Tonight and Forever

by Brenda Jackson

  Lorren entered the art shop, which was adorned with many gift ideas. She was staring at some beautiful ebony art figurines that she thought would be perfect to add to Justin’s collection when a man’s deep voice spoke from behind.

  “Hello, Lorren. It’s been a while. How have you been?”

  She whirled around, recognizing that voice anywhere. It belonged to the man who had caused her so much heartache, shame, and misery. He was the one man she had never wanted to see again. The shock on her face extended to her eyes.

  “Scott! What are you doing here?” Standing just under six feet tall, he stood smiling down at her as if they were the best of old friends. He had lost a few pounds since she’d seen him last but, other than that, he looked the same. She used to think he was a handsome man. And there was no doubt in her mind that some women would still think so. His golden-colored eyes, strong jaw, and the cleft in his chin were features most would consider striking. But those were things people saw on the outside. On the inside, he had everything it took to make up a sleazy human being.

  “I was hoping I’d run into you.”

  Anger flared in Lorren’s eyes. “Why?”

  “So we could talk.”

  “There’s nothing we have to say to each other, Scott. We said it all the day of our divorce.” Bitterness laced her every word. How could she have ever thought she loved him? How could she have ever thought at one time he was special? And how could she have tolerated the pain he’d caused her for two years?

  She sighed deeply. How many times during her marriage had she gone to sleep crying from his cruel words? And how many times had he apologized for his ill use of her, and she’d forgiven him?

  “Baby, surely you don’t mean that.”

  Lorren flinched at the endearment and threw her words at him like stones. “I mean every word. We have nothing to say to each other. Good-bye.”

  He was silent for a long moment and she could tell he was controlling his anger. He was known to have a quick temper when things weren’t going his way.

  “All right, Lorren. Now isn’t a good time to talk. You’re upset, I can see that, and it’s understandable. I treated you badly while we were married, and I regret it. I’ve missed you, baby.”

  She laughed in his face. “Missed me? Give me a break, Scott.”

  His smile faded. “I’ve given you more than a break, Lorren. I’ve given you a year. Don’t forget we still have some of the same friends. And according to what I’ve been hearing, you haven’t been doing a whole lot of dating since our divorce. And that can only mean one thing. You haven’t gotten over me. What other possible reason could you have for moving back to this dreary little town?”

  Lorren was speechless at Scott’s incorrect assumptions.

  “I’m willing to take you back, baby,” he continued, as if he had walked out on her instead of it being the other way around. “I’ll even agree to go with you to counseling sessions for that little problem of yours. This time, we’ll work things out together. But like I said, now isn’t a good time to talk. I’m going to hang around town for a few days. When I think you’re ready to see me, I’ll give you a call. See ya.”

  Lorren watched as he turned and walked out of the shop, becoming lost in the crowd. She was still too stunned to speak. Of all the nerve! Scott Howard had just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was a conceited jerk. And it only made her feel just that much more ashamed of how stupid she’d been to have ever gotten involved with him.

  “See anything you like?”

  Lorren turned when she heard Justin’s voice. He slid his arms around her waist.

  “Lorren, what’s wrong? You’re shaking.”

  She inhaled deeply. Should she mention seeing Scott to Justin? No. There really was no need. Contrary to what Scott thought, she wasn’t pining away for him. She was free of him, and he couldn’t hurt or humiliate her anymore. And if he did try contacting her as he claimed he would do, she would refuse to talk to him.

  “Lorren?”

  Bringing her thoughts back to the present, she met Justin’s concerned gaze. “I’m fine, Justin. And no, I didn’t see anything I liked. Besides”—she forced a smile—” as you reminded me earlier, I’ve spent enough of your money for one day.”

  Justin grinned. “Go ahead, woman, and break me. I’m enjoying every minute of it. Are you ready to go to the bookstore?”

  Her smile widened. “Yes, let’s go.”

  Chapter 11

  T here was a slight breeze coming in off the lake, and the scent of bluebonnets was heavy in the air. Dusk crept through the trees and surrounded the land in a purple mist.

  Justin and Lorren stood on the porch and watched as night came. Its arrival beckoned the moon and stars to show their faces.

  Lorren’s arm was around Justin’s waist as she nestled her head against the broad expanse of his chest. She was unusually quiet, and had been since they had returned home from the Festival.

  “Lorren?”

  “Ummm?”

  “A penny for your thoughts.”

  Lorren shifted slightly. You’re better off not knowing them. She felt Justin’s cheek resting on top of her head. His arms felt warm and strong as they caressed her back.

  She turned her head slightly and looked up at him. There was no way she could tell him that she’d been trying to convince herself that she really hadn’t seen Scott in Ennis that afternoon; and that she really hadn’t talked to him.

  But the truth of the matter was she had, and she couldn’t help but remember his words…“When I think you’re ready to see me, I’ll give you a call….”

  Lorren turned back to look at the lake and decided not to share with Justin her present thoughts, but to share with him some of her earlier ones.

  “I was just thinking how wonderful this day has been and how I hate to see it come to an end.”

  She felt Justin smile against her temple. “Do you know what my favorite part of the day was?” he asked.

  She laughed softly, giving her head a nod. “I think I have an idea, but tell me anyway.”

  “Our visit to the bookstore.” He laughed as he pulled her closer to him. “It’s nice to know a celebrity.”

  Lorren’s mood lightened with Justin’s teasing. When they had reached the bookstore, she’d discovered she wasn’t the only person who had anxiously awaited the arrival of her books. The store had been swarming with a crowd of children and their parents, who wanted to purchase the newest Kente Kids book.

  She soon found herself surrounded by the children, who wanted her to autograph their books. Justin had found the scene rather amusing and had waited patiently, something Scott would never have done, while she accommodated each and every child. He didn’t like kids—something he hadn’t bothered to mention until after they’d gotten married. Besides, Scott had always been slightly jealous of her work.

  Justin, on the other hand, seemed immensely proud of her. He’d even taken the time to keep some of the smaller children occupied by gathering them in a group and reading some scenes out of her book to them. He had kept them entranced with the words that flowed from his mouth. His deep voice made the characters in her book come to life, and the African names rolled easily off his tongue.

  She had been so rapt as she watched him thumb through the pages, reading to the children. He truly loved kids, and it showed. She could envision a little boy with Justin’s strong features, and a little girl with her daddy’s heartwarming smile.

  Lorren noticed some of the parents had also gotten caught up in Justin’s recitation. He was so compelling, his magnetism was so rich. His vitality completely captivated everyone around him.

  She tipped her head back to look at him. She was driven to ask the one question that amazed her about him ever since he’d told her about his wife’s death. “How did you do it, Justin? How were you able to bounce back after suffering so much pain?”

  For a long moment he didn’t say anything, and for a while she thought he was not
going to answer. He was overcome with emotion when he finally spoke. It was evident his composure was under attack.

  “I’d be a liar if I said it was easy. Because it wasn’t. But somehow, at some point in time, you learn not to let the pain destroy you, and not let the hurt haunt you every waking moment. You have to believe it’ll go away eventually…if you let it. But,” he went on, “not before you ask yourself a thousand times, why me? What did I do to deserve such heartache, such misery, such pain?”

  He took a deep breath before continuing. “Pretty soon you get tired of looking for answers that won’t come. You finally make up your mind to leave behind the thing you can’t change—your past, and concentrate on the thing that you can—your future.”

  Lorren wished she could have taken that attitude when she’d become engulfed in her pain. She had gotten so wrapped up in the hurt, she hadn’t been able to see beyond it. Even now she hurt when she remembered how things had been between her and Scott, and the lies he’d told.

  She wondered how long it would take before her pain completely faded. At what point would she stop looking for answers to questions regarding Scott’s treatment of her? One thing was for sure, she thought, as a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Justin had become the best pain reliever around.

  “While I have you exactly where I want you, Lorren, there’s something I’d like to ask you.”

  “What?”

  “I’m going home to Houston in a few days. My parents are giving my baby sister a sweet sixteen party. The entire family will be there, and I’d like you to go with me.”

  Lorren twisted in his arms so that she could see his face. She didn’t want to read more into his invitation than was really there. But a part of her couldn’t stop the happiness that flowed through her. “Will it be okay with your parents if I were to come?”

  “Sure. My parents, especially my mother, will be ecstatic. She’s dying to meet you.”

  “In that case, I can’t disappoint her, can I?”

  Justin laughed. “No, you can’t. And believe me, you won’t.”

  Later that night Lorren sat at her desk, working on an outline for a new book. The ringing of the telephone interrupted her thoughts.

  “Hello?”

  No one answered her, although she heard a deep, breathing sound on the other end.

  “Hello?” she repeated.

  A quiet click sounded in her ear when the caller hung up on her.

  Lorren took a deep breath. Common sense told her the caller evidently had gotten a wrong number, or it had been a bored teenager with nothing else to do on a Saturday night but play games on the telephone.

  But another part of her, the one that dealt more with caution than common sense, couldn’t help wondering if…

  “Was that a wrong number, Lorren?”

  Lorren looked up. Justin had completed his shower and stood in the doorway of the bedroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. His upper body gleamed a golden brown in the soft light, and the beads of water on his shoulder shimmered like jewels.

  There was a tremor in her voice when she answered. “Yes, apparently.” She found it difficult to draw air past the heaviness unfolding in her chest.

  “Are you coming to bed now?” he asked huskily, walking toward her, his gaze never leaving hers.

  All thoughts of completing the outline for her book were lost. “Yes, I think I will.”

  Justin gathered her into his embrace. “Good. I’d be lonely in bed without you.”

  Lorren rested her cheek against his damp chest, feeling his strength and the very essence of him. His iron-muscled thighs felt warm against the soft cotton of her shorts. All thoughts of the phone call left her mind.

  She stepped back out of his arms. Without taking her eyes off his, she began removing her clothes. “The last thing I want is for you to be lonely.”

  Lorren lifted her eyelids slowly, trying to ignore the sunlight dancing along the windowsill and sliding into her room. She didn’t want to wake up just yet.

  “Uhmmm,” she moaned, closing her eyes again. The memories she encountered when shutting them made the very air around her seem electrified. All during the night and the early morning hours, Justin had loved her.

  Their bodies had come together with the reverence of intense hunger and the promise of total fulfillment. And it had continued until Justin had received an emergency call and left.

  The warmth of the bedroom as well as the clock on her bedside table told Lorren it was well into the morning. Eleven o’clock to be exact.

  She was about to get out of bed when the telephone rang. Thinking it could possibly be Justin or Mama Nora, she quickly picked it up.

  “Hello?”

  “Are you in a better mood to talk to me, sweetheart?”

  Lorren’s shoulders stiffened and her fingers tightened their grip on the phone. “Why are you calling, Scott? I’ve told you, we have nothing to say to each other.”

  “But we do. I want us to get back together. Baby, I admit I was wrong and want to make it up to you. Just give me a—”

  Lorren pushed the button, disconnecting the call. She placed the phone back on the receiver, not wanting to hear anything he had to say.

  The telephone rang again. She flinched at the sound. She refused to answer the phone. There was no way she would believe Scott wanted a reconciliation with her. There had to be another reason for his sudden interest after a year.

  She would bet any amount of money that he’d heard about her pending business deal with Corvel Toy Company. If everything worked out, that deal would become a very profitable venture. Scott was a big enough jerk to try to woo her back just to be able to cash in on her success.

  The phone stopped ringing and Lorren took a deep breath and tried to relax. She got out of bed and started for the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway when the phone began ringing once again. Biting her lips, she entered the bathroom and closed the door, shutting off the shrill tone of the ringing phone.

  “Why didn’t you answer the phone?”

  Lorren spun around from the kitchen counter at the sound of the welcome voice. Her gaze traveling the length of him, Lorren thought just how good Justin looked dressed in a pair of jeans and a pullover shirt. “What?”

  He walked over and hugged her, then held her away. “I asked why you didn’t answer the phone, baby. I tried calling you a couple of times from the hospital.”

  “Oh. I may have been in the shower, or I may have been outside,” she replied half-truthfully. “What did you want?”

  Justin pulled her back into his arms. “I thought I’d let you know that I ran into Rod at the hospital, and he told me Rhonda delivered last night. They have another son.”

  Lorren glanced up, happiness for their friends shining in her eyes. “Oh, Justin, that’s wonderful. Give me all the details.”

  Justin laughed. “Of course Rod says the kid looks just like him. He weighed nine pounds and twelve ounces. Both mom and baby are doing fine. Rod claims his newest son will be ready to play for the Cowboys in twenty-two years.” Justin shook his head. “Poor kid. Who would want to play for the Cowboys?”

  Lorren flashed him a piqued look. “Watch it, Justin. You’re really asking for trouble.” She grinned. “What are they going to name him? I’m sure whatever it is, it’ll begin with the letter ‘R.’”

  “They’re naming him Royce.”

  “Royce? I like that,” Lorren replied, nodding. “It’s a pretty name.”

  “Wrong.”

  Lorren raised a brow. “Wrong?”

  “Yes, wrong. Boys names aren’t pretty. Girls names are.”

  Lorren smiled. “That sounds a little chauvinistic, but I guess I really can’t expect much better from a Texans’ fan.”

  Justin laughed, then placed a kiss on her lips. “How would you like to go out to dinner, then drop by the hospital to see Rhonda and the baby?”

  Lorren’s smile widened. She needed to get away from the house for a while
to get her muddled thoughts together. “I’d really like that.”

  It was nearly seven in the evening when Justin and Lorren returned. Dusk was just beginning to settle in.

  “Sandra cleared my calendar for tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to leave for Houston earlier than we’d planned?” Justin asked as they entered Lorren’s house.

  “That’ll be fine,” Lorren replied. She was anxious to get away for a while. All during dinner, her nerves had been stretched to the limits, not knowing if Scott was still hanging around. She didn’t want to run into him again. Hopefully, while she was out of town, he would give up his insane idea of their talking and return to California.

  “Let’s dance, Lorren.”

  “What?” She looked up at Justin, a bit confused.

  “I said let’s dance.”

  Lorren’s ears suddenly picked up the soft sound of Toni Braxton as it floated through the room. Justin must have turned on her CD player while her thoughts had been a million miles away.

  “Sure,” she said, going into his outstretched arms. He pulled her closer to him, and she drew comfort from his hard body as they slowly swayed to the music.

  Lorren knew in reality that Justin wasn’t actually dancing. What he was doing was holding her so that every inch of her body felt every hard inch of his. Evidently he’d sensed something was bothering her, and, in his own special way, he was giving her a portion of his inner strength.

  Resting his cheek against the top of her head, he swayed gently from side to side, holding her close. His arms tightened around her.

  “What’s bothering you, baby?” Justin murmured against her ear. “I’m a good listener if you want to talk about it.”

  Lorren took a deep breath. He was giving her the perfect opportunity to open up to him, to tell him about Scott’s calls. Deep down she wanted to, but to confide in him about it also meant telling him about the last night she’d spent with Scott. She’d told no one about that night, not even Syneda, although Lorren was sure Syneda had an idea of what might have happened to make her finally leave Scott.