“You can’t come here and use your experience with words on me. I’m sorry, Justin, but I told you it’s over between us. Please respect that and stop with all the antics, please.”
“Can’t, I’m here and it’s time to stow you away in the cottage,” I say as I toss her over my shoulder and start walking toward the bookstore.
“Justin, put me down right this moment.”
“Nope, you an I are getting to the bottom of this. Lucky for me, the weather is about to change and we can’t go anywhere.”
“Oh, trust me I can find places to escape.”
“We’ll see about that,” I say as we continue up the sidewalk toward to the cottage. I spot Haddie and Elliott sitting out on the porch of the Inn as we get closer. Before I turn to head up the stairs, I slow my stride and toss a friendly hand up to them both, which causes them to laugh and Leslie to let out a frustrated rush of air.
“You can put me down now,” she says as we reach the top step.
“I’ll set you down once I have you inside. Which pocket has the keys?”
“The right one,” she responds, and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face as I realize it’s the one closest to me. It’s either my lucky day, or I’m about to have my ass handed to me when we walk through this door. Whatever Leslie plans to dish out, I’ll take it, but before this is said and done—she’ll hear me out. Leslie will realize that we’re perfect for each other. Always have been. It’s just taken us both a little longer to figure this out.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Leslie
“Are you going to put me down now?” I ask Justin as we enter my house. All the blood feels as if it’s gone to my head and even though I’m enjoying the view of his ass, I’d like to see his face instead.
“Do you agree to not run away and listen to what I have to say?”
“No, but just for the record, that’s all you’ve done is talk since you’ve showed up,” I tell him and feel the shift in his body before he lowers my feet to the floor. Letting out a rush of air, I get my bearings together as my hands find their way to my hips. I take a deep breath before lashing into Justin. “Justin, you might rule the world back in California, but here, this is my space and you can’t bring one of your personalities here and think you own me. It doesn’t work that way.”
“Listen, Leslie…” He stops, and I watch him run his hands along his face in frustration before he speaks. “I’ve got one personality, and you know it inside and out. The person you’re mad at, the one you see on the TV and read in the newspaper, that person has to be that way. I don’t share my private life with my readers. The interview today, that’s as far as I’ve ever been with giving anything away. The person you’re mad at is me, the one standing before you. The one who is trying to tell you that he wants you and only you, but your pride is so damn stubborn you can’t open your eyes up and see me.”
“Oh, I see you but you don’t get it, do you?”
“Apparently I don’t, so why don’t you try to explain it to me?”
“I’m going to change. When I come back we can talk, but then you need to leave. I don’t care where you go, but you’re not staying here.”
“You do realize it’s storming outside and the bridge is closed?”
“I didn’t tell you to leave the island, I just said here,” I tell him before turning to walk to my bathroom. Once inside, I twist the lock making sure I have some kind of privacy. I need a moment to think. To capture my thoughts before he takes them away. That’s what Justin has always done, he takes my thoughts away before I can even speak. Not to mention, that I’m not even sure what to say to him. Do I tell him that I love him and have always, or walk away and live the rest of my life here on this island alone? My phone’s still in my pocket; I slide it out and text Haddie, who I know is waiting to find out what is happening.
Me: I don’t know what to do at this point.
I notice the dots popping up as soon as I hit send. I move over to the side of the tub and sit while I stare at the screen. It’s almost as if this little screen holds all the answers to the world’s problems. That by some grace of God, I’ll be able to leave the confines of my bathroom smarter and with answers.
Haddie: Yes, you do, Leslie. Follow your heart, it will lead you in the right direction. I know you’re mad, but listen to him and admit that you love him and have for as long as I’ve known you.
Me: You might be right, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared.
Haddie: If you weren’t scared, then I’d worry.
Me: If I move forward with Justin, you have to tell Elliott how you feel about him.
Haddie: Totally not fair. We are talking about you right now, not me.
Me: What if he breaks my heart once again? I can’t endure that again.
Haddie: You’ve been through more than any person I’ve known. That’s made you stronger and you CAN handle this. Now, turn your phone off and go to him. Listen and make up… I’ve heard makeup sex with a storm brewing is HOT. Just keep your windows closed, I don’t need to hear it.
Me: FINE! But no sex, he has to earn that again. Be safe, and my phone will be on.
I let Haddie’s words sink in for a few minutes. I think back to when I was married to Jack and how I’d lay in bed alone at night wishing Justin would come rescue me from this place. Kidnap me from one of the worst mistakes I’d ever made, but he never came. He was supposed to be my knight in shining armor, the one who would ride in like a fairytale and rescue me from the person who had me captured in the top of the tower. Could I spin this as that moment? Even though I walked away from one mistake, can I run toward Justin knowing that it could be the worst mistake ever? I keep telling myself that this is that, but then my heart takes over and tells me I’d be making the mistake if I walked away. I just wish I had some kind of magic ball that could tell me my life path. The one I’m meant to follow without getting burned.
Standing, I slide off my clothes and decide to take a warm shower before heading back out to Justin. I need a little longer to put myself together. I need air… Air that will be taken away the moment I agree to move forward. The pressure of the water hits my skin and slides over my tired body. I can’t help but focus on how tired I really am. I need to be honest with myself, with Justin, and tell him the things I’ve found. The reason I’m upset about the book. Reaching up to turn the water off, the lights flicker alerting me to the real world that’s happening around me. Not only do I have a storm outside in my living room, there’s one crashing to shore as I sit here and figure out my life. You’d think that in the thirty-two years of me being on this earth, I’d have some kind of wisdom, but I don’t. All I have is knowledge of the past, but that might not lead me to my future.
Dressed in my favorite lounge pants and t-shirt, I head back out to the living room. When I enter, I notice Justin has the lanterns lit and is in the kitchen cooking.
“What are you doing?”
“Making you dinner, what’s it look like?”
“I see you didn’t lose your smart mouth,” I say as I get closer.
“Never with you, have to keep you on your toes.”
“You made us tomato soup and grilled cheese?” I say this like a question, but it’s more in surprise that he remembered that this is what I like to eat when it’s storming. It’s comfort and even though Nan is gone, this is my go-to meal when it rains. It doesn’t have to be a tropical storm, it could be a typical summer storm and this is what I’ll eat. It makes me feel safe and secure.
“There’s a lot of things that I remember, Leslie. You just have to give me a chance.”
“Did you know that the definition of chance is ‘a possibility of something happening’ and I’m not sure if I can allow that something to happen.”
“Have you been reading the dictionary again?” Justin asks.
Trying to hide my smile, I respond, “Nope, not since that one summer, but I am a walking one, don’t you remember.” I can’t hel
p but laugh at the memory of that summer when we both read an entire dictionary and would quiz each other on different words and meanings.
“Ready to eat?”
“Yes, but then you leave.”
“Still sticking with that plan, huh?”
“Yes, and I mean it, Justin,” my voice cracks as I say his name, giving away that I really don’t mean it. Maybe he didn’t notice. Every second Justin is still here, I can feel the need for him to stay and keep me company. My current problem is I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know if I should reveal the secrets that I’ve found and not even shared with Haddie, or keep them buried deep inside forever. A part of me wants to reveal them, then the other side tells me to keep it to myself so I don’t have to admit anything.
I sit down on the floor in front of the coffee table and watch Justin place our bowls down before he retreats to the kitchen for our sandwiches. It dawns on me what an awful host I am. “Need any help?” I holler from my position.
“Nope, I got it. Do you want tea or something with your dinner?”
“Water would great,” I say as I stare over in the corner at the stack of boxes that I moved there this morning. Before I know it, Justin is next to me and I can feel him watching me glare at the boxes. Quickly, I pick up my spoon and dip it in the soup before bringing it to my lips.
“What’s all that? You packing up or something?”
Through a mouthful of bread and cheese, I respond, “Just a bunch of junk I found in the basement.” I shrug my shoulders acting as if it’s nothing.
“Don’t look like nothing.”
“Trust me, it is.”
“Alright, well let’s try simple talk, shall we?”
“How about let’s eat and you leave, that works for me.”
“You know, you never were good at being rude and it’s not you, so let’s drop the act.”
“Let me tell you something, Justin. The old me is no longer here, and you’ve just begun to see the new me.”
“Well, I like the old and new you, just so you know, but I told you already. I’m here to work this out and no matter what, I’m not leaving. It’s storming outside anyway.”
“Never stopped you before,” I say under my breath, but I know he heard me.
We both sit here for the rest of the meal in silence. Neither one of us breaking to go off on the other. I’m certain Justin won’t say anything to me that would set me off, but just him being this close to me is enough to make me feel like a bomb is strapped to my chest. You know that moment when you’re watching TV and the captive is strapped to a chest bomb while the kidnapper paces back and forth trying to get answers from you? That’s what I feel like right now, but the bomb is the boxes staring at me from the corner. It’s almost like they want to jump out and strangle me while Justin sits back and watches.
Finished with my dinner, I sit back and uncross my legs, stretching them out under the coffee table while raising my hands over my head. I cuff them together, bracing for the whiplash that’s about to unfold.
“Did you know they found my parents?” I say softly, and I’m not even sure Justin heard me.
“What, did you just say you know where your parents are?”
“No, I said they found them.”
“Is there a difference, Leslie?”
“Yes, I didn’t know until two days ago. That’s what all that is,” I say, pointing toward the corner.
“Okay,” Justin says before shifting to look at me. I don’t turn my head toward him; instead, I keep my eyes trained in on the boxes that hold so much more than just memories.
“Apparently a diver was searching for shark teeth and found a car on the bottom of the river. There were no bodies inside, but the plates and VIN number they were able to recover matched those of my parents.” I stop to take a breath before starting up again. “There was evidence that they might have escaped, but nothing solid. There might be a chance they survived, and then maybe not. What if they did live, why wouldn’t they contact me or come back to get me and take me with them, Justin?”
“There’s no way they would’ve left you behind. Did the report say it looked like an accident, or what?”
“No, all they gave were speculations of what might have happened. Since the bridge wasn’t broken, they think they sped off the road before the bridge and the current drifted the vehicle down the river. All those years ago, they never knew what happened. It was a disappearance and still is. Two people were here one moment and gone the next. They never made it to the fundraiser, so we’re still left with holes in everything.”
“Did Nan ever say what she thought?”
“Nothing other than she never trusted my father. That she felt he was mixed up with bad people. She would never explain what she meant by that, but then again, she never spoke of them much. It was always given that she missed my mother, but that was it. That box shows that she was searching for them all the way up until she got sick. I think Nan believed they were taken and still alive. But don’t you think she would have told me this?”
“I think she was protecting you, and if she had concrete answers, she’d have told you.”
“True, but it would be nice to know. You know, have a place where I can go place flowers and talk to them like I do Nan. I know we buried them, but they aren’t inside. It’s air and I might as well just talk to them while sitting in PJ’s here. There’s no difference.”
“Leslie, you know that I never meant to hurt you, right? That I was trying to make my grand gesture to you. You know, capture the heart of the person I love with words?”
“I know, but it still hurt and scared me.”
“Why did it scare you, explain to me.”
“That people would know it was me, that they would dig into my past. What if my parents were still alive or bad people? Would the person who did this to them come looking for me?”
“I never thought about it like that, but I’ll do everything in my power to not let anything happen to you.”
“You think that, but what happens when you leave and I’m here all alone again? You going to have Elliott take care of me like all these years?”
“I hate to tell you this, but I’m not leaving you this time. No matter what, if I go somewhere you’re going with me.”
“I can’t, Justin, I have a business that I need to tend to. I have bills and a life here.”
“You are my life, Leslie… Do you understand that?” he says while he reaches up and places his hands on either side of my face to turn me toward him.
“I don’t because I’m afraid to see it.”
“Well, open those beautiful eyes of yours and see me. See me trying to love you and protect you.”
“You scare me more than anything else. You have two sides, and I’m afraid I might be in love with both if I’m being honest.”
“I’m just me, but you can love all of me if you want. I won’t complain nor stop you.”
“I do, I love everything about you, Justin.”
“Marry me, let me take care of you for the rest of your life. Start a family with me, let’s live out our hopes, dreams, and our fears together.”
I blink a few times, trying to figure out if he really asked me to marry him or if I’m imagining it. “Usually a yes or no works in a situation like this.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.” My voice is low and crackles as I want to say yes but can’t.
“Say yes. Say yes to everything we can be together.”
“I can’t say yes.”
“Why can’t you?”
“How’s this work? I leave everything behind and run away with you, or you leave your life behind and run after me here on this island? This isn’t the life you want.”
“Leslie, my life back in California is nothing without you in it. That place is just somewhere I work. That house is not a home, it’s where I survive. Here with you is home. No matter where we are if you’re next to me, that’s home and that’s living. I’d never ask you
to leave all this behind, this is your dream.”
“How can you make it sound so simple? I’ve done this once and you see where that landed me—divorced and bitter. If I agreed to marry you and you left me, I’d never survive that, Justin.”
“I’d never leave your side if you agreed to marry me. I’d make sure that every day you felt special, that you knew I loved you more than the air I need to live. I gave up way too easy before, but I think it was meant to happen that way. I was meant to be the person to save you from the past, I just didn’t know how to love you like that when were kids.”
“Say it again,” I say as I wipe the few fallen tears away from my cheeks.
“Say what again, my pledge to love you?”
“No, silly. Ask me again and mean it this time.”
“Okay, meant it the first time but here we go.” I watch as Justin shifts to bended knee, facing me. Grabbing my hands into his, he squeezes one good time before speaking.
“Leslie Owens-Powell, I’ve loved you since the moment you threw a rock at my head and taught me how to skip rocks across the water. It would be an honor to have you be not only my best friend and partner in life and love, but be my wife—the person who grows old with me. Will you marry me?”
I take a moment before I answer him, letting Justin sweat it out a little. A loud rush of thunder rolls from above as the lights flicker one last time. A gust of wind blows the window open, putting out the candles that are lit on the coffee table. My head turns toward the window, wondering if it’s Nan giving me a sign to say yes or no. Do I give in and follow the arrow that’s pointing to the man on his knees before me? Or follow the storm to a future that will forever leave me alone? With a sigh, I turn back toward Justin, squeeze his hands, and answer, “Yes, I’ll marry you, and it took you long enough to realize that I was the one.”
“Always knew you were the one, Leslie. I just had to make sure you were ready for this adventure.”
Follow Your Arrow Page 12