what’s ahead. I never think that I’m going to be ready for anything; but when it is right in front of me I usually end up surprising myself. If I have to leave you with one thing, it is that you should always be willing to follow your instincts. Our instincts, which you could also call our inner voice or our conscience, knows what’s best for us, and tempted as we all tend to be to stifle that voice, we have to remember—it knows. It knows the deepest things about us. If I hadn’t followed my instincts, I’d probably still be running sound tech at the Murray Amphitheater right now. Maybe many of us are discouraged from listening to our conscience because of the pressures we get from society to pursue other types of achievements. Everyone has their reasons for doing (or not doing) what they do. But it is now my deep belief that when you follow your gut, you almost always end up where you need to be. Deep inside, we know our own truths, so it is our job to pay attention to the rumblings of our soul.
. . . fame brings with it the opportunity to help other people.
As for myself, my conscience told me a profound truth about myself that essentially ignited me. It provided me with the answers when my life was all questions; it fueled me with faith when I wasn’t sure what was best for me. It connected me with the parts of myself that would always matter most, and I know that it will continue to guide me as I move forward in my life. My conscience led me to give music another try and, in turn, has led me to great personal joy. I hope that my story has in some way inspired you to trust your own instincts, to follow your conscience, to have faith in yourself, so that you too can find joy and happiness.
And remember, even when you can’t sing, you can always plant a tree. . . .
MUSICAL APPENDIX
I was very fortunate to have been exposed to a wide variety of music and artists since I was young. This has definitely influenced my approach to singing and performing, as well as what I am now trying to get across in the songs I write. Every new song that I hear teaches me some unique lesson; it invites me to listen and learn from its structure and lyrics the emotional essence of the song. To this end, I have been a student of songs since I was quite young, reading several volumes of different Billboard books, trying to understand what songs were popular over the years, and more importantly, why they were popular.
There have been so many songs over the years that moved me intensely and they continue to so. I thought I would leave you with a list of some of my all-time favorites, a wide range of music that tells many different stories and communicates many kinds of feelings. Here they are:
SOME OF MY FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Joy Williams, “Every Moment.” A really positive song from someone I really look up to as a person, not just as an artist.
2. Natasha Bedingfield, “These Words.” This song inspired me to start writing. Natasha is willing to try new things and her lyrics are so relatable.
3. Tracy Chapman, “Fast Car.” The first time I heard this song, I had goose bumps the entire time. After that, I couldn’t stop listening to it. It’s a song that lets me escape from everything.
4. Boston, “More Than a Feeling.” I’m not really sure what I loved about this song so much, but it put me in a trance or something—I kept listening to it over and over. I still love it and it’s one of my favorite songs.
5. Karen Clark-Sheard, “Higher Ground.” A song that talks about moving forward in life and keeping hopes up. Her singing is amazing.
6. Kirk Franklin, “Imagine Me.” Another song that helps to remind you of the important things in life and keeps you strong. This album was the first time I really started listening to Gospel music.
7. Manhattan Transfer, “Birdland.” I love the harmonies in this song and how it’s so unique.
8. John Mayer, “Dreaming with a Broken Heart.” John Mayer is amazing because of the natural sense of groove that he brings to each song. He always shows tremendous musicianship. His music is always interesting, never boring, and people really respect him as a musician. This song is about making a difference, and it happened to be my favorite song when I first auditioned for Idol. It was the first song that people heard me sing live on TV, so it will always have a special place in my heart.
9. Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” I don’t really need to explain the greatness of this song! I’m one of the many who was greatly inspired by Queen.
10. Led Zeppelin, “Kashmir.” This song showed me how much you could do with a song and that you don’t have to follow the typical route for creating music.
11. Yes, “Roundabout.” Another song I love for how different and creative it is. The chord progression in this song is so cool, and all its different sounds and changes make it totally unique. The song never gets boring, and it’s eight minutes long!
12. Mariah Carey, “Butterfly.” Simply one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.
13. Deborah Cox, “Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here.” I love the power and emotion in her voice.
14. Joni Mitchell, “Help Me.” The first Joni Mitchell song I ever heard, and I listened to it nonstop.
15. Stevie Wonder, “Sir Duke.” A great song explaining what music’s all about, by a guy who represents what music’s all about.
16. Michael Jackson, “Black or White” and “Man in the Mirror.” Some of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. “Black or White” has such a catchy guitar riff, and it just makes me feel good. I think all of Michael’s music makes you move in some way. He has without a doubt been one of my greatest influences, as I grew up listening to his music almost religiously.
17. Seal, “Waiting for You.” He’s such a brilliant songwriter, and I love the tone of his voice.
18. TLC, “Waterfalls.” I listened to this song so much when I was a kid. I love it because it brings back memories of when I was younger. It’s a song that makes you feel happy and a maybe a little sad, too. In general, the music of TLC showed this amazingly sweet groove that I loved for a good part of my childhood.
19. La India, “Nunca Voy A Olvidarte.” Such a great cover because she really delivers these lyrics with so much passion and emotion. I also love the changes in the song, and how it captures the flavor essence of Latin American music.
20. Alanis Morissette, “Uninvited.” This has a haunting melody that gives me goose bumps.
21. Selena, “Amor Prohibido.” One of the first artists I ever liked listening to.
22. Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth, “For Good.” A song about appreciating how someone has changed your life.
23. Jackie Allen, “When Will I Ever Learn.” I love this cover. It’s always allowed me to calm down when things were crazy.
24. Kelly Rowland, “Stole.” I love the blend of styles in the song, and the sad story.
25. Natalie Cole, “Pink Cadillac.” The tone of Natalie’s voice was so captivating to me when I was little, and this song in particular made me crazy. I would play it on repeat for months on end when I was nine or ten years old. I’m not sure what drew me to it, but I was obsessed. It’s one of the first songs I liked that had kind of a soulful groove to it.
26. Imogen Heap, “Wait It Out” and “Hide and Seek.” Such unique songs. I love anything Imogen sings, actually. She’s never trying to be good or catchy—she simply tries to show emotion through her songs. She dares to be different, and you can hear it in every one of her songs. She chooses to be interesting, which to me is always the secret of amazing music. I love the pride she takes in being experimental.
27. Paul McCartney, “Maybe I’m Amazed.” One of the best classic songs. Great emotion in his voice.
28. Eva Cassidy, “What a Wonderful World.” One of the greatest songs ever. Eva has taught me so much about the power music has. I don’t know of anyone who sings more sensitively. She brings out the emotion in both the lyric and the
music.
29. Jason Mraz, “Beautiful Mess.” He’s a genius. His lyrics are just amazing, and I love his music.
30. U2, “One.” I love how their songs are so big and powerful. So much passion in them.
31. Sara McLachlan, “Arms of the Angel.” One of those songs I used to sing when I was nine or ten that allowed me to really escape, and be in a different place.
32. Tori Amos, “Silent All of These Years.” I love how simple and beautiful this song is, allowing you to really pay attention to her story and what she has to say to people.
33. Dave Brubeck, “Take Five.” I love the melody to this classic jazz song, which always gets stuck in my head.
34. Brandi Carlile, “The Story.” She’s such a powerful singer, she pours out her emotion throughout the whole song.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’D LIKE TO thank God for the many blessings He gives and continues to give. I’ve had so many opportunities that I never imagined could happen, and owe Him for the strength and the guidance. I hope this is another opportunity that I’ve taken advantage of to serve others and to glorify His name.
My mom and dad are the ones who have raised me and have really influenced all the experiences I’ve gone through in my life. They are the ones who have taught me how to handle it all, and I’m so grateful for their continued support.
I can’t thank my brother and sisters enough for putting up with me all the time. Claudia, Daniel, Jazzy, and Amber: I know you guys deal with a lot but I appreciate how you never have changed the way you see me, for caring and for always being there.
I owe so much to the work that Monica Haim has put into this book. Thank you, Monica, for trying to be as understanding as you could with my stories and trying to preserve my character in here. I know it has been a lot of work for you, and I am glad I was able to have the opportunity of talking to you all these times and share these stories with you personally. Thanks for doing your best and putting so much effort into it.
I’d like to thank my publisher, Raymond Garcia, for going way beyond the call of duty to make sure I was happy with this book, as well as Tracy Bernstein, Kim Suarez, Kara Welsh, and everyone else at Penguin marketing, publicity, and sales.
I would also like to give my gratitude to “Maddy.” You rock! Ha ha!
There are so many of my friends that have directed me to great experiences and wonderful moments in my life. I’m thankful for each of your contributions to my life. Some of them may have only been simple things, but they have been life changing and so influential. Thanks for continuing to teach me and share your advice with me.
I’d like to give a shout-out to my extended family, who were also a big part of raising me to become who I am today. My grandparents, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and all other family members who have been such a blessing in my life.
To all the people that I work with, I appreciate all the work you guys do! Thanks for encouraging me to do this project, and for making sure things run smoothly. Jared, Josh, Lauri, and the others who have helped with this book.
I’m so grateful to the fans who have allowed me to do music and continue my journey beyond what I ever thought I could do. This book is dedicated to you guys, and I hope by sharing these stories and thoughts with you that you will be able to grab and learn something from it. I hope that there is something in here for each one of you and that you will have a better understanding of why I am who I am.
Chords of Strength Page 20